9.23.2006
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey Greg - how you doing?

Hey - good job finding the level lever. Levels are fun, aren't they?

Look - we're trying to get out of this fucking tower. I dunno about your little plans - if you are saving the world and shit, props to you, I suppose - we just want to get out of here.

I'm out of whiskey, see?

Hopefully we can resolve our issues politically, instead of with violence. God knows that's what I'm all about.

Anyway - I suspect irony's lost on you, and it's not really my strong suit, so I'll just ask you to try not to be as much of a douchebag in the future - or rather, a complete and utter cockmongering douchebag. And please - if you've got to get all up in our grill, like you were part of our party...

And let's just stop for a minute and think about you as part of our little group, since you're posting on the party's site. Ha!

... anyway. If you MUST post here, please don't use initials. When you write GTFO, you look like a prepubescent teenage girl. Really - 11th level mage? I guess not being a complete and utter cockmongering douchebag twat-lizard isn't an intelligence-based skill.

You're also too big of a complete and utter cockmongering douchebag twat-lizard cum-goblin to rap, so I won't even ask.

Anyway. See you soon, buddy!

-Dave, Fist of Odin
 
9.22.2006
  Master Gregory Vrill, MPG:
Well, hmm. Look who's blogging. Still playing your little dungeons and dragons game I see. While I do all the work and save the goddamn world.

Pretty typical.

Look, I don't have all day to circle jerk like some people. So let me come to the point. Please, please, for the love of god and Grito, don't come into the mirror world. Just let me save the world. If you come in, you're going to fuck things all up, like usual. Was that too long a post? Let me give you the executive summary:

DEAR SHORT BUS,
GTFO

THX, GV


Seriously, I know you're PCs and want to be heroes and everything. Haven't you been heroic enough, killing the King of Greyhelm, his family, not to mention my wife and dogs and the mayor of Grito? Not exactly a stunning resume.

I mean, come on. You're friends with a Knight of Armek! The enemy! Or did you forget that those guys killed everyone? Haven't you seen any TV shows at all, or Die Hard or anything? He's going to turn on you and mess it all up at the last minute. I know how your downy DM works- I totally called that otyugh thing- and it's just going to be a mess.

Go back to your farm. Please.

Well, you being PCs, I'm sure you didn't have the attention span to read all this. So let me add one last point. New guys? Low level, low hp guys? Like 'Moth', who-only-has-18-hp-according-to-his-publically-available-character-sheet?

I'M AN 11TH LEVEL MAGIC-USER.
LOOK UP 'CLOUDKILL'
LOOK UP '11D4+11' CONE OF COLD
LOOK UP '10D6' FIREBALL
LOOK UP 'STONESKIN'

ASK YOURSELF: IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?


Well, gotta get back to my adventures here. Sigh, I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon. Douches.

Sincerely,
Master Gregory Vrill, MPG
Mage
Master of the GREYHELM Potion Guild
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 10 COMPLETE)
You steel yourself and try to be brave, rushing downstairs when you hear the knock on the door.

Before your father can get there, as the door swings open, you jump out and wrap your massive hands around the Mystic's neck, squeezing until blood oozes- then spurts- all over your hands and chest. You'll have to wash that shirt again.

The dead body of the Mystic at the doorstep lets the others know not to come knocking. Lamb's blood indeed.

Back inside, your father scolds you for disobeying his instructions, but you know he's secretly proud of his gigantic, adopted, ogre son.

The end.

...

Schmektor, STR +1. First chapter complete and sealed. Another rune, the third, appears in the front of the book. The last page has tripled in thickness and is beginning to take on a glassy look and feel.
 
  Schmektor:
Thanks for the tip Mar... These dreams are kickin my ass. I have tried the direct assault a few times... but to no avail. I don't think I can take much more of this.
 
  Schmektor:
The Good Son - yet again.

I wait at the top of the steps until the door opens. When it does, I run down the steps and when I reach the third from the bottom, I jump straight at the mystic. I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze. I lock my wrists in my hands and lock on for good.
 
  Must Be Magic
A nice haiku:

You are in Heaven
All you need is to believe
How satisfying



Marivhon, okay, you don't got lots of great skills re: engineering and the like. But you are in the top quartile for IQ in the party, I'll grant you that. So... you really have no f-ing idea how this thing works. Nor does anyone else in the party, which is weird because you guys made some controllers yourselves. Huh. Must be magic.
 
  Marivhon
"wow Scmek you look bad man, maybe you should take a night off from that thing. I think you might want to try fighting a little in the dreams. Like sneak off and kill the mystic early, or fight the guards. You look rough though."

One potion of raise dead added.

I will buy a fucking controller too. Why are we bringing this guy with us again? I'm not leveling so I try to figure this controller thing out.

Int check made by over half. Open locks? made. Find remove ?missed by a lot.
wis ? missed. % a 13
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
THE WHAT IS LOVE LINK IS DOWN.

I sit down and bawl like a child. We're stuck in the tower, there's been some question about which faith I belong to, I've died before, we're running out of beer - fine. I can deal with all that. But the last bright ray of sunshine in my life - waking up to a surreal bit of quasi-pop - has been crushed, broken, and is lying discarded in the gutter like a dying angel who, in her last breath, realizes that she's no longer feeling her Lord's grace.

Yup.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 9)
You muster up your courage... not an easy thing to do for a cowardly boy like yourself. You unlock the door and rush back downstairs, shaking the wood as you go.

You stand at the door and offer yourself proudly, a martyr to be sacrificed on the altar of familial obligation.

The Mystic leads you off to the dungeons. You gladly go. Later that week, you see your father led down also. He's dead by nightfall. Alone you remain.

The end.
 
  Schmektor:
As ofr the saving of WPs and NWPs, I like the idea of being able to save them, not because I just used some saved up ones (I call ignorance on that one) but because I think that in theory, it seems like a WP or NWP is like personal capacity. You increase your personal capacity through experience. Then, you take the time to stop, train, and fill up that capacity with new skills and abilities. It's not just a factor of time, or else we could all just say "we take off four years and train until we are triple spec'd in every allowable weapon for our class". It is the experience we gain from our adventures that opens our minds to new things.

I'll go with whatever ruling comes down. Even though I like the idea of banking my proficienies, I don't like the idea of bending a lot of rules for ease of play. The rules give us structure against which we get to bang our heads...

administrative:
Oh yeah... and 9 more HP I train to 6th, take Brogg's +1 Sheild, and double spec in long sword... unless that gets the DM veto. I also took my share of the loot including the share of the crown unless we decided to keep it, in which case, some one say so, and I will deduct that.

the end.
 
  Schmektor:
The Good Son - again

I get out from under the bed, run downstairs and push my father out of the way and offer myself as a replacement. I don't listen when my father tells me to go to my room. I stand there and demand to be taken instead of him. I will accept no other option.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 8)
Now that's not very charitable thinking for someone who found you homeless, in a gutter, without family, job, food, or love. Took you into their home and gave you these things, made you into his son.

He's led out to die.

You live a miserable life alone.

The end.
 
  Schmektor:
The Good Son - Take 7

I climb out from under the bed and lay down on it. I cozy up under my blanket and go to sleep. I sleep better than ever knowing that the bastard is gone. I bloody well hate him. I hope they torture him a good long time before he dies.
 
  More People Who Level
Hmm, let's talk about banking skills guys. Strictly by the rules, you gotta spend WP and NWP skillpoints as you get them, you can't just, e.g., save up 3 WPs, find a great magic scimitar, then double spec in scimitar instantly.

But I dunno, I'm on the fence, and if you guys really want to save skills for rainy days, let's talk about it. Thoughts? It's cool waiting a couple of real-life days and thinking about it in any case.

Same with mages taking spells too. Renwick and Moth, you know you get 2 spells per character level for free, plus whatever you can find out there in the world. You have to roll to learn found spells though, like the ones in the Pretty Good Spellbook.
 
  People Who Level
Yeah, like Tut says, please post whenever you do something.

People who level: this means you. Please post your blogrolls for hp, skills that you're taking, etc. So far, although I think five of you can or did level, only Brogg posted his hp rolls.

Sometimes Tut, you just gotta post in large size bold font.
 
  King Tut
To the party:
"Guys, you need to spend 1,000g and write down 'ZOMG controller' on your character sheets. We can't have him randomly attacking party members because they forgot to do this."



>[Sorry, but sometimes peeps be slackin, and the whip needs to be cracked.]
>[Deduct that amount from your character sheet and write "ZOMG controller" on it, and post stating that you do so.]
>[EDIT 2: I didn't know we had to post when leveling. Tut BR'd a 4 for hp + 2 =6, so he has 57 now. I don't think Tut's taking any WP or NWP now, he's just saving them for the time being. I think he has pretty much everything he needs...I don't want him to take any ranged weapons, I think it will be cooler without them. But maybe he can build bombs or shoot his buzzsaw or something, I've got a 2 hr train ride so I'll have lots of time to think.]

 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 0)
Yikes!

The end.
 
  Magic Stuff
Word verification: Blogger thinks we're getting spammed. They have an "automatic spam detection algorithm", that probably flagged us due to 1) the big increase in daily (or minutely/hrly) posting, and 2) a lot of posts have basically the same name ('Book of Bad Dreams blah'). I emailed them yesterday and asked them to make it go away. I didn't curse, but the title of the email was in ALL CAPS and I called the feature 'obnoxious'. Hope they don't just end up deleting our blog!

Speaking of, did you know that as an admin, when you look at the the blog settings, there's a huge blue button that says 'DELETE BLOG'. Wow.

...

Anyway, where were we? Okay Tut, you make a controller too, even though I'm assuming you have the original, being the guy who's actutally making them. So you now have two controllers.

Between Marivhon and Dave FoO, you guys turn mini-Greyhelm into a massive cult of Odin/Zelba worshippers. Marivhon, in a tremendous ceremony, you use all the corpses, the Jug, and the Teapot, to make a Potion of Zelba. Erase the Jug and Teapot.

