That's Right, The Gargoyle Punched His EYE
I share your pain Renwick. What's done is done though. You cast two spells. Not sure what the 1E ruling is on Strength... maybe we should just say that Brogg's STR goes up to 19 (that's +3/+7).
Renwick, You seem to be vindicated as to the appropriateness of training at the time. I must also suggest that reading the posts you should have noticed that Vrill wasn't present, as you tried to watch him, and parlay with him. I assumed that since you weren't seemingly aware of his absence, you hadn't read the posts. Let's just all agree that Rob has skull fucked us and move on eh?

"That looked like it HURT Cinder!"

I attack for the sake of attacking and miss!

The next round, I hit for 7hp.
All righty then.

I suggest that we review the point of the adventure.

We were supposed to get a book for Abby and some kind of activation word or something from Vrill.

If we don't we stay dead.

I did read the posts (Marrivon) and I have to suggest that the celebration for victory and subsequent training was a little premature.

I mirror image for 3 images. Next round I'll cast streght on Brogg for Br 8 extra stregth points.
  How Long Will It Take To Resolve This Combat?
Okay Marivhon, you hit.

The gargoyle punches Cinder in the eye for 16 hp.
a 1 for dice off.
a 15 to hit which does. for 13 points of damage.
  You Hit And Damage The Gargoyle
Just as it says.
I pick Cinder's pocket.

Just kidding, I blogroll a 2 for apple.

Broadsword loving for the Gargoyle, BR:14 is a hit! 10 points of damage. Feel the Wrath of a Desperate Half-Breed Zombie that has a 50% chance of communing with his God, Chicken Bones!!
  Move On
Okay, you guys aren't happy. Noted. Let's move on.

You head back to Terminal Z, storm the gates, and wake up the giant gargoyle.

Dice off for apple. This guy's AC:4 and you need magic weapons to hit.
This doesn't seem the place for adventuring.

Marivhon and I rope the rest of the party together like mountain climbers and lead them back to Terminal Z.

We walk up to the huge doors of the Catherdral, bang on the doors, and get attacked by the huge skeletal gargoyle.

-I wish I would have killed Ron.
I tried that. It didn't get me much except stuck here. What was I supposed to do kill the GMoF. Or was I supposed to kill the Death Knight? Oh we did that and still no exp....Should I have killed Vrill? We did that too and nadda....well he's alive now thanks to us and I'm skull fucked or whatever the term is. I am waiting for the other guys.....If they don't have anything to say I'll go talk to Zelba.
  Day... Oh Fuck It
Okay, you search the town. Imagine an empty village, bereft of people, gold, and magic items. For instance, you can find a loaf of stale bread, a checkers set, and a broadsword. You can leave Grito and explore as far as you desire. It seems you can walk to Durth and back. Durth too is an empty stage prop. Then you go 'home' and play Magic by yourself.

You get 0 xp for playing Magic by yourself and for searching the town. Maybe that's your problem. Actually, the xp problem is easy to solve. You want xp, go adventure. That is, kill stuff and try to change the world. Watching TiVo with Gregolas, e.g., is a poor source of xp. I am guilt-free about this one though guys.
Rob assuming I have a lot of time I search terminal b. BR 6.
I start playing magic alone.
  Day 78, Terminal B: Desperation
This is not the negative material plane. That place sucks 1d10 hp per round you're in it, which might be merciful release compared to Hello Airport's whole No Exit thing. At least you're not trapped down here with Vrill anymore, right?

The inside of your Backpack of Holding? It looks like a backpack, yo. Just extradimensionally large.

Shi has no idea where Terminal 713B is. "We're in Terminal B now, just a part of it. That door," he says, motioning to the door Marivhon investigated, "that'll take you back to Terminal Z. Where I'm heading."

"Well, I have to go fight an efreeti. I'd appreciate the help, but I gotta get back topsides, and I don't really need five more guys with me to take this genie down. You guys seem pretty desperate." He pauses for a minute. "Here's an idea. If Orcus trapped you down here, maybe you could work something out with Zelba. Of course, negotiating with a god- particularly the queen of the dead- that won't be easy, so you guys better have some sort of game plan. Don't forget that her temple is right there in Terminal Z, hard to miss, that's where she hangs out I suppose. I really wouldn't mess around with gods unless you have no other choice though... you can't die down here, unless Zelba eats your soul. You could also see if Balfegor, I think that's his name, the lichlord... If he's got anything you could use."

Shi shrugs, and leaves.
Hmm. Seeing as this is the Negative Plane, I thought Negative Plane Projection might have a more interesting effect.

So Vrill screwed us big time, huh?

I too am at a loss. These terminal names don't really mean anything to me. It's all too confusing. I feel like we are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

What does the inside of my Backpack of Holding look like? Is that door Marivhon forund still there?

