Brogg:
What?! We win? We have a castle and a farm and a summer home?
MY GOD IS BACK?!!
Aw Damn....
Tha name is Brogg
B.R.O double G
Givin' mad love to Grisbane
Cause he gives it to me
You think I look strange?
Dissin' my twin ancestry?
Well these two halves can make
a lotta trouble for thee
Straight outta Grito
I made Greetles tha mayor
Got a rep in Durth
As a Unicorn slayerAt the cold cuts?
I dropped rhymes like the rain
Raised hands like the dead
Poppin' MCs like champagne
In tha' Castle of Greyhelm
Tha royal family is slain
Along with some nasties
An' a they librarian insane
And where's tha KOA?
They took tha last plane
Heard Brogg dropped some smack
On they freaky glass plane
And so now I'm back
With my incredible crew
Ready to do
what Big G want's me to
You thought I might retire
Golf and a cruise?
Man, fuck tha fat lady
This is my debut!
I got's things on my plate
I got places to be
Hey, you can hate tha playa
But Brogg's gone NPC!
Brogg takes a few days to chill out and reflect. However, after about a week, he packs up and sees who is with him for the next adventure.
Brogg is going to the Arena of Kryss to do some cross-training. After that, he's off to find Grettin and Shettin to see what needs to be done.
The Real End
Guys, if you haven't, kindly go over to DiD Table Talk, where we're talking about the next game. So far, Mark, Dave, and Justin have all said they'd like to start with new 1st level characters. I think that's a capital idea, but Paul, Steve, and Steve, please chime in.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Hmmm. We already rolled for the d10 peasants, unless these are NEW peasants. Several of them, last we heard, had converted to following Odin, and I believe one of them was even a first level priest!
I am fine, as Odin's High Priest, becoming mostly an NPC, with some occasional side-quests, but I'll leave it up to the rest of y'all. Maybe get a couple of different story-arcs kicking, or even keep with these guys, and do a second blog?
You know, Rob, in your copious free time.
THE END
Whoops, sorry guys. You should've brought back Ron Ball. Hmm, thought it was obvious.
...
(Just kidding. Please start three posts down, 'The End', and then to G1, and then G2.)
G2: Gorgos
The scene: a small celebration at the remains of old Castle Greyhelm, in the Solarium.
The people: all of you, plus Ronald Greetles esq., Gregolas Half-Elven, ZOM-G the last Knight of Armek, Stanislaus the Illusionist the General Store Merchant, and Otto the Otyugh,
After some small talk, “great to see you agains”, some food and drink, Greetles explains the situation.
“Hello there sirs. Well, it’s been a while.” You guys do some math and figure out you were in the mirror world for… five months?
“Yeah, you were gone a while. No, I don’t know what happened. There’s a weird time thing in the mirror world it sounds like from your last adventures there- one day per hour, more or less, but you were gone even longer than one would expect from that.”
“After it had been a year, I decided to get to work myself. I made it here to Castle Greyhelm, but don’t really recall what happened. Gregolas and company then followed about a week later, that is, about a week ago they left, and got here, well, now. Found you all asleep, and saved me from a horrible fate.” Gregolas, Stanislaus, and Otto nod. Greg and Stan ‘high-five’.
“So, we’re basically it for Grito and Greyhelm. Durth is a domed citadel of the Monks of Progress now. Everyone else- those who survived the war raged by the Knights- fled to Gorgos, capital city of the Northern Island Kingdom. Oh yes, right. The Knights of Armek are gone, far as we can tell. No sign of that strange tower they were building either, just a huge crater there.”
“I’ve been in contact with the New Order of Responsible Magic-Users, ‘NORM’. They helped me, uh, make a scroll to seal off that thing.” He points to the Magic Mirror.
“The mirror still works, still does all that stuff, but no longer connects to wherever it was you were. Now it simply is part of a two-way teleporter to a modest apartment I’ve been renting in Gorgos. Nothing special, just a walk-up in the Merchant’s Quarter on the main island. Gorgos is something else, truly a magical city, and once you’ve settled in and rested, I’ll take you over there and show you around.”
…
You take several nights to recover and muse on prior events. A few things occur to you. For one, Zelba no longer seems to have your souls. Priests, you are returned to the service of your original gods.
Two, this castle is yours, at least for the time being. You heard that the Greyhelm family moved to Gorgos, but then who did you kill here? Rename the castle if you wish. Also, you’re not alone here in Castle Greyhelm. 1d10 of the peasants from mini-Greyhelm stayed on, and help you out during your stay here. (However, some of the others retreated with mad King John Romeo, who has reclaimed his crown, into the dungeons where they’ve staked out their own domain. Sigh, another potential problem, who’s solution may be your swords.)
Otto stays in the castle as gardener. Zom hangs out too. Greetles will, although he has business in Gorgos these days as well. Gregolas prefers Shady Orchards, as that’s where his giant flatscreen is. Stanislaus has a store to run.
Finally, you have a lot of choices now. Not just around Grito and Greyhelm, whatever that holds, but a whole new continent to explore. I’ll provide a list at the end and a map later.
…
When you want, Greetles takes you through the magic mirror to Gorgos, shining jewel of the Northern Island Kingdoms.
