OK I pay the 10 gold to get a look around talk to people BR 19 for cha to smooze. I then hang out with the Red Lotus guys and watch Ninja flicks hoping to learn something.

To Brogg. "What'd I say? He just gives me that I'm a fucking Human attitude. I respect him, but I don't think he gives you the respect you deserve, you are Grisbanes choosen. I'll lay off about you being the leader around the other guys....but I have you back if they disrespect you again. I get it speak softly, but if you need a stick I'm your man. I'll keep it cool."

Later I take Dave out and drink with him maybe do some whoring etc. do some buddy activities 30 gold spent for whores and booze.
I guess I work on my flexibility.
I will purchase 2 Potions of Fire Breath, 2 vials of Flaming Oil, 1 Application of Oil of the Flaming Sword, and a Potion of Healing. I hope that Aleleaf Greendweeb doesn't get commission. Does the Potion Guild have a feedback form?

Anyway, if my math is correct, that is 952gp.

Oh, and Mike, you are now holding the Continual Light Torch in your tote. Could you make a note of that?

And uh, Marivhon, I would take great care when you address Dave, Fist of Odin. Grisbane knows that he hasn't been with us lately, but you are talking to someone who invoked the presence of Valhalla's Almighty Himself. You don't want to get kicked by an eight-legged horse, do you?

Ok, what's next? Cinder?
  Today's Double Feature Is: "Revenge of the Ninja" and "Enter the Ninja"
Yeah, sorry Brogg. I wrote this whole post where you went to the potion guild and there was some other stuff, and then when I pushed the big orange Publish Post button the website was down and lost all my stuff. I fuckin hate that. Happened when Cinder went to the science fair too a few months back, so I started composing the really long wrapup posts first in word then cut-n-pasting everything into Blogger.

Anyway, so okay, you go to the Durth Potion Guild. It's really busy, pretty packed, you have to wait in line for 30 min to get up to the counter. When you get there, who do you see but a familiar looking face! It's Gerald aka "Gnarls" the one-armed gnome. Apparently he got his sales posititon back in the guild and moved here after the Potion Guild closed their Grito office. Jerry stares at you in disbelief and stammers "You... wha... wha... you... but... I... you... wha..." and grows red in the face. He starts shaking violently, and two dwarf guards have to lead him out of the showroom. An elf comes over to you (wearing a nametag "Alelatholon Greensleeves, Apprentice. I'm eager to help!") and gives you some snooty elf attitude. "Can I help you. You can see we're awfully busy. What do you want. Sir."

Greensleeves gives you a brochure of fire magic:

Flaming oil: 1gp/vial
Potion of fire breath: 250 gp
Oil of the flaming sword: 300 gp
Ring of flaming spheres: 200 gp/charge
Sulfur of fire elemental summoning: 1000 gp

Plus potions of healing are always good, 1d8+2 each, 150 gp. Potion of protection vs arrows will be 300 gp.

Brogg, you mail off your picture back to the farm, no problem. For 50 gp you can get a pretty nice frame. Cinder, okay, book is shipped also. For special training you get +1 hp and a free language this level.

Marivhon, okay, you give a donation to the Red Lotus Gang. They have a monestary underground in some caves where they sip tea made from the lotus plant that grows underground also. Then they watch ninja movies and do some crazy ninja tricks. Some of the best ninjas can like walk on walls, or through walls, or catch shuriken in midair.

The Monks of Progress, it turns out, have a publicity office in Durth itself. However, the monestary is up in the mountains. You'll have to pay 10 gp if you want a tour.
ok, dave fist of odin.
First off to you. IF I slap you again it will be when you are standing there staring at an ooze like this last time and it will be to slap some sense into you, what where you doing. That was a bad time to stop and commune with your God. If you don't want me to try and help you out, well that just seems silly. Point of fact, when I slapped you you you weren't technically even home as it were in your body so it's arguable that I even slapped you as much as slapped you body hoping to remind you that you should get your soul back in it.

Next I got no problem with you pal you seem fine and you tried to buy me some shit so it's all cool. If Brogg let's you hang around with him, being the Champion of Grisbane and all then I am more than happy to have you with us.

Lastly I give the money to the Red Lotus Monks, but I do hang out with the Monks of Progress hopefully if we fuck with them I can learn a thing or two about the layout of the place, who the major players are and also what shit they might have. I let the pixie know that if he's gettin out of the hat it's cause he has an offer he comes up with that makes me happy. He has something cool and get's me some exp gold/cool shit then maybe I'll let him out after its taken care of.
Excellent plan, Cinder. Just let me take care of this Potion Guild business and let us head over to the Collie Farm.
Cinder slips the next Dragonlance book in the series in with Brogg's painting. I'll erase a few silver for that.

