I just keep shake my head no a couple of times. Weapons are ready. Did our ratmen assailents have iron weapons? How many exits that we can fit through are in this room? How big is this room? Do it look like a ring would be a more appropriate name for this kings "crown"? Like a ring of vermin control or something?
  Lessons In PC-NPC Communication, Or: Rape Is Not Funny
KT, see Blogger offers opportunities we could only dream about back in the table top days. For example, sure it's one thing to say that your voice is like a Cthulhu-caged tornado, but it's another thing to say:


See how that works? That's gotta be like a +2 bonus to the CHA check.

It's like how the Mindflayer always posts a picture of himself to set, instantly, the context for his message. And in bold and italics. If he could 'sticky' his posts, so they stay at the top of the blog for their urgency and importance, it's a sure thing he would.

As a blogger DM, I'd be lost without italics. It's our friend.


Oops, sorry Thren. Actually, it was weird. I could write my post, but I couldn't check the blog itself, so I just sort of assumed you didn't have the relevant NWP. But you do!

So no, the giant rats, the ratmen, and Ren- they ain't lycanthropes. If they were, well, it sort of sucks down here, and you'd guess if they could turn into men, they would just GTFO. Plus, not immune to normal weapons hasn't really been in their favor.

Up to you to decide how far your hate extends, but these guys are not monster type 'Lycanthrope'. More like monster type 'Bizarre'.


Anyway, Ren says, in a falsetto voice like a daffodil growing in the trash:

"My crown is a crown of dirty silver. It is unmistakable, unadorned, four pointed. It looks a lot like a 'Burger King' crown, except without the faux gemstones and it's really made of silver."

"I have always lived here, as the King of Rats. I am the Oldest Rat. My memory stretches back for a century, and yet I am even older than that. Honestly though, I sort of forget how I was born and that kind of stuff."

"Sure we've got some stuff to trade. Come back and I'll let you talk to Rapist Jim, who's our merchant; he's been collecting stuff for years."
In a voice that sounds like a tornado caged by Cthulu long ago, yet somehow near, I say:

"That sounds great Ren. Can you describe the crown? Also, what other items do you have here that would be useful in trade, like alchemical stuff, metal, etc." I have the relevant NWPs to gauge values.

"Tell me more about how you came to live down here, and why you are a huge rat with a person's face."
  One Quest For Another- It's The Hero's Way
Threnody, I know what you think, but really, I'm not seeing 'Lycanthrope ID' or 'Monster Knowledge' and stuff as one of your NWPs. A lot of people think they're really good at things that they aren't, so it's natural. A relevant example would be a racist who beats up an Indian guy thinking he's a Muslim terrorist instead of a peaceful Hindu. You can make a WIS check if you'd like though. Plus, silver weapons and all, right?

Theodore, it's ALL ABOUT the flavor text.

KT, okay, ratman bound.


You tell Ren the Rat King your situation. He seems unperturbed by the fact that you've just bloodied your weapons on the innards of his subjects.

"Yes, there has been much confusion in my realm
," he sighs. "You see, Those-Who-Walk stole my crown, my lovely crown, and without it, my subjects often escape my control. They have brought me many things from above in an attempt to trade with Those-Who-Walk, but They are unwilling to negotiate like civilized creatures."

Ren tells you that if you'll fetch his crown from 'Those-Who-Walk' (apparently the people who live past the two-headed dog), he'll call back all the rats into the sewers and give you all the wine and booze that remains.
TK didn't post a CHA check, but based on his lame and inflammatory response ("King Rat"?) I think he clearly failed it.

"Perhaps you would like to snack on the gnome. His large nose would make a nice snack to eat while watching 24 on Monday."
  Theodore Koppel
In a voice that carries like a spring brook, fed by the winter snow (which also is somehow heard above the cacophony of the horde), I say: "Yes, King Rat, we would rather not fight you and your subjects."

Sorry Rob. I couldn't resist. Actually, I love flavor text, cheesy or not. -Steve's always been a spacebar-slamming powergamer.
Cha check: BR 6, made by 11. I will bind the last ratman, I don't want to hurt him, but we don't need him attacking us if possible. I'm pretty sure these guys would kill us if we fight...we are already pretty weakened (and out of berries). I'll give my 8 berries to Thaka, and cast a CLW on Dag (is he still injured?) while I talk. My voice is also surprisingly quiet, yet carries above the cacophony of rats; and though it sounds like velvet, it carries a hint of the steel that lies beneath (got any more cheesy text for me to mock, Rob?).

