8.20.2005
Brogg:
Alright, while the monks are flipping in, I am going to toss a Potion of Healing to Lil' Marivhon. That's 1d8+2, buddy.
As for these new Monks, I am going to pick Master of the Lonely Earth. Not for any particular reason, just because: BR:10, that hits Ac:6, unless he is 6th level, I think that does it. BR:4, for 8 points of damage!
Taste the wrath of Grisbane Lonely Dirt! (A bit louder this time)
As for these new Monks, I am going to pick Master of the Lonely Earth. Not for any particular reason, just because: BR:10, that hits Ac:6, unless he is 6th level, I think that does it. BR:4, for 8 points of damage!
Taste the wrath of Grisbane Lonely Dirt! (A bit louder this time)
Brother Dong Is Just Sick Of It, Okay? He's Heard It Already, So Keep Your 'Dong' Jokes To Yourself
Dave, all that talking about angry badgers was hypothetical, yes? The posts just have you rolling to hit, so that's what I'm assuming you're doing.
Okay Marivhon, you kick monk 2 in the nuts for 1 hp. He looks pissed, like he's going to finish the job that monk 1 started! And I'm not talking about varnishing that table that they picked up at the garage sale down the mountain path. Nor am I talking about raking the leaves in front of the MOP's new monestary. Nor am I talking about their Cafe Press website where you can buy souvenir MOP t-shirts that say "Who is the Mysterious X?"
What I am talking about is the job monk 1 did on you for 5 hp. Actually, now that I reread the posts, I'm not talking about that. Uh, monk 2 couldn't give two shits about you and attacked Dave. So nevermind all that. Dave smacks him on the crit fumb for 4.
Brogg decides not to save you and attacks monk #3 for 12 hp! A solid blow, lopping off his right arm at the elbow. Blood gushes out, (blogrolling...), oh, nasty, Brogg, thick arm blood squirts you right in the face. Monk 3 grunts stoically and prepares to retaliate. (With his left arm.)
Dave, you tag-team monk 2 with Cinder and end his poor, celibate life right there like that. It's bad, and involves maces and swords. Monk 2 probably didn't guess he was going to go out like that, but he did. I mean, a guy sits down to play some mah-jongg, sip some Nestea in the basement, doesn't expect a bunch of guys to charge in and butcher him with weapons. But that's exactly how it went down.
Monk 3 on Brogg! Miss. Monks kinda suck. Cinder, got your final attack ready to go, and you and Mike the zombie take down the one-armed monk. It's a real challenge, killing a 1st level one-armed monk. Do you feel like a man now? Huh, do you?
The carnage is over... but it's really just begun! Brogg, the door you closed gets kicked open, and two monks charge out, with two other monks flying overhead! They do flips, bounce off the walls, and end up on either side of you. You're surrounded by four monks! One of them pulls out a stone hammer and says: "I am Chung Wu, Master of the Lonely Earth!" The second says "I am Brother Dong, Master of the Silent Wind!" He doesn't pull a weapon but suddenly sticks out his hands. The third monk does have a weapon, it's a nagi... a nagatana? Nagigata? It's, you know, like a big-ass spear. He says "I am the Master of the Quick Flame, Shi Jukka!" The last monk you might think is another guy, but he suddenly pulls back his cloak, revealing his hooded face, and it's not a guy! It's a woman! She pulls out a pair of sais and says haughtily "And I am Sister Brenda, Mistress of the Deep Waters! Now you die!"
Do it.
Okay Marivhon, you kick monk 2 in the nuts for 1 hp. He looks pissed, like he's going to finish the job that monk 1 started! And I'm not talking about varnishing that table that they picked up at the garage sale down the mountain path. Nor am I talking about raking the leaves in front of the MOP's new monestary. Nor am I talking about their Cafe Press website where you can buy souvenir MOP t-shirts that say "Who is the Mysterious X?"
What I am talking about is the job monk 1 did on you for 5 hp. Actually, now that I reread the posts, I'm not talking about that. Uh, monk 2 couldn't give two shits about you and attacked Dave. So nevermind all that. Dave smacks him on the crit fumb for 4.
Brogg decides not to save you and attacks monk #3 for 12 hp! A solid blow, lopping off his right arm at the elbow. Blood gushes out, (blogrolling...), oh, nasty, Brogg, thick arm blood squirts you right in the face. Monk 3 grunts stoically and prepares to retaliate. (With his left arm.)
Dave, you tag-team monk 2 with Cinder and end his poor, celibate life right there like that. It's bad, and involves maces and swords. Monk 2 probably didn't guess he was going to go out like that, but he did. I mean, a guy sits down to play some mah-jongg, sip some Nestea in the basement, doesn't expect a bunch of guys to charge in and butcher him with weapons. But that's exactly how it went down.
Monk 3 on Brogg! Miss. Monks kinda suck. Cinder, got your final attack ready to go, and you and Mike the zombie take down the one-armed monk. It's a real challenge, killing a 1st level one-armed monk. Do you feel like a man now? Huh, do you?
