9.16.2006
  Marivhon
round 3 attack hit nothing
round 4 miss, swish
round 5 hit ac 1 even with the -2 on all I do for 10 hps.
round 6 miss and a miss.
sorry not so posty I was in a hot tub for 2 days.
 
  Hold That Blog
Just to clarify, Moth, you're eating awful things during rounds 1 and 2. So the rounds you posted are actually for rounds 3-5, which'll bring you up to speed.

Tut, yeh, Hold Blog gets cast a lot around here. It's pretty nice to have seven players, as that means something is going to go on. Used to be, with three of 'em, combats could sometimes take two weeks to resolve.
 
  Moth
I take out my bow and start making a pincushion out of the queen.

This Round:
BR: 4
BR: 1
Eesh

Next Round:
BR: 7
BR: 13 (for 2 damage?)

Round 3
I just send another Magic Missile at her.
BR 3+1= 4 damage.
Ah, MM, you've always been there for me.

[Reposted from DiD:TT...]
 
  King Tut
Apparently that "Hold Person" spell was actually a "Hold Blog" spell and by failing Tut prevented anyone from posting for the rest of the day.
 
9.15.2006
  King Tut
Ok, Tut hits Brogg with a 9 (hits AC2) for 5pts.

Round 5, Tut fails his save with a 13, Tut you suck.
 
  Queenie Rounds 4 And 5
Round 4: Tut, go ahead and attack Brogg. Dave FoO, nope, Renwick not eating poo. For the record, someone else was eating poo. Renwick was eating the rotten internal organs of a fancy poodle. But he's back to good! And healed to full in round 4.

Brogg, you get the TK blast. Save vs. breath weapon, 20 or 10 hp dmg.

Round 5: Tut, make a save vs. hold person at -2. Queen also casts. Dave FoO, make a save vs. confusion.

...

Come on damn it, fight! FIGHT ON! I know you want the Queen's golden key.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey all,

Is Renwick still eating poo? I kinda ws under the impression he stopped doing that because of Tut's brave last-round actions.

If he is, I'll bust a Cure Serious (20 hp back) and pour a Cure potion into him.

If not, I cast Hold on Tut (which I do after healing Renwick, if Renwick needs it).
 
  Buzzsaw Turncoat Is A Sweet Band Name
Nice, okay Brogg and Moth, damage done.

Tut, sorry but you be charmed.

After Brogg's onslaught, you decide to interpose and focus on Brogg. Brogg, you have a new opponent... your friend King Tut!

Let the buzzsaw commence.
 
9.14.2006
  Brogg:
Damn guys, don't eat poo. That's nasty.

Hey Dungeon Master, 'twizzle' means 'two'. As in: I hit AC:2 last attack. That's 12 hizzle pizzles off Queenie.

Anyway, this is my two attack round, where Grisbane really dishes out the love. BRs:12,11. That's two hits for 11 and 14 points, respectively.

Hey Queen, you are what you eat!

Next round, more broadsword! BR:16. That's 13 more!
 
  King Tut
BR 13. Yoinks missed by 1 (Save v. spell = 14). Too bad it wasn't a save v. BW :(
 
  Moth
I spew out brain pie all over myself.

I then proceed to blast the queen with Magic Missile.

BR 4+1= 5 damage.

I draw my sword next round, and take a swing. Taste steel, foul Matriarch of Greyhelm! (It's better for you than the shit you normally eat, anyway...)

BR 13+2= 15 just barely doesn't hit.
 
  Clarifications
No, we're cool. While Dave FoO tried Dispelling, the Queen put up her thing and TKed all that stuff at him. Rounds 1 and 2.

Round 3 you go at her for 5 hp and shake Renwick out of it. Actually, that means she's good for casting. Charm Person on ya Tut. Go ahead and save vs. spells (we won't apply that aborted failed save to this, let's just wipe the slate clean).

Of course, we're ignoring time it takes to move into melee and all that, but that's boring, so don't worry about any of that.
 