Cinder seems to recall info from the thieve's guild that Vrill's collie farm had been sold, and some potion guild folks skipped town. Maybe we should go back there and snoop around. We can check in with Grimes and the Blackwalls to see if they can help us root him out. What do y'all say?
I decided to get my drawing of the Crystal Cavern Unicorn Combat framed. I want a nice matting that displays the title along with my honorable mention ribbon. I'll pay 50gp to cover the cost.
I am going to ship it to Shady Orchards with this message for Mr. Greetles:


I hope that this letter finds you well. We are now passing our time in Durth, resting and training after our last adventure. The Elder(s) Grettin and Shettin asked that we vanquish a herd of Unicorns that had been plaguing the Mining Complex. Enclosed, you will find my personal rendtion of our last climatic battle with the Unicorns in the Magical Crystal Cavern. Thanks to Grisbane, we triumphed over the villains. Please find a place for it above the fireplace, will you?
You might have noticed a slim, young half-elf in the painting. That is Marivhon, a new Monk apprentice that has joined us. He is a bit odd, but nice enough.
I trust that things are going well at Shady Acres under your direction. I do not know what the immediate future holds, but I do hope to make a visit to Grito in the upcoming months.


I'll pay 10gp for the shipping.
Cinder special trains up to 5th. 3X backstab is the nuts. He also gets...4 more hit points and a lower Thac0. Not bad, not bad.

"Hey Marivhon, a word about those monks of progress. We (or I anway) were thinking of storming their compound and stealing all their shit. I don't know if you know that or not, but it's true. So maybe don't hang out with them so much. The ninjas are much cooler, -I think you know that."

"Brogg, your rhyme was fresh. Unicizzay on the hizzay, they give they horns up. Hells yea."

Rob, Cinder special trains with the Blackwalls, and roots around for anymore word about Vrill, and has Brogg bust a detect magic on Romeo's launcing steel horn. Either way, Cinder's gonna use it as a sweet dagger.
Great, I will add the Honorable Mention ribbon to my equipment list, but what about the Potion Guild? Do they have anything good for use against trolls? Or how about a potion of Protection from Arrows?
  A Hot New DVD
Marivhon, there are a couple monks' groups around town. One is relatively new, they seem like major players and they're pretty rich. They're called the Monks of Progress. They've got a hot new DVD out too, so you can find them at Tower Records. Basically, they're all about progress, change, self-actualization, being rich and powerful, that kind of thing. The other monk group is called the Red Lotus gang and they're ninjas, it's about what you'd expect, nunchuks and all that. If you want 200 gp of your 500 gp donation to go towards special training, either group will reserve some gym time for you when you get that magical 2nd level. Of course, getting that requires xp, which requires fighting, which requires an adventure, which is something you guys don't have right now.

Okay, you buy some shoes, crackers, etc... The pixie keeps cussing you out "hey corn cob, you suck", but thanks you for the cracker "so scratch my back I'll scratch yours, huh? What do you have in mind?"

You mentioned earlier that you were going to follow Mike around. Mike gets special training via the Durth Mining College. They have a special training facility for undead assassins deep in the caves, and the Blackwall Thiefs set him up there. So he's basically at zombie murder camp for two months. He doesn't really do much in his free time- stare at the wall, eat some flesh, make hats for his zombie pals.

Okay Brogg, you enroll at the Durth Community College. You take an art class, draw some flowers, vases, and as your final project the unicorn massacre. There's an open house at the end of the 8 week course, and you put up your picture with a lot of other pictures, like a mine tunnel, a flower, a woman's face, some dude's hay wagon, that kind of stuff. A 13 doesn't quite win you first prize, but everyone gets an "Honorable Mention" ribbon.
  Marivhon to the Pixie
"Look you attacked me you little fuck so you stay in the hat until I say otherwise. How long do you guys live anyway? Say with no food or water....I give him a cracker. Maybe if you can help me out a little I can help you out."

I will follow mike around, a little tuck him in after a hard day of patroling that sort of thing. I also chill at the Temple of Grisbane with my homeboy from time to time. I practice sneaking around and doing lots of acrobatics. Like I said just chillin. I buy a cloak, a shirt, some ninja shoes, a water bottle, some food for traveling in the future, and some gloves I donate 500 gp to the most rad monks I can find in the city as a gift, sort of (downpayment for special training monks have to tithe right?) I don't know I'll watch the blog and see if I need to post anymore.....
Sheeit, my freestyle is wild.