The carnage is over... but it's really just begun! Brogg, the door you closed gets kicked open, and two monks charge out, with two other monks flying overhead! They do flips, bounce off the walls, and end up on either side of you. You're surrounded by four monks! One of them pulls out a stone hammer and says: "I am Chung Wu, Master of the Lonely Earth!" The second says "I am Brother Dong, Master of the Silent Wind!" He doesn't pull a weapon but suddenly sticks out his hands. The third monk does have a weapon, it's a nagi... a nagatana? Nagigata? It's, you know, like a big-ass spear. He says "I am the Master of the Quick Flame, Shi Jukka!" The last monk you might think is another guy, but he suddenly pulls back his cloak, revealing his hooded face, and it's not a guy! It's a woman! She pulls out a pair of sais and says haughtily "And I am Sister Brenda, Mistress of the Deep Waters! Now you die!"
Do it.
Marivhon
Ouch 2 hps left eh.....
BR 13 to hit if it does 1hp
then a solid 9 to miss
"Brogg if the Champion of Grisbane might spare a moment for a heal that would be swell."
thats all folks
BR 13 to hit if it does 1hp
then a solid 9 to miss
"Brogg if the Champion of Grisbane might spare a moment for a heal that would be swell."
thats all folks
Dave, Fist of Odin
Brogg, my brother, did you not see me smack the monk on the head-upside? This was as he fumbled.
For my next round's attack, I BR: 12. That hits AC 6. And, just in case, a BR of 1 for damage, or 3 points.
For my next round's attack, I BR: 12. That hits AC 6. And, just in case, a BR of 1 for damage, or 3 points.
Brogg:
Wow, tricky Monks...
Ok, I am going to give some broadsword loving to Monk #3. That's two attacks, BRs:16,4. That 16 should do it. BR:8, Oh my, 12 points of damage on Mr. 3.
I refrain from my usual cries to Grisbane at the moment, as I am hoping to finish this up a bit quietly. I'll give a Yeah, Grisbane! in sort of a whisper.
Dave, Fist of Odin, don't forget your post fumble attack, eh?
Ok, I am going to give some broadsword loving to Monk #3. That's two attacks, BRs:16,4. That 16 should do it. BR:8, Oh my, 12 points of damage on Mr. 3.
I refrain from my usual cries to Grisbane at the moment, as I am hoping to finish this up a bit quietly. I'll give a Yeah, Grisbane! in sort of a whisper.
Dave, Fist of Odin, don't forget your post fumble attack, eh?
Dave, Fist of Odin
BR for the fumble: 15. That hits AC 3. BR for damage: 2. That's 4 points down, biyatch!
So, we took one monk down? I think I'm good with spells for now. The Mysterious X might be able to disbelieve my God's quiet, but I doubt he'll be so unbelieving of an angry badger on his ass.
So, us Fists of Odin really only have a few emotional states. Drunk, sleeepy, angry, and . . . well, that pretty much covers it.
Grunna's in some sort of trance, and these monk gentlemen have disbelieved in my God's might.
I am not sleepy, nor am I drunk.
So, we took one monk down? I think I'm good with spells for now. The Mysterious X might be able to disbelieve my God's quiet, but I doubt he'll be so unbelieving of an angry badger on his ass.
So, us Fists of Odin really only have a few emotional states. Drunk, sleeepy, angry, and . . . well, that pretty much covers it.
Grunna's in some sort of trance, and these monk gentlemen have disbelieved in my God's might.
I am not sleepy, nor am I drunk.
Konichiwa!
Yeah, now this is more like it! Good posting y'all, but hang on to those hot moves for just a minute.
Marivhon, you acted first, stumbling into the room and disrupting the mah-jongg game, failing both your DEX and CHA checks. Monk 1 stands up, outraged beyond belief, turning red in the fae and huffing, saying: "No one disrupt my mah-jongg! NO ONE! Karate... chop!"
The monks all leap to their feet, get in formation, and do crazy flips over your head, landing on either side of you, surrounding you! Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Each monk then lets out a low battle cry and assumes combat formation. You guys basically stand around and watch it until they finish. But now, let the battle begin! Grunna, meanwhile, stumbles out of the room to fetch the iced-tea.
Brogg, you pull the door shut. Marivhon, karate-chop! For 5 hp damage, you're down to 2 hp! (That's from Monk #1.) Dave, okay, Cinder is now a quiet dude. I'm assuming with that big ol 17 WI, it's not a personal silence, it's actually the 15' radius variety, e.g., cast on Cinder's cloak or something. So there ya go.
However, Monk #2 calmly doubts in your faith, and the spell is dispelled! He looks you cold in the eye and says: "The Mysterious X says that we need no gods to make our destiny. We are our own men!" Adding injury to insult, or trying to, he fails to monk-attack through your armor.
Cinder, okay, rope chopped. Monk #3 spits on you, saying: "Aw damn it, I was just about to pull that. Thanks a lot." And you get a chop yourself for... double damage! 2 hp, plus you're stunned for... well, 1 round. And are you killed? 47%, nope, you're still alive.
Mike the zombie, shoots a monk, but the monk dodges his bolt! Monk 2 nods in approval at monk 1 for the nice dodge.