  King Tut
Clarification: When you say I get the "Queen's [nasty] apple," does that mean I should make the save v. Breath Weapon for all the plates and stuff instead of DFoo? If so, I fail my save v. BW (BR 11) and would take 25 pts of dmg.

If not, I'll assume you mean that she's now focusing her attention on me (or something like that).
 
  Mea Culpa
Oops, sorry Tut. Okay, both saves made and 5 dmg done. Renwick handily makes his IQ check and stops after round 3, as you come out of it in round 2. Of course, this means you get the Queen's apple. And a nasty apple it is.

I guess... I guess sometimes, we all just aren't very good at reading the posts.

Carry on.
 
  King Tut
ATTN DM:
I made both my saves. Check my post. Tut remains at 51/51.

So I facialize her for 5 pts of dmg, and I'm assuming that you missed my post re: giving Renwick an IQ check to resist eating?

 
  Begin The Next Big Fight
Dave FoO, your bear, alas, goes right for the dinner table. Yum yum. (Save: 9 for him.)

Hmm, I've got a feeling y'all are not going to remember to make two saves. So here you go.

Mar: 1, 18
Moth: 19, 4
Ren (now three saves): 9, 8, 11
Tut: 4, 7

So HP count:

Brogg: 35/35
Dave FoO: 33/39
Mar: 20/26, -2 to all
Moth: 12/18, -2 to all
Renwick: 4/22, -6 to all
Tut: 39/51, -4 to all.

So actually Tut, you just barely hit, and for only 2 hp dmg (1 is minimum roll, +1) to the Queen. She's got some sort of Paul-Atreides TK melee shield up. So she's AC:3 everyone. That's before your aforementioned penalties to hit (so she's effectively AC:1 to Mar and Moth, AC:-1 to Tut, and it doesn't really matter for Renwick, who's about to eat himself to death).

Oh, and she's casting this next round.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
You know, I'm pretty sure the word's 'detritus', not 'deritus'. But hey - whatever - the man with the chainsaw gets to talk how he wants, I say. Especially when he's going after this bitch.

Oh - I BR a 14 for my save. No problem.

I bring in a bear and li'l-potion myself (BR5 for 6 hp back).

Then we'll see how it goes.
 
  King Tut
BR 15 and 18 IN YOUR FACE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Round 1:
Ok, I take my first round to puke up all the nastiness and throw all the food on the floor. "You can't eat anymore Renwick, it's all dirty now! You know how dirty and diseased this place is, so I'm sure you would NEVER eat food that has been on the floor here!" I'm hoping to give Renwick an IQ check to cease eating and get with the program.

Then I spark the chainsaw up. "I came here to eat deritus and kick ass, and I'm all out of deritus."

Round 2:
BR 12 hits AC -1 , for 1+4 = 5 pts.
 
  Eat Shit And Die
Wow, you really did have two Dispels memorized. You know what? The mages here in Greyhelm were right... it really is a pretty good spell. And quite the turnaround now:

Marivhon: 17
Moth: 17
Renwick: 7
Tut: 20

No shit. Well, actually, the three of you look down in disgust and horror at your hands and platters. TWO saves vs. poison for each of you. Except you, Marivhon, I guess you're used to this kind of... shit.

For each save you miss, you're at -2 (cumulative) to everything and take 6 hp damage.

...

"You wrecked my party," whines the Queen. "You STINK."

She hefts her sceptre, surrounding her massive bulk with a shimmering field. She then gets all "Empire Strikes Back" Darth Vader on you Dave FoO, telekinesing all sorts of cutlerly, platters, and 'foodstuffs' your way. Save vs. Breath Weapon there FoO, for half: 25 or 12 hp damage.

Renwick keeps stuffing his face, clearly in a daze. His body begins to reject the rancid detritus, and he keeps eating despite vomiting up all over himself and his plate.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Well, Fuck. I burn another dispel. That's it if there's more casting!

Then, I bring in a bear.