"Hi Ren, I'm King Tut. But you may know me as K to the Tizzle 4 Rizzle. We were hired by the establishment above to investigate some problems in this area. We did not know that sentient creatures existed here. Have you had any contact with the humans that live above? It would be best for everyone if both species could live in peace. In fact, perhaps we can find some money making ventures to pursue...do you have access to any metal, or secret passageways, or any alchemical skills or compounds? I can secure a fair amount of tasty food and clean water in exchange. We may look tasty, but we really aren't. Plus, if you eat us, it would only be a couple of days worth of food, and then you are back to the usual trash. But if we become friends, we can supply you with food forever.

Tell me more about your kingdom and your subjects. I would like to see how we can work together."

Here's a little something for you.

"Hello ratman,
once again it's me,
friend to rats,
the K to the T.

Whether you are West coast,
or East coast,
you know it's no boast,
KT got the most.

Whiskers and claws
Pitter patter of paws
Just sit and listen,
to my lyrical laws."
Weellll .. . . . Is this guy a lycanthrope? I'm skilled in telling such, you know. If he is, then ignore the below text 'cuz I'm going right to initiative.

But if he isn't, I vote talkin', first. I'll give it a shot - back me up, you CHAers, hey?

"Your majesty, there's a tavern owner who can't get into his basement because of your subjects. He asked us to allow him to access his wares, which your . . . ummm . . . subjects have overrun. Can we work out some sort of agreement? I feel confident that your numbers could overwhelm us, but we would cause some small amount of damage to these . . . .ummm . .. subjects of yours - and if we fall, more like us would come, with more trouble for all concerned."

"Is there some sort of equitable solution to this problem? Your highness is, I am sure, more versed in such matters than such as us, but perhaps some negotiations would be beneficial to your realm."

I'm really reaching here, y'all, and that's pretty much tapped me out of the talking and politeness.
  Ren The Rat King
Okay Thaka and Thren. You kill a ratman and three of the rats. The last ratman is still held, and the last rat flees into the masses...

That's when you hear a horrible, small voice.

The voice is quiet, but somehow carries clear and articulate above the cacophony of the rat horde.

"Invaders of the lower realm, of my kingdom of vermin... I give you one chance to speak your peace before my subjects feast on your succulent flesh."

Squatting on the pedastal on the far end of the room is an enormous rat. Not a ratman, just a huge rat, about the size of a big pig. Except... it has an oddly flat, pinkish, human face.

"I am Ren, the Rat King, and you are in my demesne. What brings you here?"

The Rat King has with him his final guards. About ten more ratmen, along the back wall, with miscallanious melee and missile weapons.

Talk or fight?


Az: 6/13 hp + diseased
Dag: 10/14
KT: 16/22
Spiderbot: 17/37
Thaka: 11/30
Theo: 8/10
Thren: 9/10
miss with longsword and a hit on ac 6 with my flail for 5
19/14 with longsword for for 9 and 7 pts. my flail for miss
longsword is a 15 for 2. flail is a miss
12 with longsword for 2 and a miss. flail is also a miss.

I target ratmen first. thaco 17 with longsword. busy now.
All right - round 5, BR 20 and 10, which hit AC 4 for 10 and 7 hp (respectively).

Boo-ya, Mr. Rat Man!

And then, for grins, round 6: BR 3 and 11, which hits AC 11 and 3 for . . . well, for 6 hp on the second shot.

Rat man first, then rats. That's the rolling and the how I do it and all.
  Rat Fight 2 Is Winding Down
KT, okay, two rats down.

Thren, okay, rat down, ratman wounded.

Looks like it's just Thaka now, all about tons of rats.

Az: 6/13 hp + diseased (-)
Dag: 10/14 (1 rat)
KT: 16/22 (-)
Spiderbot: 17/37 (1 wounded ratman, paralyzed)
Thaka: 11/30 (4 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Theo: 8/10 (-)
Thren: 9/10 (-)
Hunh - it looks like I've got a couple of rounds to work it.

Round 3: BR 7 and 12 for (AC 7) 4 points and (AC 2) 7 points.

Round 4: BR 18 and 13 for 5 and 5 points.

I fire at the rat on me, and then any active ratmen. That's how I roll it, yo.
So this is round 4 I guess?

Here's my round, I shoot the okay rat on the bot.
BR 17 hits for 5 hp.
BR 10 hits AC 8 for 3 hp.

Bot's round:
BR 8 hits AC 6 for 6x2.

First order of business.




Okay, now that that's done, we're back to it.

Dag, nice work. You kill both your rats, and Az's rat man. Way for clerics to stick together. One of Az's rats heads over to eat you... misses.