The Potion of Zelba is a one-use Raise Dead. Brings you back, in exchange for 1 CON point, and your soul goes to Zelba. If Zelba already has your soul (like most of the party), fine, but then you have to go Atone at a Zelba temple once you're back alive- you can't advance in levels until you do. Use wisely.

You study the Golem Book, Dave FoO, but don't learn anything more than what I've told you. It's a one shot, money dump, make a golem book. The Book is magic, and converts that magic into the Golem, then the Book becomes un-magic. Pretty simple.

The Book of Familiar Places is a teleport device. 10 pages. Draw a place you've been, and you can teleport there. Uses up a page. The better the drawing, the more accurate the teleport, but since we'll never remember the blogrolls, you will roll the quality of the drawing when you teleport, not when you make the drawing. To teleport, rip out the page.
 
  Schmektor:
The Good Son (part 17,984,345,232,201)



Alone in my room I ponder my homosexuality and masturbate to pictures of Clay Aiken.

(not sure how that will help my strength stat... but perhaps getting a DM chuckle will do the trick.)
 
  Brogg:
Thanks, Dave, Fist of Odin.

Hey, I get the Book of Familiar Places identified.

Locate Object is the Bomb!
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey - no worries, Brogg. As soon as I heard you needed it more than me I backed off. Not to denigrate your skilz, of course!

And DX or IQ - well, I think Tut had something, that this book might get a FAT lot of gold. I'd rather make a golem or two, much as I'd like a ST, CN or WS point. Ah, well.

I give the new converts some ideas as to what Odin likes from His worshipers. Basically, I relate some of the stories I heard as an acolyte, make a bunch of shit up, and try to get drunk. A wooden statue of Wotan sounds like a Good Thing to Do.

How long does special training last? I imagine I can get some insight as to how to use this controller during that time - Rob? I also study the Golem book, a bit. Plus, I learn how to grenade-hop in Marathon.
 
  Marivhon
I sit and meditate on the nature of my comrades. Their waking screams, the hellish nightmares they endure for a little piece of power. I find it all very compelling material for meditation.

On another note I would like to bring the mindflayer, the king and queen, and the prince's corpse, and use Chef danza's teapot again in a way it's not ment to be. I use the cursed jug of Issac unholy water again. I worship the Lady Zelba and give praise. I thank her for keeping us all safe. Her benevolence is supreme.

I agree with Tut let's not go blowing all our money right now. We should save it up and try to double up.

I try and get whoever was making potions iin town to help out with the ingredients I use in my Chef danza teapot for Zelba thing. If they have any advice of useful ingredients maybe we can make something cool during the unholy ritual.

"good job Brogg you look very well rested."
 
  King Tut
I drop a G for a controller too.

wow what's up with word verification?
 
9.21.2006
  It's The Worst 3rd Level Spell
Okay Dave FoO, you are the proud owner of ZOM-G Controller. No warranty with that. Remember, roll either IQ or WIS plus d% to spin the ZOM-G Wheel.

Um, by 'other books', do you mean 'other chapters of the Book of Bad Dreams'? There are four chapters left: STR, IQ, DEX, and CHA, although Schmektor's working on STR and Moth is working on CHA.

There are plenty of other books in the party, such as the Book of Familiar Places, Clay Goelms for Dummies, etc.

WTF Locate Object?
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
WTF with this word verification? Yukko.

Any books left?

I pitch in 1k for a controller. Anyone else need some cash?
 
  Brogg:
Yay! I have 2 more hit points!!!! Level 6!!! Locate Object!!!

Sorry, Dave, Fist of Odin. But it was a level.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 9 COMPLETE)
Indeed. What a nightmare it was too. You wake up and sit in the gloom, waiting for the sun to rise at last.

The end.

...

Congratulations, that's it. The chapter ends, you get your +1 WIS, and you can now train to 6th level Cleric of Grisbane.
 
  Brogg:
BA: I am not really buried alive. I am dreaming. I wake up.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 8)
No.

You die.
 
  Brogg:
BA: Do I have anything with me?
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 7)
It works. You scream loud and scrape at the walls, and the good people of the village come to your aid. They unearth your grave, heft out your coffin, open it up, and release you to the fresh autumn air.

Later that week, you marry a wonderful bride as you are sworn in as mayor.

...

No. No, ha, that would be so nice. But damned you are, although dead not yet. Soon, not soon enough.

You die, your flesh consumed.

The end.
 
  Brogg:
BA: I am breaking out of this fucking coffin!!! AHH! I try the top, banging my head against the wood. The sides, the floor!! Anything until something gives. I scream at the top of my lungs: "HEY!!! I AM NOT DEAD YET!!!! PLEASE LET ME OUT!!!!" If I have anything on me I scrape at the wood.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter VI: The Wedding (Moth 3)
If only that were true. Alas, you had no time to bring your tuxedo when you first got the message. You're dressed simply.

You know they're coming, you can hear them at the door before they decide to break it down. You go for the window, only to discover it barred from the outside.

They find you with curtains in hands, and drag you downstairs, outside, into the carriage, and finally, yes, a place with no sunlight.

The end.
 
  Moth
(The Wedding)



They'll be here shortly. They will bust down the door and I will die. I will not live to get her back. The path I must take has been prepared for me. My only choice is to... hm. No, no that wouldn't do at all.

I stand up and adjust my tie. Cost me a fortune in gold to rent this tux, but hell, I'll be going out in style.

I jump out the window. No god damn sunlight where I'm going.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 6)
You find it difficult to relax in a box slightly larger than your body. Your left leg begins to spasm, and you have an incredible itch on your left foot that you cannot reach. You cannot wipe the stale, warm drool from your chin.

This is not a massage parlor, you are not here to relax. You are here to die.

The end.
 
  Brogg:
BA: This is a test. I know it. I relax and fall asleep.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter VI: The Wedding (Moth 2)
You sit at the table, musing about her. You close your eyes and imagine yourself in the chapel, standing up and shouting.

The door to your hotel room opens. Three demons dressed as cops storm in and knock you out before you can respond, just to be safe.

Just to be safe, they torture you in a small dark room. Before killing you- just to be safe. Here name dies on your lips.

The end.
 
  Moth
(The Wedding)

...because I'm about to lose it. I don't mean my mind, I mean her, but sometimes I wonder. She's been all I really think about since we split years ago. What are fucking Sunny days without her? Same as the black nights without her, maybe a little worse because I can't hope sleep will take me.

It really didn't have to go the way it did. He's a dick and this will end badly for both of them. I let it happen. I chose to say nothing and endure these sunny days of madness, letting my desires chase me in circles. And now I'm trying to do "the right thing" by being here, smiling, and giving them a toaster they'll be burning toast in for years to come. Do they even want me here? I know he doesn't... I may have gotten an invitation, but I wasn't really invited. No. That's it. I can voice it all now, but never again. Fuck it, I'm crossing the Rubicon.

I don't even wait for the piest to get to the right part... I stand up and scream "I OBJECT!!!"
 
  The BoBD
Schmektor, each time I say 'The End', it actually means the dream is over and you wake up. Spend the rest of the day tired and ornery, only, being the book addict that you are, you return to it the next night to re-dream.

Get it? One night, one dream, one post, one chance.

...

And thanks, Blogger... word verification is turned off. Much obliged.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 5)
Brighter days... you're wishing for brighter days.

Insanity and death still come.

The end.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 6)
The pain and hurt is too much. You rush downstairs and, just as the door opens, grab your frail father's neck in your hands, and twist until the body stops shaking.

The Mystic nods and moves on, closing the door.

You are still alone.

The end.
 
  Brogg:
BA: I think of better days.
 
  Schmektor:
I run down the stairs and snap my own father's neck right in front of the King's Mystic.

(when you say the end... I just keep throwing shit back at you... is that cool? tell me when you are done with the dreaming schmektor, and I'll stop)
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 5)
Wait you do.

But a son of your own, you'll never have.

Your father is taken away, the other villagers leave.

You are left alone, once again.

Unable to fend for yourself, you die miserably in your locked bedroom.

The end.
 
  Schmektor:
I stand in the middle of the room. I obey my father. I look forward to the day when the knock will come on my own door and my son will weep in his room.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 4)
Hmm. There's no oak chest in your bedroom. Your clothes are all nicely pressed and put away in the closet, so as not to wrinkle or ruffle them.

Neither is there a window in your bedroom. You're scared of heights, and so you live in a small internal room.

You look around for these things, sob, and crawl back under the bed.

Downstairs, they drag your father away.

The end.
 
  FUK U BLOGR
Alright, Blogger word verification is so utterly retarded.

Mark, can you make it go away?

Later: okay, I contacted Blogger and asked them to get rid of it.

My favorite part is when it's like eight letters and you can't tell which ones are caps and which ones lowercase.
 
  Schmektor: (repost from earlier)
The Good Son - part 2

I pick up the oak chest at the foot of my bed and drop it out my window on to the massive guard dog and shout:

"Your Second Sense didn't see that shit coming did it, bitch?!"
 
  Blogger Quit It
Brogg, the Book of Bad Dreams doesn't quite know how to respond to all that.

Tut, so Moth is currently trying the CHA Chapter. And, I guess you started in the castle, so you couldn't know this, but... Castle Greyhelm is actually surrounded by a giant forceshield. There's an army of Knights of Armek trying to get in to kill all the villagers trapped inside, who've been stuck here like you for over a year. So you can hire some messengers, but they can only take your message around the first floor of the castle to the other 50-some villagers. Plus they're all crazy from cabin fever.

Win the module and then you're free to get back to Bat Country.

...

By the way, WTF is going on with the 'word verification' thing... anyone else seeing this? Totally lame, I hate it when Blogger arbitrarily changes shit. Like when they took away the 'post time' feature, which was totally handy for re-arranging posts, like when Tut and I post at the same time.

Blogger: QUIT IT. We like it how it is. Unless you're gonna give us an auto-hp function. Now go away and increase our file upload size.
 
  Brogg:
Yeah, that's fine. Bury me you fools! I waited ten thousand years to see daylight last time. I can wait until some poor soul uncovers me again.