Then the clobbering and healing as necessary - you know how I roll it.
 
  Moth
Wow, the food at the Grito orphanage was never this good! I mean, this stuff is choice. Ooh, check out that pie! I wonder what's inside...

Gods save the Queen! That's what I always say!
 
  Ca Va
Okay, the Dispel Magic has to get a 15 or better for each person. In the interest of time, I'll just handle the rolls here:

Marivhon: 4
Moth: 13
Renwick: 8
Tut: 6

No deal, sorry Dave FoO. Le feast, c'est continue.
 
  King Tut
What are you guys talking about? This stuff is great. And the Queen is just letting us chow down. And these plates and stuff are really cool. I'm glad we came here. "Sorry I said all that nasty stuff, thanks for inviting us."
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Ummm . . . hunh. Well, Odin believes in allowing one to follow one's own path - as long as that pathway and my mace intersect appropriately. But sometimes the Fist of Odin just gets wicked grossed out.

Dispel magic on the feasters. I mean - Eeeuw!
 
  Queen Size
"Come, pets," coos the Queen. She stuffs her face with a putrescent rabbit wearing a brown ribbon and stuffed with cheese.

"Won't you join our party? We've seating for just a few more. And try these scrumptuous little cupcakes! They're absolutely to die for."

Marivhon joins the banquet and digs in.
 
  Marivhon
looks like I'm hungry I got a 10 after my bonuses.
I dig in, good stuff I say!
 
9.13.2006
  Uh Oh
Of all the saving throws you really didn't want to fail, that would be the one.

No, it's not like you were fireballed, or slay-living-ed or something.

Those of you who failed: Renwick, Moth, and King Tut- you suddenly feel very famished. In fact, you've never seen such a wonderful table of delicacies. You quickly take a seat and begin to gorge yourselves on the amazing treats on display. Mm-mmm.

Dave FoO and Brogg, you're taken aback for a second when you see your friends rush the table- only to consume the most nasty things you've ever seen. Cannibalism, coprophilia, all of nature's unedible things. It's only the more disgusting when all these things are presented on what was once beautiful silver, pewter, and china.

Dave FoO, there's no undead to be seen here, but you try... nothing happens. Brogg, are you running up to attack the Queen? Sounds like a miss.

The three others wolf down some goodies.
 
  Moth
Save vs. Spell BR 4.

I pack away the book of spells for now. That will definitely come in handy some day. Fireball, especially.

I give Tut the RUYLOPEZ thing.

I ready my flamethrower. I'm no cleric, but I know when a place needs cleansing.

Hey, Brogg or Dave, either of you guys know of any gods of fire?
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Save vs. Spells? A 16. Makes it handily. What are we saving against?

Then I attempt to turn the undead. Seems like there's a lot of potential undead in here. If Brogg has an undead buddy following him around, though, I won't turn it.

I miss Mike the Zombie 1K. I hope he's doing all right. Maybe Zelba knows where he is?

After that - we'll see what the sitch is.
 
  Renwick:
Save Vs. Spell is an 8.

Do your worst babe.
 
  King Tut
Save v. Spells = 6, failure. But come on, we've been seeing nothing but rot and decay for this whole dungeon.

I get a grip and tell myself, "yes, this place is disgusting. Doctors and scientists have to see crap like this all the time. Deal with it." And then I spark up the buzzsaw. "You had a nice place here Queenie, don't know why you let it all go to waste, but it's time to get this joint cleaned up. P.S. You aren't attractive, and HPB said he never loved you."

BR 11 hits AC1 for 5+4 = 9 pts.
 
  Brogg:
I'll hold the Ruby Ring for our next training.

King Tut, you seem to be strategically inclined. I think you'd know when we really need RuyLopez.

Those spells are pretty good.

Anyway, speaking of: Save vs. Spell, BR:20. Aw yeah. Shizzle vs. Spizzle!

Yo Quizzle,
I'm tha B-rizzle!
Straight outta Grizzle
I represent the G-bizzle!