KT, also good. You hold a ratman and a giant rat, both on the spiderbot, who kills the other giant rat on it. You then have the spiderbot move to take on Az's last rat... it takes 3 hp.

Theo, you shoot some arrows more or less randomly. One of them shoots off the rat's tail for 1 hp. You actually only have 7 berries left, as Thak already gave you one of yours. Eaten.

Az: 6/13 hp + diseased (-)
Dag: 10/14 (1 rat)
KT: 16/22 (-)
Spiderbot: 17/37 (1 rat, 1 wounded ratman, both paralyzed; 1 okay rat)
Thaka: 11/30 (4 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Theo: 8/10 (-)
Thren: 9/10 (1 rat)
  Theodore Koppel
I recall one time when I thought our party was effective. What is it with Rats?

Ah, thank you miss Thaka. -I had my hands full.

I will shoot a rat, BRs:8,19. One hit for 1. I eat all my berries. I am now at 9hp.

I will shoot that same rat again, BRs:7,10.

I will now do some soul-searching.
Ok, time to do something useful I suppose.

I cast Hold Animal on the 2 remaining ratmen (after Dag kills 1) and 1 giant rat (if the spiderbot attracts both of Az's rats, then I'll hold one on Dag, if it doesn't get both, then I'll hold the one it didn't just kill). I think it works up to 3 things with no modifier right? I'll get as many as I can, but only up to a 0 modifier on save.

I want the spiderbot to try and taunt/tank Az's rats, so he is free to heal.

Spiderbot hits w/ a 17 for 5x2.
it's about time I get a really solid round...

I eat as many of those berries as I can as a free action.

Save vs. poison? BR12 - fuggetaboutit.

Round 3 on some friggin vermin

BR20 for 18 (BR7 +2 x2)
BR 17 for 7 (BR5 +2)

Next round I'll attack Az's Ratman - it seems like Thaka has TK's under control.

BR13 hits AC6 for 10 (BR8 +2)
BR17 hits AC2 for 4 (BR2 +2)

Did I mention that I hate rats?
  Betterberries Save The Day
Okay Thak, you take on all of Theo's opponents for him. Good way to earn that cavelier experience- you put Eric to shame. You pop all 8 of your BBs (the one you gave to Theo last combat was his) to heal up too.

You wound the ratman some more. He's still up and fighting though! The ratman double damages you! Wow, I really roll a lot more 20s than 1s. Anyway, you don't have to save... he's using an old iron longsword on you. You take 6 from the slash. All rats miss.

Remember guys, KT gave you each 8 betterberries that heal 1 hp each and can be used in old potion style- as a free action. Enjoy.

Az: 6/13 hp + diseased (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Dag: 2/14 + diseased? (2 rats)
KT: 16/22 (-)
Spiderbot: 20/37 (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Thaka: 11/30 (4 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Theo: 1/10 (-, thanks to Thaka)
Thren: 9/10 (1 rat)


Az, no, House Erzsta is the Drow House. House Chordhelle is the pimp house Thaka works for. Alaheim seem to be mostly humans and a few elves, and they work a lot with the Mining Guild. Hmm... are they sincere devotees of Apollo? Well, they certainly haven't troubled to clean up the shrine themselves. Hard to say. You'd be entering into a business venture of sorts though.
Just to be clear I said that if a priest didn't heal me then I was eating my betterberries If it worked out that I have some. So I think I have 8 or 9 more HP. I attack the rat master that was on Theo. I want to get over the gnome and try to protect him from gnashing teeth.

round 4 will be a miss and a hit on ac 6 w/ longsword, sweet for 2
and a flail attack hits ac 2 for 5 hp.
I think I'll pause here with my ratman and his 4 rat buddies.

oh yeah, that save. 17.

hrm this does look grim.
  Ratmen Fight Dirty
KT, okay you and your spiderbot kill off the two rats on you. Meanwhile, you take 3 hp, and the spiderbot takes 6.

Also, okay, you can use Cure Lt Wounds on the spiderbot. That's fair. It doesn't automatically heal, nor can you automatically cure it when you need to be resting and rememorizing spells and such. Downtime, though, when everyone auto-heals given the lack of time/combat constraints, the spiderbot will also be healed to full (no cost).

Cure Lt Wnds on Theo for 4, he's up at 1 hp.

Dag, okay in round 2 you kill the ratman. You get a double damage from a rat though, for 6 hp, and make a save vs. poison.

Az, hmm, not so good. You wound the ratman, and get hit twice for 6.