Brogg, monks have trouble dodging broadswords though. 8 hp severely wounds monk 1. He retaliates with 2 hp of damage to you. Marivhon. Dave steps on up and smacks monk 1 again, finishing him. Cinder, no backstabby, as the monks all see and hear you just fine. Oh right, you're actually stunned this round. Well, how about another monk 3 attack? Miss. Monk 2, oof, fumble on Dave- Dave, take your swing.
Two monks left, Brogg? Marivhon? Dave? Cinder, I got your attacks in the queue already. Just a reminder, Dave, Grunna has left the room, so you don't know her reaction to casting. She had kind of a glazed-over, unresponsive zombie look about her though...
Marivhon, you acted first, stumbling into the room and disrupting the mah-jongg game, failing both your DEX and CHA checks. Monk 1 stands up, outraged beyond belief, turning red in the fae and huffing, saying: "No one disrupt my mah-jongg! NO ONE! Karate... chop!"
The monks all leap to their feet, get in formation, and do crazy flips over your head, landing on either side of you, surrounding you! Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. Each monk then lets out a low battle cry and assumes combat formation. You guys basically stand around and watch it until they finish. But now, let the battle begin! Grunna, meanwhile, stumbles out of the room to fetch the iced-tea.
Brogg, you pull the door shut. Marivhon, karate-chop! For 5 hp damage, you're down to 2 hp! (That's from Monk #1.) Dave, okay, Cinder is now a quiet dude. I'm assuming with that big ol 17 WI, it's not a personal silence, it's actually the 15' radius variety, e.g., cast on Cinder's cloak or something. So there ya go.
However, Monk #2 calmly doubts in your faith, and the spell is dispelled! He looks you cold in the eye and says: "The Mysterious X says that we need no gods to make our destiny. We are our own men!" Adding injury to insult, or trying to, he fails to monk-attack through your armor.
Cinder, okay, rope chopped. Monk #3 spits on you, saying: "Aw damn it, I was just about to pull that. Thanks a lot." And you get a chop yourself for... double damage! 2 hp, plus you're stunned for... well, 1 round. And are you killed? 47%, nope, you're still alive.
Mike the zombie, shoots a monk, but the monk dodges his bolt! Monk 2 nods in approval at monk 1 for the nice dodge.
Brogg, monks have trouble dodging broadswords though. 8 hp severely wounds monk 1. He retaliates with 2 hp of damage to you. Marivhon
Two monks left, Brogg? Marivhon? Dave? Cinder, I got your attacks in the queue already. Just a reminder, Dave, Grunna has left the room, so you don't know her reaction to casting. She had kind of a glazed-over, unresponsive zombie look about her though...
Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey - as I move forward for the clobbering, how's Grunna look? When she sees me call upon Odin for a little quiet, I mean. Is she pleased, frightened, scared, angry . . . . under some sort of bad shit?
Oh - and here's a clobbering roll: BR 17, which hits AC 1, with a damage BR of 4, for 6 points. This is mostly an exploratory clobbering - see how it goes down; do I need to bust out some more spells right away, or can I save 'em for our escape.
Oh - and here's a clobbering roll: BR 17, which hits AC 1, with a damage BR of 4, for 6 points. This is mostly an exploratory clobbering - see how it goes down; do I need to bust out some more spells right away, or can I save 'em for our escape.
8.19.2005
Dave, Fist of Odin
I bust a silence on Cinder. That's right - I'm afraid of him casting or something.
No no - that way there's no save, Cinder's quiet, and if I need to cast I just move away from him. Ta-da! I might have a IN of 8, but my WS is 17 - I'm a crafty motherfucker.
Then out comes the mace and splat go the heads.
No no - that way there's no save, Cinder's quiet, and if I need to cast I just move away from him. Ta-da! I might have a IN of 8, but my WS is 17 - I'm a crafty motherfucker.
Then out comes the mace and splat go the heads.
Brogg:
Alright, take 'er easy for just one second, Dave, Fist of Odin.
I am going to make sure that this door behind us is closed nice and tight. If at all possible, I am going to lock it, or wedge something against it to hold it closed.
That being accomplished, I tell Dave, Fist of Odin, that it would be a great time for that Silence 15' Radius. As soon as he drops it, I am rushing in and chopping off heads! BR:18! That's 8 points of damage on Monk #1!
I am going to make sure that this door behind us is closed nice and tight. If at all possible, I am going to lock it, or wedge something against it to hold it closed.
That being accomplished, I tell Dave, Fist of Odin, that it would be a great time for that Silence 15' Radius. As soon as he drops it, I am rushing in and chopping off heads! BR:18! That's 8 points of damage on Monk #1!
8.18.2005
Marivhon
Dibs on that Katana.
I try to accidentally knock over the Mah jong game dex check 18 cha 11.
I apologize a lot and try to play the new dumb monk whose totally enthusiastic about their place.
I ask the 3 guys if they have heard the new beats being mixed in the Studio and encourage them to go check it out say nowish cha check 6.
