King Tut
Ok, I attack the one on Marivhon.

Just kidding. Since Mar is fine, I attack the one grappling FoOManchu and do not administer a potion at all. BR 16 is a hit, d8 =7 for 12 pts.

Round 5: If I don't log in before Round 5, here are my 2 attacks:
BR: 3
BR: 4

crappy blogroller! Tho I am the man when it comes to d8, have you seen my rolls? Like all 7's and 8's.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Two saves versus poison? BR 9 and 11. Makes 'em both.

I pop another potion for 13 hp back.

Then - ummm . . . the Shambler's on me? Hmmm. Can I make a grapple check?

No no - this isn't 3E, and the grapple rules suck anyway (they're like AD&D psionic rules - slow the game down AND make it less fun). I'll just smash this shambling fucker. BR 14, BR 2 for 6 points damage.

You're keeping track of my armor's damage-reduction, right? And how's the bear doing? I imagine he's just claw-clawing it, since with a bite comes either a mouthful of bracken and rotten leaves, or diseased gardener - either way it's no good. but maybe he can get a hug in on the gardener?
  Shambler Fight Rs3/4/5 Revisited
Okay, great. Let's see where we are in Rounds 4 and 5...

Marivhon, after the cures, you're at 12 hp at the end of round 3. So you're up and ready to go in round 4. Plus, Blessed from the Aid and no longer puking.

Tut, you kill Shambler 1. Brogg's damage (31 points!) gets put on Shambler 2.

Dave FoO, you're up to 36 hp and feeling much better. Still gotta save vs. poison though. You hit the Gardener pretty good in round 5. Both he and the Shambler retaliate for another 20, dropping you to 16, make ANOTHER save vs. poison, and you're now taking automatic Shambler damage every round from being grappled in its ropy limbs.

Guys, there's a moderately wounded Gardener and Shambler left here, both still attacking Dave FoO. We're in Round 5, moving into Round 6, so make sure you're caught up. It's a little confusing, sure, but it's all been worked out, ya?


By the way, Dave, I know this should be Table Talk, but I since I have your attention, I'll just write it here. Just got the word that we've got at least 2 ladies comin' for Thurs. Trying to get another 3 more. I took a look at the setlists and they look fucking great, actually, stuff I've been wanting to hear for a while. Should be a fun night unless the place is totally dead.

Carry on.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Shit. I MEANT to give all the healing and stuff to Marivhon - I mean, he's the wounded one, right? Can we retcon that?

Ah, well. I'm at how much? Okay. I cure serious myself for 17, and then drink a potion for another 14. That should get me all goin' and shit. Instead of the Badger, I mean.
Once again, there's a serious confusion regarding combat targets here. Huh, I would've thought it was very simple.

Marivhon's unconscious and bleeding body has been tossed aside. No one is attacking him. All three opponents are attacking Dave FoO.

But do as you will. Unless I hear otherwise soon, I'll just proceed with people's posted actions.
For some reason, Brogg feels like he's had a few White Russians...

Marivhon!!! Tut, give him the juice!

I chop up the Shambler that's on Marv! BR:15. That's 9 points.

Tut, really, give him the juice!

Then it's two attacks on either Shambler, Marivhon's has priority. BRs:19,8. Yeah, two hits for 10 and 12.
  Tut's Choice
Tut, it takes a full round action to give a potion to someone else. Plus, it'll reset your attacks, meaning that regardless of whether you were going to get 1 or 2 attacks, if you interrupt the sequence, you're back to 1 attack next round. Also, Dave FoO is the current target of all three combatants. Shambler 1 does look pretty rough though.
I have a very strange dream where I have a picnic with Vrill and talk about how things could have gone. I hug him and we tell each other that we love each other. He tells me that my mother would be proud of me. His daughter interrupts our feasting and he hugs her too and looks at me and I know what to do. The blood flows out of her and into a pool on the ground where I can make out the world like a map made of her. Pieces of his flesh are the land and bits of bone are mountains. Her blood makes pretty little streams and pools into little oceans and seas. I realize that she's beutiful.

I wonder if I'll ever wake from this dream.
  King Tut
Can I administer a potion to Marivhon during my 1 attack round? I don't know if that takes a full round, or can be done in addition to normal actions. I am right up there so I wouldn't have to move at all (I've been attacking the mound that was on him).

If I can administer a potion, I'll use the extra healing for 3d8 + 3 = 18 pts of healing on Marivhon. If I can't attack and administer a potion, let me know and I'll figure out what else to do.

Also, I don't know what determines action priority in Round 4. I'm pretty sure my forecasted 25 pts of dmg will kill the one mound though. I rolled a 5 for initiative if that's relevent. Otherwise, I think we should leave the injured mound alone cause I think I'll kill it. Then again, if someone else kills it, I assume my damage will just be applied to something else.

>> Brogg is going to be gone all day at a bbq. I don't know much about his character, but can someone decide whether he should heal or attack? Or as a cleric, can he try to turn the gardner?
  Into Round 3: Big Dmg
Yeah, it's weird... Marivhon's the only one who's hurt, and yet Dave FoO just dumped the healing off to the side. But Mar's up to 10 hp. After round 2, the Shambler squeezes you for 16, dropping you to -6. It drops you and turns on the bear... no, the Gardener's a little smarter than that. Everyone turns on Dave FoO.

Guys, you only gotta make one CON check to resist the nausea.

Tut, sorry, you're right, you and Brogg did a total of 36. The 23 was just you, my mental arithmetic feebed at the end. That Shambler is looking pretty bad.

The bear gets in a hit on Snips for 3 hp. The guy's still doing fine.

Dave FoO, Shambler attacks for 16, make a STR check to avoid being hugged. But Gardener misses. And in round 3, the Shamblers get you good for another 12, plus 7 dmg from the Gardener, make a save vs. poison or be diseased. That's 35 hp, dropping you to 5 hp with the apple. Want to change your queued actions there? Remember that Tut is FULL, while you have 5 hp and Marivhon's now at -7.