Now that you've been here a little while, you can tell that you're in a large chamber. Scores of little tunnels and cracks lead off, and rats seem to come and go in an endless tide. At the back of the room, though, is an odd platform against the wall. To either side are strange carvings you can't quite make out given the distance and the distractions of melee.

HP are awfully low...

Az: 6/13 hp + diseased (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Dag: 2/14 + diseased? (2 rats)
KT: 16/22 (-)
Spiderbot: 20/37 (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Thaka: 9/30 + diseased? (2 rats)
Theo: 1/10 (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Thren: 9/10 (1 rat)
So are these were-rats or just some kind of humanoid ract with ratlike features? I'll let my non silver -1 spear decide.

BR 4... that ain't hitting anybody.
BR 16-1= 15. 4 (-1?) damage!
BR 8-1= 7. 4(-?) damage if that one hits...

All of these are directed at ratman. I have one more cure left, but I'll only drop it if someone needs it bad.

I looked through the old posts to see if I could figure out more about house Alaheim? Are they indeed drow? If so, do they really seem sincere in their devotion to the sun king? I'm definitely considering their offer, but I need to know who I'm working with.
Attacking Ratman then rats in that order:

Round 1:
BR 16 for 5 points (BR 3 +2)
BR 7 (miss)

Round 2:
BR 13 for 8 points (BR 6 +2)
BR 17 for 9 points (BR 7 +2)

friggin rats. I despise rats.

"Why you gotta get all up in my crack Ratman? You think you're some long lost cousin to Master Splinter?"

I'll attack my rats:
BR 18 hits for 8 pts
BR 16 hits for 6 pts

If that kills my 2 rats, spider bot will attack its ratman. If not, it will finish a rat.

BR 19 hits for 5(x2).

In my 1st round w/out any rats on me, I'll CLW Theo.

I don't like all the hassle of repairing the spider bot. I think I should be able to get it to full any time that we are able to get to full. I don't see why I can't just repair it if we have a night to rest, that would make it more like a real creature. If not, what are the approximate stats on the dog, if I can trade the spider bot for a simpler creature I would like to. And yeah, I'll just kill or release the prior animal friend when I want to turn the bot back on. I'd rather release it from the spell than kill it, but w/e.
  That Mindflayer Sure Is Quite The Character
The mindflayer speaks!

"No my friend, you are misquoting. 'Tis not enough to have a good brain- the main thing is to EAT it well!' Ha ha ha!"

"I shall see you lot soon, yes... sooner still than you would like! Perhaps in the landscapes of your dreams..."


Thren, well you kill the ratman in the second wave of attacks, and kill one more rat with those rolls. Ratmen are tougher than you think! There are two critical fumbles from the rats your way, and no hits. WTF.

Theo, you basically suck though- you help Thak wound the ratman on you, who slices you for 7. Then a rat bites you for 4. You're down again mate.

Az: 12/13 hp + diseased (2 rats, 1 ratman)
Dag: 8/14 (2 rats, 1 ratman)
KT: 19/22 (2 rats)
Spiderbot: 26/37 (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Thaka: 9/30 + AIDS? (2 rats)
Theo: -3/10 (2 rats, 1 ratman)
Thren: 9/10 (1 rat)
  Teddy Ruxpin Eagle Slayer

“It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.” -Rene Descartes
  Theodore Koppel
Ok, first I will take my pre-melee bow shots. On 'my' Ratman, BRs:5,16. One hit for 3.

Now for that save, BR:18. Beautiful!

1st round, BRs:1,3. Argh. Snap? BR:5 no.

2nd round, BRs:7,13 AC:7 for 5.

I hate rats.
Fucking rats.

BR 20 and 10, for 14 and 5 points of damagy goodness. That's the free round, and ratmen first, of course.

Next round - BR 12 and 13, for 4 and 6 points of damage. I'm imagining that puts down the rats on me.

If there is another round after that - BR 8 and 7, for 5 and 3 points of damage (if the rats are AC 7 or worse, since my THACO's 14).

Yeah. I say we go deal with the doggie thing, and maybe expand his chain to keep the rats away from OUR guy as well as this other guy. We've got a Druid around, right? Isn't there some sort of speaking or charming or soothing or something you could do?

Two-headed dogs are natural animals in these parts, right? As natural as spiderbots, I would imagine.

And - I imagine we'll all be diseased after going through this stinking ratty sewer. If we're spending more than a day down here let's go get the cure - otherwise, no point in fleeing everytime we get a cut, since we're likely to get re-infected.
  Actually, AIDS Isn't All That Funny
Thak, well okay. You've got a rag that smells of flowers.

