7.14.2005
  Cinder:
Cinder's a little bored...

He goes over to the thieves guild on the pretense of maybe picking up some new thieve's tools. Maybe some picks made out of silver in case we fight werewolves of something...
Really he just kinda hangs around untill he runs into Journeywoman Vilenda in the halls.

"Hey baby."

BR:2 on the CHA check.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Oh yeah - I got a BR of 4 for hp. +1 for Con, +1 special training, puts me up to 28 hp. I'm ready to go!
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey Brogg - Cinder - what's our cash situation? I got, like, 12 gold, and I'm cool with that, but if there's any extra I'd like to get a cure potion, or some more healing potions, or shit like that.

I'm not stressed about it, though, and I've got my travelling gear back so I'm good to go.

Hey DM - I'm taking 'clobbering' as my special training bonus. You want to handle that in the game, or should I take some bonus (+1 to hit, or +2 damage, or 2 extra attacks a round or something...)

'Cuz I'm a Man of the People, and I can drink heavily, and the other thing that keeps me in Odin's favor is the clobbering.

My character sheet's all updated, too.
 
7.13.2005
  Cinder:
DM>Cinder, two friends of yours from Greyhelm are here, Jurgin and Broch, they say they are business associates of yours.

Cinder checks with the Blackwall Thieves to see if Jurgin and Broch are among their active members. Cinder never actually gave anyone the secret password to gain access to the farm, so this sounds kind of fishy. (I couldn't get the Blog's search function to turn up their names, or even 'Cinder' for that matter. Lame.)

If the thieves can totally vouch for these dudes, and give me some sort of question Greetles can pose to them to verify their identity, then cool, I'll send a note to Greetles telling him to help them lay low. If they can't do that, I'll write:

Greetles, thanks for letting me know about Jurgin and Broch. One problem. I never gave the password to gain entry to the farm out to anybody. You remember the password, right? At any rate, politely inform them that proper protocol was not followed, and that you are most sorry that we can no longer accomodate them. Give them provisions to travel as well. Be firm, but be polite. Most likely this is just a mix-up, but there is a possibility that they could be dangerous.
-C


Cinder is gonna take the gp from ransoming the baby and get another potion. And he's gonna put that potion in his Roos of Holding. Sweet! He'll put all his potions in there actually, along with his thieve's tools and some daggers. How cool are these things!

And we're off!
 
7.12.2005
  Brogg:
Another NWP? That is good news. I think that I am going to take up drawing. I have always wanted to take a class, but never found the time. These last few weeks have really been great.

I'll buy myself a sketch pad and a few pencils. I will assume that 20gp should cover that and the 3 flasks of oil.

Unless anyone has any objections, I suggest that we go with Ronald's idea and call the farm "Shady Orchards". He has really done a great job with the place. I think that letting him name it will really be a nice way to thank him. I write Mr. Greetles a reply:

Dear Ronald,

It was nice to hear from you. We are all very impressed with the progress you have related to us concerning the farm. We feel that "Shady Orchards" is a grand name, and encourage you to go ahead with the paperwork.

Adventuring has been going well. We have vanquished many foes, and made just as many friends along our journey, no doubt thanks to Grisbane's blessings. As a matter of fact, we are now on our way to dispatch an Evil Unicorn King that has been troubling the locals within the Durth Mining complex. I look forward to relating our success in a future correspondence.

Cinder has indeed purchased a copy of "Dragons of Autumn Twilight" for you. He sends it with his best wishes, and insisted that your gold coin be returned to you along with it.

Dave, Fist of Odin, is well. He has been ruthlessly smiting infidels and similar types since we last spoke, much to Odin's pleasure I am sure.

Mike the Zombie has brought a new friend into our group, the floating dismembered head of a young child named Abbey. To be honest, I was somewhat disturbed by her presence at first, but she is pleasant enough, and Mike the Zombie seems a bit more cheerful with another one of the unliving around.

Who am I to judge the Xorn's spawn, the daughter of an Umber Hulk? Dost my four eyes see truer than my father's two? -Lady Umbgrokt, The Book of Grisbane 1104:24.3.

I am sure that Mike the Zombie will be thrilled to hear of our new farm hands.

And Ronald, I don't mind saying that I am thrilled about your new interest in the world of Halfbreeds. It warms my heart to hear that a pureblooded Kobold such as yourself would have the inclination to study Grisbanic doctrine. I am sure that your will find much reward and direction in your studies!