Bear gets a paw smack on the Gardener for 6 in round 3.

We're up to the end of round 3 guys, please post. It's suddenly looking very very bad.
  King Tut
I did 23 pts myself in round 2. I'm not sure how much Brogg did, but combined we must have done more than 23 pts in the round.

Also, I haven't been hit yet, so the Aid spell is awesome, but could we move the potion to Marivhon instead of myself? He's the one that has been injured.

2 more round of Con checks, 1 and 7, no worries at all.

Round 3: BR: 2 = nada.

Round 4: BR: 13 and 14, 2 hits. d8: 7 and 8 (wow the d8's are HOT for me). That's 25 pts of dmg, hopefully on the mound that is attacking Marivhon, otherwise on the other mound.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
CN check: BR4. No problem. This place smells like Sunday morning at Odin's temple. Two more CN checks? BR 9 and 12. Again, my experience with the Big O is coming in handy.

Round 1: Bring in a Bear. The bear's name is Nixon, and she goes to it on the gardener.

Round 2: Aid on Marivhon. +6 HP, +1 to hit/damage.

Round 3: Aid on Tut, and a potion to him, too. The Aid spell gives +5 hp (with a +1 to hit and damage); the potion gives +7. There you go, buddy - 12 hp of Odin's favor.

Round 4: Clobbering time on Mr. Gardener. BR 10 - BR 3 - 7 points damage.

And for the future, just in case:

Round 5: Badger comes in! Yee-ha!

Round 6: Clobbering time once more. BR 20 - BR 4 - 16 points of damage. Hee-wack!

Then, can I get an HP check?
  Into Round 2: Gro-More
Tut, the buzzsaw does d8. I was originally thinking d6+1, but d8 is fine. You buzz away at the Shambler with Marivhon.

Renwick, yeah, some monster lore would come in handy. Especially today, as it turns out that lightning makes Shambling Mounds GROW in size. They each gain 14 hp, and the Gardener makes his save, taking 7 more. You've got another round as they approach, plus two rounds now in combat, if you'd like to cast more Lightning Bolts their way.

Brogg in round 1 does 10 to the Shambler+ with Marivhon.

Into round 2, Brogg and Tut do a combined 23. Guys? Gotta save Marivhon...

Moth has two rounds (both in melee), Renwick has three rounds (2 in melee), Schmektor and Dave FoO have four rounds (2 in melee). Report in, and we'll go from there...
  King Tut
I'll be out most of the day so here is round 2 from me:
BR: 15 hit
BR: 14 hit

d8: 8
D10: 5
d12: 1

d8: 7
d10: 4
d12: 8

add 4 damage to each of those (I'm not sure what die dmg the buzzsaw does).

I -Ralph- start in on a Shambling mound. Broadsword style. BR:8. That hits AC:4 with that -2. Yep, I -Ralph- tag a Shambler for 10.

Next round, I double chop that Shambler, BR:14,2. One hit for -Ralph- 13.

Lightning? Nooooo!!!!
uh strength check missed. I am immune to all natural diseases. So unless these are of the specific spell active kind then probably not a problem. The Shambling mounds on the other hand are.
I got a 14 on the Strength check. And for the yoga and tumbling and all that shit I got a 20 on my dex check so it looks like I got whats coming. Doh.
"Ah fuck kill Vrill for me woul........." eeck.
Con check 8.

I try to wing off a lighting bolt at all three as they approach while I sucessfully choke back the bile.

Lightning bolting these slimes and such scares me, my peasent lore is pretty crappy.

Can I take a nwp of monster knowledge. It could only be for spell effects, I don't care. Can I blow it up or not? What else really matters.

If your Tut the question is how much can I sell it for?

Anyway, I lightning bolt for 14. I'll hit as many as I can without hitting a party member.
  King Tut
Ok, I think these guys may be immune to piercing and blunt. He just shrugged off 2 big arrow hits. Maybe we can only beat him by doing severe physical damage, like cutting him up or setting him on fire.

Tut will spend his 2 free rounds casting about for defoliant. I'll roll scrounge 2x: 1st = 64 (too high), 2nd = 18 (would make). If I find something, let me know, I'd love to have our blunt-weapon using crew be able to throw some stuff at these guys.

I'll start the buzzsaw up and try to cut Moth/Marivhon free from the shambling mound (I forget which one got caught). BR 15 is a hit. I don't know how much a buzz saw does, so I rolled a d8, d10, and d12

d8: 8 + 3 + 1 = 12
d10: 9 + 3 + 1 = 13
d12: 2 + 3 + 1 = 6
  Lvl 4 Battle Round 1: The Leg's Gotta Go
Moth, nope, the sword doesn't glow or anything, but you just kinda know who's an adventurer and who isn't. These guys aren't, they don't really go on adventures. As fer the shoes, well, yeah, you sorta dance around, but it's not so much gay as just a lot of fancy foppish footwork. It's not like you're Electric Sliding all around the battlefield.

Looks like all you guys start ralphing. Nausea is -2 to hit and +2 to be hit. Now ya know.

And speaking of, the Shamblers are AC:5 and the Gardener is AC:6.

Moth, two solid hits on the Gardener as he limps up. The arrows thump deep into his chest, and slow, grayish blood drips down his overalls. He pays the damage no heed.

"Snip. Snip." The deformed figure wipes some drool and skin from his bloated lips.

"Time for cuts. Time for snips."

Marivhon, you critical fumble looks like. The Gardener takes his massive shears and cuts deep into your thigh for 10 hp. Make a save vs. disease unless you're immune to that too. Gets a miss, and orders the two Shamblers to tag-team you. Another hit for 12, and make a STR check to avoid being hugged by the ropy, disgusting arms. You have 4 hp and are doing bad.

"Snip off that leg for you," and you worry about what comes in rounds 2 and 3.
Note: I've got 3 magic missiles memorized for my spell list.