Basically I try to get them to leave. Then I ask Grunna for some wine and, how she came to be a monk.
I try to accidentally knock over the Mah jong game dex check 18 cha 11.
I apologize a lot and try to play the new dumb monk whose totally enthusiastic about their place.
I ask the 3 guys if they have heard the new beats being mixed in the Studio and encourage them to go check it out say nowish cha check 6.
Basically I try to get them to leave. Then I ask Grunna for some wine and, how she came to be a monk.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Grunna! Fetching Iced Tea? An Outrage!
You all can feel me tense up, and unless someone says something - like, right now - it's time for the clobbering. 'Cuz if Larry and the other stroke were feeling it - well, I got something that I'm feeling, too, and the it that I feel can best be described as RAGE.
You all can feel me tense up, and unless someone says something - like, right now - it's time for the clobbering. 'Cuz if Larry and the other stroke were feeling it - well, I got something that I'm feeling, too, and the it that I feel can best be described as RAGE.
Are You Feeling It?
Okay Marivhon, you hang back.
You guys check out the trophy room, up ahead. A large museum, basically. Lots of weird stuff under glass, nick-nacks, really, like a statue of a monk with the inscription "LIVE SIMPLY SO THAT OTHERS MAY SIMPLY LIVE" or a katana from the third Kunbo Century or the 23rd annual monk's fest prize to Mysterious X for best stillness. There are signs that this used to be a great hall dedicated to, well, Odin... bare patches of discolored wall where a animal's head might be displayed, for instance.
However, at the back is a large door flanked by twin warrior monk statues. It's locked, Cinder, you can't open it, and the door looks heavily reinforced, made of good wood bound with steel. There's a sign that reads "Archives, Monks Only (and Only by Permission of M.X.)" Marivhon, you can't get through it either though. Hmm...
Continuing your way through, you occasionally bump into a monk or two, many of them engaged in construction. Taking down timbers, cleaning up the fireplace from the main dining hall, generally 'modernizing' the place and adding monk-friendly frescoes and 'Successories' style motivational posters. "TEAMWORK, A TWO WAY STREET: You are your brother's keeper, and you are being kept by your brother."
Still no sign of Grunna. Cinder, again with a door you can't open. It's marked "Magical Treasury." Ha, just kidding. It actually seems to be the office of the Mysterious X! He's got a nice placard, but the lock defies you.
Marivhon, a couple of the monks recognize you and smile and nod. "Back again? Oh you're in luck. Larry and Tony are in the recording studio again! You should check it out." They escort you through the living quarters down some stairs to a recording studio and soundbooth, where two monks with ponytails are mastering their latest record. The label on the door says "MOP Production Studios, LLC". Then underneath a handwritten note says "This iz where the magic happens baby!!"
As you enter, you hear some beats fade out as a woman says "Je t'adore... mais je suis desole" in a husky voice over some monks chanting. Larry the monk smiles and says to Tony: "Yeah, now we got it... now pull the midrange back in... kick the backbeat!" They bring the backbeat back in, some silky slow 4-4 beats. "Hells yeah. Can I ask you something? Are you... are you feeling it? Cause I am totally feeling it." Tony seems to be feeling it: "You know I am feeling it."
"Can we help you dudes? Hey, check out the latest masterpiece. Shh, no, don't say anything, just check the music, feel that beat." Tony pulls up the chanting monks a bit louder. Lar and Tony have some stuff to do, so they give you each a complementary CD single "J'excuse" and get back to the mixing board. They'll autograph it on a successful CHA check.
Still no Grunna though... maybe you have the wrong place? And then, continuing your tour, Cinder finds a locked door he can open, down a hall in the basement. It opens into a dusty, stone corridor, ending in stairs that go down.
(Ha! How long has it been since that stuff?)
You creep downstairs, Cinder, Mike, and Marivhon trying really hard and failing to be Hiding and Silent. You then see upahead what looks like a large stone-walled lounge, with three monks playing mah-jongg. They're pretty engrossed in the game, and don't see you, but one of them seems to be thirsty:
Monk 1: "Hey I'm thirsty... anyone else for some iced-tea?"
Monk 2: "Yea bro, hook it up."
Monk 3: "I'm in."
Monk 1 apparently hooks it up by pulling a bellcord. Out of a large, iron door comes a woman who totally doesn't fit with the whole monk vibe. First off, she's ten feet tall (so she's sort of hunched over). She's blonde with two big braids. She's wearing what looks like burlap, but leaves her feet exposed, showing huge, glowing manacles around her ankles. Finally, and here's the give-away, she's wearing a nametag that reads "HELLO MY NAME IS GRUNNA HOW CAN I HELP?"
Monk 1 orders her to get some iced-tea.
Your commands, sirs?
You guys check out the trophy room, up ahead. A large museum, basically. Lots of weird stuff under glass, nick-nacks, really, like a statue of a monk with the inscription "LIVE SIMPLY SO THAT OTHERS MAY SIMPLY LIVE" or a katana from the third Kunbo Century or the 23rd annual monk's fest prize to Mysterious X for best stillness. There are signs that this used to be a great hall dedicated to, well, Odin... bare patches of discolored wall where a animal's head might be displayed, for instance.