Gorgos is the largest, and southernmost city in the Sea Kingdoms. It consists of dozens of small islands surrounding three large central islands. As huge as Greyhelm, but much more elegant, at least the parts that Greetles shows you. There’s also a serenity about it, what with all the water and open space.
There’s a lot going on here. All the religions are represented, and there’s stuff afoot. You know how it goes. But I purposely don’t want to drop a bunch of rumors and palace intrigue right in your laps here. Besides, you guys have read enough.
So here’s some stuff that remains to do around Grito and Greyhelm and the game, in no particular order:
1) rebuild the Castle. Mad King Romeo and a legion of monsters have sealed themselves in the cellars, too. The nerve of some people.
2) repopulate lovely Greyhelm and Grito. 1d10 crazy peasants does not a nation make.
3) and what’s up with Durth and the Monks of Progress anyway?
4) help Stanislaus reclaim his title as Master of the Tower of Illusion.
5) the Arena of Kyuss in Nyuss City of Spiders. Push button, fight monster, get treasure. I know you love it.
Note that NONE of these things you have to do… I’m simply consolidating a bunch of open stuff for your perusal. There’s some more, but it’s late and I’ve written too much.
Oh, and one more thing. XP and treasure. Special training is again free, so remember to take your extra +2 hp and a NWP…
Brogg can train to 7th level fighter.
Dave FoO can train to 8th level cleric.
Marivhon can train to 7th monk.
Moth can train to 5th fighter, 5th magic-user, 6th thief
Schmektor can train to 7th fighter.
Tut can train to 7th bushi.
Or make new guys. Please see table talk for a more full exposition about that. I’m leaving it to the individual.
What treasure you got was:
Vrill’s potion bag, containing 1d10 potions; the bag itself is magical
Ron Ball’s mace
A magic compass
A magic key
Vrill’s family ring
The big drill
…
Most importantly: congratulations again. Take some time, discuss, think about what you want to do… no, scratch that, just start posting and doing things!
G1: The Gregolas Adventure
Chapter 1: Awakenings
Once upon a time, Gregolas Half-Elven was damn hungry. He clutched his stomach and groggily rolled out of bed, dragging some off-colored sheets with him a few feet. Strange dreams from the night before rolled in his head and caused him to momentarily stumble.
“What the… what time is it?” Rubbing his eyes. “Damn I’m hungry. See if the Greet left any of that stew from last night, which equals crazy delicious.” Going down the stairs. “Yo Greetles, what’s… Uh, hello? G? You here?”
The cottage was quiet. “Huh. Shit, no stew.” The place was immaculate, except for a thin layer of dust over everything. Gregolas drew a big ‘G’ on the counter with a finger. “Uh oh… uh, what day is it?” he mused. That’s when he spied the note.
Dear Gregolas,
If you have found this note, it means I have failed in my quest. I have journeyed to Greyhelm Castle in search of our friends, with what I hope shall be a appropriate solution to our woes, thanks to the research of certain acquaintances of mine.
It is up to you. Please come A.S.A.P. to the Castle if you can. I will try to place the necessary information within the Great Library there; the secret password should be obvious.
Yours truly,
Ronald Greetles, Esq.
“Great.”
…
Chapter 2: The Fall of the Mighty
“Hey there Stan, what’s shakin’?”
Gregolas stood with his nice new backpack in Stanislaus the Illusionist’s general store. Stanislaus, wearing a loud red leather apron, was arranging the unbought feedbags and mentally computing his costs and gains over the last month.
“Hello there Mr. Half-Elven, heh heh. Nice to see you. Nice weather we’re having, n’est-pas ca? I can’t complain sir. No business is bad business, but that’s business, as we merchants say, ha ha!”
The months had not treated the Illusionist kindly. “Inmates taken over the asylum,” as Stanislaus put it, he had been usurped by a cunning ogre-mage and his succubus consort. Trying to recoup some of his costs, and make himself useful to the community, Stanislaus opened a general store just down the road from the once-grand Tower of Illusion, its top now draped in stormclouds.
“Sucks about that Tower shit,” Gregolas offered. “Any word on how that’s going?”
“Well sir that’s a most interesting question. Let’s just say that, hmm… there have been some interesting, some intriguing developments, and that Stanislaus the Illusionist does not take defeat lightly. ‘I have not yet begun to cast illusions!’”
Gregolas didn’t really get it, but tried to console his pal. “Hang in there dude. I’m gonna go save my buds, you know, go on an adventure? It’s gonna be frickin’ sweet. Gregolas to the rescue and all that.”
“Nice, my friend. Your time has surely come”
“Yup.”
“Hmm.”
“Anyway, you don’t got any potions, scrolls of Power Words, Staves of Insanely Great Shit and shit like that do ya? Pair of +1 Sneaks maybe? I mean, I’m only like a 2nd level dude, coupla Cure Lights, proficiency in club. Already on my way here I had to do the whole duck and cover roll those dice things with a bugbear with a big ass bow. Come on yo, I’m a pacifist and vegan and shit, I really don’t do the whole butcher some demons and grab the Gem of Power thing.”
“Yes, I see your dilemma. Alas my good sir, ‘+1 Sneaks’ I have none of. 10’ poles, 50’ rope, a lantern or two mayhaps.” The Illusionist’s eyes sparkled. “But my friend, perhaps it is not what you need, but rather whom. Gems of Power, I have known some,” Stanislaus said cryptically.