Also, please say 'hello' to Gregolas for me. He is a good brother of Grisbane, and has my welcome to stay at the farm. I know that he is somewhat of a lollygagger, but his heart is in the right place. I do ask that you speak as little as possible of Gregolas' basement gardening, however. His plants grow best in the basement, and he doesn't like to share his horticultural secrets.

It was good to hear from you Ronald. I do not know when our journey will take us back to Shady Orchards again, but I do look forward to it. Take care, and don't forget to write.

Grisbane's favor be with you,

Brogg


Brogg sends the Dragonlance book and the gp with letter.
 
  Greetles Can Spell "Rudimentary" And "Entendre" But Not "A Lot"
Just so you know guys, you'll all be a little bored for the next week while the DM chills in New Orleans. Actually, 'chilling' is probably the diametric opposite of what I'll be doing. So I'll try to take care of stuff now before I go.

Cinder, pickin' pockets. Okay, you eschew plebian gps for the time being and look for some crazier stuff. You get two things of interest. First, you steal a baby and ransom it for 200 gp in unmarked gems. Then, you lift a sweet set of trainers, that turn out to be magical! You get some Roos of Holding, and they're black with a red roo on them.

Dave, Mike the zombie thinks that murdering some unicorns sounds fabulous. Now that you think about it, you're pretty sure that Odin's cool with the undead. You remember hearing a legend where Odin actually killed himself, hanging himself from some tree, but came back to life. You're not sure why, maybe just to prove he's got Greater God Cajones. And there's the whole Valhalla, dead soldiers thing. It's kind of a radical interpretation of the text, but you might even say that Odin was an Undead God of the Undead! But that's sort of nuts, better just leave it at the firebreathing God of Beatdown.

In fact, Mike really digs that side of Odin, and donates 10 gp to the temple. For a 10 gp donation, he can get either the baseball hat or the tote bag. He figures that since he's going on an adventure and probably will get some stuff, he gets the Odin tote bag. It's got a big picture of Odin, kind of hunched over, grinning maliciously with his fist pumped, and in big comic book letters it says "ODIN IS... THE VIOLATER!"

Odin's got sort of an unusual PR strategy, in that he doesn't really have one. Most faiths, particularly Grisbane, because of the poor public perception of most half-breeds, except for half-elves, and Isaac of the Jug, enjoy a rather extensive marketing and relations budget. For Odin, though, the priests just sort of take turns and say things like "Wouldn't it be cool if Odin fought crime and smashed guys with a bat! Hell yeah I'm gonna put that on the breakfast cereal."

Anyway Dave, I'm not sure how much cash you have, but the temple will give you 200 gp in tithes for you to spend as you wish. They'll also give you a Potion of Healing (1d8+2) and a Potion of Blitzkreig (+1d4 to ST and CN, -1d8 to DX for 20 rounds). You have no cash left over some special training, and your character sheet is way out of date, most of that stuff is gone from when Vrill captured you. Maybe Brogg or Cinder want to help you out with some $$, but training cost a shitload of money.

Now that Mike sees everyone buying some potions, guys, Mike thinks that he could use a couple himself. Maybe a Potion of Cause Light Wounds, if such a thing exists? (You doubt it.) Or a Potion of Prevent Turning or some such shit.

Dave, good thinking asking about the unicorns. Okay, as much as James- it's not Jimmy, damn it, it's James- as much as he wants to help, you decide to try your luck elsewhere. In fact, while you're staying at the temple, a couple guys come in with bad wounds for healing. After hefty donations, you talk to them a bit. Turns out one of those guys got a unicorn horn right in the eye! They tell you that they were ambushed by three unicorns as they were heading to the fjords for some ice fjishing. Hmm, you think. They draw a little map of where they were when the unicorns jumped them and took their gold. It's about a day north of here, en route to where Grunna's lodge should be! Well that's convenient, you think. You give them a Cure Light Wounds on the house and tell that guy to put an icepack on his eyeless socket. Cure Blindness is out of his pricerange and wouldn't help anyway, what that guy needs is a Regeneration, and DMC Death & Dismemberment certainly doesn't cover that!