Tut, repairing the bot takes a workshop or magic. You need some tools and spells beyond 'cure light wounds' which won't work on it. As for Animal Friendship, it's potentially sort of complicated. Sure, you can deactivate your robot and get a new Animal Friend. But then, what are you going to do with it? Butcher it and then turn the robot back on? In any case, you don't have any Animal Friendship spells memorized, so it's moot.


Ranged attackers can get their free round.

Tut, you kill the ratman with your first melee round. Two rat misses.

The spiderbot wounds its ratman and takes 7 hp dmg itself.

Thak, round two you kill your ratman. But first he gets a hit on you... for 3! Then a rat bites you for 4 more! Okay, you step over and help out (a probably grumbling) Theodore. Awfully kind of you. Your rats follow along... a 20! Make another save vs. disease and take 6 more hp dmg.

Az: 12/13 hp + diseased (2 rats, 1 ratman)
Dag: 8/14 (2 rats, 1 ratman)
KT: 19/22 (2 rats)
Spiderbot: 26/37 (2 rats, 1 wounded ratman)
Thaka: 9/30 + AIDS? (2 rats)
Theo: 8/10 (2 rats, 1 ratman)
Thren: 9/10 (2 rats, 1 ratman)

I like this whole: 'x guys on each of you' system. Allows combat rounds to move along more smoothly and corrects for people jumping in and out of the game. Look for it more in future adventures!
and I was trying to cover a rag with some flavoring oils/ herbs or extracts...I throw my peanut rag into the muck. My bath better be hot.
well, I attack.

On the ratman.
16 hits ac 1 and 10 hits ac 8. for 6 and 4 hp.
2nd round 15 and a 20 for 5 and 12, flail for 3 hit ac 0
3rd round miss and hit ac 3 with my flail for 6.

Yes I want the light back. Ok, I'm not interested in fighting the rats, they suck. I am only going after Ratmen. When I drop mine I'm moving to take care of Theodores.
-----Animal Friends clarification
Did we decide to use 2 1st level spells for berries? I thought we were using the Engineering solution (beer drinking hats) instead. If we used the Eng solution, I still have Animal Friends memorized.

I was thinking I could cast Animal Friends on an animal, and it would deactivate the spider bot until I dismissed the other animal friend and re-cast Animal Friendship on the bot. How tough does the dog look? I guess the bot is probably more powerful than it is. But the dog seems cool, and it seems like the bot will be a PITA to repair. I was thinking that any opportunity to rest (like when we rest to full) I would have enough time to repair the bot to full.

Me on my ratman:
BR 11 hits AC 3 for 6 pts.

Spider bot on its ratman:
BR 14 hits AC 0 for 4 pts (x2).
BR 1 (BR 3).

Do ranged people get 1 free round of shots as they close? I think that would make sense. If so, here is my free round:
Me on my ratman:
BR 5
BR 20 hits for 16 pts (booyah!).

Bot on its ratman:
BR 12 hits AC 2 for 6 pts (x2).
  It's A Rat Man's World
Those of you who make the WIS check... you're not alone down here. Well obviously, but I mean besides the dog and the rats and the vermin and stuff. Faint sounds of footsteps ahead of you as you journey through the mucky depths, even the echo of a soft whisper, barely audible above your own racket. Hmm.


KT drops an Animal Friendship on the two-headed great dane.

Er, no, wait, of course he doesn't. One, because KT doesn't have Animal Friendship memorized. Two, even if he did, there'd be no effect, because as previously discussed, the Spiderbot has used up all of KT's Animal Friends slots.

You guys shrug and head right, following the rats.

Not too far after that, the tunnel opens into a large, moss-covered room. Dirty water pours down from a couple drainholes, and pools above a large grate. Off to the side, a ladder descends.

You go down deeper.

Soon, you're in a natural cavern. The squeaking of rats, and patter of rat feet, and roar of water nearby are all almost deafening. Hundreds of little bright eyes glimmer in the lamplight. You prepare your weapons as the horde of rats parts, and another host of giant rats charge you, ready to feast on your blood. With them are a pack of ratmen, wielding ancient, rusted metal weapons!

Just like last time, except each of you has two giant rats and one ratman on you. Initiative yours.


Thak, okay, you cover a rag in not exactly mint chip. How's peanut work for you?

When you're down there though, the nutty smell and general stickiness of peanut ice cream takes on a whole new dimension. Maybe 'ice cream' wasn't the right form for scent covering.


