"Um, of course I'm a monk, and a very ethical one at that, strict you might even say. That's why I'm taking him with us. People are trying to kill the poor guy. He's uh, my like responsibility or something. Why, you wanna just leave him here with Greetles? Damn the Tart...gone? Fuck. Maybe we could sell one of his extra magic short swords for a cart and horses for him. I would assume we are now his legal guardians."

Consider it done. Rob the short sword +1 is sold. New Tart II bought for Cinder. That should leave us some spare change. Maybe enough for moth to special train after this, and a couple of potions of healing for the Party since everyone seems low on them. If so let me know rob. I try to see if I can trade a potion of protection from avians to Stan. If he can use it in some clever way in his dungeon, maybe I can get a potion of healing that way as well.

Then Zelba willing we are on our way. Did I see a really big tree while flying with Stan?
"I'm coming with, and I got almost 200 gp. Isn't the 'tart still pretty fucked up from getting glued by those bugbears? And besides, why take Cinder with us? I guess we could use him for bait, but that strikes me as unethical. I'm chaotic though, so that's not my forte, but aren't you a monk, man? "

I look into getting Cinder a babysitter or something.

What does everyone think of selling Cinder's stuff? Chances are he's never going to use that Crystal Jambox, and it's a little too flashy for my lute act. He's got other stuff too, but I imagine that's the most valuable thing.
sweet, no way through the door. No posts, I get the Tart ready for travel....uh anybody got...uh healing potions? Or money for them? I gave all my money to the temple fund....
  No Your Wrong
No Marivhon, you're wrong in your assumption. Stanislaus agreed to help you rebuild the temple if you got him a Knight. But he didn't agree to do it for free. It was going to take 20000 gp, a fraction of which (about 25%) you've already paid.

But he's pretty excited about getting the Knight, so he's basically thrown in 10000 gps of his own. Meaning you have a total of 5000 gp left to pay off before all the construction can be bought.
whoa, Stan said this when we talked about getting him a knight.

"Zelba. Hmm. Yes, I can agree to that. Bring me a Knight, and we shall rebuild the temple! Perhaps we could build a long secret passage between the temple and my tower, and place a coded treasure map revealing its location! Next to another scroll of Explosive Runes! Ha ha, I love that idea." Stanislaus is clearly insane.

So he's insane but does he honor his word and rebuild the temple now without any additional funds. I gave him the 2000 gold myself to get him started on it without us giving him the knight first, the rest of the party kicked in another 1500 gold. Now he has the Knight and we should be good. It may be over budget but let's not get all out of hand with draining all the gold from the party shit. It's already been done and someday I would like to special train again.

Renwick can you get a knock spell so we can get through Vrill's door. If not then let's head to Greyhelm keep and find this guy.
  Brogg Tries A Few Things On His Spreadsheet
Well, no, the funding situation isn't all taken care of. Stanislaus is pretty excited about the Knight of Armek though, so he decides to pitch in some slush fund gps to help the temple reconstruction itself, which is starting to go over budget.

"Look at it this way. We could do it right or do it cheap. You need to ask yourself if you want plain old concealed doors or authentic secret doors. Plus your vampire doesn't work cheap, and it's safe to say you want to keep a vampire happy. Initial projections might have been a bit too optimistic on the number of adventurers that would make it down to Room 6B on Level 3, so food costs are now an issue. But details, details! Let's not bore ourselves, they're in good hands."

Looking at the paperwork, I think Brogg has Accounting NWP, right? 5000 gp more total and you should be all squared away with temple costs. If Brogg can make an IQ check at half, some creative accounting can reduce that by 10%.
I spent 2000 gold. It should all be taken care of now that we got this guy his Knight of Armek now though right? My d6 is a 3.
  Temple Business
Marivhon, how much did you give for the temple? I don't know how much gold you had.

And roll a d6 when you return to the temple bottom. The blue door is still there, glowing blue, still locked.
Rob, I go check out the glowing blue Vrill door again. I am real sneaky. MS made 26, Hide missed 83. Ok, not real sneaky.
well, we make sure that Stan is on the temple building right good. Then I agree we go after Vrill in Greyhelm. I gave all my money to Stan for the temple building. I am fat broke.
  Jen Works At Buffalo Exchange Downtown. No, The Other One.
Yeah, Dusty the Dust Devil sure has been helpful the last million times he's been summoned.