As for special training, well, you get a weapon proficiency and two non-weapon profs. You guys are free to think up your own NWPs because, you know, you've all been playing D&D for awhile now. But here are some suggestions:
A new language, like Minerspeak, French, or Gold Dragon
A basic skill like running, swimming, climbing, alertness, read lips, or drinking
A combat-helpful skill like blind-fighting, quickdraw, super moves, or dirty fighting
A profession like alchemy, tailor, surgery, mining, drawing, shipbuilding, or town guarding
A knowledge skill is always helpful, like history, geography, lore of the underdark, or modern literature

At higher levels, it might be possible to get crazier skills like Command Army, Catch Arrows, or Superspellcraft. You never know, and it'll get harder to get 'special training' you might have to go on a quest or something. But for now, you're still low level and it's cool.

Ring of Big Heals, Aid... yeah that makes sense. It gives +1 to Aid. And oh yeah, help yourself. It's a calzone with four different cheeses. Pretty fucking tasty.

Brogg, when you guys are preparing to leave for the mountains, one of the acolytes comes up to you with a letter. It arrived a few days ago for you and your friends. Here's the letter:

From the desk of R. Greetles

Dear Sirs,

How are you doing? I hope you are having alot of adventures and getting alot of gp and xp. I am fine here. We are doing some nice farming. This is the principle reason I am writing you because although I know you must be very busey, I have a few questions that only you, as masters of the farm, can address.

There are alot of workers here now on the farm. Most of them are zombies, I think we have 26. There were two others, but one of them wandered off and another fell apart and I couldn't fix him, so he became compost. They all arrived last month but we haven't had any more come in the last couple of weeks. They are hard workers if you tell them exactly what to do, and two of them seem to have rudimentary intelligence and act as good middle management. In addition, Cinder, two friends of yours from Greyhelm are here, Jurgin and Broch, they say they are business associates of yours. They don't really work so hard because they say they can't be seen outside. And Brogg, there is a friend of yours here named Gregolas Halfelfen. He also doesn't really work so hard because he sleeps alot although he's trying to grow some plants in the cellar. I guess he reminds me of Tanis Half-Elven.

I am filling out paperwork for the DMC Mines and Farms insurance, and I am not sure what to put as the 'title' of our farm. 10 Old Grito Farms Lane is the address and I suppose we could call it that. I asked the workers and here are the suggestions. The two talking zombies proposed "Farm Applefarms" and "2". I think we can rule those out, although we do have some apple trees. Jurgin wants to call it "The Bunny Ranch" which is odd because we don't have any rabbits. In fact, because of the zombies, we can't have any livestock whatsoever. I bought a sheep but the zombie scared it so bad that it died. Gregolas wants to call it "Fahrenheit 420" which I also don't understand because it doesn't get that hot here. I might suggest "Shady Orchards" because we do have orchards, so we do have shade, and the double entendre of the word Shady suits our gang here if I may be so bold. Please return to me the favor of your correspondence with a name so that I may file the paperwork and legitimize our operation.

Sincerely yours,

R. Greetles
Nameless Farms

P.S. You didn't happen to borrow my copy of Dragons of Autumn Twilight perchance? It's okay if you did but I seem to have misplaced it. Enclosed is 1 gp for a copy of Dragons of Winter Night if you happen to come across a Barnes and Nobles or something in your adventures.

P.P.S. Brogg, thank you for your information regarding halfbreeds. I apologize for my unthoughtful remarks re: Tanis Half-Elven. I am trying to learn alot about half elves from Gregolas. I have been in correspondence with Masters Grettin and Shettin on some matters of Grisbane theology, as Gregolas seems loathe to answer most of my historical questions. The Masters generously provided me with a book called The Book of Grisbane and it is rather large. I am learning alot about Grisbane. -RG.


Sure enough, there's 1 gp taped to the letter, although Cinder beat him to it.


Oh yeah, and I HEART that unicorn picture. The stubby gold horn is exactly what it looks like.
 
  Oh Yeah
Right, sorry, forgot to add a couple things.

Cinder, one of your last days around Blackwall, you run into Larry and Abe the guards! At first it's a little awkward and they're sort of embarrassed, but pretty soon it's like whatever, we're all Thiefs here and you go get a drink. Turns out they work the mines for Blackwall in addition to the DMC... the mines are so big, DMC has trouble controlling everything, so there are some unofficial agreements, plus some extra unofficial business that gets done, with Blackwall looking after a few regions of the mine in exchange for, you know, goods and services.