However, at the back is a large door flanked by twin warrior monk statues. It's locked, Cinder, you can't open it, and the door looks heavily reinforced, made of good wood bound with steel. There's a sign that reads "Archives, Monks Only (and Only by Permission of M.X.)" Marivhon, you can't get through it either though. Hmm...
Continuing your way through, you occasionally bump into a monk or two, many of them engaged in construction. Taking down timbers, cleaning up the fireplace from the main dining hall, generally 'modernizing' the place and adding monk-friendly frescoes and 'Successories' style motivational posters. "TEAMWORK, A TWO WAY STREET: You are your brother's keeper, and you are being kept by your brother."
Still no sign of Grunna. Cinder, again with a door you can't open. It's marked "Magical Treasury." Ha, just kidding. It actually seems to be the office of the Mysterious X! He's got a nice placard, but the lock defies you.
Marivhon, a couple of the monks recognize you and smile and nod. "Back again? Oh you're in luck. Larry and Tony are in the recording studio again! You should check it out." They escort you through the living quarters down some stairs to a recording studio and soundbooth, where two monks with ponytails are mastering their latest record. The label on the door says "MOP Production Studios, LLC". Then underneath a handwritten note says "This iz where the magic happens baby!!"
As you enter, you hear some beats fade out as a woman says "Je t'adore... mais je suis desole" in a husky voice over some monks chanting. Larry the monk smiles and says to Tony: "Yeah, now we got it... now pull the midrange back in... kick the backbeat!" They bring the backbeat back in, some silky slow 4-4 beats. "Hells yeah. Can I ask you something? Are you... are you feeling it? Cause I am totally feeling it." Tony seems to be feeling it: "You know I am feeling it."
"Can we help you dudes? Hey, check out the latest masterpiece. Shh, no, don't say anything, just check the music, feel that beat." Tony pulls up the chanting monks a bit louder. Lar and Tony have some stuff to do, so they give you each a complementary CD single "J'excuse" and get back to the mixing board. They'll autograph it on a successful CHA check.
Still no Grunna though... maybe you have the wrong place? And then, continuing your tour, Cinder finds a locked door he can open, down a hall in the basement. It opens into a dusty, stone corridor, ending in stairs that go down.
(Ha! How long has it been since that stuff?)
You creep downstairs, Cinder, Mike, and Marivhon trying really hard and failing to be Hiding and Silent. You then see upahead what looks like a large stone-walled lounge, with three monks playing mah-jongg. They're pretty engrossed in the game, and don't see you, but one of them seems to be thirsty:
Monk 1: "Hey I'm thirsty... anyone else for some iced-tea?"
Monk 2: "Yea bro, hook it up."
Monk 3: "I'm in."
Monk 1 apparently hooks it up by pulling a bellcord. Out of a large, iron door comes a woman who totally doesn't fit with the whole monk vibe. First off, she's ten feet tall (so she's sort of hunched over). She's blonde with two big braids. She's wearing what looks like burlap, but leaves her feet exposed, showing huge, glowing manacles around her ankles. Finally, and here's the give-away, she's wearing a nametag that reads "HELLO MY NAME IS GRUNNA HOW CAN I HELP?"
Monk 1 orders her to get some iced-tea.
Your commands, sirs?
Marivhon
Since I'm a freakin Genius, I don't go in with the party I hang back and play like I'm just following up on the shit I saw before. I play it off like I don't need help I'm just a wandering monk ya know.
I will hang off to the side of the party and try to watch them from a safe distance.
If MS and HS are in order here's the rolls. 83 and 79 yep.
Maybe we should check out the trophy room and see if there are any signs left from the Odinic shit if it was based here.
Over.
I will hang off to the side of the party and try to watch them from a safe distance.
If MS and HS are in order here's the rolls. 83 and 79 yep.
Maybe we should check out the trophy room and see if there are any signs left from the Odinic shit if it was based here.
Over.
8.17.2005
Watch For The Latest Crime Thriller From Primus And The Mysterious X!
The monestary is big. Think of a giant church. Not a European cathedral, but almost, and more flat than tall. Extensive grounds around it. A lot of it looks damaged and in various states of repair. You might estimate 100 monks! But Marivhon tells you he didn't see that many, there's probably more like 20 or so, and the Grand Master is out of town on business.
The door monks thank you for travelling all this way to see their humble abode. You should go into the main hall, where the tour guide will come and get you.
Inside, there's a long stretch with a variety of exits. The grand hallway is plushly done, for monks. There's lots of art or science exhibits, too... glorifying the Grand Master, who seems to be caled "The Mysterious X". For example, there's a big fresco of an imposing man in a huge black cloak, about ten feet tall, with a placard underneath like you might see at the science museum:
The door monks thank you for travelling all this way to see their humble abode. You should go into the main hall, where the tour guide will come and get you.