Alright, I ask Shi to do me a big favor. TAKE ME TO TERMINAL 713B.
BTW, if we can't really die maybe we could help him out down here with the whole treasure getting thing, if he would take a more proactive role in helping us get out of here.
ok before Shi Leaves I want to walk him to the door I found, maybe we were talking on the way. Lets see if it's still weird. I tell him that I'm worried about getting back to the Prime Material Plane and still being dead. I tell him that if Vrill is back then he prolly made a deal with Orcus and that might be bad news if he's headed home and concerned with whats going on. I make it clear that I'm only in it for the payback. If I can get back to the Prime I'll need some help if I'm undead, does he have any suggestions for coming back from undeath?

my almost last 2 cents.
  Day 78, Terminal B: Shi's News
Okay Brogg, you cast Negative Plane Protection. You are protected from level draining for the next n hours. Well played.

Marivhon, you ask Shi some questions while he's still around...

He doesn't have any clue how you guys can escape. This is a place where the dead come to stay for eternity. It doesn't just have a big old door marked 'exit'. He lays it on the line and tells you that he comes and goes thanks to a magic armlet he has that lets him Plane Shift. He hates other planes, but sometimes has to go around to do jobs to maintain his Fire Master status. He's been to the Elemental Plane of Fire, which is even worse that Hello Airport if you can believe that. But he only has one armlet, it's his, and he doesn't know where you could get more. He doesn't really enjoy talking to the dead, present company excluded of course, so he stays away from all the big HA players, and doesn't know who or where you could go for help. Mainly he comes down here to kick some ass and get some treasure.

Shi tells you that Grito was just attacked by the Knights of Armek. Tons of people died. It's a horrible situation, and he's pissed that the Monks of Progress aren't helping out. One of the reasons he's down here is to get a fire weapon that might work against the Knights. He has seen your pal Greg Vrill... apparently, Vrill had a contest to find some adventurers and journey into the ruined city of Greyhelm, stronghold of the Knights of Armek. That just happened, so Shi doesn't know how well it went.

Re-reading the guidebook about the magic artifacts in the Titan's forest, you don't learn anything new. That's DM speak for 'wrong tree'. Unless you really want to go fight titans and dinosaurs.
um, I cry.

I check the artifacts that Vrill was so interested in from the tour book about Hello Airport. I ask Shi how we get out of this town. I ask how he gets out of the airport when he goes back to the Prime Material Plane. I have no clue what we should do. I search around the airport for Vrill, and Ron. I took the memory tonic and it didn't seem to help so much but I'll get some more from Shi if he's offering. I thought the 10k seemed low. I haven't leveled since before the Arena in Gryss, so I'm a bit pissed. I ask him whats been up in Grito. I cry some more. Skull-fucked I think hardly covers it. I got insta killed and then I got megaslow screwed.

I'm at a loss guys.
It seems we are in Module G4: Skull-fucked by the Dungeon Master. For any number of players of any level.

I cast Negative Plane Projection.
  Day 78, Terminal B: Oops
Okay, it's decided then. You guys hang out in Grito, special training. For Dave FoO, this takes a total of 10 weeks. You pay some money, learn some skills, etc.

You then venture down into the caves, but this requires some revisions. When you reach the bottom, again, it's still the silent, ruined temple of Zelba. But now: no Rupert, no gate. Huh.

So you shrug, venture back upstairs and head back to Grito.

Except now, the town is empty and silent. Thinking at first maybe it's just a holiday, you head into the Griffon's Claw for a drink, but no one's there. No one except for a man in red robes sitting at a table.

It's Shi Jukka, resting for a moment. He looks surprised to see you.

"What are you guys still doing down here? It's been like two, maybe three months. I thought you had a deadline of getting out of here?"

Shi goes on to explain that, in case you really couldn't figure it out by now- you're still in Hello Airport, in the infamous Terminal B. Shi says that he heard that Orcus had laid a trap for some adventurers he had a grudge against, that it was supposed to be this perfect little Prime Material Plane town, so Shi had to check it out next time he came down to Hello. Yup, all this town stuff was- or rather, is- fake.

You have a sinking feeling about the xp and training. That's right- you didn't really get 10000 xp, and you really didn't train, and you really didn't level. Please undo all changes to your character sheets. Let's make that clear for those of you just skimming these posts.

You're still in Hello.

You didn't train, you didn't level. You find all the gold you thought you spent still on the counter.

You're stuck here.

Shi shakes his head in sympathy. "Hey, look, I'm heading back to the real world soon. Anything you guys want from up there, or want me to do? I can't get you out of here, but if you have any ideas, you just let me know. Also, there's an interdimensional scrying pool in Terminal A if you need to contact me, or someone else, but it can be pricy. I'll be around here just for another day or so though. Need more memory tonic? Oh, most of you didn't drink it in the first place anyway. Well, I still appreciate you getting that book for me, regardless."

So, there we have it. The adventure's not over yet guys. Obviously the ball is in your court as to how to escape.
I'd like to be trained, personally. -Although I do realize that might screw things up in terms of books and timelines, but fuck it. Another level never hurts.