You guys talk some more about this Vrill guy, conflict of interest and all that, and you also hit up Journeylady Vilenda about the Vrill situation. First off, no, Vrill's got no connections to Blackwall. If he was Guildmaster of Greyhelm, then maybe they'd be talking, but Blackwall tends to stay away from podunk places like Grito. I mean, could you find a pair of Magical Roos in Grito? I think not! Ha ha you all have a good laugh about that one. And if you tried to ransom a baby there the guards would be on you like flies to shit. Ha ha ha!

Anyway, they'll keep their ears open for info about Vrill, and if you want to plunk down 5000 gp you can put a hit out. On your very last day before you set out, Vilenda calls you into her office and tells you that she just got word of Vrill back in Greyhelm. Turns out he- or someone acting on his behalf- just sold a Collie Farm for a hefty sum. Then, even more mysterious, the Guildmaster himself and one, rather poor performing Apprentice disappeared for a few days immediately after the sale was completed. The Potion Guild has been very careful about information leaks after their Potion Machine was exposed, so she can't tell you any more about it at this point.

Anything else you guys want to say or do before you head into the mountains? We'll start up: Against the Unicorn King! when I get back.
 
  Brogg:
Great, seeing that everyone agrees, let's head out into the caves of Durth and find Andicorn.

But, before we leave, I do tell Dave, Fist of Odin, Mike the Zombie and Cinder that there is a half-troll archer named Leuco that is out to do me in. As a matter of fact, I buy three more vials of oil.

Let's be off!

Oh, and yeah, I got it: powder Andicorn's horn, then get the Wisdom point.
 
  Cinder:
Cinder is a little bored, so he's gonna pick some pockets in the merchant district. I'm looking for stuff above and beyond the usual coinage. Something interesting.

Here's 3 Blogrolls in order:

30%
3%
47%

Go fish.
 
7.11.2005
  Cinder:


Cinder hoists his blade. "Let's go kick their asses!!"
 
  Cinder:
Cinder explains to Dave that he was thinking we get the monk book first (after getting Brogg a wisdom point), then give it to the thieves in return for scouting out Vrill. Then, while they're doing that (which should take a couple days at least), we go find his missing valkyrie. She probably just got way too drunk and forgot where she parked her car.

Edit: Cinder forget that Mike was a thief as well. Maybe it was the time before he was a zombie and he verified that a trap was a poisoned needle by sticking his finger in the lock. Anway, Cinder wasn't trying to condescend or anything by offering his advice on those thieve's tools, but his offer still stands.
 
  Dave, fist of Odin
P.S. Hey Mark - next time you're in the mood, can you update the reference page with spells-per-level for priests? I'm pretty sure for 4th level it's 3-2, and at 5th it's 4-2-1, but after that I dunno.

Thanks! (P.S. for this blog apparently means Pre Script...)
 
  Dave, fist of Odin.
Yeah, you know. Quests are cool. Is Andricorn down in those caves? What's the skinny on the timeline? The Valkyrie is two days away, is the thing, and I want to maximize our efficiency.

But Unicorn, Valkyrie, monks sounds like a pretty good questing queue. Does Mike have any quests he wants to go on? What about Abbey? I ask them, and shit, because even Zombies have feelings.

Speaking of that, how are Mike and Abbey doing? I'll take an afternoon and make sure they're okay. They need anything? I might mention that Odin doesn't care about our 'live-dead-undead' status, as long as we're down with the clobbering and smiting and shit. I don't particularly know that's TRUE, but I also don't know that it's FALSE, and that's about as close as you get to canon when you're a priest of Odin.

I buy some stuff. How much extra cash do I have, after special training? I want to spend it on potions, mostly. I also ask around about Unicorns - but this isn't really my area of expertise, finding beans by doing research, so mostly what I do is try to find someone who knows something about unicorns - and specifically NOT ol' drunken Jimmy at the bar who will tell you he knows what you want to hear - and ask 'em. I'm pretty sure any other priest of Odin is more on the ol' drunken Jimmy end of the spectrum from a unicorn-sage kind of guy. You know.

And, keep in mind that my first non-weapon proficiency was 'heavy drinking'. That should give a hint as to the kind of researcher I am, and also is why I mention ol' drunken Jimmy as a COUNTER-example of what I want to do.

So - Mr. DM:

a) how much cash do I have?
b) what kind of things can I get for special training?
c) can I have a bite of that? It smells really good.