Inside, there's a long stretch with a variety of exits. The grand hallway is plushly done, for monks. There's lots of art or science exhibits, too... glorifying the Grand Master, who seems to be caled "The Mysterious X". For example, there's a big fresco of an imposing man in a huge black cloak, about ten feet tall, with a placard underneath like you might see at the science museum:
Outside:
Q: Who is The Mysterious X?
(Lift for answer.)
Inside:
A: The Mysterious X simply is.
Some more monk zen koan crap like that. The place is actually pretty dead. Ahead is the trophy room. Down a side hall are living quarters and the recording studio. That's all Marivhon knows.
Brogg:
Oh, hi. Yeah, we are here for the tour. We heard all of these great things about the Monks of Progress, and we just had to come check it out for ourselves.
Right guys?
How big is this monestary? How many Monks would I estimate to be in this place?
Right guys?
How big is this monestary? How many Monks would I estimate to be in this place?
WI 5-6: Goblin, indie rocker, stormtrooper, Wookie
Okay, ready to rock. Everyone buy the rations they want? Good. Marivhon gives you the 411 and you're off. Two days up the mountains, let's just say that there's no wandering encounters, it's just as Marivhon describes (see below). Signs, monks in the front working on the orchard, beautful fjord, no valkyrie. Anyway, you get to the monestary, and the monks are happy to see you. "Welcome brothers! You're on the Road to Progress, and now here you are! How might we be of service?"
Your move. (And are you guys seeing that? I didn't small that font on purpose. WTF?)
Hey Marivhon, can I have a minute? Thanks. Hey, okay, you've got a 5 WI, I know. But that doesn't mean you're a retard. That would be if your IQ was 5, then yes, officially, you would be retarded. As it turns out, your IQ is 14. That means you're smarter than basically 85-90% of the entire planet. You also happen to be a hell of a lot smarter than all the other PCs, who have IQs of 8 each. In other words, while Cinder, Dave, and Brogg are all reading Dragonlance, and it's hard, you're contemplating The Myth of Sisyphus, or some shit like Wittgenstein. In case you missed that, let me say it again:
YOU ARE NOT RETARDED WITH A WI OF 5 AND AN IQ OF 14. YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS.
An IQ of 14 means you know calculus and French and stuff like that. It doesn't mean you forgot to wear underwear today and OOOOOPS need some. You can remember every little detail about your trip to the monestary, in other words. Hell, you can even be scheming and act like a retard, maybe you're the Grand Master in disguise, IQ 14, who knows? So you know how you bought a cloak cause you thought it would be cold? That's more like the kind of thing you'd actually forget about, not because you're RETARDED but because you forgot to give a shit. It's easy to understand what IQ 5 is like. That's the guy who has his change bag pinned to his sweatshirt to help him get on the bus and when he gets on the bus OOOOPS now he stinks like shit. So what about WI 5? That's more like an indie rocker or a stormtrooper. Not really an emo fag, that's like WI 8, just enough to be self-reflective, but not enough to realize 1) everyone else hates life too and 2) no one gives a shit about the song you wrote about it. Or how about a pro wrestler? Hulk Hogan is probably pretty smart, but you know, he's a pro wrestler, so he's probably IQ 11 and WI 7. You can calibrate accordingly.
Not that you've been eating the glue etc, but I just wanted to be sure you knew what WI 5 means here. You're as forgetful as you want to be, of course, it's your character, but climbing the walls into the unicorns pit, stuff like that- it's not mandated by your condition. Your friends on the other hand, they're what would be called 'high performers'...
Your move. (And are you guys seeing that? I didn't small that font on purpose. WTF?)
Hey Marivhon, can I have a minute? Thanks. Hey, okay, you've got a 5 WI, I know. But that doesn't mean you're a retard. That would be if your IQ was 5, then yes, officially, you would be retarded. As it turns out, your IQ is 14. That means you're smarter than basically 85-90% of the entire planet. You also happen to be a hell of a lot smarter than all the other PCs, who have IQs of 8 each. In other words, while Cinder, Dave, and Brogg are all reading Dragonlance, and it's hard, you're contemplating The Myth of Sisyphus, or some shit like Wittgenstein. In case you missed that, let me say it again:
YOU ARE NOT RETARDED WITH A WI OF 5 AND AN IQ OF 14. YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS.
An IQ of 14 means you know calculus and French and stuff like that. It doesn't mean you forgot to wear underwear today and OOOOOPS need some. You can remember every little detail about your trip to the monestary, in other words. Hell, you can even be scheming and act like a retard, maybe you're the Grand Master in disguise, IQ 14, who knows? So you know how you bought a cloak cause you thought it would be cold? That's more like the kind of thing you'd actually forget about, not because you're RETARDED but because you forgot to give a shit. It's easy to understand what IQ 5 is like. That's the guy who has his change bag pinned to his sweatshirt to help him get on the bus and when he gets on the bus OOOOPS now he stinks like shit. So what about WI 5? That's more like an indie rocker or a stormtrooper. Not really an emo fag, that's like WI 8, just enough to be self-reflective, but not enough to realize 1) everyone else hates life too and 2) no one gives a shit about the song you wrote about it. Or how about a pro wrestler? Hulk Hogan is probably pretty smart, but you know, he's a pro wrestler, so he's probably IQ 11 and WI 7. You can calibrate accordingly.