Besides, I brought my Gameboy and five thousand AA's.

Someone's gonna open this box to find one badass Zombie Tetris Master!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
 
  King Tut
I hire some messengers to take the following message to the largest cities in the known world:
"Have come across an artifact of great power. Can provide the chance to raise Dex and/or Cha by 1 point permanently. One shot offer going to the highest bidder. Will listen to all reasonable offers. Prefer cash, +2 magical items (swords, armor, shields), and other items. Am soliciting offers, acceptance does not form a contract." I tell the messengers to focus primarily on the courtly types (princes, princesses, etc.), since they will be most interested in Charisma, and the assassins, who are most interested in Dex, infailably circulate amongst the courtly types.

What do you think guys? Here's a chance to maybe make some extra money and get some gear, for 2 chapters that no one seems to care about.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 4)
Brogg:

 
  Brogg:
BA: Hmm.

^,<,<,X,>,^,<,X,B: Now I am in God Mode.

<,>,A,X,^,^,X,X: I have all weapons.

I drop a Nuke and blast out of this hell hole.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 3)
You push and struggle against the lid, to no avail. It is nailed shut. You imagine, beyond horrors, of being entombed in a coffin, deep underground, sealed in a concrete vault.

Madness and death come, but not too quickly.

The end.
 
  Brogg:
BA: I open the lid of the casket.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 2)
No, no one waits for you. No one cares.

You kill yourself and just die faster, yet messier.

The end.
 
  Brogg:
Buried alive: Huh, I've been burried alive.

Well, there's no getting out of here!

Knowing that Grisbane waits for me, I chew my wrists open and bleed to death.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (Brogg 1)
You open your eyes, but it's still dark.

The darkness overwhelms you, you succumb to madness and despair.

The end.
 
  King Tut
I'll read The Good Son too, with Schmektor.

....
Good Son
I look for a better hiding place than under the bed, that's the first place everyone looks. If I can't find anything good, I'll stand behind the door, so when it opens I good get a good cheap shot in.

I yell downstairs to my dad that I love him and I'll take care of the family.

Then I take a few minutes and see if I can gather any sort of weaponry (even a heavy lamp or something) or armor (maybe wrapping a blanket around my arm).

Then I'll just stay there very quietly like I was told.
 
  Schmektor:
The Good Son - part 2

I pick up the oak chest at the foot of my bed and drop it out my window on to the massive guard dog and shout

"Your Second Sense didn't see that shit coming did it, bitch?!"
 
  Brogg:
Oh hell, I give up the Good Son then and start reading Buried Alive.

My response: I open my eyes.

-Sorry, DFoO, but it's a whole level at stake.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 2)
You steel yourself momentarily, and rush downstairs in a fit, your footsteps pounding on the wood.

Pushing aside your frail father, you reach the bottom as the door itself swings open.

It reveals one of the King's Mystics and his massive guard dog, which begins to bark. The Mystic strikes fear in your heart, and seeing him begins to sap your resolve... a tall, muscle-bound warrior, one of the King's assassins, with black band tied around his eyes. It's said that the mystics use Second Sight to sense the universe.

You stand there shaking. Your father tells you it'll be alright, and to go back upstairs.

You do as you're told.

Your father leaves you. Everyone leaves you.

The end.
 
  Schmektor:
The Good Son

It's the salty taste of the tears that reminds me of the last time... the last time the others kicked the shit out of me. The tears taste like blood in my mouth. I remember the humiliation. I remember the laughing, the name calling and the mocking songs. The seeds of sorrow and fear grow into rage and anger. Vengeance will be mine.

I slide out from under the bed and push away the covers. I unbolt the door and open it. Slowly, methodically, I make my way down the stairs to the door. I push my father away from the opening and stare deep into the eyes of fate.
 
  King Tut
ZOMG
It's fine, I was thinking the chainsaw is too powerful for us right now anyway.

.......

Controllers
Ya I could probably make more controllers. I don't feel like spending the money right now though. Does everyone want to pay 1k for a controller of their own? It's probably a good idea if we are going to take ZOMG with us. Maybe someone will kill him and I can take his chainsaw then.

..............

Golem/Money
Instead of building the golem now, we should save up 50k and double it via the Accounting Secrets book. That way we'd have some money left over.

.........
Loot
The only thing I really want is ZOMGs chainsaw, and money to save up for engineering. If anyone wants the sceptre please let me know (Marivhon/Renwick could use the shield I bet, and TK seems like it might go well with thievery/sneakiness).
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Schmektor 1)
With heavy heart, you head upstairs to your room. Today is the day.

Today is the day that the men come.

You close the door, bolt it like you were told, and hide under the bed, pulling the blankets down low so they can't see you.

Today is the day your father leaves.

You hold back the tears, more in fear of them hearing you than in an attempt to be brave, because you certainly aren't. You're just a big coward. A big sissy. More tears.

From downstairs, a knock on the door... they're here to take him away.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter I: The Good Son (Brogg 1)
With heavy heart, you head upstairs to your room. Today is the day.

Today is the day that the men come.

You close the door, bolt it like you were told, and hide under the bed, pulling the blankets down low so they can't see you.

Today is the day your father leaves.

You hold back the tears, more in fear of them hearing you than in an attempt to be brave, because you certainly aren't. You're just a big coward. A big sissy. More tears.

From downstairs, a knock on the door... they're here to take him away.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter V: Vs (Marivhon 2 COMPLETE)
You take stock of all the weapons and equipment your donkey is loaded down with: a crossbow, a longbow, bolts and arrows, a hatchet, a long knife, a giant two-handed sword, a sling, some rocks, some rope, a morning star, some flaming oil, and a brick.

Then you shrug, and run.

To hell with it. This isn't your fight. To hell with the villagers who sat around while your cousin was raped. To hell with the guardsmen who've trained with weapons like this, weapons they gave you to go to your death with. To hell with them. Let them be the heroes, as you certainly aren't one.

You escape from the ogre and flee the countryside, never to return.

The end.

...

Congratulations, the chapter closes and you wake up refreshed, with +1 CON. (Wow, I really thought that would take a lot longer.) It doesn't actually disappear, but the story materializes in the book. (Anyone can now revisit this chapter if you want, but you won't get any CON from it.) On the front piece, one of six runes appears, and on the very last page, a subtle transformation occurs, and the page changes from white to soft grey.
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (DFoO 3)
Whiskey. What you wouldn't do for a bottle... hell, even a shot... You can taste it.

Alas, the belief of a thing is not quite equal to the existence of a thing, especially when it comes to food and drink. You die of thirst and madness.

The end.
 
  Replies
Wakes up, makes some coffee, reads paper, checks webloWOW. Huh, I guess ZOM-G + BoBD = THERES POSTS IN THEM THAR HILLS.

Gotta type this in Word so when Blogger crashes, I don’t lose my response.

As before, the BoBD posts will be separate entries. Here I’ll respond to all the other stuff.

First- you can clone the ZOM-G controller, so that anyone can have one. Actually, I highly recommend everyone having a controller, because of the rule that whoever has a controller can’t be attacked by ZOM-G.

Second- Brogg, you can actually try the WIS chapter yourself at the same time as DfoO if you want to compete for it. Basically when he falls asleep, you take the book and read the same chapter. So multiple people can be trying chapters each night… however, each person can only do one chapter at a time, obviously. Anyway, okay, see Good Son post above.

Looks like Schmektor is trying Good Son also. See your post above also. See that the beginning is the same. Schmek, go ahead and spend your backlogged proficiencies, it’s cool. Double Spec is the way of the world.

Crown sold, you have enough money for a pretty good clay golem.

Dave FoO, okay, you convert some of the crazy villagers. They start building a giant wicker statue of Wotan.

Thinking about it, Zom’s chainsaw is by far the best item in the known world, so he’s gonna hang on to it for awhile. He thought it’d be funny to be King of Greyhelm, but he likes the idea of having the only weapon that can actually hurt him. (He’s straight up Iron Golem, +3 or better to hit, only with 30 hp instead of 80.) Doesn’t mean he won’t trade in the future if something else comes along. But for right now, Zom doesn’t see anything he likes.

SORRRY 2B A CHAINSAW TEASE

Workshop is yours. Otto hangs out, helping as a trash-eating otyugh can. So while stat pumping (+1 to +2, for instance), is out of your league right now, you probably can do shit like increase base dmg die, make the buzzsaw into a ranged weapon, . Gonna cost you though. Basically, you should propose an idea, with cost (money and extra magic crap), make some checks, and I’ll say Yes, No, or More Money.

Speaking of more money, okay, you take Otto upstairs to help vacuum off the crap from some of the fancy royalty stuff. You make another 10,000 gp (!) in goblets, paintings, and pearl necklaces.

Also Tut, don’t forget that the way the adventure is going, you guys are headed right into the heart of the Knights of Armek land. Meaning that there should be plenty of magic buzzsaws and shit for the grabbing,



Finally, yeah, we’ll hold on Abbey for now. Marivhon, noted- you’re sneaking up behind her.

In sum: guys, make extra controllers, and just try whatever chapters you want. Except for one, as posted above…
 
  Schmektor:
I would LOVE to get my hands on the sword of the king. If no one else wants to arm wrestle me for it, I would love to be able to do more damage on the front line.

Also, Brogg, thanks for the +1 sheild. I am totally up for giving the robe to Renwick. Let me know if you want it Mr. Geisler.

I double spec in long sword (Rob - slap me around and put me in my place, but I think I have some WP's saved up from 1st level and from subsequent levels.. but I am still rusty on all of this shit, so If I cannot do that, let me know).

I'm down with doubling the money. For now, I'll keep my share on my character sheet. I'm all for selling the crown and I have included that in my loot.

Dave, Fist of Odin, I love the idea of a Golem... I think I would pitch in. If no one else has spoken for The Good Son in the BoBD... I start reading.

Damn there has been a lot of posting... I gots to get some internet in the crib... as it stands I am only online at work.
 