Gregolas beamed. “Hell yeah, it’s like that Ultima game from back in the old school day! Wilt thou JOIN me, uh, good sir? It’s on. Grab all the 10 foot poles you got son, let’s raise hella in the delta!”
…
Chapter 3: Sights and Sounds
Stanislaus surveyed the ruins of Greyhelm from the top of an old cathedral. “We walk amongst the wastes my friend, heh heh. Those formidable foes, the Knights, have fled this place for parts unknown. Say a prayer to your Great Grisbane that we see them not.”
“I hear that bro.”
…
Chapter 4: Friends New and Old“Interesting; the Castle obeys Obermann’s Principle: as goes the inside, so goes the outside. This place is no Castle, rather a grave.”
“I second that emotion. This place gives me the creeps Scoob. Let’s find the frickin biblioteca, our pals, and GTFO.”
The two NPCs made their way through the Castle, defeating a couple foes and dodging others and generally having a 4th level adventure.
“Shit, man, what the hell is that thing?”
“Heh heh, hmm… I dare say that’s an otyugh, brave half-elf. A cunning, trash-eating adversary. Let us approach with caution; I shall prepare a mighty Chromatic Orb.”
Otto the Otyugh, meanwhile, was busy tending to his mold garden, munching on a bit of garbage. It sensed the two NPCs walking up to it. “Oh hey there. Uh, oh, damn. You guys know a guy named Tut?”
Gregolas (in slack-jawed amazement): “Tut? You mean Tot? Holy shit this thing is talking to us Stan?”
Stanislaus (not paying attention to Gregolas but pondering the question put before him): “King Tut, as in the ancient Egyptian Boy-King, who once..?”
Otto (impatient after months, and interrupting): “Uh, no, this crazy account guy named Tut. Or you know where Brogg and Dave and…”
“Hey you know them too?”
And so it was that the party increased in number from two to three. Up to the Library, where Gregolas sat and stewed, while Stanislaus typed in all manner of arcane terms, enthralled with the new-found source of trivia knowledge. “Take heed my good Gregolas, did you know that Lord Greyhelm’s son was a cross-dresser at the Boutiques des Diaboliques?” “Uh, say what?” Otto read the note, wandered over to another terminal and typed in the obvious password, revealing there Greetles’ detailed notes and instructions, and the hiding spot of The Magic Scroll. So they got The Scroll, went upstairs, freed Greetles from a gelatinous cube (“thanks guys, wow, nice work Greg, hi there Stanislaus”, “sure thing G, let’s wrap up this bitch!”), and finally, at the end of an extremely long day, made their way up the The Solarium.
“Holy sweet buttery Jesus. Look, it’s whats-their-faces!”
Greetles wasted no time, and read The Magic Scroll. “Welcome back, sirs. I think some explanation is order.”
The End
Dave, Fist of Odin, resurrects Sarah DeVaunet.
Vrill’s eyes widen in disbelief. He’s about to give a final monologue, but is momentarily caught off-guard. You all watch for a second as the young woman rises to her feet, moths returning to flit around her head. She stretches, looks around, takes a few steps towards Gregory Vrill, kisses him on the cheek, and he falls to his knees screaming. When it stops, Vrill is much reduced- just the broken, bitter shell of a poor failure of a man.
But not dead. That, apparently, is your job.
…
Sarah’s work done, she ignores the lot of you, and begins to uncreate Croatius’ realm. Hedges begin to dissolve.
You shake out of a momentary daze, along with Vrill, and re-re-commence the final fight.
All things in fairy tales come in threes, and so it is here- three actors, three avatars of Zelba, three deaths of Croatius and Gregory Vrill, and finally, three rounds left of combat. But not against Vrill the demi-god, or arch-mage, or whatever. Just a guy low on hp and spells. It’s over in three more rounds, given the rolls you’ve got, and what Vrill has left in spells and potions.
You, or those of you still alive, slaughter him, as the world around you disappears. You finally attend to this upon Vrill’s final, ultimate, once-and-fucking-for-all death.
…
You realize what’s happening here- the annihilation of the world, and in true PC form, you do the only logical thing: start grabbing treasure. (And the bodies of your dead friends.) Sarah waves to you and smiles, and all goes dark…
…
[Congratulations, all. Job well done, everyone. This concludes the module and the (first) DiD campaign.]
Dave, Fist of Odin
I ressurect the dead girl on the ground. I also get ready to mime back anything anyone might do. Let's see what happens!
I toss a plant growth potion on the hedges for my next action.
King Tut, Who Can Beat The Phoenix in a Game of Horseshoes....A GAME OF HORSESHOES
Nice call on the lotus Dfoo. I say we rez the dead chick and let her tcob. Vrill said he "needed 3 deaths, and only has 2." Well how about we set him back yet another one.
Dave, Fist of Odin
I have the ability to ressurect someone?
Hokay. It's 5:45 pm here in Portland. At midnight, I'm-a gonna ressurect someone. There are several possibilities.
a) That dead girl.
b) Marivhon.
c) Vrill/Croatius.
d) a dead Priest of Jesus.
Let me know what you think, if you have any opinions, or if you think I should wait - what I do is shout something like "I ate the lotus and I can bring a guy back", see if anyone has anything to say, and then do it, in my round.