Az, just to be clear, House Alaheim isn't offering to help expand the hole. The Lord Count tells you he'll negotiate to get the current block removed but- Twilos is weird about actual construction. Especially when the surface is involved. Smells like 'escape' to everyone, and that makes all sides nervous.
Is that drow elf saying "...I shall fight to have the rays of the sun touch the cave again?" Interesting.
  Theodore Koppel
Awww... how precious!

How's that dog? Can we pass now?
Wis check crushed with a 10, as usual.

I drop an Animal Friendship on the dog...any result?
to answer the questions left unanswered. I think that Tut and Theo should fight for the ownership of the crystals and once that is done I shall fight them for ownership, then a bartender can fight me and well...

missed my wis check.

We go to the right. We aren't down here to kill great danes......yet.

Do we have mint or vanilla at the ice cream factory? Whatever thing I can find to soak a rag in I will, so I don't have to smell this shit. I also write a little note to the barkeep that he better have a very nice bath waiting and hot for me when I return......this just is not my kind of thing. I don't think cavaliers are meant to be here in Twilos. I take the time to have a shot of something very stiff before I head back down.

Azoth...I use my skywriting at some point to have a conversation with you.

"I think we should open the hole in the roof up ourselves. What kind of help can they really be in opening a larger hole? Perhaps that is something to talk to them about. These are Drow you are dealing with, not necessarily lovers of your god, the Lord of Light. Don't get me wrong we could probably use their help, but you are the only priest of the Sun God here, perhaps instead of your serving them, they could take a step as a symbolic gesture of joint interest, without you pledging alligence to them. One cannot serve two masters as the saying goes. Either way I shall fight to have the rays of the sun touch the cave again."
  Blonde Chick With A Bald Eagle

Sigh, the things I gotta do for this blog.
  It's A Big Deal To A Gnome- EDIT: Count Downer
EDIT: Again I missed some Az priest stuff. We do that here.

Okay, one outta three checks. Well, what you lack in charm, you make up for by... well, by being the only priest of Apollo in these parts. House Alaheim will make you a deal.

They'll patrol the cavern to the shrine, get the hole opened, and even give you a mage-enchanted Continual Light stone as a permanent addition to the shrine.

Here's the catch- you're going to be one of the House priests. Whenever they need curing, or water purified or stuff, you do it. They'll be using your spells a few times weekly.

Your contact in the House is the Lord Count Downer Alaheim. The Lord Count assures you that the House Contract- essentially its mission statement and list of business dealings- is perfectly in line with the portfolio of the Sun King. "We've long supported the arts here in the sunless city. Perhaps we could work together to breathe some new life into the community here, n'est-pas?"

Agreeing to this will also preclude you from seeking sponsorship, membership, or any kind of ship from any other house. Hmm.


Dag, no, about 30 minutes passed. Enough time to eat a few stale pretzels, wander around Oft and get a couple spells cast on you, then back in the hole.

Theo, well, what can I tell you. That's between you two. Then again, the course of events went something like this:
1) Combat starts.
2) Theo leaves combat, hangs out at bar, examines crystals.
3) Combat ends, Theo 'peeks' back down to check things out. Here I'm guessing the party hooks back up.
4) Thus: once you head out to pawn the crystal, everyone else is there too. Plus, your un-diseasing came from Tut's pals at The Greenhouse.

Not a big deal I'm sure though.
Wisdom Check BR11 makes it.

Rob, how much time passed before we made our Descent into Depths? I am hoping enough time lapsed for us to rest up for some more spells.. If so, I drop another CLW on Thak for 4.
  Theodore Koppel
Yeah, the whole "selling the crystal" wasn't exactly announced to the party, Mr. Tut.

But, sure. Knock yourself out. This one's on me.

Hmm. Big dog. Mr. Druid?
  I Guess A Raise Dead For Banjo Is Too Much To Ask
Okay Theo and Tut, you're disease free. Theo gets a bow and 30 arrows in the bargain, but you got no more pretty gems. Gems for germs, ha! Sniff, Banjo would've loved that one.


You enter the nasty Twilos sewers, and start trekking through the muck and waste. God it reeks down here. Rats and other creepy vermin scatter at your presence.

WIS checks everyone.

You travel through the grime for about five minutes or so, following the trail of scampering rats down the main tunnel, ignoring small side passages- most of them too small for even Theo to fit in. Eventually you come to a crossroads of sorts.

To the right, the rats continue to hurry.

To the left, however, the corridor is generally free from rats and other vermin. You can see why. On two spikes set in the ground are carcasses of the largest rats you've ever seen. Each is easily the size of a child. Just past the spikes- just out of eating range, you'd assume- is a huge beast chained up to the wall. It looks like a massive great dane, only with two silently drooling heads. It sniffs the air at your arrival, and bares its blackened, gore-encrusted teeth at you.