Okay, two rounds until the creepy gardener guy arrives. Are he and his mounds adventurers? Is Rupert's sword like Sting from the Hobbit, like it glows when it's favored enemy is around? Then again, we're adventurers, so it would always glow. Fuck that.

I ready my bow, and fire a volley of four arrows at the gardener.

BR 9 for 5.

BR 18 for 8.

BR 3 for 7.

BR 20 for 7 x 2= 14.

Con check BR 16 fails it. Hope I still get shoot those arrows.

Do I have to dance during battle to get my +1 Dex/AC? Hm, that could either look really cool or sissy as hell. Dex check BR 10 says?
Yeah, thanks Marivhon, but I am already specialized in hammer. I am going to wait to find one. I'll hold onto the +1 Kopesh for a bit. -I rolled a 4 on that d6.

Con check, BR:20. -Ralph.

Oh, fuck! What is that?! -Ralph.

Shit, I'm sorry. Oh, they're coming! -Ralph.
"Hey Brogg Dave has en extra Mace +1 and it's blunt."

con check eh...an 8. Hrm is it like a natural poison sort of thing? I am a monk.
ah well I get sick. Well I do some breathing exercises and try to calm myself down with my yoga skill before these things get into melee. I get a 5 on a d20 for a check to chill out on the sick.

"Hey Tut, you may want to look around for some plant defoliant in here it might help with the big plant looking guys."

I'll wait until it's fight time then fuck up the gardener, or let him fuck me up cause I got a 1. Not such a great start.

"You are one ugly fucking dude. Wow."
  King Tut
BROGG: "Dave FoO has a +1 mace available for trade, just ask him."

I'd also like to pick up a lighter in the village before we leave, I assume it's a negligible cost. Maybe I'll build one instead.

Holy crap, con check = 20. Welcome to nausea-ville, population: 1. Slot the credstick, chummer.

That sounds like a great plan Otto. I like the pockets of glowing mold. Maybe we can turn it into a children's garden or something, build little toys and amusement rides for them. What do you think? You any good with kids?

NWP Assisted Fighting sounds cool, if I use an NWP for that, can I still use my unarmed 3x spec? That's the reason I wanted to attach stuff onto the gauntlet, to piggybck on the unarmed spec. This NWP would allow Tut to use little creations to assist him in combat, maybe little trinkets that shoot stuff, enhanced weapons, armor, etc.

So, so far we have slime monsters, a demon, an otyugh, an insane (but not undead) HP, a clay golem, some automatons, 2 shambling mounds and an undead gardner in this dungeon? What could have caused all this. Too bad HP is dead.
  Level 4: The Botanical Gardens
Dave, okay, you've got the badass golden mace. That's a pretty good weapon there.

Otto sez: "Hey there. Yeah, beer's pretty good. I prefer the old Greyhelm microbrews to the Durth sludge they sometimes import here. You know who has great beer? The Desert People of the South. It's this honey-mead kind of thing. Goes great with... well, it goes great with trash, so it might not be for you. Hand me that spade? Thanks pal. Yeah, thanks, these ferns just sort of grow themselves. Marigolds didn't really work out so well. I'm wondering if maybe a fluorescent mold garden might be nice up here. A rainbow or shapes would be pretty tacky I think, but individual pockets of different colors, or maybe a green-blue melange, it might look alright."

Tut, you'll still be a PC if you become the Ghoulmaster.

Okay, you've got the buzzsaw attached, but I'm gonna want to see another WP or NWP devoted to Exotic Weapons or Mechanical Fighting or something, else you're gonna take a -2 penalty to hit.

By eating people, I mean you have to eat people. So a person is pretty big. That'll feed you for a week, maybe a few weeks if you go long enough. Ghouls eat dead people too, so you don't necessarily have to become a murderer. Up to you.

If you don't eat people, well, you'll starve. Pretty basic. Just imagine if you were seriously, deathly allegic to anything but people meat, and there you go, just like being alive with an odd food habit.

Brogg, hmm. Unlikely that mini-Greyhelm just has a +1 Hammer lying around for trade. If you get a 1 on a d6, you can do it, otherwise, look elsewhere. Sorry chummer. Art History is a good NWP though.


Up to Level 4 you go. Opening the door, you're hit with two strong spells, I mean, smells. The first is a rich, earthy, earthworms and forest-after-the-rain kind of smell. The second, which then becomes overwhelming, is the smell of sickness, of vomit. Ugh.

Everyone gimme a CON check to avoid nausea.

The Botanical Gardens is amazing. It's basically an indoor tropical rainforest... there are massive trees, covered with moss, mold, and ivy. A light haze hangs in the air, along with a feeling of humidity and heat. God, actually, it's pretty darn hot in here. Think about the bird house at the zoo, and you're not wrong.

But along with all the amazing foliage, including some birds, frogs, bugs, and lizards here and there, you see signs of horrible disease. Massive piles of vomit here and there on the stone path through the earth and woods. You wonder for a minute, taking in the weird dissonance, before you see... them.

Two massive Shambling Mounds, following a leprous once-human Gardener. The Gardener is bloated, green and rotting from disease. His overalls are covered with his own filth. He holds a massive, encrusted pair of garden shears. A gleam is in his eye when he spots you all.

Like I said, CON checks. You each have two rounds as the trio stumbles over two you, with clearly malicious intent.
Wow, 6th level fighter. That rocks.

I get a 3 for hp unfortunately. That's 4 more hp's with the +2 for special training. I've got 35 monkeys.

I don't think anyone took the +1 Kopesh. I'll take it. I see if I can get a +1 Hammer for it. -I need a magical blunt weapon.

My new NWP is going to be in Art History.

Let's check out those Botanical Gardens.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Geez. You get all in touch with your god for awhile, and the party starts freaking out. The accountant who is thinking about intentionally joining the undead built a back brace for the monk? We've got an Otyugh gardener pal? I just really don't know what's going on anymore.