Later that night, at the 'Zeitgeist' bar in the quasi-elemental plane of dust, Dusty's bitching about his employment over his third Jack & Coke. "I mean, shit TJ. It's like I show up, not late, not all fucked up or hung over or anything. I show up. I'm there to do the job. I don't mind workin' for the Man, it's like, what choice do we got, you know? But you know what? Within seconds, boom. I'm outta there. I've got 2 fuckin' hit dice, and this guy is putting me up against golems and what have you. Goddamn golems! I'm like the fuckin' fat kid at kickball. No sorry, I mean fat kid at dodgeball. I'm there for laughs. Shit. I mean, I'm not like a bad guy or anything, orcs? Sure, it'd be like 'good luck porker'. Goblins, a wolf or something? But nope, not me. Do you send the plumber to build the goddamn space shuttle? Do you send the dyslexic kid to the spelling bee? Alright, maybe that was a bad example. Yeah, I hear that. Yeah, yeah, alright, no, I'm chill. Let's have another. I mean, big deal if I get summoned all drunk, right? -4 to hit? Who gives a MOTHER FUCK. Just gonna be sent home to the doctor in a dee four rounds regardless. Shit TJ. No, I dunno. Maybe I should take that job at Jen's store."

Looking at his character sheet, for Moth to special train, someone's gonna have to give/lend him 103 gp, as he has 197 gp. Anyone want to pony up?
Hey, you din't mention Dusty's efforts to confuse the KoA. C'mon give a DD a little love.

Anyway, after that's accomplished, we have one of those A-team moments where I light a cigar and say, "I love it when a plan comes together." Then Cinder wakes up all covered in glue and says "Wow, what happened, guys?!" and we are all like "Ha ha ha!"

That being done, we get Moth some training.

Now I think we should focus on Vrill and Abbey. We need to get Zelba off our backs ASAP. I am open to suggestions.
I lack the money to special train or train at all, so I'll forgo that for now. How much "sprucing up" did Stanislaus do for our temple? Maybe we could comission an awesome triforce mural or something for the altar. That'd be just great, y'know, hope amidst all the human skulls and black candles and stuff.

I vote we go to Greyhelm and try to cut this Vrill guy off, steal some of his glory for a change. Of course we'd have to fight more knights, and that hasn't gone spectacularly for us in the past, Ewok tactics aside. Anyone else have ideas on what we could do for adventures?
  On This Thinf
Oh okay, fine. But Message and tree branches, this is a fuckin' Knight of Armek, not some lousy stormtrooper against the Ewoks. But let's just wrap this up, your Ewok tactics do just fine, just fine really, and delay the Knight's escape long enough at least for Stanislaus, Marivhon, bugbears and xorn to arrive.

The bugbears prompty get to work covering the Knight with glue, squirting it out of their little kegs. It's kinda nasty really, and your Tard Cart is effectively ruined. (Cinder is removed first.) Stanislaus tells you not to worry, it's under control, he'll spruce up your temple for you in exchange for damages done to your wagon.

Stanislaus doesn't know anything about your magic Pokemon card. "Hmm. In a few more levels I'll have access to 1st level Magic-User spells. Come see me in a few more years and we can talk."

Nice work y'all, 2500 xp. That only levels Moth in fighter. I'll assume you guys are returning to Grito to rest, so go ahead and level Moth, assuming you've got the gold. It's 200 gp for normal, 300 gp total for special training.

What next?
I show Stan my Jigglypuff card.
"any clues on why this is magical? Can I summon this guy?"

and Rob I keep my eye out for the largest tree in the area while we fly around. let me know if I think I have found a truly old and sacred Tree, as it were. what does that mean as it were, huh I don't know. I sent a guy to jail today, no really all cops and robbers clandestine shit. hrm maybe I should post that to DID TT whatever. Down with the Knights of Amtrak. Berenbourge not withstanding, what does that mean too. not withstanding. you really should have a breatherlizer on this thinf.
I start pushing leafy tree branches through the bars.

I just keep pushing them in, nothing big enough to be used as a weapon or a leaver, but if we can get enough in there we might be able to encumber it.

Kinda lame, but hey I'm tryin.
Alright, I cast a Dust Devil and center him on the KoA. I know it can break a caster's concentration, -maybe it will do the same for the KoA.

Let's pick it up!
I cast message, and then if possible, send magical static at the knight to try to confuse it. Failing that, simple gibberish will do.
  Other Merit Badges Include Eating Silver, Eating Gems, And Wrestling Umber Hulks
Stanislaus: "The tower is great! It's just great, thanks for asking. We're doing lots of great, really innovative stuff with monsters and illusions, I'll spare you the details, but it's just a fantastic place to go on an adventure. Provided, of course, you don't mind a rather high casualty rate! Ha ha ha."