  King Tut
EDITED for structure

Reply to DFoo
1. Actually I did, read our earlier posts ("I'll pick up and start examining the controller and ZOMG.").
2. I got a sceptre, which I think Renwick or Marivhon should have, read our earlier posts. You're getting loot, you just used a +1 stat chapter and got a clay golem book. And didn't you just get a +2 mace?
3. Probably true.
4. Probably true. Renwick has high IQ too, and is currently kinda screwed on magic resist mobs.

Anyways, I think ZOMG is too unreliable to actually use, I didn't think we were going to actually keep the controller and him and use them. We could probably make extra controllers since it's a free action and "best roll wins" (which I'm assuming means best result wins).

I just wanted to examine his chainsaw, and I was thinking that with my engineering and other NWPs I could learn some stuff from the controller and him and maybe make robots (but that would probably be pretty far off).

..........
9 Lives:
If I were to get the sword, that's what I'd do, but I'd get some help--like someone who actually Magic Lore, etc. And I want to see if Schmektor wants the sword as is. I think it would be a cool side quest tho.

...........
ZOMG nice "chainsaw" there if you know what I mean wink wink nudge nudge
So, if I were to trade ZOMG for his chainsaw, I could transform it into a buzzsaw and still use my 2x unarmed spec? If so, then that's exactly what I want to do, but I want to wait to hear from Brogg before I actually do it.
EDIT: I just looked at Brogg's sheet, seems like he's got a +2 sword already. So it's probably best for me to get the chainsaw and convert it into a buzzsaw, just have to work out a deal with ZOMG.

So what does ZOMG think? Would he accept the Queen's crown (5k), and the +1 buzzsaw (which I could detach from my armor and give to him to use). He said "a crown is fine too," so I'm guessing that he digs the crown. Actually we could probably give him Schmektor's old cleaver too/instead, depending on what he wants. I don't know if he wants 2 weapons.

.............
Tinkering:
I know adds won't stack (+1+1 != +2) that would be way too powerful. I actually do have quite a few relevant NWPs: armorer, weaponsmith, jeweler, engineering.

.............
Book:
What chapters are left? Dex, Int, and Cha?

..........
Scrounge:
I forget how many levels it's been since I've scrounged Greyhelm, so I'll make 3 checks. Wow 57, 72, and 100. I don't think any of those pass. D6 three times yields 4, 5, 4. Nada. I'll search the Prince and his area some more, seems like we could use some extra cash here.

...........
Workshop:
I'd also like to say hi to Otto and to clean up and start repairing the workshop. I'd like to turn it into Tut's homebase and an area to practice tinkering and hopefully accumulate and make some great stuff over time. I'd like to turn engineering into a major part of Tut's character.
 
  Brogg:
Whoa, that's a lot of posting.

First off, Dave, Fist of Odin. You SCREWED ME!!! You see, earning another Wisdom point allows me to advance another level in Cleric. I am stuck at 5th level until I get another point. I am RETARDED, don't you see?!! -Oh well, no hard feelings.

Schmektor, you get my +1 shield. No one else seems to want it.

I read "The Good Son" chapter. -That will make me crazy buff.

BTW, can we hold off on this Abbey stuff for a moment, until we are all caught up?
 
  Marivhon
I am moving silent and hiding in shadows as we approach the room with abbey in it. Well actually I'm moving somewhat quitely and very hiddenly. I will kind of mosey as best I can up close to her.
 
  Marivhon
Hiking, giant ogre, a club. Me a little man. A donkey. I am well equipped. I yell at the Ogre.
"Hey you!"
I am brave. I have the cities best equipment, but not the skill to use it wisely. What I do have is the desire of a man desperate to live.
"Are you afraid of me? Do you think you're tough because you killed my cousin?"
Seeing the thing, I know I can't beat him in a straight fight.
I run and hope he chases me, and leaves the donkey alone. I have tools on it.
I try and lead the Ogre on a chase.
"yeah you fuckwad..I don't know if you understand my language, but I think you get my tone...."
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Ooops - one more thing.

Cha check? A 2. Yeah!

d10s? 2-3-1-5-10-1-5-6. Yeah!

I don't want any acolytes. I got enough to do without nursemaiding some initiates, and my way is not that of leading a flock. I get them started on what I think makes a good temple - mostly, it's the sitting-around-and-drinking, interspersed with the fighting, and a modicum of finding-cool-shit-out.

Then - they get Go-Time!
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin, Buried Alive
Horror? Mad screaming failure? Death?

Yeah. I've kind of been here before, and my god provides a model for this exact sort of thing. I figure even in death I'm still surrounded by . . . something, and while it might be a dark buried cavern instead of Yggdrassil, it's fine.

I am surrounded by horror, insanity and death. Okay.

It was dark before - so that's unchanged. Okay.

Nothing has changed, except in my mind. Okay.

I'm disconnected from my God so much that I don't have spells. Okay. Odin is nothing if not wanting me to be self-sufficient.

I can't move? So no clobbering. I'm alone? No negotiating. I go down to my last core-competency: The Drinking.

I imagine whiskey. Not a specific instance of whiskey, mind you, but the Platonic Ideal of Whiskey - the ur-Whiskey from which all other Whiskeys spring.

We'll start with that and see how it goes.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I sit here and drink
My hands like cows in the field
There is no morning
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey Tut - four things.

a) I kinda called 'dibs' on the Zom-G controller. As our posts will show! But, that's not as important as:
b) You're getting booty from these fights - all I got was gold. But that's not as important as:
c) in combat, you deal out mad damage, and I'm become caster-support. But that's not as important as:
c) I gots hella Wis for the checks. That's probably the bottom line, here.

You got the skilz, sure, but we're all good here. I'm not going it alone - I'm just saying that Odin's grace guides my button-pushing. Rebuttal?

Oh - Wis check? A 12. Int check? A 2. Yeah buddy!

Anyway. Anyone have 50k for making a golem? Let me know if we get the cash - a 50hp golem might be a fun toy. I kinda doubt that a Chainsaw is the tool for the job against a man made of clay.
 
  Yeah It's A +3 Chainsaw Right There
Okay Tut... I was assuming that you and DFoO were working together on the ZOM-G-C. Unfortunately, Zom himself isn't much of a help.

I DUNNO
U JUS PUSH BUTTONS
ALLS I KNO
TEH MINDFLAYR BITCHED ALOT
HE WAS LIEK "THIS THING SUX DOSENT WORK"
HE ONCE HURLED IT AT A WALL
BOUNCED OFF AN HIT HIM BACK IN THE HEAD LOL
GOOD LUCK BUDDY

...

Zom's chainsaw is a +3 Chainsaw that does an extra d12 damage when powered up. So it's basically the best weapon in the party. You want to use it, you gotta kill an 'undestructable' golem. Or just use it indirectly via the controller. Or trade him something of great value.

Rules for the controller that you discern are listed below. It's simple, there's a secret chart, you roll EITHER IQ or WIS, then percentile, and something happens. If you want to make extra controllers, multiple people can use them each round, best roll wins. Counts as your potion free action. It's pretty easy, basically you just post telling me what you want Zom to do, post some blogrolls, and see what happens while you take your normal rounds.

As for weapon upgrading... you gotta take Weaponsmithing first of all as an NWP if you haven't already. Second, since you're not a caster, there's no way to change any weapon's powers. What you can do is basically change one weapon into another, or do grafts. So you could turn the +2 NLS Greyhelm Sword into a +2 NLS Buzzsaw. But adds don't stack, e.g., taking a +1 weapon and another +1 weapon won't make a +2 weapon. By 'graft' I mean take the Queen's sceptre and make its powers part of your buzzsaw.

Doing much more than this is going to take even more NWPs, better facilities, and collaboration with a spellcaster, demon, or a special book or something.

Tut, if you really want to try extracting the souls from the Greyhelm Sword- a dangerous proposition- give me a Magic Lore check, a Weaponsmithing check, and a straight IQ check. If you don't got the skills, you can sub in IQ. Be careful though... this is serious shit here.
 
  King Tut
[EDITED: Wow the DM and I really seem to be in a weird posting time warp lately].

Ok, this really is a posting frenzy here...

I take the ZOMG controller (added to my char sheet). Do my tinkering skills help me figure out how to use it at all? Does ZOMG have any suggestions? I'll practice for a bit in the already ruined workshop.

I'd really like to have the chainsaw ID'd, because there's no point in trading for it if we have no clue what it does.

Tut's got plenty of magic items, and cash, to upgrade the buzzsaw with, I just don't know what the results will be. For example, I could try to upgrade it with the 9 Lives Stealer, the Queen's Scepter, or pretty much any other item that's floating around. I just want to know in advance which item will yeild what so I know what to tinker with (e.g. if one item doesn't yield any appreciable benefit, I wouldn't use it). I'm most interested in what would happen with the +2 9 Lives stealer, since no one else seems to be interested in it. But, I read about it online and I don't really like the idea of an evil sword...I'd want to get the 2 souls currently inside remove, and try to turn the sword into a good, happy sword before I integrate it into the buzzsaw. Maybe Schmektor would like it just the way it is.

Also, I totally agree with Marivhon, we should save up 50k and double it via the book.

If Brogg already has broadsword spec'd out, it would make more sense for him to keep the chainsaw if we get it.

I'll post some more tomrrow, it's late and I should have gone to bed 2 hours ago.
 
  So It Goes
The chapter comes to a sudden close. Heh. Better luck next time.

...

Okay, nope, no more potions to be found in mini-Greyhelm. And there's no escape from the castle due to the shield around it (remember?).

So any potential followers of Odin are limited to the crazy townsfolk of mini-Greyhelm. Make a CHA check, you can convert one townsperson per point you make it by. For each one, you can roll a d10... on a 1, he's a fresh 1st level priest and will be yer acolyte.

Admin password. Hmm, there's a lot to see and do in the admin side of the system. Yeah, it looks like Vrill wrote a bunch of the entries you read, but he was a late-comer to the game. Vrill wrote your entry and his own, obviously, apparently just prior to dying last time. Aside from the four admins, though, there's no other usage logged. However, note that you're using Meeks' pw, so all your changes (if any) register as Meeks.