So, I suppose I'm taking the +2 mace, since no one else claimed it. That'll give me the highest to-hit bonus in the party. Plus two! Plus two, baby!

If anyone wants a regular +1 mace, I've got a spare.

I vote the gardens. I ain't really had much book-learning, and I know that looking at the sun can hurt your eyes. Plus, we could see if we can get any cuttings for Otto. Hey there, Otto, how's it going? You like beer?
  King Tut
Ok, I'm just trying to determine if Tut would still be a PC if he put the ring on, if I could still control him and play him like normal.

I'll just keep the ring in a safe place for now, no pressing need to put it on.

Next, I'd like to try and attach the +1 buzzsaw to my gauntlet, like Ash in Evil Dead. For the IQ check I got an 11, which is equal to my IQ.

For the magic item, you referenced some cursed items, so I'll have to check with the party to see which one should be nuked.

Then I'd like to build some stuff for people in the village where we are, just as practice and to start building up some good faith.

Also, what do you mean I have to eat people? Like 1 person a day, a week, a month? what is the penalty if I do not?
  Leveling Etc
Tut, as for the ring, well if you're a ghoul, you have to eat people. You tell me if that'd deteriorate your mind.

I ain't you/I jus' dun know whatcha go'n do

You'd be undead, so susceptible to Turning by clerics, dmg from Holy Water, you'd have a paralyzation touch, so that jives with your Unarmed, but you'd freeze your bushi abilities. Also, you'd roll d8s for hp. You wouldn't be the first undead guy to hang with the party though. Cure spells hurt you, Cause spells heal you, and there's really no great way to resurrect you if you die though.

Okay, you build Marivhon a backbrace. Still gotta sacrifice a magic item. Mar, it's +1 to your CON only for determining hp, and won't work if you have above a 9 CN. However, wearing it will cut your fast monk movement by a bit, as running is a bit tougher in a backbrace. Looks like there's room for improving this backbrace.

Otto's down. As long as there's garbage to be eaten, he can help you out. He's got four arms and can see in the dark. 8 HD too, so he's no slouch. Gardening sounds pretty good to him. He gets going on some marigolds and ferns.

Moth, Schmek, okay, levels and gear taken. Don't forget to update your char sheets everyone.

Marivhon, okay, you're teaching the insane citizens some Zelba Yoga. Zelba thanks you for the offering and grants you Affinity with the Undead. You get +1 CHA with the Undead. See, she's not such a bad goddess after all guys.


Into the Botanical Gardens? Library? Or Solar Observatory?
Thanks for the reference Tut. well, by the time the crew gets back from LV, I will be out of touch for the move. Throw me in the Tart... or if some one wants to roll for me, you know my MO: Attack first, ask questions later... unless my attacks aren't doing any good... then I start pulling people out of harms way and bandaging.

I would like to borrow the Unholy Water Jug.
did everyone add the potions that we got from the citizens of greyskull....?
3d8+1 healing potions and a 3d8 +3 EACH
I am fine not taking anything right now... I hang out and do my Yoga....if Tut is wandering around I'll watch his back. Move silent and HIde missed and made.

I would also like to sneak off for a day or so. Move Silent and Hide made both.
I am going to have a little Zelba time just to keep me on her good side.
I would like to use the Jug of evil water to setup a nice little shrine to Zelba probably in the room the High Priest was hanging out in. I will cook the HP's bones using the unholy water jug as a base. I add some of the ghoul masters bits, some of my blood too what the hell, a little clay golem, some chef danza. I mix it up using the old monk femur ( have all the guys bones) I found when we ran into the Oracle of Gryss. Then I will use danzas teapot in a non recommended way to drink the boiling mess and dedicate the deaths of the people we have offed to Zelba and offer myself as a conduit to reclaim the shit....I then smoke some gregolas pipe blend. Heh.
Go back to town and teach the crazy people yoga to keep their minds from falling apart.
Leveled up in every class... unfortunatelyI don't have any of my 1e books with me... Anyway, I'll roll for hp.

I'll take the dancing slippers, if no one minds. I think they could help my fencing and barding skills.

I'll take Dancing, Songwriting, and Singing as my NWPs.
  King Tut (@ Schmektor)
I can direct you to the NWP / spec stuff.

NWPs/spec scroll down to "fighter."

I think we get 1 NWP / level in this campaign.

Special training = die roll +2. So d10 + 2 for us.

Attacks / round scroll down to fighter.
I would like the simple robe of Defense if no one else is jumping for it.

Rob - sorry... hook me up with info on weapon proficiency and specialization. I really haven't been taking care of that yet. At what point do I get a to hit or damage bonus with prof/spec? Sorry and Thanks.
  King Tut
I definitely want the Ghoulmaster ring and the book. Tut might have to become a Ghoulmaster. Can I get some appraisal's on the ring, not for sale value, but to determine if my mind would deteriorate if I used the ring? Would I still be King Tut? How would the character change (stats? Can I still wear armor, have spec UA, learn NWPs, etc.)?

I got a 3 and a 13 on my IQ checks (IQ of 11). The 3 easily makes it, the 13 misses by 2, by 1 if I get the +1 from the Specs. I think my other NWPs should give me a bonus too, like Armorer and Engineering (building supports) seem relevant. Also, maybe the tools in the Workshop give a bonus? Or maybe Otto, my new assistant, will give a bonus--shouldn't having an assistant grant at least a +1?

Re: Otto, I want him to stay on as my assistant permanently. I'd like to offer him all he can eat. And I want to set up a deal with the finest restaurants in the village/city that he will haul their garbage away (he's just going to eat it anyway), which should save their disposal costs. Let me know what Otto thinks, I'm assuming he'd like to gnosh high class garbage, maybe I'm wrong. Does he want to hang around and be pals? In his off-time, while I'm adventuring, he could start gardening or something (very relaxing).