Yeah, it's chained up, but clearly at the end of a long length of chain. If you get too close, who knows what will happen? And, a thought occurs to you- who or what chained that thing up here, and why?

Right with the rats, or left towards the beast?
ok, we descend into the depths.

Anyone got a heal for the frontline fighter? If not I'm eating my better berries to bring me to full.
  King Tut
Ok, I take the other crystal from TK and sell it for a Cure. Since if the crystals are only going to be sold, they are essentially cash, and should be split up by the party as usual.

"Good point Mr. Koppel. Thanks for the crystal."

Disease cured, and ready to go.
  Theodore Koppel
Yeah, that seems like a good idea. The disease shouldn't be full blown for days. Heh, I feel so silly.

Uh, no. Sorry Mr. Tut, I respect your own choice, but I am generally proactive when it comes to my health. -It's the most important thing, you know.

I will sell the red crystal (yellow is my favorite color) and get the cure and the new bow. I use my street skillz, BR:3, to get my quiver refilled up to 30 arrows in the bargain. -"You must have overlooked the wispy stuff inside, Sir..."

That being accomplished (which should only take a couple of hours, I hope), I am ready to sewer stomp.
  A Noble Quest
Yeah, the rat plague won't really kick in for hrs to days. You guys are 'good to go'. The druids are happy to hand off a -1 bow and wish you luck in your quest for cheap booze and rat death.

There you go Theo.
Can I borrow a -1 bow from my druid buddies, and we'll keep going? Diseases usually take awhile to incubate.
  Banjo We Hardly Knew Ye
Sh-Ping! KT shoots that last rat, whose name was Banjo, dead. Banjo will be sorely missed and is survived by his 83 children, 245 grandchildren, and 1048 great-grandchildren.

Dag and Az drop some Cures. KT, you try to bang out some of the frame and paint damage to the spiderbot. Looks like they bent a rim. Full healing of this thing will take some time and a bit more cash, but you cure 1 hp.

If you believe the bartender, if you leave now and take too much time to get un-diseased and make a bow, the rats will just come back and we'll have to do this all over again. Up to you.

Theo, you could trade one of those crystals for a quick Cure Disease plus a new -0 shortbow. Or you could pay in cash: 40 gp for the spell, 15 gp for the bow.

Az: 12/13 hp + diseased
Banjo: -10/8 hp, dead
Dag: 8/14
KT: 19/22 + diseased
Spiderbot: 33/37
Thaka: 22/30
Theo: 8/10 + diseased
Thren: 9/10
I drop three CLWs.

On Azoth for 6
On Theo for 5
On me for 4

I hate rats.
I shoot the last rat as it flees.
BR 18 hits for 6 pts.
BR 13 hits AC 1 for 4 pts.

I'll also repair the robot post-combat. BR 7.
  Theodore Koppel
Ok party, I think we need some timeout to get rid of this disease. KT, do you have any pull with your druids?

Also, how much to get a new shortbow?

Then we can open that stinky grate.
Some CHA checks:
BR 6
BR 9
BR 12

That's one passed, two failed.

1d10 BR 10 for anyone walking by.

Ugh, great, the HIV. What a day. I cure myself BR 5.
  Rat Battle Is Over
Alright Az, you're up at 1 hp with the rat AIDS. Apollo really isn't into rats and sewers and stuff, so you're on your own for this one.

Thak and the robot take on the three rats on Azoth. In the two rounds, you drop 'em all, but the robot takes a couple more pts of dmg.

Dag- nicely done. In three rounds, you kill three rats. But, that first round, you get two nasty bites, plus another one in the second round. You take 10 hp total. No, you don't have to save vs AIDS, but I appreciate the rolls. (It's only on a nat 20 that they disease.)

The last rat (on KT) turns and flees. The other swarm of normal rats scatter into the cracks and darkness down below.

Az: 1/13 hp + diseased!
Dag: 4/14
KT: 19/22 + diseased!
Spiderbot: 32/37
Theo: 3/10 + diseased! ESCAPED, bowless
Thaka: 22/30
Thren: 9/10


Azoth, I forgot to reply to your temple-building post below. Okay, for your month, you clean up the shrine nicely. Your 'congregation' consists of the few travellers who made their way out to the shrine, to see the light. But that's over now. Some destitutes still come around from time to time though. For help, you ask around at the Houses, and finally House Alaheim might agree to help you out, but gimme three CHA checks first, and roll 1d10 to see who's coming by the shrine.