Speaking of, okay Brogg, nice entry on yerself. Fixed.

So... ZOM-G's working, of course... it's just that trying to get him to do things with the controller is tricky. And if it was tricky for the Mindflayer... I'm gonna want some INT checks. Actually, you guys have time, and Tut's got some engineering now I think. So here's the ZOM-G deal.

With the controller, he's basically a Wand of Wonder. The controller is pretty damn random. There's tons of commands, to make him fight, say weird stuff, go left, &c, but mostly he just stands around unless given a command (through the controller). You can't make him attack the wielder of the controller, nor can you make him give up his chainsaw, or kill himself. But just about anything else you can try for. You gotta roll either (your choice) INT or WIS, plus roll d%100. Or just leave it to chance.

If you want, with successful engineering checks and 1000 gp per attempt, you can make bonus controllers if others want to try it out.

Finally, okay, if you want to make a clay golem, you've got time. You just gotta spend 1000 gp per hp you want the golem to have, minimum 1, max 50.

Think that should do it...
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (DFoO 2)
You cannot cast, your god is not with you here.

You cannot make a light, you have nothing to burn.

You feel around... feeling the hard wood that completely, closely surrounds you. It is cool to the touch.

The utter failure, the horror of the situation sets in. You begin to scream- a muffled, damped sound. You go hoarse, then mad, then finally, mercifully die.

The end.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Before we get to Abbey, I have a few things I want to do.

First off - all right, I'm cool with the gear I've got. I'd like to find some more potions, though, if such are to be found.

I'd like to see if I can contact any other priests of Odin - get some buzz out, make things happen. Someone who wants to be a stay-at-home Odin guy - maybe, like, the wisdom of Odin, or something? I'm not going to go on a quest here or anything, just ask around when I go drinking. Maybe get some buzz going, too. Being a high priest is hard.

I'd like to use our admin password to see who else has been accessing/editing the computer system. Who wrote the entry on me? Who wrote the entry on Vrill?

And - I want to try and get Zom-G's controller working. My resources? The computer system, the thinkers in the party (although they'll be mostly busy training), and Zom-G himself. Do a lot of trial-n-error stuff, and see what's what.

Hey yeah - that's the treasure I want. The controller wristband. I think this guy's a straight G, he's got fly rhyme stylz, and the skilz to pay the bilz. My bills are generally paid out in pain and clobbering, with the occasional rhyme, so there's a lot of confluence here. And I got no problem with robots - Odin's grace envelops us all, especially those of us who are:

a) good at clobbering
b) have some freaky skilz with words
c) willing to accept a limited amount of free will.

That sums up MY relationship with my diety - with the addition of the drinking, but I'm not sure Zom-G is into that.

Oh - I also want the manual of golems. How long does training take for y'all? If I have extra time, I want to learn to make a golem - but if I have to choose between Zom-G and a new golem friend, I'll take the guy we know.

If I do make a golem, though, its name will be Eblis O'Shaugnessy.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin, Buried Alive
I make a light and am wary of grues. Light spell, probably. Or a torch. Do I feel/see anything nearby, without moving?
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter VI: The Wedding (Moth 1)
Why is it on always the brightest of days, that you feel your worst?
 
  The Return Of Abbey
Oops, sorry, forgot to mention one thing you get from J-Ro. A third piece of ripped paper. Put all three scraps together, and you get a picture of a crown with the word GREYHELM written in fancy calligraphy. Actually, the handwriting and picture is vaguely similar to that you've seen elsewhere... Just what they mean though, is still unclear.

I'm not sure what the actual GP totals are, as it's not clear to me if you sold the Crown of Greyhelm (the King's Crown) or not. You can vote if you want.

I think that before selling it, you all get an additional 1428 gp.

Plus there's Brogg's +1 Shield if anyone wants it.

...

Hmm, interesting. A 1st level ID isn't going to tell you who the three souls are already in Erasmus. Maybe a Contact Other Plane. The Pretty Good Spells spellbook can be used as one-shot scrolls if you're desperate.

As for info on the KoA, well, you have a couple sources you can ask now, although it's hard to get really useful info out of them (e.g., the terminals, ZOM-G). Maybe we should just advance the plot here a little bit, and you'll get a third source...

So remember everyone: TRAIN. Take your new levels, skills, and hps. You're gonna need them, especially with the potion supply getting low.

Training will take a bunch of time, so feel free to use the BoBD and we can retcon the new ability scores, in the off-chance you actually figure any of it out.

...

Afterwards though, everything finished, you head up to the Solar Observatory just to have a look.

You take the elevator up all the way... a long long way past the Library. Finally, it opens into radiant sunlight.

You're blinded for a moment, and then step into a large, single room. It contains all of three things: a massive telescope, an ornate yet gray mirror, and a small computer next to it.

Actually, four things. Standing before the 'scope is Abbey, Vrill's creepy daughter.

"Hmm. Took your time."
 
  Moth
So what's the total on all the loot we got? I still need to add stuff to my char sheet...

As I recall, stuff we've found recently:

The Prince's Stuff:
Ruby Ring- I think someone took this...
Gems- 3 of them? I think I still have one.
Chess Piece- Tut has it.
Piece of Paper with Pointy Design- I still have it.

The Queen's Stuff-
Crown and Scepter- Tut's got it.

King's Stuff:
Wraithhand- Anyone else want this? I wouldn't mind having it, but I like Rupert's sword and this thing would probably be more effective for Schmektor or Brogg.

So I'll be adding spiky paper pieces and as many gems as other people didn't take, along with the books of Pretty Good Spells and Clay, respectively. Any objections? Anyone want the Book of Clay?

Ok... I combine the pieces of paper with the spiky designs. What do I see?

We need to discuss this whole KoA thing. What else have you guys seen pertaining to these guys and their origin? Sounds like ZOM-G is saying that some mage built them in a vain attempt to win his truelove or something. Might that be the guy Vrill is fighting? Without a doubt, I'd wager.

I want to increase my Charisma. Anyone else have desperate need of "The Wedding"? It sounds daunting, but with my companions' leave, I will tackle it when Marivhon is done with the book.

Any way to find out who's lives are trapped in the WraithHand?
 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter III: Buried Alive (DFoO 1)
It is dark.
 
  MOAR PLZ
ZOM-G looks at the +1 Mace, and looks back at his Chainsaw.

SRSLY?
NO THX
CHAINSAW KICKS ASS
GOT VTEC SEE?
MACES LIKE 4 THA WINGMAN
MOAR PLZ

He also looks with some interest at the ZOM-G Controller.

HUH
YEH THATS ME
THAT BOX
IM A ROBOT
DIDNT U GET THE MEMO?
ANYWAY I CANT USE IT
ITS RULE 53
CARS CANT DRIVETHMSLVES U KNO?
ROBOTS R TH SAME
BESIDES
ID JUST B LIEK FAPFAPFAPFAP
LOL J/K

Finally, you ask him about helping you guys get Vrill.

THATS A WIN
I COULD DO THT
I MEAN LOOK AT MY CHAR SHEET
WHT I GOT
I GOT A CHAINSAW
IM NOT LIEK AN HERO
IM NOT LIKE A WIZZRD
OR A PRESIDNET
I DONT GOT FLINT N TINDR FOR MAKIN FIRES
I DONT GOT BOOKS N THINGS
I JUST GOT A FUKKEN WEAPON
I GOTTA RIP SHT UP U KNO?
IM NOT LIIKE A 1ST LVL ELF
NAMED POTATOS
FROM MEXICO
IM KOA
IM FROM A MAGIC LAND
I PUT THE HURT ON
CHARGIN IT UP
BITCHES DONT KNOW MY RIGID METAL GRILL STRUCTRE
U GOTTA PRESS THE BUTTONS THO
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I've got an extra +1 mace. Anyone want it? Give it to Zom-G for a chainsaw? Let me know.

Hey Brogg - I'm-a gonna read the chapter 'Buried Alive' for the WS bonus, a-ight?

Hey - maybe we could give Zom-G his bracelet? See what's up with him, ask if he wants to come gank Vrill with us? Or figure out how to use the thing? I dunno. Seems like Zom-G's a straight-G, is what I'm saying.
 
  A Crown Is Fine Too
Tut, ZOM-G shrugs, when you ask him about trading magic items.

I DUNNO LOL
WHAT U GOT??
A CROWN IS FINE TOO LOL



I recall that the previous chainsaw counted as 'Broadsword' for purposes of proficiency, but that Brogg also had to spend either a NWP or WP for 'Exotic Weapons' to avoid a -2 penalty.

 
  Book Of Bad Dreams: Chapter V: Vs (Marivhon 1)
It is the end of a long, gloomy day. You’ve traveled since dawn in the rain, into the foothills, across barren wastes, finally to reach the cave. You and your faithful donkey. Your fate waits just within.

For months, the ogre Nysthes has been assaulting your village. At first, it was stealing livestock. Then robbing peasants. But with the rape and murder of Marissa, your beloved cousin- something had to be done.

You are neither the oldest, nor strongest, nor bravest. It was simply that you chose the shortest straw last week. They cheered you, they’ve equipped you, and wished you the best. Now here you stand, at Nysthes’ lair.

The donkey is laden with supplies and implements of destruction. Good thing too, as through the rain and coming darkness, you see the massive ogre come out of the cave, brandishing a gigantic club.
 
  Marivhon
Schemktor should maybe give his robe to renwick, help the guy out you know. I can't find the chainsword on anyones character sheet. Tut does have the accounting books which let us double our money once so lets try to hold on to our cash kids. we should have about 40k in the party right now. The max we can use with the book is 50k. We should try to get that 50k and use it in Grito.
 
  King Tut
Ok, I have a couple magic items that I could trade him for the chainsaw. What are its properties? I also have enough profs left to 2x spec chainsaw (is that what it would be? seems kind of silly to burn specs on such a rare item. Or would it be long sword or bastard sword or something?
 