For Scrounge I get a 63, which doesn't find anything, and my d6 search yields a 4.
  Marvin Mews Was Really An Amazing Dancing Cat
Marivhon, by my count, you're at 64,390 xp, and you need 98,000 to reach 7th level. 30,000 xp is probably 3 more castle levels, sorry to say. With 8 people, xp divides on down. For what it's worth, Dave FoO needs 40,000 xp more to level. Things'll start to pick up in a couple dungeon levels, when the stakes get even higher... and certainly beating the module, getting Vrill, redeeming your souls, and saving the world from the KoA would net a ton of xp. If that's the way things go, of course.

Marivhon, the alchemist here is clearly deranged. He's got some more Potions of Dwarf Control if you'd like to make a tea of those. Plus, you know, stuff like mercury, oregano, ethanol, sunflower seeds, gnome hats... shall I go on? Nothing too crazy. You want a crazy tea, you gotta add some crazy stuff. No other potions are left, alas.

The Accounting Secrets book tells you how to double your money. You get one shot, an initial investment between 100 and 50,000 gp, and a village. It also gives a +1 to Accounting checks.

The Impressive Slippers were once owned by a Lucky Cat who loved to dance, named Marvin Mews. They are now imbued with the cat's impressive dancing skills. If you have the Dancing NWP, you get +1 DX and +1 AC.

The Black Ring turns whoever wears it into a Ghoulmaster. Be careful.


Special training, Tut, is +2 hp/level, not +3. Please correct. You really can just move on in and set up shop, no one seems to care that this was once a magnificent castle. Tinkering is a fine NWP. Engineering, Math, all those are fine.

The people of the castle can give you a shield for no extra charge.

As for scrounging, gimme a roll. And anyone can search by rolling a d6 too. You don't necessarily find anything else of note, just as a first pass. Otto's cool. Just chillin'.

Finally, okay, you want to start putting those skills to work. A backbrace, huh? Gimme two IQ checks, and pawn a magic item for enough good metal, wood, and lathing tools. You have some cursed crap which you could trade in just fine.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
So I cast Aid on Brogg, and then a Cure, and then summon a badger, and then . .. .

Oh. No, wait. I just kinda sit back and watch, and drink some whiskey. Or something like that.

I wouldn't mind the +2 mace, but, you know. Maybe one of the front-line fighters should get it.

If there are girls there I want to do them!
  King Tut
1) We also need the following items ID'd: blackstone ring*, impressive slippers*, Accounting Secrets book*
All from the Ghoulmaster (gnoulmaster?). Let's decide who needs what.

2) I also want to buy the dungeon and turn it into my workshop...who do I talk to about this? I bring Otto some food and wine (of course, I ask what he likes best first).

3) I'd like to take the buzzsaw +1, and try and fit it onto a gauntlet, if no one objects. I've added it onto my character just to make sure I don't forget. I also took the Tinker Specs, please voice objections to either.

4) I also want to buy more potions, does anyone in town have any for sale?

5) I don't know what "special train" means. I rolled a 7 and an 8 for hp. I think we get +3 each level, for some reason, so I added that.

6) I'd like to buy a shield, so I'm AC 2. I can't attack with my offhand any way.

7) I want to thoroughly scrounge the areas, especially the workshop. I'll clean the mess that the golem left, and hang out with Otto, hopefully we'll be working together.

8) What NWP do I need to tinker and build stuff? Engineering, tinkering, etc. Should we just call it Tinker and make it 1 NWP?

9) On the subject, can I use the special high-quality clay to build a special backbrace to increase Marivhon's Con by 1? If it's so low, it seems like a simple exoskeleton would provide some improvement. I'm sure it would be a lot more difficult to raise someone's Con if they had 18.

Sorry for all the work DM!
so how much exp did we get?....I only need 47k to level. Ok I don't want any of the stuff, I can't use the robes. I just do a lot of Yoga exercises to keep my body in its incredible shape....con 4 baby. I will look around the places we've been and talk to the alchemist in town about ingredients that might be used with the tea kettle to brew something bitchin...like somthing that raises con.
I take the potions and put them in my potion sack.
  Level 3 COMPLETE
Well then there we go. Brogg, healed and hasted you pummel the clay golem into dust. Out of his head falls a little scroll and a tiny blue-silver key. The golem does some damage to you, but you'll regenerate it just fine, and then everyone probably wants to go downstairs and get that training started.

The key allows you to open up the doorway to the Botanical Gardens, level 4. You can also return to the Library or head up to the Solarium via the dumbwaiter if you prefer.

The scroll contains a drawing of a rose with the word "ORBACH" written in fancy script. Hmm.

Anyway, you head downstairs to mini-Greyhelm, rest up, and train. Here's the training to be done:
Brogg, 6th level fighter
Moth, 3rd level fighter, 3rd level magic-user, and 4th level thief
Renwick, 6th level magic-user
Schmektor, 5th level fighter
Tut, 4th and 5th level bushi

Go ahead and special train for free. The alchemists will give you EACH 3 Potions of Healing (1d8+2) and one Potion of Extra-Healing (3d8+3), and that expires all their ingredients and all of your credit in their town.

Here's what some magic items do:
The Golden Jug has been defiled in the High Priest's madness, it's cursed to spew unholy water.
The Silver Spectacles are Tinker's Specs and give +1 to Tinker type skills.
The Simple Robe is a Robe of Defense AC:7.
The Golden Mace is a +2 Mace, pretty badass.
The colored incense and colored potions seem to work in conjunction to open something, but you're not sure what just exactly...
Silver-blue key radiates magic but is also un-identifiable.

Plus there's a +1 Buzzsaw and a +1 Khopesh sword.
  King Tut
Well ok then.

I'll charge back into battle. BR: 9, hits AC 6. If it's a hit, 5 pts of dmg.

Nice stream of consciousness posting there Brogg.
hey Brogg that potion of speed acts like a haste so you get more attacks.....
you should probably take them.....
Thanks Marivhon!!! I chug the Potion of Speed.