Or, I could just make some stuff up, update my character sheet, and then add a couple of healing potions. Oh, and I'll wear the Ring of Big Heals, being 4th level and shit. Are we going with the spells list posted? Does the RoBH - heh, how about that! - work with 'aid', or just the cures (light, serious, critical)?

Dave, fist of Odin out.
 
  Cinder:
"Friend Brogg! On your most holy quest, I pledge my sword! ...and my bow!."

Cinder then tells the party of his quest to kill some monks and take all their magic treasure. But here's the twist:

"I understand that mine quest may not be the moral one, but, should we complete it, there is a prayer book worth about 5,000gp! I propose that we perform this task for the Blackwalls, and in lieu of that princely sum, we put the vast network of the Blackwall thieves themselves to work tracking down Vrill as a payment. Their eyes are many, and they could find him more quickly then we ever could."

"I propose we perform Brogg's undeniably holy quest first, then get the monk treasure, setting the Blackwall thieves into motion for us, and give them time to do their thing while we then set out and find Odin's missing valkyrie! That's a 'best laid plan' if I ever heard one. What say you all?"

I also have the Blackwall thieves disguise my sword for me, and inquire if the scouting of Vrill would be appropriate payment for the monk prayerbook.

Edit: Looks like we were posting at about the same time Rob, didn't see your P-town post till just now. I tell the party about the alarm, and I also tell the Blackwall thieves about it too, while I'm asking about payment for the monk-job. The more information the better when it comes to this kind of thing. I furthermore tell the local Blackwall chapter about the job I did for them at the potion guild, at the reguest of guildmaster Grimes, along with Vrill's connection to said guild. Cinder's reasoning is that he isn't sure if Vrill could possibly have connections himself to any of the Blackwalls somewhere, and if he should, this info might prevent the thieves from immediately siding with Vrill should a conflict of interest present itself. And while we're on the subject, Cinder asks just how the guild does go about handling conflicts of interest like that. Do they always side with their own members over 3rd parties? Is it who has the deeper purse? Is there a policy at all? Cinder's just kind of curious.
 
  Maybe I Just Wanted A Souvenir From P-Town
Whoa hold on there half-orc. Clarification. You realize that you don't yet get the +1 WI, you only get it after you kill Andicorn the Unicorn King, make a paste out of his horn, there's like a ritual or something you have to do. Grettin and Shettin didn't just jack up your WI right there. I'm pretty sure you got this, but your post is a little ambiguous.

But yeah, 500 gp for horn, sorry, I forgot about that.

Cinder, Mike digs the necklace. In fact, he goes out and gets one for Abby too. Then he realizes that she doesn't have a neck, and spends a bit more $$$ to turn it into a tiara. Where'd Mike get the $$$ you might ask. He's a 4th level zombie thief don't forget.

Yeah, maybe the thing isn't worth 20 gp, but then again, I've got a shirt I paid $60 for when I was in Provincetown? It's this thin crappy blue shirt, almost like a baseball T, and it's probably worth about 5 bucks. And I never wear it. I don't know why I bought it. But there it is. If Chicago and Boulder had a baby and it lived in the Grand Canyon, that'd be what Durth is kind of like, and so there are expensive boutiques. It's sort of like Salvation Army-cum-Hot Topic, where you found the necklace. There were a couple goth kids shopping for cloaks and a guy with a Misfits hairdo at the counter. You figure he probably wouldn't even care had he seen you take the necklace, which there's no way in hell he would have with that 5% roll.

Okay Cinder, you buy some potions and a lead box, because Brogg had the cash. In real life, a lead box is probably the last thing you want to carry around, but I guess adventurers regularly do things like cart around 10 days of food and water, dead bodies, 10 swords and crossbows they took off the bandits, all kinds of feats. So it's cool.

Cinder, you go ask the guards about Vrill. Good thinking. Lar and Abe tell you that they didn't see anyone else, but at the upper entrance, the Detect Invisible alarm went off, which is why they were down in the caves in the first place. They thought you were the guys, come back to nab a zombie. But the intruder was never caught... maybe he was your guy? If you check with the Potion Guild, they have record of one Master Vrill being formerly in charge of the Grito guild, but after some big scandal a while back, the place was closed and Vrill disappeared. Strangely, this was around the time that Durth's own Master Yves Meifer disappeared, 100 gp reward for any information about Meifer.
 