I'm leaning towards using it on the Big Bad here, but two of those other folks seem like good options, too.
I'm not talking about any priests of Jesus, but one never knows what'll happen after a bottle of wine and night of video games.
Wait a sec - I got fireballed and I drank a healing potion right away! Please refer to my post - I'm back at full (I made my SR and then healed to full). Have I taken other damage?
On The Abilities Of Dead Girls To Eat Lotus
They can't.
Please see the post below (on 10.27.06 entitled Hmm...):
http://descentintodepths.blogspot.com/2006_10_22_descentintodepths_archive.html...
Okay Dave FoO, you pop it into your mouth and survive. The White Lotus grants you a permenent +1 to all saves, and the ability to Resurrect someone, one time. If you ever eat White Lotus again, you'll die no save.
You then try throwing Weed Killer on Vrill. More than anything else, this pisses him off. "
Oh that's just great. Nice going jerk. You totally RUINED my robes. What the hell are you guys doing anyway? What's your plan, try to increase my chances of getting skin cancer in a few years? You dirty son of a bitch, I'm gonna KILL you NEXT. Say hi to Marivhon and pals back down in Hello."
Dave FoO, if you're gonna do something, this is the round. You're about to get both Vrill barrels, and you didn't heal from the previous fireball.
Later in the round (still round 2), the combined wrath of the party kills Vrill again. He stands up, looking worse and even more mad if possible. Still just about to cast on Dave FoO...
Schmektor
is marivon dead, dead? or like unconcious, as in I could still pour his healing potion down his throat?
If I can't save Marivhon, I attack cock gobbler some more:
Round 4(?): BR 11 (hits AC 0) for 9
Round 5(?): BR 15 and BR 20!!!!
We're drainin' some levels bitch! anyway, 7(BR2 +5) points and 20(BR5 +5 x2) points more damage.
What else do I need to roll to steal life?
Brogg:
If we are in round 4, I chop Vrill twice more.
BRs:8,20. That 8 hits AC:2 for 12. The 20 hits him for 22.
Taste the WRATH OF GRISBANE you sonofabitch!!!
King Tut
I also activate ZOMG. IQ check BR 3, d% = 40.
If nothing happens when we give the lotus to the dead girl, why don't we save it?
Dave, Fist of Odin
I give the white lotus to the dead girl, and throw the weed killer on Vrill. Let me know what happens - I'd like to actually get some inside him, but I figure straight-up combat's not the way to go here.
If nothing happens, I eat it. Two saves, BR15, BR 12 - makes 'em both.
Then, if things aren't resolved, I pour some plant-growth potion around, some on R-B, some on the hedges.
That's - what. Three, four rounds? Rob, I'll let you make the call how long it takes. Let me know if you want any rolls, or clarification, but that's what I'm doing, so I'm cool with just making it happen.
The White Lotus
Okay Tut, you survive the fireball. Moth, sorry, you don't. Tut, you hit Vrill also, quickening him towards his grave. Or re-death, whatever.
A white lotus sprouts. You pluck it. Now what? (Remember, if someone eats it, please give me two saves vs poison.)
King Tut
I BR a 20 for my save, I didn't see a fireball cast though and I thought I was reading posts pretty carefully.
I vote we go white...I mean, white is stereotypical life and we all love stereotypes right?
Anyways, I attack Vrill for BR 8 which hits AC 3 (have I hit level 7 yet??) for 5 pts of dmg. That's only if I can attack and still do whatever lotus stuff is required.
Moth
If the other guys aren't running, neither am I. Consider the 10 damage from earlier dealt. If I'm alive, I dunno.
I think you said I had to make an Int check. Here's that: 20. Failed spectacularly.
If I have to make any saves, here are some BRs: 8, 16, 19.
A Small Statement
Come on guys, you can do this. We can end this tonight. Just one more round might be all you need.
Brogg:
Note, I hit Vrill in Rounds one (13 points), two (26 points) and three (14 more).
FINAL FIGHT RELOADED, ROUND 2
[CORRECTED for round 2 re-ordering and smack talk.]
Dave FoO, just to be clear, in the three pre-combat rounds, you 1) got the lotus seed, 2) planted it, and poured a potion of plant growth on it, and 3) watched it grow (took no official action). Then at the end of Round 1, either a black or white lotus sprouts, it's Tut's call, but feel free to offer your opinions, educated or otherwise.
Vrill goes last each round, so get your actions in while you can.
End of Round 1, Marivhon dies. Haven't seen Tut's saving throw for the fireball, but I think he's conscious in either case, albeit maybe just barely.
...
Round 2.
Brogg kills Greg Vrill.
...
Vrill stands back up, looking the worse for wear, and laughs. "
Hoo hoo! Told you so! I TOLD you SO!" He's up and casting again, spell to go off in the bottom of the round.
"
Hey, look at that? I killed Marivhon. I KILLED Marivhon! Ha ha! What a loser. Nice save dork. I guess the power of your god couldn't help you. Maybe that 5 WIS finally caught up with you. Or, nope, it's just my FIREBALL that caught up to you. Ha ha, oh wow. That's really grea... OOF"
Schmektor runs back into the melee and smacks him some.