I've topped out in Cleric, but I am now a 5th level Fighter! BR:9 for Hit Points! That's 5, plus 1 for special training. Putting me at 33 big ones.

I also get another weapon proficiency and a better THAC0! Yeah!

How much did my special training cost?

Now let's do this Rupert thing.
  Once Again, Shall Cinder Decide Your Fate?
How long you've been in Grito depends on whether or not you stopped to train. Marivhon and Dave FoO seem to think they trained. Renwick and Brogg seemed to go on ahead. Shall Cinder cast the deciding, tie-breaking vote? Or do you guys want to resolve it yourselves? I'll wait to proceed with the combat until it's been decided, so talk amongst yourselves.
I was thinking about not posting as a strategic maneuver. Hell knows Cinder is not going to post, and his AC sucks.

Oh well, BR:12.

Sorry buddy.

Yeah, not so sure about time lines here... We've been in Grito for a "day"?

I've decided this: We are in that place where the Gods fight. That's why everything is so fucked up.

I cast Negative Plane Projection. What the hell does that do?!

I then attack Rupert. BR:19. I hit him for 11.
Storylined by a guy who didn't read the story. I am going to say that I have trained. My new NWP is Yogi. I can now teach yoga and pilates and shit. I gain yes! 5 hp. Ok with that done

I dice off. BR 8.
I attack the bastard with my halberd 19 will hit ac -3 for 8 points of damage.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Ummm . . . . did we train? I kinda wanted to train before doing anything else.

Ah, well. I BR a 19 for the apple. And I'm fine with that - I put this guy down once, I suppose I can put him down again. Sigh. Sometimes, it seems like no matter how much clobbering I have done, there is still more clobbering to do. It never ends! Kinda like whiskey that way - it never seems to get all drunk.
  Smoke And Mirrors
Okay, Renwick, you gather up the other PCs and head back to the old caverns. Descending all the way down, you finally return to the huge chasm at the bottom, containing the ruined temple of Zelba.

The place is oddly still, and the hair on the back of your necks stands up. At the back, on the altar, the huge gate appears to be open... it appears as a gigantic mirror, containing a smoky swirl of black and gray mist just like in all the movies. No sign of Vrill and friend.

However, as you step towards the portal, out of the shadows steps a different figure, but one still familiar to you. It's Lord Skullbones! No... not quite. It's Lord Rupert, the human paladin who died in the ancient weather station, whose sword Cinder still wields. But now it's clear- these two NPCs are, or were, one and the same. Rupert must've become Skullbones by some infernal magicks!

But what the hell is he doing here in Grito?

"You bastards," the ex-paladin hisses. "It's not enough for you, is it? You little shits just can't leave it alone! My wife, my faith- now my soul. Well I know what's going on here, and I won't abide, I won't FUCKING ABIDE. I might not be able to kill you... but if I send you back to the beginning, this goddamn portal will close and you'll be trapped here forever. Alright fuckers."

You're not sure what the hell he's talking about, but he looks pissed and ready for combat. He Wall of Ices over the portal, and draws a black halberd. "Just one of you is all I need to take down." Everyone dice off for Rupert's target, highest wins. If you don't post in and roll by Wednesday, I'll assume you opt for apple and I'll dice off amongst the 'winners'.
I have a feeling that Vrill is still fucked up also and he's going to head for Abby.

Were we supposed to meet Abby somewhere if we got the book that she want'ed?

Can one of our priests check us out to see if we are still screwed up?

If no one is doing anything what say you that we head back to the place we battled the death knight and see what we can see.
  It's A Fine Day
Yeah Renwick, that's the thing. Vrill is just gone. Both he and Ron were absent from the beginning of your appearance in Grito. You ask around, but no one here has seen either of them. He doesn't seem to have visited the potion guild, the burgher's house, or Shady Orchards.

The sun is setting. It's a nice day here in Grito.
Guy's I don't know that we are out of the woods yet.

Rob I keep my eye on Vrill. I want to track where he's going and what he's up to.

"Greg, I don't know what you have in your spell book right now, but It might help you out to do a little trading."

"If your interested we should compare books."
  Calmmm And Relaxxed
Welcome back Renwick.

You guys are in Grito, do what you like. I'm in reaction mode for the time being.

Now that I'm back I wana keep it that way.

Didn't Abby say that we had to bring her some book and have her do something to make us "Alive"

I don't ever wan to go back to Hello.

What's up?
  Calm And Relaxed
Sure, go ahead and train on up. You know the drill, and special ed is +50% of training costs.

Grettin and Shettin shrug at the tree. "This was a gnome? Half-breed gnome? No? Well, we're not a druid, so there's not much we could do. Even if he was a half-breed." G&S pauses. "You know, you guys have been working pretty hard for the last year. Why don't you take a break? Things are fairly calm and relaxed here."
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

What type of dice? How many dice?

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