7.10.2005
  Brogg:
Whoa, another Wisdom point?! That is great!

Alright, speaking of Unicorns, it was selling my golden unicorn horn that got me the 500gp to give to Cinder. And it was worth it. Just listen to this:

Lady Elf, Lady Love
90% resistant to my charms
And so blest by Heaven above
She can ride Unicorns


God that Ffleudenssen is great. I should have listened to Mr. Greggs, my fifth grade music teacher, and become a bard.

But, Grisbane calls! And he has called upon me! I tell the Elders Grettin and Shettin that they won't be disappointed. Andicorn is on his way to the glue factory. I most humbly thank them for their audience and for their confidence in me.

I then go back to the guys and try to convince them of the importance of this quest. -Cinder, Mike the Zombie, Dave, Fist of Odin, and uh, Abbey, Grisbane has charged me with a most valiant quest, and their are many spoils to be had! I know that Greg Vrill has really, really cheesed us all off, but I think that he is quite some distance away. His payback is long overdue, but please, grant me the favor of your company and skills upon this quest!

Are you with me my brothers?! Oh, and sister?!
 
  Cinder:
Yup, Hit points have been rolled and added already.

And that necklace for Mike? How does a BR: 05% grab ya? Maybe it doen't grab you at all, but I'll tell you what it does grab. That iron necklace, that's what. Serves that guy right for charging 20 gold pieces for a tiny melt of iron. I mean, that's gotta be some serious craftsmanship there.

"Hey there friend." Cinder walks up to Mike and hands him the necklace.
"What do you think? I dunno, it's kind of a powerul affirmation. A bold statement really.In death do I live, -and you do, you know? Anyway, let me know if it's alright, but I can't take it back, just so you know."

"If you need any pointers with those lockpicks, just let me know. Just always keep 'em well oiled and clean. I can't stress that enough. Trust me. Huge difference."

I guess I'm waiting on Brogg to let me know if that 500gp really happend for the book. If so, Cinder is gonna pick up a silence poison, a potion of extra healing, and a damage poison III. And he's gonna get a little lead lined box to keep the vials in to protect from dispel magic. Cinder heard somewhere that that works.

Brogg, does Cinder know that Leuco is after you? If he does, Cinder makes sure never to leave Brogg alone unless specifically told to go away.

Cinder at some point in these weeks of training pays a visit to the guard that shot him in the gut with a bolt. I just want to know if that dude saw anybody (Vrill) in the cave area shortly before or after us.
 
  Quest Time
So here's the deals.

Cinder, you asked about fencing Lord Rupert's sword of gold. Sure, the Thiefs are pretty excited to get their paws on it, and they'll pay you 5000 gp! On the other hand, if you'd prefer, for 30 gp they can paint over it with steel paint, give you a new scabbard, wrap the hilt in black leather, and no one would be the wiser if you'd rather keep it. The Thiefs will tell you where they think some other magic weapons can be found, free of cost, because they figure you'll fence some of that shit anyway.

Apparently there's a new order of monks in town. No one really knows where they are, but they're pretty rich. They've got some urns and tapestries and stuff that the Blackwalls would love to get ahold of, and according to rumor, they're stockpiling magic weapons for some reason. No one really gets that one, because don't monks, you know, use karate and stuff? Anyway, they're called the Monks of Progress, and they were pretty visible about a month before you arrived, but now they've gone into hiding, or built a monestary or something. Find the monks, get their stuff, and the Blackwall Thiefs will pay you premium. In particular, if you can get their illustrated prayerbook, the Thiefs estimate it at 5000 gp. Pretty sweet.

Dave, the temple of Odin is a little concerned because usually Grunna the Valkyrie flies down every month to party at the main temple. They haven't seen her for the last couple months, but you know, some stuff has been coming up, so no one's gotten around to finding her and reminding her of the parties? Or maybe something bad has happened. Anyway, her lodge is up on a bluff, about two days north of town right where the Bjornen Fjord meets the Sjornskjeld Fjord. There's no reward or anything but hey, party with a valkyrie of Odin yo.

Brogg, at the end of your training, you finally are called before Grettin and Shettin. Two attractive half-orc maidens accompany you into the main hall. Then, two half-ogres, a half-gnoll, and a half-giant walk out carrying a large pillar. Atop the pillar is seated the great Grettin and Shettin! Grettin and Shettin are a half-ettin. Literally, but just the top half. It's pretty fucked up, and make a WI check to avoid saying "What the fuck?!"