(It looks like ex-Marivhon has a lot of potions left, so feel free to scavenge from the dead.)
Dave, Fist of Odin
I believe a previous posting had a list of what each lotus did. I'll 'consult my god' and see if I can figure it out.
My vote would be to bring the dead girl back if we can, but getting a death lotus? Getting a life lotus? Giving one or the other to Vrill?
I dunno. So far, if we have three pre-combat rounds:
I pour a plant-growth potion on the lotus seed. Sproing! Round one.
And then . . . . suggestions? I'ma gonna post some actions later this afternoon unless I get a shout.
Schmektor
WTF? - over
I thought we were going to try to solve a puzzle or something... -what-thefuck-ever.
After the fireball goes off, I realize that despite Dave FoO's attempts to swing the vote, Brogg and Mar had decided their actions. I charge into battle. repost of my battle rolls - just shifted rounds:
Round 2: BR 15 (hits AC-4) for 13 (BR 8 +5) points.
Round 3: Assuming I am still alive BR 18 and BR 19 for 20 points(BR 3 +5 & BR 7 +5)
I am the ill Schmektor and I'm here to say
We bring the skullfuckery (no Brogg is not gay,
I know he ref'renced greece but he was makin a point)
Ain't no way your lich ass is leavin this joint
You dis my man Moth and make fun of his name,
And a fireball?? a fireball?! psh... LAME
I got a few words for your rottin' corpse head
"lie down, surrender, cuz bitch... YOU DEAD!"
Brogg:
Vrill, you lost your flava
And now I'm askin you a favor
Let me be you're savior
Just sign this waiver
I'll release you from that geas
Jus' smoke my pipe of peace
Yeah, down on yo knees
Make like you was in Greece
You used to be a villian
But now you just illin'
An these rhymes are penicillin
How's does it feel, Bob Dylan?
Just think about this G:
What if you kick our ass?
Your big reward is this land of glass?
Your skinny ass and the KoA mass?
Yeah, you'll be be top-dog
But not high-on-the-hog
Sounds kinda shitty to Brogg
Sorry if I don't read your blog
So G, you choose how to end this impasse
You can be The Eternal Ass of Glass
Or you can surrender with class
Marivhon
a 2, I miss and I'm dead.
An Interesting Question
Tut, with those rolls you really have no specific idea what the different colors do, as loti are considered artifact class flowers. However, you recall reading somewhere in a back issue of
Better Grito Homes and Gardens (a periodical of Greetles' that one of your PC friends had stuffed in their backpack) that black and white loti were colors of
life and death (in no particular order). Too bad you didn't quite get the specifics.
With your checks made, you've got the option of modifying your lotus die roll by 1 in either direction (remember this for the future if you encounter more loti). However, as you rolled a 1 (you can't subtract down to 0, so you stay at 1), that means keeping your 1 (white) or switching to a 2 (black).
So what will it be? White or black lotus?
...
Vrill actually stops and takes notice of this. "
Um..." he stammers, and that's right when the combat begins.
...
Sweet, sweet rhymes there, too.
Dave, Fist of Odin
I beatbox a bit to back Tut's play, but it's not my best work. I'm a bit distracted. Still, phat rhymz there.
Any thoughts on using the weed-killer potion? Using another three plant-growth potions? Pour one on the dead girl, maybe? Spread weed-killer around the garden of thorns?
Tick tick tick...
King Tut, Producer of The Feenix's Latest Album
It takes 4 potions to get me to full. I have 1, and I think Moth or Marivhon mentioned that they have 11. I'd like to use 3 of those and I'll assume it's ok. If not, I rolled a 7+1 = 8pts on my own potion, which would put me at 39/51.
Am I growing the lotus or not? If so, then I BR 1, which is a White lotus. I looked it up. I hope that's a good one. Gold sounds hot. Can I make an Alchemy check to see if White is good, and to try to figure out which color would help us the most? I BR a 5, which makes both Int and Wis. I also made a second check to try to modify the color of the lotus if I can determine what color is best, and I BR a 7 which would succeed. So, 1 check (success) to figure out the best color, and 1 check (success) to try and grow that color. I have the Alchemy NWP, and am an experienced lotus grower--I even wrote a book about it!
I'd also like to add this growing experience to my book. Hopefully someone powerful will want it. I bet there aren't many people who have grown 2 Lotuses.
Who's the missing figure in the statues, the Jester? Anyone have any clue about that?
Reeeeeeeeeeemixxxxxxxxx
Hokusai painted the Great Wave
Detroit used to throw a fine rave
Gratiot and Congress at 6 a.m.
Eddie Fowlkes, Plastikman, I saw them
"Blind Pig" tickets getting dismissed
Drop the tailgate and let me hang my head out, I insisted
When my man Fast Eddie drove the wagon
We all played that game with the Dungeons and the Dragon
But that's back in the day and things've gotten more wack
Vrill, I gots to eat, so time to twist your cap back.
Vrill Hits The Pop Culture Reference Hat Trick
Yeah, taking your pre-combat actions now is fine.
Okay Moth, you re-arrange the corpses. Vrill watches you for two rounds while Dave FoO gardens. Nothing happens when you move the bodies. "
Well you got one right. Oops, now you've got ZERO right. That's the worst game of Mastermind I ever played." At least you're trying a few things, but sadly, it wasn't promising.