Then I attack BR:17 that's a hit for sure for 7 or 10 points depending on the Strength spell that Renwick cast Hey Renwick do you have another?! Hey pal I would really appreciate it geez Grisbane sure doesn't like golems because I keep hitting I gained another hit point this round so I should be at 22 now come to think of it I guess since everyone is standing around I will attack again BR:7 hmm that will only hit AC:8 or 7 depending on that Strength spell duration damn I wish someone would tell me if I am still strong wait I have it right here in my Player's Handbook yeah that's 6 turns per level so I guess I am still strong and Clay Golems are only AC:7 anyway I checked my Monster Manual so I hit for 11 points that's 21 points of damage this round.

I guess I might as well go for next round too don't forget to add my extra hit point that is 23 now unless that golem hits me my rolls are BRs:8,5 that 8 hits for 10 more points of damage hey I bet I need a heal here!

Just to make things move along I will do my third round of actions too yeah no problem I don't mind it seems like I have extra time on my hands now anyway BRs:13,8 that's two more hits for 10 and 14 points so 24 more points total for my third round assuming I am still alive.

Hey Moth since I have some time I was thinking about telling you about the Church of Grisbane and their views on Chimeras and half-fire elementals or whatever you were talking about you see it all goes back to a famous battle where a half-gnome hero rode a centaur into battle and the gnome was made a Grisbanic saint but the centaur his name was Turf he wasn't made a saint and that caused a split in the Church and since then some Grisbanics have fought to include chimeras in the Church and some have fought to keep them out you know that centaurs are chimeras right It's because a guy can have sex with a horse but it's not going to make a centaur if you know what I mean anyway the whole thing is kind of personal with me because the Elder(s) Grettin and Shettin sort of made me a Contrarian or something and I am leading the fight to keep Chimeras out of the Church and I have a Wand of Deconstruction that can take Chimeras right apart that kicks ass but I don't really know how I feel about the whole thing and besides there is this other guy out there who is like my anti-Contrarian and he is a cheesy Half-Elf-Troll archer named Leuko who is totally going to show up out of the blue and kick my ass someday I know it even though I keep oil and some flaming sword ointment on me at all times hold on this Golem is crazy.
I give Brogg a healing potion heaing him for 21. I also hand off a potion of speed to the guy....
I move silent and hide in shadows again. made and made....
  Whatcha Gon' Do When Golems Comes For You
Schmektor, okay, you've got some rope. Sounds like Moth has some too.

Whatcha go'n do?

Tut, sorry. This golem doesn't seem to have his signature just sitting out so anyone can destroy him. If it were that easy, wouldn't the High Priest have destroyed his mad golem himself? No, this golem has HP that need to be removed in the old school fashion, unless you guys are clever enough to think up some alt strategy.

Moth, from your book learnin' you don't seem to know what sorts of demons inhabit golems, but from your perception of the combat, apparently very ANGRY ones do.

The round Brogg comes to 0 hp, the golem smashes him again for 8, up to -7 Brogg! Lookin' good.
Friggin good idea Tut. More of those strength spells could come in handy. If we can't lure him back towards the kiln, perhaps we could muscle him... but that would require some SERIOUS muscle and probably hurt a lot as he pummels us at point blank range.

Has anyone grabbed Brogg? If not, I pull him out of harms way. If I read correctly, he is regenerating... but just in case the giant gets in a stomping mode, I want him to be clear of the ruckus.
Does knowledge (demonology) give me any info on what sort of spirits animate golems? IQ check BR 20. Guess not.

I get some rope. I figure that might come in handy.
  King Tut
Ok, IQ check: BR: 2. Tut's not too smart, but a 2 should probably make it.

I'll do the full on scrounge another time, what's up with this kiln? What about it screams "immediate golem destruction?" Does it have a temperature dial? Maybe we need to lure the golem back here and lock him up and crank the heat way up so he breaks.

I'm specifically looking for a sheet of paper with the golem's name on it. My best plan right now is to find some sort of a lure, such as the paper, get golem's attention, hide it in the kiln, wait till he lumbers in, then lock him up and crank the heat.

Anyone have any thoughts?
I have some rope... anyone want to grab one end and attempt the Empire Strikes Back "tie up the legs on the Imperial Walker" trick? Maybe if we get this guy on the ground we could gain some kind of advantage...

just an idea.
That's a nice, well-referenced post Tut. Certainly not as cryptic as the operetta piece from the future.

First, you search the High Priest. Hmm, he has a Golden Jug, some nice Silver Spectacles, a Simple Robe, two pieces of Incense (one Black, one White), and three Potions (one Red, one Yellow, one Blue). Nothing that instantly screams golem destruction. You do find some remnants of a prayer book to Isaac of the Jug, but they've been covered with, on an IQ check, what seems to be simple child's drawings of a berserk golem killing lots of people and smashing stuff with big words like O NO or HELPPP!!! written here and there. There are some other papers, but they've been shredded, scrawled upon, and stained.

Okay, you dash down the hall past Brogg's regenerating, stomped body. You head... into a massive set of workrooms.

Looks like the golem went berserk out here... it's sort of a folk art apocalypse. Carpentry and pottery lies broken and destroyed all over the place. Like Home Depot, after The Bomb. The only thing that seems to have resisted the golem's smash is a massive kiln in the back...

There's all sorts of miscellanious stuff in various states of entropy. If you want rope, lumber, bits of brick... help ya'self. Roll Scrounge if you want, but just know that we're in combat time here, so a leisurely scrounge may not be exactly what's best right now.

Oh, and gimme an IQ check at half to recall how 'your people' built the golem.
  King Tut
Ok, time for a plan. Clay Golems sound exactly like what my ancient egyptian people used to build. Lore says that golems usually have their name written on their forehead, and if you erase the first letter they deactivate. They usually have 50-90 hp.