Not that you've been eating the glue etc, but I just wanted to be sure you knew what WI 5 means here. You're as forgetful as you want to be, of course, it's your character, but climbing the walls into the unicorns pit, stuff like that- it's not mandated by your condition. Your friends on the other hand, they're what would be called 'high performers'...
8.16.2005
Marivhon
Nice!
I buy a cloak it might get cold up there (3 gp). I head off down the road slightly off to the left side of Brogg. I smile a little. I do try to explain to everyone where the monks on the road were, how many etc. But I do have that crappy wis.
I buy a cloak it might get cold up there (3 gp). I head off down the road slightly off to the left side of Brogg. I smile a little. I do try to explain to everyone where the monks on the road were, how many etc. But I do have that crappy wis.
Dave, Fist of Odin
I am SO down with this plan, that if I were any drunker I'd be weeping with joy.
I'm not the brains of Odin here, or the eye, or the ear, or even the open palm of courtesy. No, I am the fist of Odin, and if something's happened to His Homegirl, I'm the priest for the job - be it a rescue or revenge, there is sure to be the clobbering.
Let us venture forth!
I'm not the brains of Odin here, or the eye, or the ear, or even the open palm of courtesy. No, I am the fist of Odin, and if something's happened to His Homegirl, I'm the priest for the job - be it a rescue or revenge, there is sure to be the clobbering.
Let us venture forth!
Brogg:
Alright, I think we can put real estate investigations on hold. Odin has been good to us, personally, and if some do good Monks are messing with one of Odin's, well, I say that return him the favor. That's the kind priests that Grisbane's got.
One for Odin. We head back up the trail to Grunna's.
One for Odin. We head back up the trail to Grunna's.
Oh No I Didn't!
So, the Monks of Progress shrine is on the way to Greyhelm like Flint is on the way to Chicago. Not exactly, really, on the direct route there. On the other hand, Grunna's Hut is on the way to the oracle of Gryss. So Greyhelm or priest stuff, someone step on up, buy the rations, roll the wandering monsters, get this party started.
Dave, potions bought, helmet bought, check.
Somewhere out there, an ochre jelly is wearing a big ass helmet running around saying "Oh look at me, I'm the big priest of Odin, I killed a gelatinous cube! Oh not I didn't! I got stuck on the cube while my friends all laughed! Look at meeeee..."
Dave, potions bought, helmet bought, check.
Somewhere out there, an ochre jelly is wearing a big ass helmet running around saying "Oh look at me, I'm the big priest of Odin, I killed a gelatinous cube! Oh not I didn't! I got stuck on the cube while my friends all laughed! Look at meeeee..."
8.15.2005
Brogg:
Hmm, could the Monks of Progress have abducted Grunna? That is worrisome. I don't like how these "Lawful Good" folk work. It is always "let us help you!". More often than not, they don't have your best interests in mind.
I surely haven't given up on Vrill, but this "Lawful Good" kind of stuff really pisses me off. If they are behind Grunna's disappearance, I am all for kicking some Monk ass.
Maybe we could swing by Grunna's on the way to Greyhelm? Is it on the way?
I surely haven't given up on Vrill, but this "Lawful Good" kind of stuff really pisses me off. If they are behind Grunna's disappearance, I am all for kicking some Monk ass.
Maybe we could swing by Grunna's on the way to Greyhelm? Is it on the way?
8.14.2005
Marivhon
Ok I'll try to be brief.
I fill everyone in that the monks of progress seem to have some money, and that the valkyrie might be IN DANGER. Painting over Odins shit and all that. I try to get Dave pissed at them and tell him I will go to any lengths to help him in this potentially profitable quest. Cinder might get some shit for the Blackwall Thieves and etc. I don't know if it's on the way back to the farm but it seems like a good quest for all.
I guess the moral of the story is I tell everyone everything I found out.
My vote is lets do it.
I fill everyone in that the monks of progress seem to have some money, and that the valkyrie might be IN DANGER. Painting over Odins shit and all that. I try to get Dave pissed at them and tell him I will go to any lengths to help him in this potentially profitable quest. Cinder might get some shit for the Blackwall Thieves and etc. I don't know if it's on the way back to the farm but it seems like a good quest for all.
I guess the moral of the story is I tell everyone everything I found out.
My vote is lets do it.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey Cinder - before we leave, can you score me some potions?
Levitate, curing, 2 x-heals, 4 heals. That's . . . um . . . well, here's 1050 gold. That should cover it.
With the rest I buy a new helmet, a couple flasks of oil, a couple flasks holy water, food, whiskey, water. You know. Maybe donate the rest to the temple's beer fund.
Okay - I'm good to go.
Levitate, curing, 2 x-heals, 4 heals. That's . . . um . . . well, here's 1050 gold. That should cover it.
With the rest I buy a new helmet, a couple flasks of oil, a couple flasks holy water, food, whiskey, water. You know. Maybe donate the rest to the temple's beer fund.
Okay - I'm good to go.