The moths move with the girl's corpse from one statue to the next as you reposition her. "
I'd say there was supposed to be some more symbolism with your name and everything, but it's clearly accidental," Vrill says, snickering. "
Besides, this place has enough symbolism in it without you rabble fouling the air. Did your DM pull this module out from his 4th grade Trapper Keeper? The whole 'Magical Girl', 'butterflies of death' stuff is so, SO tired. Go watch Evangelion again, you d20 hack."
You've got another (non-combat) action. Dave FoO, you can act too while you're waiting for your garden to grow, one non-combat round also. Or, just wait and we'll be in Round 1 soon enough.
I'm assuming Moth is then fleeing with Schmektor. Make an IQ check, and tell me if you're going WITH Schmektor, or heading off in a different direction from him. I'll assume you guys fail IQ checks and are going together if I don't hear otherwise.
(Cheers to the 'elves playing cards' reference.)
Moth
Okay, I'm not sure what we can retcon or not at this point, so some conditional actions for Moth:
1) If we can still try to solve the puzzle, I try putting the corpses in front of the corresponding statues... like the girl in front of the statue of the girl, Ron Ball in front of the Jester... now we need a magician... metalman? If that doesn't work, I put them in front of the other three statues. The girl in front of the poppies, Ron in front of the death statue, and the metal guy in front of the statue with the moths/butterflies. Hm.
2) If we can just leave this place, I head off with Schmektor and I think Tut. Us noobs were not meant for such epic battles.
3) If we can't leave or solve the puzzle, I let fly with another spray of fire, hopefully before I'm blasted all to Hello. Maybe dying ain't so bad. I'll get to hang out with Apprentice Steve forever, maybe play cards with some elves... shit.
BR 10 for damage.
Brogg:
BR:18. Chug my last Po. of Healing for 6.
I've got 21 left, I believe.
Two attack's, chummer. BRs:15,11. ACs:-5 and -1. That's 12 and 14 points, respectively.
Grisbane, please help me slay this freak.
Next round, BR:18. Yeah! 14 more.
Die Vrill, DIE!!
A New Lotus Plant
Sure we can rewind. Okay, you grab the lotus seed and plant it. You then dump a Potion of Plant Growth on it. Vrill snickers.
By the time the lotus sprouts, we'll be caught up into Round 1. So go ahead and roll a d8 to see what kind of lotus you grew. You can take it as your action on Round 1 and do whatever you want with it on Round 2.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Ah, okay. We're not going to retcon the combat-start, then?
Well. BR 11 makes my save. (BR 17+5) for a healing potion and I'm back to full. I put the lotus seed in the ground and begin pouring plant-growth potions on it.
FINAL FIGHT RELOADED, ROUND 1
Dave FoO asks a lot of questions, but as far as I can tell, didn't actually do anything, i.e., hasn't performed any actions.
Schmektor flees into the maze.
Brogg and Marivhon attack neo-Vrill.
Brogg hits for 13 and turns on PFE.
Marivhon fumbles, but Vrill just rolls his eyes.
Vrill crosses his arms. "
That good? You guys done here? No really, please. After you. Really? Okay, great. Allow me."
Vrill casts a Fireball point-blank. Everyone but Schmektor, make saves. (Half-breeds still have the Oracle's blessing.) 42 points, save for 21 points. Vrill saves and looks singed.
Schmektor, gimme an IQ check.
Schmektor
ok.... remember how Vrill did it? He brought some chick with him. The chick touched Croatius, then the massive drill dude killed the chick.
We need a chick with a magic death touch. Rob has all but told us... no wait, he did tell us to leave or die... and he told us as Rob, not just as Vrill. Let's swallow some pride and walk. Another day Vrill.
Rob, scratch my previous post. I turn and head back the way we came... through the path that ZOM-G carved.
"I gotta go see a man about a horse..."
I start walkin'.
Marivhon
go for it I'll try and keep him busy.
BR to hit, well a 1 should keep him busy.
ok then a fumble it is.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Garden of Thorns, hey. Hmmm.
"Enough," I cry, "Of clues!"
There is a lotus seed, and a thorn-bush maze, and a Fist of Odin, who - much as he likes the clobbering, is thinking that he ALSO has four plant-growth potions, and a weed-killer potion.
And allow me to refer you to a post by the DM titled 'details' - when we opened the door just before visiting the Oracle. There are two comments to this post - it's about half-way down the page on the 10.8.2006 log.
Look at the first letter of each word on the fourth book.
Hey - I dunno if it's Odin's grace or Zelba's - but I know I'm not the brains here, so it must be some sort of divine inspiration.
We've got - what, a couple of rounds? I can think of a few things to try:
Grow the lotus with a plant growth potion. Maybe? I dunno. It seems like Vrill ate something just before he became V/C - maybe a lotus seed? I kinda don't want to be part of any DFoO/V/C concoction.
Grow the lotus, get a seed, give it to the dead girl. Again, I dunno.
Grow the lotus and KILL it. I doubt this would do anything.
Do something with the lotus, and also start weed-killing some stuff. Like a hedge-maze, or a lotus plant?
Tick tick tick on the Vrill . . . thoughts?
My vote is to grow the lotus and see what happens from there, but I'm not going to actually do that until I get a confirmation from another PC or two that this might not be dumb...