Yo Dizzle?!
A cup of Shizzle?
Hold tha Pizzle,
An' taste my B-swizzle!

BR:8. Hmm. Is your AC less than twizzle? If not, subtract 12 hizzle pizzles.
 
  The Worst Feast
Okay, you get the 10 Pretty Good Spells spellbook.

Moth's Detect Magic: Well, my memory's pretty bad of what I give you guys, so if I miss something, remind me. The spellbook and chess piece are magical. Keys are not, ruby ring is not.

Spells in the book:
Sleep
Charm Person
Invisibility
ESP
Fireball
Dispel Magic
Ice Storm
Polymorph Other
Contact Other Plane
Cone of Cold

At some point you can ID the chess piece. It's remarkably non-descript for a chessman, combining qualities of bishop, king, and pawn. You ID it and learn it's the Chessman of RuyLopez, a powerful strategist from another dimension. If you throw it on the ground and yell "RUYLOPEZ", he'll arrive for 64 rounds. Grant each of you +3 to hit, dmg, AC, and saving throws as he coordinates your master strategy. Of course, Ruy himself is AC 10 with 8 hp, so be careful with the guy. One use only.

The gems are 500 gp each, and the ring is a fat 4000 gp.

...

Up to level eight, the Queen's chambers.

This level is even more lavish than that below. Metallics and soft hues swirl in beautiful Southern marble. Frescoes depict decadent scenes of banquets, parties, gardens and pastoral views, maidens and shepherds and that kind of stuff. Sniff, sniff. It smells of lavender in here.

And foulness, as you push open a purplish set of double doors, revealing a gigantic feast hall. A long table dominates the room, covered in what was once a magnificent banquet, but all the food has gone to rot. If 'food' it once was... you see corpses dressed and arranged for the eating on the table itself, a platter piled high with rotting entrails, a beautiful gold goblet filled with feces. And so on.

At the end of the table awaits the hideous Queen of Greyhelm. Everyone make a save vs. spells.
 
  King Tut
I start running up and down the stairs and shadow boxing while humming "Eye of the Tiger" to myself, in order to prepare for the coming fight. Eat my brain (jab) , screw you mind flayer (uppercut).
 
9.12.2006
  Moth
Geeze, the poor Prince... that may have been a bit rash, Brogg...

Any way, I've got his stuff now. Which Chess figure have I got?

"Magical Abilities Negligible?" We'll freaking see about that. I unlock the book of pretty good spells. What eldritch might doth this tome contain? Perhaps the power to rend the multiverse, or control the common housecat? Or is it another blank book?

So Vrill thinks I'm a pyro? Fuck him, I'll burn him and everyone he cares about.

I bust a detect magic on all the stuff I got. Who needs some gems/magic items?
 
  King Tut
I bet that chess piece is one of those magical figurines that you throw on the ground and it turns into the creature it resembles. What is the chess piece of?
 
  Marivhon
alright then maybe we keep doing the time warp maybe not, either way up and onwards to the queens level eh? Move Silent and Hide in Shadows. Made and barely made.
 
  More Fun Facts
Brogg, nicely done. Well that was an easy kill. You butcher the Prince. The head rolls off and lands on the floor below.

Moth, that makes it pretty easy to loot the Prince. He's got:
-another golden key (opens one of the library vaults, pick one book if you want)
-a large silver key
-ruby ring
-piece of ripped paper with a partial drawing of something pointy, the word YH written on it
-pouch containing three medium-sized gems and a beautiful ivory chesspiece

Dave FoO, Dispel Magic doesn't work. Golden keys work.

...

Terminal fun.

I GRISBANE (History)

God of half-breeds. The theology of Grisbane is incredibly complicated, and... [edited here for brevity, as you know most of what it says here].