Further, they are magic resistant:

A clay golem is immune to any spell or spell-like ability that allows spell resistance. In addition, certain spells and effects function differently against the creature, as noted below.

A move earth spell drives the golem back 120 feet and deals 3d12 points of damage to it.

A disintegrate spell slows the golem (as the slow spell) for 1d6 rounds and deals 1d12 points of damage.

An earthquake spell cast directly at a clay golem stops it from moving on its next turn and deals 5d10 points of damage. The golem gets no saving throw against any of these effects.

Any magical attack against a clay golem that deals acid damage heals 1 point of damage for every 3 points of damage it would otherwise deal. If the amount of healing would cause the golem to exceed its full normal hit points, it gains any excess as temporary hit points. For example, a clay golem hit by the breath weapon of a black dragon heals 7 points of damage if the attack would have dealt 22 points of damage. A clay golem golem gets no saving throw against magical attacks that deal acid damage.


So, we need some kind of mass destruction yet again. Or a way to trap it in an area. Rob can I run past the Clay Golem to the room he came from, without getting hit? Maybe there's a clue in his old area. Or maybe get a barrel of oil from the Kitchen to roll at this guy?

I'd also like to try and recall what methods my people used to defeat golems that went on a rampage...I'm sure many were used to build the pyramids, and the spaceships, and I bet many went berzerk. So what did my peeps do?

Maybe we can set up an avalanche or something for it to walk into.

Rob I search the HP, does he have a piece of paper with the golem's name written on it? Or can I see the golem's name written on its forehead?
  Golem Carnage!
Golem smacked. Nice work Brogg...

But then the golem smacks you back. For 9, putting you at -1, no... 0 hp.

It's looking rough.


Ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? If you guys can finish this tonight, that'd be great, people can train, relax, have a cup of coffee and such.
Dudes, cures! I need cures! Dump Potions down my throat!!!

I smack the Hydrous Silicate once again, BR:20! No, shit. I am telling you, this is eerie. Grisbane hates mother-fucking automatons. He is fucking sick of their life-mocking motility. -This I now know to be true.

Anyway, that's 18 or 24 points of damage, depending on how long Renwick's Strength lasts for.

King Tut, you're the man with the plans, can we outsmart this guy or something?!

Bracing for impact...
  Into Golem Round 4
Yeh, this one's a stumper. Figured you guys were pretty sick of straight up combat. Also, thought it'd be funny to throw something overpowered at you again. So here we go.

Schmektor and Tut, retreated.

Renwick, ting ting, your magic missile bounces right off. I'm sure Dave FoO appreciates being much stronger. He has a dream that he's performing feats of strength at the carnival sideshow while the rest of you guys are running and screaming and fighting in the halls.

Marivhon, right, you can hit +1 but not +2. So solly.

Brogg, I guess it's come to you. Actually, Bartholomew's mace hits the golem and does some damage. You'd better keep the pressure on though, because just like you, this golem starts regenerating! Brogg, you take 11, down to 7 and back up to 8 hp. Swing and a miss round 3, alas.

Go for it guys.
Uh... so... um... (whistling) I jump out of melee range and do my best to figure out what the hell I can do to contribute.
Damn, I hope Bart's Mace is +2 or better.

Boys, I think I need you guys just to pump me up. -Assuming Bart's mace can hit.

Ok, round 3 I can attack. I should then be at 18. Don't forget I regenerate 1hp/round!

Golden Mace on the Clay Golem, BR:12. That hits AC:3. (Assuming Bart's Mace is +2, which cancels out my -2 from non-proficiency). 9 points of damage.

Renwick, how long does your Strength spell last? If I still have it, that hit AC:1 for 12 points, I think.

BTW, Marivhon, although it took me several failures to understand, I have come to terms with the limits of my Wand of Deconstruction. -It seems it only works on Chimeras.
I cast stregth on Dave for two extra pts (round 5).

I magic missile the golom on round six or seven, whenever he shows himself.

Br 9+3=11.
ok first I attack because frankly right now Marivhon doesn't think there's much he can't hit. BR 15 should be a good solid hit with the halberd. No effect eh?
Next round is 2 attacks which both hit ac 3 or better. Lets say at this point I get the clue that I can't hurt this guy. At the the end of the round I yell...
"we need to get the fuck out of here....wait..hey Brogg don't you have a wand?"

round 3 I will back off and move silent and hide in shadows...made and made.

hrm let's see how this goes I have a feeling it won't be good as we have no plus 2 weapons in the party that I know of.
  King Tut
That truly is one of the great poems of all time, and certainly, I feel confident in saying, the greatest poem regarding a clay golem, nay, any automaton, of all time.

Since Tut isn't exactly battle ready, he's going to try and find something useful to do. I don't know what exactly just yet, but I'll post when I do.
  Golem Carnage Round 1
The Clay Golem needs blunt weapons which are +2 or better to hit.

So sorry Schmektor, you strike the golem in the chest, but do no damage.

For the first full round, the clay golem rips dead Bartholomew in half. This is after Bart hands you his golden mace, Brogg.

Prepare for carnage.
I sheath the Cleaver and resort to my original weapons: THE OAK TABLE LEGS OF FURY.

Round 1: BR 19 does 4 points
Round 2: BR 17 does 3 points

I am so dead...
Mother of Grisbane, Lleudenski sure deserve's that promotion! And, I might say, that poem yet to be written was quite informative.

That really hurt. I do this, I slam my Po. of Regeneration, giving me 1 Hit Point per round for the next 48 rounds, (I am now at 8) and drop back.

At the same time, I use my Belt of Skeleton Control to Animate Dead Bartholomew. He gives me his old weapon. Hopefully it's blunt and magical. Then Bart is going to get all up in the Clay Golem's face.

For his part, BR:18, likely a hit for 3.

I then drop further back Cure Light myself for 8. -That's probably 2 rounds of activity.
  Sung To The Tune Of...
Forty years hence, Charles Lleudenski will receive a promotion to Assoc. Libr. after writing one of the greatest odes ever composed to a clay golem. I post for your enjoyment his verses below.