And Rob - we're in a hedge maze, where the hedges have thorns, right? And there's a dead Priest of Jesus, and a dead girl who might be vaguely Zelba-connected, and a crazy lich mage guy, and some statues. Plus us, and our NPC robot friend, and some other robots who are probably not so friendly. Anything else around here, while I'm grabbing a lotus seed and preparing to pour some Plant-Growth potions on it?
Brogg:
I think I am missing something. There is a puzzle?
The statues? I don't get it.
Does any of this shit mean anything to anyone?
Vrill's Holiday Tidings
Vrill seems to finally come to his senses and prefaces the upcoming fight with a few encouraging words.
"You guys are the WORST. Really, I'm SO SCARED, because the WORST PCs to grace character sheets are about to unleash their impotent combat skills on me. Oh wait let me guess, does your master plan involve a magic bear, some swords, and a silence spell? BLECH I think I just threw up in my mouth.""I know you guys aren't wearing the sharpest safety helmets on the short bus, but let me just make it crystal fucking clear. You die here. I won. You CAN'T KILL ME, I'm IMMORTAL now. In my learned opinion, you should run or pray to your gods for final communion. And that 'puzzle'- WEAK- is totally retarded and easy. A three year old who fell off a bike could solve it. Whatever, anyway the whole idea of a puzzle in a final battle is totally WEAK in case you didn't pick up on my CLUE, Velma.""
Did you like that alliteration in the previous statement? That's courtesy Croatius. He'll also be sending you some POWERFUL BLAST MAGIC real soon. Happy Halloween mother fuckers. When the clock strikes midnight, you're all going down unbelieveably hard."
Dave, Fist of Odin
Ho No - WAIT!
I was under the impression that we had until WEDNESDAY to start attacking. Brogg, you're jumping the gun, here, and I would like to retcon that attack until tomorrow.
I mean, sure - jack a guy in the face, I can get behind that; BUT you get to be seventh level and you start seeing some value in sticking to plans that you make with other people...
Schmektor:
In my free pre-combat round, I down my last 2 healing potions. that gives me back 13 points.
When I see Brogg reach for his weapon, I go for broke:
Round 1: BR 15 (hits AC-4) for 13 (BR 8 +5) points.
Round 2: Assuming I am still alive BR 18 and BR 19 for 20 points(BR 3 +5 & BR 7 +5)
Brogg:
I stick Vrill in the gut.
BR:16 hits. Take 13 points, asshole.
I also power up my PFE shield.
Marivhon
we're trying to figure if there is a stupid puzzle we can figure out. I don't much care about it, I just want to attack you. I am giving my compatriots time to say they leave.
I miss my will check.
I have healing potions if you want em.....
I might not make it to Wednesday.
Yes And No
Well, nothing new glows I guess. You've got lots of treasure so your stuff glows.
As for starting with 2 attacks... that'd make a great NWP. Call it whatever you want "preemptive strike" or "ki force" or "super attack". But, oh, fine. Make a WIS check at -2 and you can do it.
...
"
For the last time. I'm NOT your father. Here, you can read my goddamn book:http://potionguild.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_potionguild_archive.htmlI answer this question fairly completely as far as I'm concerned. In case you need further proof, my lovely WIFE who you all murdered was a drow elf. You're not half-drow. You're like half-sea elf, or aqua elf or whatever. Or maybe wood elf. Half-wood....Damn it this is boring, can I kill you guys already?"
Marivhon
well, I think what we are missing is right here.....
I drink my potion of find treasure....
If the thing we are looking for is "treasure" I sure hope it stands out...
ok then.
and those potions I have are 1d8+1 not some other weird thing I typed, 11 of em, smoke em if you want em.
In fact I spend this time enjoying some of gregolas' pipe weed, contemplating this strange turn of events. I ready myself for death and all that. Not that I want to die just you know.....
Speaking of which maybe since I am a monk and really good at ya know stuff. I could start with 2 attacks instead of the normal one by imaging the fight, you know power of positive thinking kinda shit. I playout in my mind the first round of attacks and try to perfect my initial onslaught.
"fuck you dad. I'm glad we killed mom she would have been so fucking disappointed in you now."
You Don't Have Much Time Left To Insult Greg Vrill
Vrill sips, spits, and frowns.
"
I'm a LICH dumbass... or, uh, I've, you know, merged with a lich... something like that... whatever. The details don't matter. Anyway I'm immune to your crappy poison. Didn't you just hear me? MASTER of POTIONS. MASTER. POTIONS. Get it? And nice costume Brogg you loser. Go die like Bartleby the fuckin' scrivener."
Regardless, he blogrolls a 6 for his save and looks oh-so-mildly the worse for wear.
Vrill and Croatius shiver and seem at last to be synthesized. "
Let's make things interesting, shall we?" He snaps his fingers. At the periphery of this obscene labyrinth, portals open. You hear the dull clang of metal on metal as the hedge maze fills with a swarm of what, undoubtably, are legions of Knights of Armek.
Consider the hourglass turned. You each have one round of prepping now. Combat still is not officially to be considered to have begun, as CV is not yet casting. A more direct offensive action will negate that though.
ZOM-G says
HAHA THAT WUZ A GOOD1
U DRINKN THE BUG JUCE HA
..