"We've built the tunnel connecting the Tower of Illusion with the Dark Temple of Zelba. I put some Drow and a few wights down there for now, one of them has a Rod of Beguiling, so we can charm some adventurers, then level drain them down to nothing and BAM! Instant undead for you. I also put a couple traps and things down there... well, actually, I just advised. Tennyson the Ogre-Mage is overseeing all the construction. That's another fun part of the dungeon, there's this Ogre-Mage gambler with some magic decks. No, not that kind of Magic deck. I mean, Deck of Many Things, Deck of Illusions, what have you, and he's going to make wagers with adventurers, he's got it all worked out. Wonderful guy, big-picture kind of guy, this Tennyson. Have you met? No? Well, next time, I'm thinking of doing this wine, cheese sort of thing for all the new high rollers."

Stanislaus loves to talk about dungeons, so he floats along beside you.

You try to talk to the xorn, but all you get in response is: "BLAGHAFGEHGGLABLBLAX". Bugbear Steve rolls his eyes and clues you in. "Yeah, we call him Blagga, Blagga the Xorn. He don't speak common so good. He a Xorn Scout. Got a merit badge for eating gold. Eating gold, huh huh, I dun' get it. Gold goes in chest or in pouch, not in mouth. Huh huh." A few of the other bugbears nod thoughtfully in agreement with Bugbear Steve's assessment of what's best done with gold.
I ask Stan how the Tower is going. I tell him that we are planning on having a nice dedicatino ceremony and that from it we might get some undead to help guard the temple to tower tunnel. I guess I try and talk shop with him and find out what I can.

I ask the Xorn whats up with his sash and badge.
  Robot Houdini
Okay, Schmektor and Renwick get everyone together, and you work to ensnare the Knight in a web of rope. Then you poke him with sticks. That works to delay his escape some more... until he starts spinning and twisting in a bizarre pattern... and, like a ROBOT HOUDINI, escapes the ropes in a sudden flare of motion!

You guys are 2/3s the way there... but you still need one more effective delay tactic to get the Knight all the way back to Grito. Ideas? Or will the Knight finally smash his way out?!


Marivhon, okay, no random encounters. You get to Stanislaus' tower, and alert Bugbear Roo that you've got a Knight in transit. Stanislaus gets on his magic carpet and floats down out of the tower, and in the direction towards the Tart. Joining you back on foot are 12 bugbears and a xorn, for some reason. The xorn wears a green sash with an intricate badge on it. The bugbears are carrying small kegs of glue. You hurry back...
6! whoo hooo....
Shmecky has some rope, I say we see if we can't get the knight tangled up and make him do a little less damage.

I also find some long sturdy branches and we can a poke at him, keep him off balance.

maybe we knock him down with the sticks and then tie him down to the floor by trowing the rope over his body and tieing it under the tart.
  Grito Bound
Alright, spells cast. You get the Tard Cart moving and begin the slow trek back to Grito. Dancing Lights and PFE don't last forever though, so you'll have to figure out a new strategy pretty soon.

Marivhon races up ahead. Gimme a d6...
I will do as my leader commands then.

Rob, I run off and tell Stan to get ready for a delivery.
Sure thing, Marivhon. 7hps for you, and 5hps for me.
I'm not running anywhere at 4 hp alone. Heal me and i'll run there alone...............
Alright, let's high-tail this Tard Cart back to town.

I get that donkey tied up and moving. Let's try to jog on the sides of the cart and keep the KoA occupied.

Can I Protection from Evil the cage? At the very least, if he starts getting through some place, I'll PFE myself and try to block him.

If he does bust out, maybe we can just lure him back to town. I recall these guys being really slow. We should have had a pit ready or something.

Marivhon, maybe you should run back and warn Stanislaus.
OW OH GODS NOT THE FACE, NOT THE... eh? Oh, I'm alive. Huzzah!

Hm. I'll try casting dancing lights through the bars in order to confuse the knight's magical circuitry or whatever doth power yonder automaton.
  Schmektor Of Armek
Hmm. Well, the Knight is kind of small, but it's definitely high-grade platemail. As is, you can wear it for AC:5, and with the help of a blacksmith in town, you could probably get it down lower. You could also pick up Smithing as an acceptable NWP and DIY.
Huh? Wha? whoa... thanks for the cure Dave, Fist of Odin. uh.. that guy seems pretty pissed off. I have some rope if you think we could manage to tie him up... or at the very least we could pour a shitload of water on him and hope he pulls a tin man routine. Any other ideas?