He is the very model of a golem hydrous silicate
Made from dirt and soiled earth and other stuff particulate
A man of clay of whom you’d say his manner is impeccable
Fif-ty h-p (and that’s plen-ty) and armour class delectable
Two-d-eight per each attack, is certainly respectable
(Although you know his choice of foe is often, mm, contextual)
Raised by rabbis, baked with love, and from the kiln umbilicate
He is the very model of a golem hydrous silicate.

You’ll find the Monster Manual has descriptions complimentaries
“Golem, Clay” (as it will say, if you were reading incidentallies)
A friend to all, bricks large and small, he’s related to them chemicallies
An Aramaic Hecatoncheires, a handsome Hebrew Heracles!

Two arms and legs, a head (no face) atop a neck peduncular
Bred from finest clays and jams collected deep spelunkular
No jewelry to be found within, or gemstones quite carbuncular
He’s still as stones, no sounds or tones, or prophecies or-uncular
The strong and silent type it takes to treat a lad avuncular
He is the very model of golemnis crypto-homunkular!

Immunity to weapons edged from bastard sword to bitches’ dirk
And magic users must beware because most magic just doesn’t work
From duties large to duties small this deutiful friend will never shirk
(Although he has a tendency to sometimes, mm, just go berserk)

Oxide of aluminum and dihydrogen monoxygen
Index of plasticity is an impressive one-hundred-ten
Illite, smectite, bits of sticks, and kaolinite-serpentimen
A man of clay, hurrah, hurray! Of magic and legerdemain.
The ritual is difficult, nonignominious and intricate
He is the very model of a golem hydrous silicate.

Unver-sed in T.S. Eliot’s Felicius an-gelicate
Unlearned in laryngology and lepidoptera and l’etiquette.
But never will you catch this chap in flagrante delicate
He is the very model of a golem hydrous silicate!
  The Combat Is Over... But It's Only Just Begun!
Okay, well with that, the Spear and Wood-2 are defeated.

But the combat HAS ONLY BEGUN.

Because when Brogg charges out into the hall and splinters Wood-2-D-2... that's when he sees the true enemy, the Big Boss of this level.

A berserk Clay Golem.

Brogg, it charges you and smacks you good for 15! You're down to 7 hp against His Clay Majesty.

Be careful guys, a clay golem is a real threat to many of you. Beat this and there's some levels to be had.
round 7 hrm hit the spear for 5
round 8 WTF round 8 I kick the corpse of the high priest.
I kind of feel weird hitting a spear.

I am at round 6. Thus, I am all after Wood-2D2. Let's say round six is me catching up to him, and round seven is, BR:6. AC:3, a hit for 14 points.

Round 8, BRs:6,16. Two hits for 13 and 15 points.

I know Grisbane hates automatons.

Moth, I recall you asking about Grisbane, and his inclusiveness. Well, I guess that depends on who you ask. Ill give you my take on it after this combat.
  Automaton Combat, Still Round 7
Tut, the Spear hits because it's a magical god spear from Ares. It's a 4th level spell, it basically automatically does damage unless I roll a 1 or a 20.

Dave FoO, okay, cures shot off. Let's just say, since he hasn't buzzed in in a couple, that Wood-2 was attacking Moth all this time. Moth, you're up to 7 hp now. Tut, you're at 1 hp but conscious.

DFoO shoots a bobcat off to go chase down Wood-2. Wood-2 ain't exactly the fastest golem in the drawer, so the bobcat catches up and gets off some attacks. But that's out of the room and down the hall. Dave FoO, no, you really have no idea what becomes of your critters.


Dave FoO, Texas sends you a telegram telling you that, well, I'll just let Texas speak for itself.

The real man knows when to hold them but also when to fold them STOP
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I send Renwick a card. One of those "thinking of you, friend" things with the flowers and the girly sentiments. And then I soak it in liquor and set it on fire, and do some shots.

No no, I've got a bunch of rounds of stuff. First off, I cast CLW on Moth. BR 5 so Moth's at 7.

Then I smack the golem, but it's moot 'cuz Brogg puts him down.

Then I CLW Tut for (BR4) 5 points, putting Tut at one lone monkey.

I drag Tut away from the fray.

Oh wait - before this, when the wood golem is running away, I bring in a bobcat to chase after Wood-2-D-2, or whatever the head-gunner robot is. Do I know when the critters die if they disappear before the duration ends?

THEN I heal Tut and drag him away.

Anyone else wounded bad? Let me know - I've got a few more curings up in this bitch. Us Fists of Odin roll deep, yo.

Hey - and speaking of which, I'm not quite the clobbering badger-summoning motherfucker I used to be. I'm doing about the same amount of damage as I've always done in a round, while the fighters and monk are starting to rock out. I mean, I'm still in it, to soak and clobber, but it seems like I'm changing roles in the party. Sigh. Being the High Priest of Odin is a heavy burden, and the responsibility weighs heavily on my shoulders.

Yup. And then I drink three strong men under the table and jack the fourth in the face. That's how I hold 'em - what you got, Texas?
  King Tut
I glare at the spear accusingly.

How come everyone hits me with no problem? I'm AC 3!
  Round 7
Tut and Marivhon, you guys damage the spear some. It's looking pretty beat up. But Tut? BOOYA. The spear sticks you again for 7, dropping you to -4 and counting!

Schmektor, your opponent, Wood-2-D-2 fled the scene. So your rolls were applied to SHIN5, whom you get one hit on.

SHIN5 misses you Renwick. And not in the Hallmark Card way.
I continue to hack away at my opponent.

Round 5: BR 4 (misses, but theoretically hits AC 13)
Round 6: BR 16 (hits AC 1) for for 6 (5 +1)
Round 7: BR 10 (hits AC (hits AC 7) if that hits for 7 (6 +1)

Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

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