..
HAY CHECK IT OUT"IM GREG VRILL LOL"
HAY GREG VRILL I SEE YR CAMEL TOE......NICE FUX SOX..HOMO
Brogg:
Ha!
I told you Vrill was going to drink Weed Killer!!!
How's that Weed Killer, Croatius?! Ha! -This Jest's for you!!!I drink a Potion of Healing for 9.
MARIVHON
I have 11 db+1 healing potions I'll 'share".
ooh caps lock
Retro Repost
Gentlemen, for your consideration. Given that things have been pretty slow while you all furrow your brows and ponder your next moves, I thought I'd repost something I found while digging through the DiD archives.
I give you: The Caveman's Reprisal
...
[The scene is a dark cave, in which the demon necromancer Anaxathoraxus has stitched together a Frankensteinian undead caveman! The demon surgeon turns to the PCs and sings his song.]
The name is Anax
Front to backs, thems the facts
Scorin points just like Klaxx
Dun know? I’ll send ya a fax
Word life
I’m hardcore rap’s new magician
The turn-it-on electrician
Demonic rhyme superstition
Getcha honeys in the money position
Simply P-I-M-P
The inter-D MC
From outta P-L-N-E
With psychic tele-kin-e
I rock unforgettable rhymes
From… thee olde skool times
Your lyrics are third level crimes
My beats epic level divines
Chillin up in this cave
Rhymes from cradle to grave
What? This foo’ is named Dave?
Power Word Raps is no save
Bounce
Anyway
I found a needle and thread
Some limbs, some teeth and a head
From a guy who was dead
Like Biggie Smalls eatin’ lead
With a charm spell or two
Word, I know what to do
Got me a monsta-boy crew
I’ll pass the mic a one-two[The Caveman gets off the operating table, roars in rage, smashes an EKG machine, and takes the mic.]
Let’s do a microphone check… this thing on? Let’s begin
Got a long story to… heck. The mic’s not on, not again.
So I just gotta yell, hell, hella stories to tell ya
I’m a goodfella from Pella, a Stoneage Antebella
Can we rewind the tape? We’re goin’ back a long way
When a man was an ape an big apes ruled the day
Crib chillin’ in a stone cave with my bitches and bros
Like Rumblefishin’ Matt Dillon, plus some stone age hos
None of yo fancy gps, your magic swords or what-nots
Just got a woolly mammoth Kangol and a fistful of rocks
I was like “Wilma! Let’s get the fuck outta town!”
Fuckin’ Land-o-Lost bitches know how to get down.
But and wouldn’t you know it, my mates, niggas, and sons,
My bitch-ass ho bitches all like “Nuh-uh boy, you done!
You done betta get us some mammoth or a big turkey leg
You steppin’ out? Then step up and bring back di-no egg.”
But I was like “Eggs? Bitch, I just got a fistful of rocks!
I don’t got a glaive-guisarme, shit, I dun e’en got socks!
To hell with these bitches!” And I one-two stepped away
And kept steppin’ like Gandhi all the way to Bombay.
To make a long story short, I headed up north
Threw a rock at a whitey and a big-ass stega-sorth
Finally fell through the cracks in the frozen white tundra
Where I froze without hos, without clothes like Allundra.
Now I wake up on a table and some dude saws my leg
I’m like “Yo bitch that ain’t cool!” All this for an egg?
So I’s breaks his machine, cause I’m mean and I mean it
Get my club on, my thug on, snap ya neck like a peanut.
That’s my story, it’s done, rolled init, gotta one
Time ta get gory, my son, Blogrollin’ legit just for fun
Got my eighth level thug on, gonna send you to heaven…
Blogrollin THAC-O, so hang on, uh, it’s a… seven.
Have A Drink
Bandage yourself to full in a couple melee rounds? Non-magically? Uh, no.
If you had the Healing NWP, and about ten minutes, you could heal an extra 1d4 hp. But you have neither the time nor the skills.
Maybe you too should have a drink.
Or, look on other people's char sheets and see if anyone has a potion they could lend you.
...
Marivhon's going to start things up in two days, real-time, people. Fine with me. Make sure your affairs are all in order,
ducks all lined up as they say over there.
King Tut
Can I bandage myself to full or something? I don't know what the out of combat regen rules are. I enter a holding pattern. Stand by for liftoff.
Unhappy Toast
Vrill/Croatius regards you Brogg. A flicker of confusion, then of rage registers on the withered face, before at last he beams.
"
Very good sir. I, Master of Potions, now Master of Magic, will gladly toast to your deaths."
Brogg:
What the hell happened to me?!
Ok. I have 2 Potions of Healing.
So, give me just a second here to catch up.
First, I duck around a corner and Alter Self myself to look like the Jester. I then fill two of my empty vials with whiskey (Thanks, Dave, Fist of Odin.), and ask Croatius to toast with his old fool.
Statues
There are a total of six statues, two groups of three.
As the post below explains, the identities of one group should be obvious: the girl, the jester, and the magician from the folio and the rest of the mirror world here.
The second group of statues, hmm. They don't have heads, but they all seem familiar nonetheless. All females. One with two moths/butterflies. A second, younger, with a poppy. The third, older, standing on a skull.
Unclear what the significance or utility is though, apparently.