Pssst... hey Rob, the other knight we defeated... I don't suppose any of that armour would fit a guy like me would it? even if I had to jimmy rig some parts of it for at least a little break on my AC... yes... I am a shameless looter.
  Mostly Done Fighting The Knight
Well that'll do it. The second magic missile blast destroys the chain saw.

The Knight pauses for a minute, motionless.

He then begins to beat mercilessly on the door, kicking it also. If it weren't so controlled, it'd look like he/it was having a fit.

Remember, this Tart, souped up with 100 gp as it were, was still designed to hold chained men of meat, not single-minded machines of destruction, with or without power tools. You've greatly slowed down its escape, and prevented it from turning Cinder into cuts of beef, but will the Tart hold all the way back to Stanislaus' tower?

Let's just say that Dave, Fist of Odin, snaps out of his Korean coma and cures up Schmektor and Moth. Everyone's conscious now.

What do you do?

(And Gabbly Chat is pretty nice I think. Maybe it wouldn't be so great for combat though, as we'd really need to make sure everyone was there. I'm off-chat for now, but I'll post DM 'office hrs' when I'm just around my apt.)
Actualy I have one magic missile left. I've cast four already and have five magic missile and one shield memorized.

Arn't we trying to capture not kill this knight?

Magic Missile on the chain saw for 10pts.

I've yet to roll a max damage with my three missile MM, I've rolled a few minimum though. I really want that max blast.
  Access Denied
Look, Brogg. How the hell do you swing a sword- or Marivhon, a halberd for that matter- in between the bars? If you reach your arm in, the Knight gets to attack you back. There's no way to swing wide enough, or feint or do combatty type stuff, as there's no room to move. It's just trying to spear someone, rather weakly. Plus, do you guys really want to open up the attacking-weapons can of worms? Say goodbye to your stuff then.

It was fun while it lasted. Magic Missile is a different story, I'll allow that. But not melee attacks. You can have your rounds back.

By the way, I'm on the Gabbler thing right now. Check Table Talk and give it a try.
Cheddar is my favorite.

Hey, don't forget the extra 100gps I dropped into this Tard Cart.

Ok, How about this, Marivhon and I get on either side of the cage, and we whack at the chainsaw?

BR:14. Hah! 12 points!
  Cut The Cheese
Alright, attacking through the bars is a pretty cheesy combat technique. The Knight 'acts defensively' and Scooby-doos you. He goes to one side of the cage so you can't hit him. Then you walk around to his side to get to him, and he goes to the other side. Then he goes flush against the door and starts sawing through the floor. This cage is designed to hold chained prisoners made of meat, not metal men with power tools.
Hey, it's the weekend.

Alrght, I think I have two rounds here. I am going to try to chopp at his chainsaw through the bars.

First round, BR:3.

Second round, BRs:14,3. That 14 hits AC:-5 for 12 points.

Gotta run. NIN concert.
  Maybe You Are Messin With A Barrel Fish
Okay Renwick, you're Mirror Imaged. Knight swings, hits an Image. 3 left. You MM the chainsaw... good thinking. The thing is pretty rough-n-tumble though, so while you burn a big hole in it, it's still working. Maybe one more good hit... but are you out of magic missiles???!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I cast mirror image and step right up to the cage.
Let that bitch wast his charges on that.

Br 88+5 gets me 4 images.

I'll magic missile his chain saw for 12pts.
  You Ain't Messin With No Barrel Fish
Marivhon, Schmektor's already bandaged. I'm giving you a penalty to hit because you're outside the cage, meaning that round 3 is a miss also, but round 4 still hits.

Moth, two nice hits. The Knight ain't AC 7 though (he's plate mail, AC:3). Being the only one still up and active in the Tart, the Knight's had about enough of you and chainsaws you for 11. That puts you down to -4.

We'll put Marivhon's bandage action towards Moth, and my parsing of the rest of the actions is: everyone helps pull out the unconscious guys and closes the door on the Knight.

Okay, back to square one, except the newbs are unconscious. Sorry guys, I hate to do that to you, as both of you have been good frequent posters, and now you're out of commission.

Knight + Chainsaw still in Tart, re-attempts to saw through bars to kill Cinder. Marivhvon, if you try more through-bars halberding, the Knight is going to chainsaw your magic halberd. It ain't a sure thing, but this is a Knight of Armek, not a Barrel Fish.
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

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