Anyway, if we are going to be hanging about town for two months, I am going to sign up for a drawing class at the local community art center. I want to make a drawing depicting the crystal cavern unicorn combat. How do I make drawing checks? d20? BR:13 if I do.

Also, I head over to the potion guild and ask them if they have anything that works particularly well against Trolls.

God, I feel so wise.
Hell yeah that's a kick ass theme song. All the niggaz, excuse me, priests of Grisbane, put tha hands up and give love. In fact, the party don' stop til 6 in the morning.

The priests of Grisbane love the song so much that they give everyone in your party 200 xp, 100 gp, and a healing potion (1d8+2 as usual). That's apiece. Plus, Brogg, you get your +1 WI. You guys crash on a couch, wake up, clean up, get the hell out.

As you leave the temple, you see a couple hardcore priests sitting on the stoop outside the temple, still bobbing their heads to the
Call lil Marivhon...

So there's all these unicorn horns too. Cinder, you've got Romeo's horn, but I forgot what your plan was. For all 10 other horns, you can get 5000 gp. 2000 gp of that goes to Cinder and Mike for special training, so go ahead and train. Brogg, Dave, and Marivhon, that gives you 1000 gp apiece I guess, meaning that after this post, Cinder and Mike have 100 gp, while Brogg, Marivhon, and Dave have 1100 gp (Grisbane party plus horn fee). You guys have two months to burn while Cinder and Mike special train.

Marivhon, looking more carefully at your hat... you notice that the pixie Mike wove into the lining isn't quite dead! No, he's not a zombie, Mike lost that power when he made Abby. The pixie is really pissed off about it:
"Hey you bastard... let me out of this hat! Or I'm gonna pee in your ear every time you wear me, you sick son of a bitch!"

Marivhon, you can hang out with Mike as he special trains if you want, although it's not necessarily all that great. The Blackwall Thiefs hook him up with a special facility associated with the DMC, all undead death squads, so he's basically at zombie murder camp for a few weeks. In his down time, he repairs Abby's gown and makes some more hats for his zombie pals.

Well aside from listening to Broggs wonderful song I think I hang out in town, maybe try to get someone in the party to buy me a shirt. I meditate, do some jazzercise, and basically contemplate things while hanging out on a pillar or something. I can't level so I hang out with the common man and try to help out as best I can, in a lawful evil sort of way. You know I teach street kids to stand up for themselves as bullies shit like that. I also try to get mike to fix this fucking hat now that we have some good light. I also would like to see what he does with his spare time. thats all.
Yo, check it
Call Lil' Marivhon
Tell that muh'fucker to bring me some muh'fuckin weed for this mortar
man fuck that
Tell that Monk to go pick up ten thousand from Greetles
and go take about like twenty G's from Vrill
Tell that muh'fucker get that wizard next door up out of here
Nigga be snorin all night I can't sleep (hehe)
Call that big butt Valkyrie with the long hair to come suck my dick
(Cinder: Bad Boy Brogg, c'mon)

The cleric said I need about three weeks of recovery
but the priestesses is lovin me
Sayin the best part of the day is my half
Feedin me breakfast, and givin me a sponge bath
Niggaz say I died dead in the mines
Nigga I'm gettin high, gettin head on the side
Chillin, sittin on about 13 unicorns
With all my niggaz, all my bolts, all my horns
Next two years, I should see 5th level
All for the love of Grisbane
Got no love for the wizards, fuck them tricks (Cinder: fuck them)
Any repercussion, Dave the Fist spit clips (Dave: that's right)
All the time, Mike the Zombie kick the war rhymes
Brogg flows, and that's how it goes

[The Party]
C'mon.. we are, we are
He is.. he is..

This for my niggaz slingin thangs, had my shield enchanted
Armor, bolts, Storm Key and things
For the bitches, who see them spells spin and grin
That shit with the G-trim that win
and the enormous fields full of unicorns
On the road to the riches more horns to drag
More niggaz to kill, than wizards to bag
Hit the potion guild and splurge the tab, uh
Hops, out the cart like, "Cinder, what up?"
Call me Half-Orc if you suck, call me Whole-Man when I nut
That's the end of us, get your apprentice to fuck
Untwist and bend him up, you know the deal
Niggaz talkin real greasy on some ballin shit (Cinder: that's right)
Funny how quick these pricks forget
Actin like I ain't the reason they traded they shit
Switched that Ogre, copped that Unicorn (Cinder: that's right)
It's all good, you know who this cleric is
Fuck the Joneses, niggaz tryin to keep up with the Broggses

[The Party]
C'mon y'all..
C'mon.. we are, we are
He is.. he is..
He is, he is.. (c'mon, what's his name?)
Dave, Fist of Odin, c'mon
We are, we are ..
Cinder the thief, we are, c'mon
He is, he is.. (B.R.O.G.G. baby, he is c'mon)
We are, we are ..
Bad Boy Marivhon,
Mike the Zombie, Born Again (he is.. he is..)
and he won't stop!
cause he can't stop, yeah, uh-huh
We are, we are.. (Grito baby!)
He is, he is...
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey all - sorry for spacing out. I was communing with my diety, and stuff. You know.