Also, you seem to be the only priest of Apollo here. No other priest would dare come and cast a spell in another god's shrine. When you get 3rd circle (5th level), you can continual light it up though. But maybe soon Theo or KT could help out in their own way?


Theo, okay, the yellow and red crystals seem to be quite valuable. Up top, you're sure you could get 100 gp easy for either. Down here, maybe a quarter to half that? A faint mist swirls inside each.

Huygens munches on some stale pretzels with you. "Ya mate, bloody mess down 'ere, innit? If you and yours be serious about takin care o those little buggers for me, you better press on. They'll just be back, and in greater numbers next time. Trust me, I've tried before."

Shining light around the cellar, you see at the back, a large grate that leads down into the sewers of Twilos. As if this stinking, dirty city couldn't get much worse. Does your adventure lead there?
Rat Round 1:
BR 5 - oof
BR 12 - hits AC 7 for 8 points

Rat Round 2:
BR 16 hits AC 3 for 7 points
BR 9 hits AC 10 for 6 points

Rat Round 3:
BR 14 hits AC 5 for 5 points
BR 18 hits AC 1 for 10 points

Damn rats... I hate rats... especially giant rats. I'm sure one of these little bastards is going to land a bite, so here's my saves: BR10, BR17, BR12 - BOO YAH! no disease on me!

"Thren, do you realize these sons of bitches might be LYCANTHROPES?!?!" (I am trying to enrage my comrade)
  Theodore Koppel
Thanks, Huygens. Hey could you slide those pretzels down a bit? Thanks.

Hey, Rob, while I am at the bar, I appraise those yellow and red crystals I got from Barnabas. BRs:6,13. I've got appraisal and that makes IQ twice.

After I finish my Hennessy and Coke, I peek down to see how the gang is doing. Uh, guys, if we are going to continue into the sewers of Twilos, I need a new bow. -And some galoshes.

Maybe a Cure Disease too.
So Azoth is at 0 no?

I give him a goodberry and stand over him for a round keeping the rats off. That should bring him conscious.

Next round I attack the rats near him.
Longsword 14 for 7, flail well lives up to it's name.
round after that keeps on keepin on.
longsword 2/15 for 2, flail 20 for 10.
how many rats are left total after all this?
BR 7. Fuck. Looks like I won't be building any temples any time soon. Any chance I can get one of those d100 rolls to see if my deity intervenes? BR 37. Nevermind.
CLW Az for 7. Sorry Az, didn't notice you had dropped.

I send the spider bot to pick up Az's rats.
  Az Alert
Okay, you kill another rat, leaving one rat on you, who bites you for 1 more hp! The spiderbot manages to kill the last of the critters on it.

You kill the two new rats on you, but you also get bitten for 1 hp.

The rats start eating Az, who's none the better for it. Az drops to -7 and will probably be dead very soon unless someone helps him out there.

Az: -7/13 hp + diseased? 3 rats
Dag: ?? 3 rats
KT: 19/22 + diseased! 1 rat
Spiderbot: 34/37
Theo: 3/10 + diseased! ESCAPED, bowless
Thaka: 22/30
Thren: 9/10
First off - why look outside the party for a producer? Some of us have new NWPs - some of us even have a new NWP specifically in producing. I been dinking around with all that gear for the last month - well, and making a couple of bows for this guy I know - and I think I can get some Awesome Sound outta it. I mean, check this out. If you cross-plug this cable into the mixing box and then - and this is the good part - run the mic in TWICE into here - listen to that feedback! I'm bankin' the kids'll love it. No - not on every track - keep 'em hungry for it.

Second of all - here's the next three rounds of combat:

BR 19, 8, which hit AC -5 and 6, for 5 and 6 points respectively.

BR 2, 10 which hit AC 12 and 4. Let's call that one hit for 8 points.

BR 12, 12 which both hit AC 2 for 5 and 5 points.
Our party sucks at combat.

Here's 2 more rounds from me and the bot.
BR 8 hits AC 10 for 4 pts, BR 19 hits for 6 pts.
BR 8 hits AC 10 for 6 pts, BR 7 misses.

BR 4 misses
BR 11 hits AC 3 (I think) for 4 pts (x2).
  Today Huygens Has Your Standard Irish Barkeep Accent, And A Forest Green Vest
Thaka, don't worry about that long string of misses, you kill the rats off before they get another hit on you.

Theodore, comin' right up. Huygens probably doesn't mean to look smug, but he does give you kind of a "hey, you thought it was just rats, but I told you so" kind of look. Drink's on the house, in any case, and "och, that looks nasty. Little bugger bit ya one, did 'e? Better get that taken care of."
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

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