Suspiciously Out Of Comment Cards
Uh, yeah, you can still get Blackwall Thiefs potions, here's the listing:
Healing: 1d8+2, 75 gp
Extra-Healing: 2d8+4, 200 gp
Curing (poison and disease): 150 gp
Invisibility: 200 gp
Levitation: 150 gp
Silence poison: -2 to save, 200 gp
Paralytic poison: 1d4+1 rounds paralyzed, 300 gp
ST, DX, CN poison: -1d4 to each ability, 200 gp
Damage poison I: +1d4+1, -1 to save, 50 gp
Damage poison II: +1d6+2, -2 to save, 100 gp
Damage poison III: +1d8+3, -3 to save, 150 gp
But only Cinder can buy them, so you have to give him the money.
No magic maces for sale. A helmet is 2 gp, more if you want like a spike, flames, the word "DAVE", or a dragon engraved onto it.
Brogg, okay, potions bought. Yeah, the Guild has a comment box "We value and appreciate your opinion! Let us know how we can best serve you!" but they seem to be currently out of comment forms.
Marivhon, okay, during the two months downtime, you pay to take a tour of the Monks of Progress new facility. You join a tour group that will take you up into the mountains for a total of five days (two days up, two days back). You're in a small group with five other tourists and two monks.
The journey up is devoid of wandering encounters. However, it looks like the monks have been working hard to repair the crappy old mountain trails... some of the trails are even paved. There are a few signs along the road, like "This road repaired courtesy of the Monks of Progress. You are on the right road!" or "They say all good things must end... but not all Lawful Good things! Please don't litter, thanks, the Monks of Progress."
On the second day, the trail begins to look familiar. In fact, you've been here before, when you were returning from the unicorns, and Dave's augury sent you on the high road... you're on the high road again! In fact, you pass a sign that a couple monks are repainting that reads "The Hall of Grunna". It's being repainted to say "Yes! You're on the Road to Progress!"
Finally, they take you and the other tourists to a massive temple. It looks like a large wooden banquet hall, I mean, really massive. Three stories tall, enormous 15' front doors, the size of a football field or such, on a large rocky plateau overlooking an icy fjord. A few monks are there training and trimming the orchards in the front, they smile and wave hello.
You're shown around the place, which is still in renovation, and you sleep in the guest quarters. You don't really get too much of a tour, just shown the main hall, training facilities, and the recording studio. There's also a large trophy room. Apparently, the Grand Master isn't around; he's in Nirvana writing a book with Primus, on sabbatical all year.
Anyway, you wake up the next morning, have a typical monk breakfast with the other monks, and head back to Durth.
Healing: 1d8+2, 75 gp
Extra-Healing: 2d8+4, 200 gp
Curing (poison and disease): 150 gp
Invisibility: 200 gp
Levitation: 150 gp
Silence poison: -2 to save, 200 gp
Paralytic poison: 1d4+1 rounds paralyzed, 300 gp
ST, DX, CN poison: -1d4 to each ability, 200 gp
Damage poison I: +1d4+1, -1 to save, 50 gp
Damage poison II: +1d6+2, -2 to save, 100 gp
Damage poison III: +1d8+3, -3 to save, 150 gp
But only Cinder can buy them, so you have to give him the money.
No magic maces for sale. A helmet is 2 gp, more if you want like a spike, flames, the word "DAVE", or a dragon engraved onto it.
Brogg, okay, potions bought. Yeah, the Guild has a comment box "We value and appreciate your opinion! Let us know how we can best serve you!" but they seem to be currently out of comment forms.
Marivhon, okay, during the two months downtime, you pay to take a tour of the Monks of Progress new facility. You join a tour group that will take you up into the mountains for a total of five days (two days up, two days back). You're in a small group with five other tourists and two monks.
The journey up is devoid of wandering encounters. However, it looks like the monks have been working hard to repair the crappy old mountain trails... some of the trails are even paved. There are a few signs along the road, like "This road repaired courtesy of the Monks of Progress. You are on the right road!" or "They say all good things must end... but not all Lawful Good things! Please don't litter, thanks, the Monks of Progress."
On the second day, the trail begins to look familiar. In fact, you've been here before, when you were returning from the unicorns, and Dave's augury sent you on the high road... you're on the high road again! In fact, you pass a sign that a couple monks are repainting that reads "The Hall of Grunna". It's being repainted to say "Yes! You're on the Road to Progress!"
Finally, they take you and the other tourists to a massive temple. It looks like a large wooden banquet hall, I mean, really massive. Three stories tall, enormous 15' front doors, the size of a football field or such, on a large rocky plateau overlooking an icy fjord. A few monks are there training and trimming the orchards in the front, they smile and wave hello.
You're shown around the place, which is still in renovation, and you sleep in the guest quarters. You don't really get too much of a tour, just shown the main hall, training facilities, and the recording studio. There's also a large trophy room. Apparently, the Grand Master isn't around; he's in Nirvana writing a book with Primus, on sabbatical all year.
Anyway, you wake up the next morning, have a typical monk breakfast with the other monks, and head back to Durth.