  Marivhon
I read the chapter titled "vs".
 
9.20.2006
  King Tut
We already have a magical chainsaw? I have the buzzsaw +1, is that what you are thinking of?
 
  The Book Of Bad Dreams
Obviously, Tut's post should've come before my previous post, hence the asking ZOM-G about the Knights of Armek. This kinda thing happens more often with lots of posters. TIME PARADOX

So yes, the Sword of Greyhelm is a +2 Longsword with a kick-ass special power.

Tut, on the one hand, ZOM-G would give up his chainsaw if you could provide him with a great magic item. On the other hand, it's a chainsaw, not a buzzsaw, so it's totally incompatible with your Unarmed Combat Spec. You'd be non-proficient.

And yeah, you guys have a chainsaw from the first KoA you took down, in the mirror world. I think Brogg has it?

...

The Book of Bad Dreams is something special. After thorough ID, let me tell you a bit about it. You can also get some of this info if you I BOBD in the Literature Terminal.

The Book of Bad Dreams is an artifact. It has six chapters, and each is a small story. However, once you start to read it, you'll fall asleep almost immediately and enter a dream world. Alone in the Land of Nightmares, you have to escape or you'll die. Not really die, just wake up in a sweat and get no rest that night. You can try to escape from a chapter later if you want.

The book is, oddly enough, a self-help guide, i.e., the goal of the book is to make you a better person by facing your fears, i.e., by raising your stats. Each chapter raises one stat permanently +1, then becomes forever blank. The book has never been used, hence it's got all six chapters. First person to solve a chapter, gets the stat bonus, then it's useless. The chapters and their attributes are:

I: The Good Son (STR)
II: The Haunting of Danvers Abbey (INT)
III: Buried Alive (WIS)
IV: The Thing Under the Bed (DEX)
V: Vs. (CON)
VI: The Wedding (CHA)

As this is essentially a 'side-quest', expect no help or advice from me in escaping, or figuring out any more than has already been mentioned. You don't even have to fuck around with this thing if you don't want to. No guarantees as to ease, fairness, or arbitrariness. You've been warned.
 
  Brogg:
Alright, here it is, straight up d6, BR:6.

The +2 Nine Lives Stealer is a longsword. Schmektor? Moth? Tut?

I'm going to nab that PFE shield (what does it do?), and put my +1 shield in the pool. Rob, I am now AC:1.

Cool?

Everyone add 4285gp more to their sheet.
 
  Marivhon
if the book of bad dreams is magic then I want to get it identified. If it's not then well I start reading.

I add the cash but I don't want anything else we have found.
 
  King Tut
So he appears to be a sentient robot/construct?

Can I remove his buzzsaw or is it attached to him? I'm getting a little tired of his attitude. He's nothing but loot and a mystery now. "ZOMG, can you explain, perhaps in rhyme, why the KoA's came here and what their history is?"

Schmektor "We have, at a minimum, a +1 khopesh sword that we found on the automatons awhile ago. That's a least a start until the King's Sword is allocated."

I really want that buzzsaw. If it is not detachable, how complicated would it be to build one/upgrade mine, since I can study and examine this on?

I'd like the shield too, but everyone should get something useful, so let's figure it all out.
 
  Cash Money
Thanks for splitting the $ Brogg... gotta remember to give treasure in nicely divisible numbers.

The sword... huh. Well next poster, or whoever remembers... roll a d6:
1-2: Bastard sword
3-4: Broadsword
5-6: Long sword

There you have it. It's a +2 Nine Lives Stealer, already gots 3 lives inside.

The Shield is +2 Shield of PFEs.

The crown is a magic item. It's cursed, whoever wears it becomes King of Greyhelm and gets the Greyhelm family curse. 30,000 gp. BONUS.

...

ZOM-G's Chainsaw is stand-alone, but he's unwilling to part with it. You guys already have a chainsaw somewhere in the pary. Not a buzzsaw, full on tricked-out chainsaw. If you want the chainsaw, you gotta kill ZOM-G.

Tut, what are you going to upgrade your magic buzzsaw with? You gotta have magic to get magic, here.

ZOM-G will tell you a bit about the KoA:

YEH
THATS ME
KOA
REALLY RMC
READ MY HELMT K?
IT SEZ 'RMC'
THATS SOME CROATIAN DOOD
HE MADE US
MADE ME
...
IM PHASE II
KICKIN IT
...
WE COME FROM A WORLD YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND
ITS A MAGIC LAND PAST THE MIRROR U KNO?
IT SUX
HELLA SUX
NO LOLI
DO NOT WANT
...
SO HE DIED
THERES OTHERS TOO
ALL DEAD
"I SEE DED PEOPLE" LOL
BIG FUKKEN TOOMB
THATS THE LAND
SUX HUH?
YES IT DOES
...
HE WAS SAD OR SOMETING
TRYD TO GET W/ THS CHICK
BUT SHE WAS LIEK "NO WAI"
SO HE BECAME AN HERO
I THINK
OR MAYBE JUST DIED
HE WAS OLD
SOME OLD FAG
TOTAL WIZZARD
SPELLS ETC
SPELLCASTER
MAGIC-USER
TOTAL PEDO
THAT KIND
...
HE WAS ALL HOT 4 HER
BUT SHE RAN AWAY
CUZ HE SUX
N HE WAS LIKE "NOPE"
SO HE MADE US
GO FIND THAT BITCH
WELLL
IT FAILD
100%FAILGET
WE JUST WER LIKE
"THS BLWS"
ALL WE GOT
IS BIG SAWZ
SO LETS ROCK
...
SO WE DID
HERE WE R
U KNO?
ANYWAI THRE U GO
K THX
 
  Brogg:
Ok, how much cash for the crown of Greyhelm? Assuming it's not magical. -Then we might keep it.

What kind of sword is the WraithHand Erasmus? We Identify it an the shield Jacintha.

I'd love one of them, but I only want the sword if it's a broadsword. I will give up my magic sword or shield in the trade.

Everyone add 1428gp to your sheet. -That's the cash divied up.

I change the BROGG listing:

Brogg: Handsome half-orc Champion of Grisbane. Resident of Shady Orchards in Grito. Has completed countless perilous quests in the name of Grisbane. Cold Cuts bronze medal holder.
 
  Jonnie From The Block
ADMIN 12345678 gets you in to Master Meeks account. Go ahead and ADD/EDIT/DELETE listings on any terminal.

Schmektor, there's beaucoup magic weapons in the party. Shit, you guys just got the sword of the King of Greyhelm, unless you just left it up there with poor old J-Ro.

As for weapon proficiencies, you get a new one every other level (2nd, 4th, &c). NWPs you get every 4th level (4th, 8th, &c). As a fighter, if you put two WPs towards a single weapon, you get Specialization: that's extra attacks, +1 hit, +2 on dmg. Three WPs total towards a single weapon gives you +3/+3. Spec in bow is a little different, you can only get single spec (although it might take three WPs? I forget), you get +2 on dmg and do double damage at 30' or less range.

Everyone else feel free to add to or correct this.

...

ZOM-G is just hanging out in town kinda bored.



He looks at Brogg.

> HAY THERE

> HUH

> SO

> WHT R U?

> RU A FURRY?









> DO U HAVE WOOD
4 THS SHEEP?
 
  Schmektor:
On the main terminal I try typing:

ADMIN

when prompted for a password I try:

12345678 -if that doesn't work, I try 87654321. If still no love I try greyhelm12345678 then greyhelm87654321. If still no luck I try gre12345678 and gre987654321.

Also - a few housekeeping questions... I have yet to figure out proficiencies and specialization. How many WP's does it take to make up a Spec? Double Spec? Can I do any of this retroactively?

As a side note, Does anyone have any second-hand magical weapons they would part with? The Cleaver is great... and will always hold a special place in my heart.. but I may be looking for something a little more dangerous.
 
  ZOM-G Controller
Okay, Blogger better.

Tut, none of those passwords work.

As for the controller, well it's pretty darn complicated. There are about 100 buttons, all the size of a chicklet or smaller, and they seem to randomly turn on and off.

As for ZOM-G... is there a person in there? That's a deep philosophical question I guess. If you knock on his armor, it sounds pretty solid. There's no eyeholes, or skin holes or ventilation of any sort. If you try to take his helmet off he says

HAY WTF
THATS MY HELMT
OUCH

U DONT SEE ME TOUCHIN YR HEAD
SO WHT U DOIN W/MINE??

The helmet doesn't budge, although it does wobble around a bit. Your professional estimate is that ZOM-G is a golem, robot, automaton, or something like that, especially given what you and the other PCs know about the KoA.
 
  King Tut
Yes blogger is having lots of problems.

I'll pick up and start examining the controller and ZOMG. What's the deal? Is there a person in the armor? What controls are there?

I'll also trty to login as meeks12345678 and mastermeeks12345678 and master12345678, in various caps.
 
  BLOGGER FREAKY
Blogger freaky. Let's see what happens. Longer post to come later when I've got more time.

Brogg kills Mindflayer dead. Much rejoicing. (Great pictures.)

Falls over. ZOM-G looks at the ZOM-G Controller and stands around. Scratches his helmet.

John Romeo and Renwick stumbling around, brains fried. You can take JR's shield, sword, golden key, and the Crown of Greyhelm if you want. That means you can have all four books from the Library, very nice.

Searching, you also find 10,000 gp and a book the Mindflayer was looking at in a back room. It's supposedly the journal of Master Meeks, but declines into a series of childish drawings of things macabre, not unlke what's here in the castle and the top floors. At the very back is a sequence of numbers: 12345678. Huh.

...

So that's that. You return to mini-Greyhelm to rest and train. No more potions to buy. Here's the levels for who:

Moth: 4th/4th/5th FTR/MAGE/THIEF (one level in each)
-Note that this gives you two more WPs (FTR and THIEF), although only one of those could be put towards Spec. Also, 5th Thief gives you x3 backstab.
Renwick: 7th MAGE (4th circle spells)
Schmektor: 6th FTR (another WP)
Tut: 6th BUSHI (another WP)

Take your special training for free and be done with it. Enjoy it while you can.