It's true. Grettin and Shettin are only half an ettin, just two heads, two arms, and a torso. They're wearing an elegant, expensive robe, and Shettin has a nice haircut, little spectacles, good teeth for an ettin, and a sharp, incisive look of the great High Priest of Grisbane. Grettin, on the other hand, well, Grettin has a Gameboy. And seems pretty wrapped up in it, not really paying attention to you, just trying to play the Gameboy with the arm under his control, with kind of a dopey, glassy-eyed look. Actually, on an IQ or Knowledge:History check, you'll remember a rumor that you heard, that the High Priest of Grisbane has a Gameboy +2! Although, although you're not really sure what that means... +2 fun? +2 lives? +2 Mario?

Every now and then Shettin will help Grettin hold the Gameboy with sort of a sad, disgusted look towards him. But mostly, his attention is focused on you.

"Welcome, Brogg, Champion of Grisbane, to the House of Turf Bleeding. I congratulate you on your Pact of Genocide and we here in the House have heard tremendous things of your successes against the monsters who would assail the walls of the house of Grisbane. Uh, no, not like that (to Grettin), use the heart on the Ghoulmaster. Yeah, good, now you got it."

"Yes Brother Brogg. I knew your father, Brogg Geraldo, a strong orc warrior and man of great faith in Gruumsh. I see that the courage and spirit that coursed through his veins course in yours as well."

"You have many questions I am sure. You will find that most answers come on the end of your blade, as befits the Champion. You have questions, but I have a quest. Yes Brogg, new troubles assail us here in the Great House. You see, it has come to our attention that Jean-Pierre GodHoof, god of the unicorns, was recently slain in a battle with Quetzlcoatl, god of the Aztecs. The unicorns, distraught, came to us for protection, claiming themselves to be half-breeds, spawned of the union 'twixt horses and narwhales. However, the Council argued at length over this matter, but our decision rested on two pieces of incontrovertible evidence: 1) there are no mention of unicorns in The Book, and 2) unicorns can't swim."

"Andicorn, leader of the unicorns, repaid our decision of exclusion with violence, and slew two of our priests, Juniper Halfling and Rolo, Half-Ogre. The unicorns, usually reclusive, harmless cave dwelling animals, have become barbaric and deranged."

"Thus as Champion, Brogg, defender of the Brech-Turf Covenant, I issue unto you this challenge. Go, find Andicorn, slay him, and as many unicorns as you can. Grisbane shall bless your struggles, and if you make a paste out of the Unicorn King's horn, you will be granted +1 WI. That's right, +1 WI, a step along the way to Big Level Spells. Now go." And with that, he's led out of the audience hall, as are you.

There you have it.
 
  Step 2: Stay Away From Clerics
So Brogg, I forget... where'd you get 500 gp to give to Cinder for the book?

Cinder, here's a listing of potions and poisons you can buy. Not included is 10% discount:
Healing: 1d8+2, 75 gp
Extra-Healing: 2d8+4, 200 gp
Curing (poison and disease): 150 gp
Invisibility: 200 gp
Levitation: 150 gp

Silence poison: -2 to save, 200 gp
Paralytic poison: 1d4+1 rounds paralyzed, 300 gp
ST, DX, CN poison: -1d4 to each ability, 200 gp
Damage poison I: +1d4+1, -1 to save, 50 gp
Damage poison II: +1d6+2, -2 to save, 100 gp
Damage poison III: +1d8+3, -3 to save, 150 gp

Okay Cinder, you can find a necklace like you're looking for in the Thieves' Quarter. There's a hand-me-down boutique shop that sells a lot of ex-necro stuff and it's a big black iron chain necklace with a steel clasp in the front. Written in Fleshtongue is the phrase "IN DEATH DO I LIVE". 20 gp please. Or, make a pick pockets check to get your Blackwall's 100% discount.

Cinder, did you roll those hps?

Brogg, bolts, drinks, check. Mike says thanks for asking, but he's good. He lives simply. He's got leather armor, a crossbow, and a sword. Plus some thieves tools and a pamphlet that reads:

Living On Your Own- You Can Do It!
A guide for the zombie or skeleton on the loose.

Step 1) Get a routine going.
Etc...

It looks like Mike the zombie went to a zombie support group for independent undead, but he didn't get much out of it. Plus, floating head and friends with two priests is sort of rare in a zombie. Kept the brochure though.

Brogg, you're a fighting machine now.
 
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

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