Recently, the clergy of Grisbane has suffered several setbacks. The rise of the Monks of Progress, and the destruction of Greyhelm by the Knights of Armek have done almost irrepairable damage to the faith and credibility of the Church. The Inner Circle of the Church fled to Port Fflar and the Island Empire of the North, taking with them all of their holy artifacts from the main Greyhelm temple (except for the Crucibles of the Champion and the Contrarian, as these two individuals have gone missing in the diaspora).

...

I MOTH (Private)

A mercenary and known thief, "Moth" tried to be a bard but apparently couldn't pass the BSATs. Associate of some of Grito's worst criminals, where one finds this Moth, you should expect to find some flame (e.g., burning down your familial property). Magical abilities negligible, but like all members of the lower classes, treat with care and violence.

...

I MOP (History)

The Monks of Progress (MoP) are a mysterious band of mountain-dwelling monks ini the vicinity of Durth. Recently they have seized a great deal of power, taken over Durth, and have built a giant metal dome in hopes of repelling the Knights of Armek. Their leader is the charismatic Mysterious X, the Grand Master of Flowers, who consolidated power in his organization and in Durth with the capture of a valkyrie. His background is unknown, hence his name. It is believed that the Mysterious X only has one weakness... a weakness buried in his mysterious past. Certain members of the MoP are Elemental Masters, and can travel across the planes of existence.

...

I DAVEFOO (Private)

Dave is the Fist of Odin. De facto leader of the now-powerless "Church" of Odin, as the High Priest drank himself comatose and was slaughtered by the Knights of Armek. Dave poses a serious threat to modern society due to his healing abilities and affinity with summoned beasts. Wanted for 37 counts of reckless behavior, murder, and sabotage. Do not approach, except with readied weapons and immunity from bears.

...

I ODIN (History)

Once-mighty god of Valhalla and the dead. Odin lost favor with the take-over of Durth by the agnostic Monks of Progress. Currently led by the Fist of Odin, as apparently the Brains of Odin drank himself to death. Like other Norse deities (e.g., Loki, Thor, the Midgar Serpent), lives in Gladsheim, an outer plane of big giants and big prizes.

...

I AMOURAN (History)

Powerful weapon of Dwayne, high-priest of Isaac of the Jug. Amouran was once a seer of Isaac, until bereft of her powers by Dwayne after his conversion to the dark powers of Zelba. It is said that if Amouran is bathed again in the holy waters of her shrine, Isaac will return her to grace. Once missing, this weapon was reclaimed by Dave, the Fist of Odin, and turned somehow into a magical suit of armor.
 
9.11.2006
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey! I want to see about:

a) Me.
b) Odin
c) Amouran

So I type I DAVEFIST
and I DAVEFOO

You know.

Great. We get the keys and try to get some more books. I'll even bust a Dispel on one of the cases to see if that works. Then to . . . the gardens? I think we've got a little more to do here first, though.
 
  Moth
Swiping the Prince's keys? That's damn ambitious for a theif of my level and station, but what the hells, I'll give it a shot.

BR 73 says it was a little out of my league. He might be dead by now, though, in which case I just snatch the keys.

I check out info on myself and the Monks of Progress on the terminal. I guess that's I MOTH and I MOP or I MONKSOFPROG, I forget what the character limit is. Also I GRISBANE. This stuff is highly interesting. Since Vrill clearly wrote this stuff, I say we check out everything we can on his perspective. Know thy enemy and all that.
 
  Brogg:
I chop off his head!!!

I chop off the Prince's head!
 
  But It's Not Like He's Really Going Places
Yeah, okay, you guys often are on the ball.

But Marivhon, you don't have an admin password, so you don't have access to admin functions. None of the crap you've tried is good as a password, so you can't ADD/EDIT/DELETE any of the files on any of the terminals. Sorry buddy.

Maybe it's best right now to stick to the Prince.
 
  Marivhon
I'm not just leaving graffiti. I'm trying to leave a message to look up a specific thing, me. By doing this I hope to pass on information in case someone like Shi follows in our footsteps or maybe leuco. Since the entries already exist then I will edit them so they reflect better on our character. You say we never follow anything up and when we do you get impatient. Hardley seems fair.
I will admin edit the information so that it's more to my liking. The freaking Mindflayer can go fuck himself, he left, if he's impatient then he should just teleport back on in and we'll fight.