Not sure if you've trained up already Brogg but you should be 6 FTR, 5 CLERIC (because of your WIS you're locked but still gaining xp).

Dave FoO and Marivhon, you guys had a long way to go from present to next level. Beat Vrill and the mirror world, though, and the levels (8 CLERIC, 7 MONK) will be yours.

Only a little remains... the rest of the Gardens, the Museum, or more terminal fun. Take care of all your business before heading up to the Solarium, people. You've been warned.
 
  King Tut
 
  King Tut
 
  Schmektor:
If Brogg didn't just finish him off, I spent the three rounds as follows:

Round 1: Psionic blasted - rolled a 1. I do nothing.
Round 2: Psionic blasted - rolled a 2. Attack a friend BR 12
Round 3: Psionic blasted - rolled a 3. Attack a Foe. BR 16. IF I am allowed to hit the flayer, I do 3pts.
 
  Brogg:
















Taste the Wrath of Grisbane, Squidhead!!! BR:12. Yes! 13 points!
 
  Decisions
Dave FoO coming through in a pinch... but 10 hp is just barely not enough.

If Brogg, Schmek, or Renwick can manage to get the last 4 hp of this guy, combat's over.

Of course, Tut, the Ghoulmaster Ring might just work also...
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
So - yeah. Long time clobberer, first time . . .

Ah, fuck it. Being the high priest of Odin on top of everything else is starting to get to me. All of a sudden, I fel the weight of the world upon me - my obligations and responsibilities press me down, grind me smooth, and leave me unwilling - or perhaps, unable - to compose another jaunty lingustic offering in the 'rap' style that the kids seem to favor.

But I'm not too tired to clobber! BR 15 hits AC -1. BR 6 does 10 points damage.

Well, maybe I can come up with some freaky stylz after all....

Awww . . . . DAMN!
It's the Fist of Odin!
And he's got a mace for you
Like the juice to the gin!

Yo BF - does that stand for 'I'm Gay'?
Yo, whatever dude. We killz ya, 'cuz that's our way
Reap your tentacles like hay, on the floor's where you stay
Get our pay, upright tray, locked position you say?
Where's you base? Belong to us, set up the bomb today
No way, it's gone gray - and hey ZOM-G, is that a Cray?
I'll just break off his wrist there to have a look-saay
MF don't mind - that's his way - and who made him pay?

I say: who made him pay?

Itttssss . . .. . Dave!

Fist of Odin!

(Who he say? Fist of Odin!)


And my way is to say that today . . ..

SQUISH!
(That last part, of course, is my mace making sure the Illithid fucker's dead. All his brain belong to us!)

Fist of Odin!
 
  King Tut
"ZOMG, the next caller is most definitely here. If you help us kill the mind flayer, we'll set you free. You can hang out in this castle, Otto's fixing it up, or you can go wherever you want. But as long as he's got that computer, you'll always be his slave. Or, in rap lingo, his lil bitch. You like him saying 'jump' and you say 'how high?'"


Other than that, where are we on the rounds? He has one more round to get to my brain, and then one more to eat it? Or he is at my brain, and will eat it at his init next round. I feel like I lost a round there somewhere but I'm not sure if I'm behind or not.

By the way, can he eat my brain if I'm undead? For example, if I put the Ghoulmaster ring on, will that defeat his plan? I'd stop leveling though, which would make it kind of pointless I guess.
 
  ZOM-G Maded A Funny
Tut, you raise some good issues. Hell no you don't get a free attack, but you buzzsaw the hell outta the Mindflayer there. He's into his monkeys. And the ZOM-G Controller thing, well it kinda helped. Helped Moth that is, not you. You seem to have jammed it though, as ZOM-G's just hanging out watching your party struggle against the motionless Mindflayer.

Moth and Marivhon, you ain't helpin' Tut.


ZOM-G looks at your feeble attacks.


K THX
NICE WORK GUYS
U FAIL



NEXT CALLR R U THRE?
 
  Moth
Ok... so is the KoA no longer trying to kill me? If so, I pull out my golden sword and come to the aid of King Tut by swinging at the Mind Flayer.

BR 5 is doubtless not going to cut it. Oy.

From the heart of hell
I stab at thy squiddy heart
Your hit points are low.

If Robo-Z is still coming at me, I'm going to try some fancy break-dancing shit in order to avoid him. Aid me, spirit of Marvin Mews! BR 2 should do it, if this is DEX based.
 
  King Tut
Ok, if the keypad thing doesn't go anywhere, I'll buzzsaw him.

Can I get some kind of bonus for chainsawing his face and/or tentacles? I mean it's right there in front of me. Haha you aren't going to believe this, I just rolled to see if I would hit and I was going to argue for a huge + to hit if I missed, and instead I roll the natural 20. That's right, BR: 20. For dmg, I get 4+4 = 8 * 2 = 16 pts of dmg. I'd also like to argue for a +dmg modifier, applied pre-multiple (naturaly!). I'll leave the rest in the DM's hands, and those of my fellow spelunkers.

Just in case the ruling is that I get a 2nd attack instead of +hit or +dmg, I BR 17, for 1+4 = 5 pts of dmg.


So to conclude:
I do 16 pts for sure, and if I get an extra attack due to his proximity and lack of defense, I get a hit for 5 pts.

Wait I just remembered, you said I can't attack. That seems weird, with the buzzsaw I don't have to dance around or swing or anything, I just stick my arm straight out in front of me...in fact, since he's standing right there (and in fact pulling himself towards me) I should do a hell of a lot more damage with a chainsaw. I could see being unable to attack with blunt weapons, since you need to generate momentum, but standing stationary against a buzzsaw is about the worst possible defense I can think of. If I can move my arm enough to fiddle with the control pad, I can move it enough to put the buzzsaw into the mind flayer's body/face/tentacles.

Thoughts/rulings?
 
9.19.2006
  Marivhon
Do I see a way up to the next level?
I attack on round 4 hit ac 5 and 6. good luck tut.
 
  1 Round Left
So Marv can do monk dmg but not monk stuns with the halberd, anyway the Mindflayer is a monster not a humanoid so I think it's different. NO STUNZ.

But you guys are dishing out the damage. The Mindflayer isn't looking pleased. Can you save Tut in the final round???!!! The skeleton army by the way was massive. Three hits and a crit bringing in 19 more hp dmg.

Okay Tut and Dave FoO, you guys fuck around with the Mindflayer's ZOM-G Controller. This makes him mad. You guys have a little keypad battle.

ZOM-G starts acting kind of weird and says some stuff you can't quite make out while he's chasing Moth around. Stuff like:

WTF LEAVE IT ALONE
U TAPPIN MY BRAIN
IM ZOMG LOL
U FAIL
QUIT IT FAG
SRSLY WHHAT U DOIN
HEADACRE

Finally, he's about to swing on Moth, when something short-circuits.

J/K NICE 1 HUH

Then the Mindflayer seizes control again, and makes the Knight use his Fighter level ability and kill all the skeletons in a single fuckin' round, because 19 hp is more deadly than two Magic Missiles, no offense Moth.

One round left to seal it. Bring it.

Apparently Renwick fails the psionic blast and lightning bolts hisself. "Yelp!" you hear him cry.

GOOD1 HARRY POTTR U SUCK says Zom.

...

By the way, it's not that it takes the Mindflayer 3 rounds to EAT Tut's brain. It takes him 3 rounds to get TO Tut's brain, at which point he consumes it in a single round.

No, no mirror here. Remember, you ain't on the top floor.. you're on Level 9 of 10 actually. Sorry for misposting earlier, but it's all in the big list I gave Tut a while back.
 
  Marivhon
ok I miss move silent and totally make hide in shadows, it sounds like it's kinda loud in here so maybe thats ok. I try to get a shot in on the Mindflayer

round 1 hit ac 4.
round 2 I make my save unless it's a breath weapon psionic blast.
I also will hit him (nat 20) for 26 points of damage with my halberd. I hit ac 6 with my second attack which was an attempted kick to the side of the head.
round 3 I use my halberd to jump up a bit in the air and drop to do an axe kick on the top of the mind flayers head to dislodge him from tut. Well I don't hit tut or the bad guy with a 3.
let's see how things are going for round 4.

So do I see a mirror here?
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin:
BR 13 saves.

Hey - I've got a a question. Does MR affect gear the critter's wearing? Here's the thing - I want to get that computer off the Mind Flayer. Option one is to cast Dispel, but if there's ony a 5% chance - forget it. If I can do a targeted dispel on the computer though - ignore the stuff below; that's what I do.

Option two is just to smash it, but I suspect that won't work well, either.

It seems like Moth's keeping the KoA busy for a little bit:

Zom-G the robot
Where did you get a mother?
From the Quik-E mart?

Not so much of a rap this time as a little bit of Haiku. Quik-E mart's natural, right?

Anyway. I kinda look over at Marivhon, and go for option three. I want to go up to the Mind Flayer and fuck with his shit - maybe grab him, or push him over - help Marivhon stun the guy, or grab the wrist computer thing, or whatever. I figure, I'm kind of a big guy, good at clobbering, not so good at trixy fightin' moves. Monks are good at that stuff, though - so there it is!

Do you need some rolls here?

To hit: BR 18. That hits AC -2 for me, with no bonuses.
ST? 13. Makes it.
DX? 4. Makes it.
And . . . what, maybe an IN or a WS to try and get the MF into position? BR 8 - makes either one.

Hey Squiddo
You a bad MF
But I'm here representin'
Your horrible death

You might think you got us pwnnd
You might think our brains uncovered
But I gotsta tell you suxxord
Here, you facin' you death

Now that Zom-G
He's hella Nas-T
Mom from the Quik-E
But he ain't gonna win
Just watch the T-V
And you gonna C-ME
An all my POSS-E
Gots the malicious Grin
Your death be GOR-E
And Hella BLUD-E
Cuz we gots THE-KEY
Gonna cut throgh your skin
We rock your BOD-E
And get all SCAR-E
Break you motherfuckIN-KNEE
From Dave, Fist of O-DIN!
(who he say? Fist of Odin!)
And all WE make you SEE
That you lose when we win!
 