In the future, there may be a few days or a week where I'm not logging in. Rob, what I like to do is clobber. I think I said this before; if there's combat, and I'm not online, I bust shit up. Do I need to check in every day? Let me know.

Marivohn, a couple of things. Don't slap me again - us Fists of Odin take poorly to that. And the Brogg-Is-Our-Leader shit is starting to cheese me off - us Chaotic types don't take so well to leadership, you know? Ease off it.

Anyway. After Brogg does what he needs to do, my vote is for Valkyries. Hot babes that fight and drink? That's, like, my too-much-information kind of dream.

How much cash do we have? I buy a new helmet and some healing potions.
  Fuck It
Yeah, no Dave, no Dave quest. Too bad. Wha' happen? He forget to pay his AOL bill this month or something?

Anyway, Brogg, let's just say you Speak With Some More Animals, and instead of taking a right towards Grunna's, you head left down the mountain. Two days later, no random encounters later, you're back in town. Huzzah. Thieves can train if they got the $$.

Brogg, I suppose you're interested in that WI point Grettin and Shettin mentioned. Okay, so you guys head over to the Grisbane temple. There's lots of temple fanfare, congratulations for killing Andicorn, you the man. Er, half-man. You the half-man.

So Grettin and Shettin come out to meet you, you're dressed in a ceremonial black robe holding Andicorn's horn out in front of you. Shettin nods wisely (Grettin's not really paying attention, just playing his Gameboy) and smiles and you benignly. "Good work my son. The Ritual of +1 WI can begin. Take this mortar and pestle and grind the horn to dust."

You take the mortar and pestle, carved of magic marble, and begin the arduous process of grinding up the 5 foot long horn. It'll basically take you all day and night. Shettin continues.

"However, while you're doing this, there is a very important thing you must also do. You must..." and before he can finish, Grettin looks up and shouts:


There's some cheering from the audience: "Yes, a song! Sing us a song!" "You must have one!" "Bueno!"

Shettin, stunned, clears his throat. The hall goes quiet. Shettin looks at his- well, not brother, really? His other face or head or whatever, with a look that's one part disgust, one part pity, one part incredulous. Grettin grins stupidly and goes back to his video game. In the silence of the halls, you hear some bleeps and bloops... sounds kinda like Tetris, actually.

Shettin quietly says to Grettin: "Um, look, you're doing it all wrong. You have to make the shapes fit, I told you this already." Grettin ignores him.

Shettin looks at you: "Uh, anyway, I guess it has been decreed that you must sing your theme song. I had another ritual in mind, but why don't we just save that for later. Instead, you must craft a song about..." he sighs "A song about yourself. Please begin."

Back to town time. Brogg's busy. Mike buys Dave a hankerchief and wipes the drool trickling down his chin. His armor is also just NASTY from days of, you know, basic paralysis. Everyone else?
I do some acupuncture on Dave hoping to pull him out of his silent spell.
I happily follow Brogg our leader to the right.
"So whats up with this snorting some horn dust and stealing that foul Nar-ponies power? I think we should get on that."
Hmm, Grunna the Valkyrie. Not so sure if that is what we are really looking for. However, maybe she can do something for Dave, Fist of Odin. He seems a bit stunned at the loss of his helmet.

Well, I guess that I would be up for a cup of coffee or something, but let's not linger too long, eh? I still need to get back to Grettin and Shettin to report our success and crush this big horn.

With crossbow loaded, we continue to the right.
I take off my hat and put it in my satchel.
I try to MS 54 and HS 51 and keep off to the side of the party.
Follow their lead and keep my head down and my eyes peeled.
WIS for staying alert 3! I made my wis check nice....
thats all folks
Cinder high fives Zombie Mike on his joke and laughs (Successful WI check will reveal it to be a little forced).
"Dave fist of Odin seems to have been hit pretty hard in that last battle. Methinks that a quest for Odins missing Valkryie should snap him out of it. Onward!"

Cinder suggests we get our asses moving. He's gonna move behind the party and hide in the foliage with bow drawn. HS:50%. Hmm, well he'll get partial cover anyway should the shit hit the fan.
Mike the zombie chuckles and thinks it's a pretty good joke. He's got one:

"Knock... Knock."
("Who's there?")
("Vrill who?")