"Hey moth you wanna try to lift those keys off that guy?"
 
9.10.2006
  Not In A Zombie Way
Marivhon, the glass cases are magical. That means, without a golden key, giant strength, awesome thief stats, or powerful magic, you can't break them open.

The terminals are more like ATM machines, big boxes with an alphanumeric keypad, but no obvious way to turn them off or on. Sure, you take a dagger and inscribe your name on it, 'tagging' the terminal for posterity.

You type a lot of stuff, but don't really seem to understand how to use these terminals, as

I MARIVHON

brings up

Marivhon, known criminal. Devotee of Grisbane, this half-elven monk is wanted for various crimes against the state and certain citizens, including kidnapping, theft, and multiple counts of first-degree murder. Approach with caution if seen.

That's in the Private terminal. Similarly,

I BROGG

brings up

Brogg, half-orc priest of Grisbane and wanted criminal. Part of a band of thugs who've committed numerous crimes against the state and private citizens. Not much of a threat to civilization, as his priest powers are capped due to a sub-par Wisdom. Regardless, handle with discretion and arrest on sight.

...

Marivhon, you find a post-it note, write your peace, and leave it stuck to the side of the terminal. Somewhere, a mind flayer grows impatient.

...

Up in the Prince's Quarters... yeah, it's the standard impaled guy, eyes rolling, blood, madness sort of stuff. I got it initially from this crazy old Judge's Guild mini-adventure where this guy was mummified, poorly, but has an amulet keeping him alive, and his 'friends' left him staked through the wall as they couldn't kill him. Great illustration of said mummy. Judge's Guild, we hardly knew ye.

Anyway, you have to get close to see what he's got. Okay, you get closer.

He's got a number of valuable looking things, including a little gold key and a larger key on his necklace.

He's still not responding. Seems disinterested in playing chess.

You guys seem to get paralyzed when you have more than one or two options ahead of you. There are six dungeon levels you can possibly explore, including the rest of the Gardens, the Museum, the rest of the Prince's Quarters, Queen, King, and Solarium.

Somewhere, a mind flayer yawns and eats some guy's brain.
 
  Brogg:
Hmm... some things are difficult in Blog format, no?

I type: I BROGG into each terminal.

After that moment of self discovery, I am ready to play some Chess. I ask the prince if he'd like to play a game.
 
  Marivhon
'admin add Marivhon we are here in Greyhelm we are trying to make our way to the top of the keep to follow Vrill. We have been commanded to kill Vrill and his daughter by Lady Zelba. I think the daughter may not need to be killed but rather have an audience with the lady to sort a few things out. We have no idea what is going on. The book of poppies and the mirror world that Vrill sent us to seem relevant items of interest. The Monks of the order of Progress may be involved as well. The Grand Master of Flowers should shed some light if his identity and interests can be revealed. Vrill although there are rumors he is my father is not to be trusted at all. He is an enemy of civilized peoples everywhere I would imagine he serves the forces we oppose whether willingly or not I do not know. If you are reading this I wish you luck, and hope that you will meet me alive and well some day.

I will try a couple of variations to make sure that this information can be pulled up by typing
'I Marivhon'

I will also try to inscribe my name if it works on the bottom of the information terminal, or atleast nearby.

I am content to read further the further actions of the party.

How about them glass things over the books though Rob I posted a lot of questions about some other unaddressed items.
 
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I am very uncomfortable around the terminals, especially after seeing the difference in the info post about Vrill. So I go cat up the dead prince. I ask him "What's the word?", and don't want to say the G-word just yet.
 
  King Tut
I lay down until the mind flayer eats my brain.

We are mesmerized by the terminals. Hopefully we'll be back in combat by, say, Wednesday.
 
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