  King Tut
Well, for my round (while he's attempting to munch towards my brain) I'll just smush all the keys on his wrist computer over and over. Like just run the pad of my thumb over the keys, back and forth, over and over again.
 
  Brogg:
Stop eating King Tut's brain!!!

Two attacks! BRs:3,13. One hit for 12.

It is interesting that King Tut only feels the ill effects of having his brain munched in the final round.

I command my Undead Legion to assist me.
 
  3 To 2
Moth and Brogg, well done. Saves made. Moth, you only gotta make one save. That could've been rough, if everyone was confused while Tut's brain was munched.

Okay Brogg, you smack up the Mindflayer good. Sure, he's just sitting there mano y mano with Tut, but he's in full KoA armor! Still, dmg is dmg, and he bleeds, so you know what that means.

Tut, sorry, that's not how 1E works. The Mindflayer hits you, rolls a d4, and that's when he eats your brain. That's not very fair, but Mindflayers got all the angles.

Okay, you take a look at his computer. Actually he's pretty good at multitasking, so while he's trying to eat your brain, he tries to push some more buttons on it. Imagine a Blackberry, but with three times the keys, all really small and featureless. Every now and then some of them blink off and on and lots of text is dumped to the screen. The text is pretty meaningless.

The Mindflayer is kind of muttering to himself, but it's tough to make out. Besides, he's sort of talking with his mouth full. Looks at ZOM-G running after Moth and rolls his eyes, tries a few button combos, then says "Oh nevermind, I'm sure that'll work out just fine."

Moth, sweet dance moves vs. chainsaw is tough odds... You have init, so whatever you can pull outta your ass, now's the time for it.

Anything else? Or does Tut go brainless in 2 rounds now?
 
  Moth
How many saves do we have to make?

Here are two: BRs 20 and 17. I think I resist the Mind Flayer.

I hope my sweet dance moves are enough to keep that crazy robot from killing me.

Dex Check: BR 6.

As for the magic missiles... damn, I forgot MFs had SR. Here goes nothing...

BR 56 (and BR 61, if the second missile gets its own check.). No dice. I am out of attack spells.
 
  Brogg:
I try not to go insane, BR:20. Hmm... BR has been kicking out the 20's lately.

Anyway, with my sanity completely intact, I attack the Mind Flayer.

Hey Squidface! Lay off KT! BR:9. That hits AC:0 with DFoO's Aid. Take 10 Points, Octowussy!
 
  King Tut
Ok, I want to get a look at his wrist computer then. Don't I get like a strength or dex check or anything? He just automatically locks me down for brain eating (despite my spiked plate helmet?)?

What can I see about the wrist computer regarding the buttons.

Guys, I don't think there's any point in attacking the KoA. He seems to at least have some significant damage reduction abilities. I think we take the soft target, the Mind Flayer, out and then deal with the KoA.

Marivhon: Why don't you stun this fool? He should have some huge penalty to AC since he's just sitting here trying to eat my brain. In fact, he's as easy to hit as a sitting mind flayer...you guys ever heard that expression before?
 
  MINDFLAYER EATS TUTS BRAIN IN: 3 RNDS
Okay, Tut runs over to the Mind Flayer. But it's too crazy, he's just all over the place! Schmektor runs over there too. Schmektor, looks like one of those blogrolls was your saving throw, or lack thereof.

So you been Psionic Blasted. Schmektor, with your IQ and WI, you get Confused. That means every round, roll a d4. 1: do nothing, 2: attack a friend, 3: attack a foe, 4: run away screaming. There are bugs in your brain. Makes Schmektor want to SMASH.

Everyone else gotta roll saves too... Tut, okay, Saved. If you post without a save, I'll assume you opt to fail.

Tut, the Mind Flayer materializes right in front of you. You get that hit in, but then... the Mind Flayer tries to eat your brain!

Tentacles all in your face. Tut, you've got limited usefullness now. No attacking. Three rounds to live before the tentacles reach your brain. Good luck there. Let's see how effective the rest of the party can be in helping you.

...

Meanwhile, Moth, you turn the flamethrower on ZOM-G and Magic Missile the Mindflayer. As you're 3rd level Magic-User, you get two missiles, each with a 5% chance of doing dmg due to the Mind Flayer (space in name is optional, apparently). Roll it.

You burn up ZOM-G's sweater. He replies:

DOOD
THAT WASNT COOL
Y DID U DO THAT??!!!@@!
THAT WAS MY SWETER
NOW ITS ON FIRE
AND TOTALLY RECKED
HOW COULD U DO IT
THAT WAS FROM MY MOM
MY MOM GAVE ME THAT SWETTER
NOW SHES DEAD
BUT I GUESS U COULDNT KNOW THAT
BUT U DIDNT HALF 2B A DICK
AND BURN IT ALLUP
BUT U DID
NOW I GOT NOTHIN
NO MORE SWTTER ITS JUST ON FIRE
THAT SUX
U SUX
THX ALOT
4 RECKING MY FAVRITE SWETTER
UNBELIEBABLE
MY DEAD MOM GAVE IT 2 ME
ON MY BDAY
I WZ HAPPY
IT WAS NICE
YOU JUST BURNED IT
NOW ITS MY TURN
IM GONNA HOSE U SO BADD

U GONNA LOSE MOAR THAN A SWETTER
IM GONNA MAKE U WISH U NEVAR HAD A MOM

ZOM-G spends round 2 running after Moth. Moth, in round 3, prepare to take it REAL HARD and 'wish you never had a mom', whatever that means.
 
  Moth
Alright, it's going to take brain power to defeat this KoA, and lots of firepower to boot.

I open up a can of flamethrower on the KoA. I dunno if his metal exterior is susceptable to flame, but I imagine it will fuck up his shawl or maybe melt some wires or something.

BR 3d6 = 4 damage. Great Grisbane's ghost!

Next round, I think I have one Magic Missile left... I send it at the Mind Flayer. Good ol' MM. Never misses, or so I have read.

BR 2+1= 3 damage.

OMG,
ZO-MG,
It's you and me,

Time to go,
toe to toe,
With rhymes that flow,

Like wine,
so divine,
Soft on the ear, but blasts your brain like a mine,

The game is raps,
So cut the craps,
And drop the all-caps.
 
  Schmektor:
Seeing that I have no luck with the K of A, I start running around the room chasing the mind flayer.

If I am able to catch him... then BR 3 and a BR 1... yeah... I just pretty much run up to him, crumple on the floor and put a "Kick Me" sign on my ass.
 
  King Tut


"Icarus like Matisse,
Matisse like Icarus
Listen up squid,
My buzzsaw speaks."











Ok I guess it's combat time...

Round 1:
Save = BR 14 = made v. everything.

I'm attacking the Mind Flayer, I think he's the real issue.
Attack = BR 13 = hits AC - 1 for 7 pts.

Round 2:
BR 7 hits AC 5 for 8 pts
BR 19 hits for 11 pts.

Bzz.
 
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Random Haiku


Archives of the Adventure
04.17.2005 / 04.24.2005 / 05.01.2005 / 05.08.2005 / 05.15.2005 / 05.22.2005 / 05.29.2005 / 06.05.2005 / 06.12.2005 / 06.19.2005 / 06.26.2005 / 07.03.2005 / 07.10.2005 / 07.17.2005 / 07.24.2005 / 07.31.2005 / 08.07.2005 / 08.14.2005 / 08.21.2005 / 08.28.2005 / 09.04.2005 / 09.11.2005 / 09.18.2005 / 09.25.2005 / 10.02.2005 / 10.09.2005 / 10.16.2005 / 10.23.2005 / 10.30.2005 / 11.06.2005 / 11.13.2005 / 11.20.2005 / 11.27.2005 / 12.04.2005 / 12.11.2005 / 12.18.2005 / 12.25.2005 / 01.01.2006 / 01.08.2006 / 01.15.2006 / 01.22.2006 / 01.29.2006 / 02.05.2006 / 02.12.2006 / 02.19.2006 / 02.26.2006 / 03.05.2006 / 03.12.2006 / 03.19.2006 / 03.26.2006 / 04.02.2006 / 04.09.2006 / 04.16.2006 / 04.23.2006 / 04.30.2006 / 05.07.2006 / 05.14.2006 / 05.21.2006 / 05.28.2006 / 06.04.2006 / 06.11.2006 / 06.18.2006 / 06.25.2006 / 07.02.2006 / 07.09.2006 / 07.16.2006 / 07.23.2006 / 07.30.2006 / 08.06.2006 / 08.13.2006 / 08.20.2006 / 08.27.2006 / 09.03.2006 / 09.10.2006 / 09.17.2006 / 09.24.2006 / 10.01.2006 / 10.08.2006 / 10.15.2006 / 10.22.2006 / 10.29.2006 / 11.05.2006 / 11.12.2006 / 11.19.2006 / 11.26.2006 / 12.03.2006 / 12.10.2006 / 12.17.2006 / 12.24.2006 / 12.31.2006 / 01.07.2007 / 01.14.2007 / 01.21.2007 / 01.28.2007 / 02.04.2007 / 02.11.2007 / 02.18.2007 / 02.25.2007 / 03.11.2007 / 03.18.2007 / 03.25.2007 / 04.01.2007 / 04.08.2007 / 04.15.2007 / 04.22.2007 / 04.29.2007 / 05.06.2007 / 05.13.2007 / 05.20.2007 / 05.27.2007 / 06.03.2007 / 06.10.2007 / 06.17.2007 / 06.24.2007 / 07.01.2007 / 07.08.2007 / 07.15.2007 / 07.22.2007 / 07.29.2007 / 08.05.2007 / 08.12.2007 / 08.19.2007 / 09.02.2007 / 10.07.2007 / 10.14.2007 / 11.11.2007 / 01.25.2009 / 07.01.2012 /


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