Well, I mean, you know, he's a zombie. At least he's trying.

Anyway, you guys continue back to where the sinkhole is, manage to find it, and climb out. It's dark and foggy now, so you travel a bit slowly and somewhat, although you hate to admit it, randomly. Sure, you can camp, Dave can Augury if he likes, receiving the message "TAKE THE HIGH ROAD" from Odin or whoever is checking Odin's 2nd Circle mail. The, uh, High Road? You're not sure what that really means, but you find a trail leading up along a ridge and go for it, because in the morning the fog is even worse than before.

None of you being Rangers, Navigators, or Direction Sense-itive, you can't really get your bearings and head back to Durth. Alas, training will have to wait a little while longer, thieves. But the high road it is, and after another full day of traveling, you come to a rickety old sign that reads:

Thee Great Hall of Grunna
Valkyrie of God, Deliverer of Valhalla
Straight Ahead to the Fork, Take a Right

Hmm, okay, well, although a day later Dave is still in shock, maybe checking up on Grunna ain't such a bad idea. At least there won't be any unicorns or ochre jellies. Probably just some mead and hot valkyrie babes. Sounds like a plan. You continue along the very old, overgrown trail, still making your way through the miserable fog, until you come to another road...

This concludes C1: Against the Unicorn King! Next up is C2: Against the Grand Master of Flowers (a module for characters level 10-14)!!

You camp for the night, wake in the morning and heal to full, so now everyone's okay, except Dave's still helmetless, thanks to a cunning ochre jelly.

And speaking of jellies and a helmet...
  INTERLUDE: In the Service of the Slime Lord
The Ochre Jelly stole quietly through the caverns, grinning evilly as it lugged its great prize behind it. True, his faithful gelatinous steed had been slain by the awful Shaped Ones, but he was sure his great master would grant him another, even more powerful, for the holy gift he was bringing for his master's glory.

OJ made haste through odd passages, forgoing the tiny cracks and holes he would prefer to take, being formless, because he must deliver his prize. Slinking through strange, ancient tunnels, carved long ago by eldritch, alien limbs, the warped, non-Euclidean geometry of the deep caverns might drive a man mad! But OJ was no man, no cursed Shaped One, he was one of the eternal, the Formless, and their time was coming. He could just smell it.

After hours? Days? What is time to an ochre jelly? OJ found himself entering the deepest, dankest, rankest cavern of them all, dripping with primodial ooze and ancient, inhuman intelligence. He was in the presence of the Master.

"Oh great one," burbled OJ in the secret language of the Formless. "I bring you a relic of the Shaped, stolen from a priest of one of their unholy gods, a god you will shortly crush under your feet, er, under your... self."
OJ humbly lay the helm at the feet of The Master and slinked away; he knew his Master's whims well enough that if he wish to stay disambiguated from the Spawning Pool, he should get the hell away, just in case.

The Master, with innumerable eyes forming in his grotesque formless, gazed at the Helm before him. Sixteen mouths full of fangs transiently formed, grinned, and disappeared back into the ooze.

"Yes... YES!" hissed the Master. "You will be rewarded, OJ, with a Cloak of the Brown Mold. I welcome this gift... and I know just the place for it! Heh heh."

The Master was on a roll, so he continued his rant. "Yes, as it was written in the Book of Slime, I, Jubilex, lord of ooze, lord of rot, I shall smear the Shaped Ones off the face of the earth and take my place as lord! With my slimes, my spawning pool, and my -8 AC, I am invincible! Yes!"

OJ was pleased with himself. As he wrapped the brown cloak around himself, he smiled, knowing that this was just the beginning, and that there was great things in store for a humble ochre jelly. Great things indeed.
Yes! So the mighty Andicorn has fallen. Grisbane's Will be done!

So, are we lost? Hmm. I thought that we might just head back up stream from the waterfall, up the sinkhole, and back the way that we came. Well, no problem. Dave, Fist of Odin, let us use some Augury spells to aid us in our journey out.

How is everyone doing? Do we need heals?

Sorry that I have been so quiet as of late; I have had a lot of things on my mind.
"uh yeah heh. I think that was funny Cinder."
Marivhon blinks a little, and gets up from his meditation.
"Well where ever you wanna go man."
"I would be happier though if we left our decisions up to Brogg."
"He is kinda in charge right?"
Marivhon looks a Brogg and then stands beside him.
"Come on Brogg you lead and lets see where it takes us."
I adjust my crappy Pixie hat.
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

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