Dave, fist of Odin
Aww crap - Mark, are you LG? Geez. I suppose I'll just be CN or CG then. But I'm claiming that flask of everfull ale, and taking 'heavy drinking' as my non-weapon proficiency. Plus a potion of healing, potion of polymorph self, random potion (I roll a ... 90). Whee! For hit points, I get a ... 7, +1 for my CN bonus so 8 more hp or 22 total. Did we get some cash? I want to buy a big shield, and perhaps a magic mace if we've got the loot.
I'm secretly upset about freeing the kobold slave. What if we sent him to work as a 'farmhand' or something on our farm?
I'd like to go check out that cemetery before following Vrill or whatever else we're doing - are you with me?
Are you with me?
Brogg thanks Grisbane for this good fortune:
First off, top notch, Rob. I laughed out loud more than once.
I thank Grisbane for our good fortune, and for the opportunity to further work His will upon this land.
Before indulging myself in the spoils and spirits of victory however, I have one debt to pay. I take my 100gp immediately down to the butcher's shop and ask him for all the fresh dog meat that one man can carry. No, I slap down my hand, grin widely and demand enough that one man and one war horse can carry.
Having obtained the warm canine flesh, I trot my horse quickly to the Grito jail and use my hero's status to secure a meeting with one of their rodent residents. When I meet my old cell mate, I lay down the meat, cast Speak with Animals, and say these words: "My dear friend, you have aided one of Grisbane's servants at a most dire hour at great risk to yourself. For this, I give you the thanks of Grisbane, God of half-breeds. Thus, just as Flarck, the ancient Dwarf-Gnome priest of Grisbane awarded the Olgech saytr brothers of Mt. Ghuldos with three-score sheep after the battle of Dooglan Hill, I have met your deed with reward surpassing your desires. Eat merrily my friend! And, although I know of your murine prejudice, have you ever the fancy to lay with a mouse, may your half-breed offspring be blessed with the light of Grisbane!" I turn and leave.
I will spend the rest of my gp's on a shirt.
Now, I will special train. For my hit points, I roll a 6. Good! That is 3 more hp, for a total of 14! I will take a nonweapon proficiency. But, I have yet to decide what to take. How many should I have at this point?
I will take the +1 shield as Dave has platemail, and I have no armor. I suggest that we sell the horse and free the slave. We need no slave, slavery is wrong, and Mike can carry our gear. Perhaps we should buy Mike some armor.
How much cash can we get for the horse? Let's buy armor with it for Mike and I.
I roll a 52 for my potion and pocket it. Ed can carry the invisibility potion, and Dave the potion of polymorph self. Dave and I will take 1 healing potion and Ed should get two. Update those sheets, boys. I put the Gem in Mike's pocket.
Crap, we have a farm?! I suggest that we hold on to that one, as the real estate market is supposed to really heat up this year.
For now, that's what I do. I will wait until everyone has caught up before suggesting our next course of action. Boys?
The Conclusion of "B3: The Secret of Grito" Part I
We now bring this chapter to a close. This is long...
Cinder, you backstab the hell out of the guard and he drops with a poisoned bolt in the back.
Dave, you swing on the other guard, hitting him in the cheek for 6 hp, shattering his cheekbone and collapsing his skull. That guy will need some serious plastic surgery to ever have a shred of normal life back. In fact, in the weeks to come, he'll lose his job as a guard because the townsfolk look at his deformed face in horror. They'll let him go at the station with a polite party, taking away his broadsword and his badge. Downtrodden, he'll make his way to Durth Mining City and beg for alms and apples, until winter comes and he almost freezes to death in a cold dark alley. But then a priest of "Isaac of the Jug" God of Pity takes him in, helps him recover some health, and by spring he's the new main temple guard. He even foils an attempt by the Blackwall Thiefs to steal Isaac's jug from the temple, which gets him lots of fame and even some pity trim. Two years from now, he pens "Guarding the Jug: A Five Step Plan Back On Track", makes 1000 gp, and buys a little ranch in the Durth mountains. With his new-found wealth he buys three cattle, but then a few years later, drinks some bad milk, gets the meningitis, and drowns in a well. So remind me that in two years, you'll get 20 xp for setting in motion a series of events that kill this guard.
Backing up a little, right as you swing, just riiight as you're connecting with the guard's cheekbone, Master Vrill enters! You're both doing bad... there's like a Clint Eastwood moment where you stare at him all intense, and he stares back, he opens his dry, parched mouth and raises a hand... and runs like hell. Dave, you stop and bandage Brogg as you said, and Cinder books after Vrill, up and up some stairs to the roof! You've got your bloody bolt and your leather pants half on; you're moving a little slow because the leather pants are kind of around your ankles by this point. Vrill says:
"You're a fucking moron, you know that? I'm so goddamn pissed at you, ASS. 'Oh yeah, we're the big heroes, we saved the day.' Well fuck you. You can't even get your pants on. Hasta la vista HERO." He spits that last word. You're all like slowly advancing on him on the roof of the Potion Guild high up, there's a chill wind in the air, one step closer, like a cat... a crazy bobcat. Vrill takes a couple steps back, to the very edge... He looks over his shoulder... you're about to make your move, when he leaps off the edge!
You rush over to the edge, and see that Vrill has landed in a cart that's taking off through town. He flips you off- both hands- and then gives you a Magic Missile goodbye... you take (1d4+1, 3 hp plus 1d4+1, 4 hp) 7 hp and all goes black, just as Dave makes it up there too.
Dave, the rest of it passes pretty quick, almost in a blur. You bandage Cinder, and get him back downstairs with Brogg. You're pretty quickly surrounded by like way too many serious guards... including one wearing familiar looking plate mail! Pretty soon Mayor Broderick the mayor shows up, demanding an explanation: "I demand an explanation! What the Asmodeus King of the Ninth Layer of Hell is going on here?" You're rounded up and led into what must be Vrill's office...
The office is a mess, it looks like Vrill was trying to get out of here pretty quickly. Dave, you see on the desk a potion bottle labeled "Antidote"; thinking fast, you grab it and throw it down Cinder's throat! Uh, the potion liquid stuff inside, not the whole bottle. The mayor stammers "What the?... What do you think you're doing SIR." You try to explain about the owlbears and the kobolds and the poison, but the mayor's not really paying much attention? He skeptically raises one eyebrow and looks at you like you're telling him about the great Bigfoot footage you captured until Bigfoot charged you and knocked your Super 8 into the river.
In your haste to give Cinder the "antidote"- which, incidentally, *didn't* seem to help- you knocked some papers off the desk. One of these reads "From the Desk of Master Julian Fryes" with "Master Fryes" crossed off and "Master Gregory Vrill" written in, and then in bold handwriting "Project: Grito". You quickly scan the text and know you've been vindicated.
Right as the mayor is proclaiming that the three of you are to be drawn and quartered that afternoon, you shove the papers into his hands. He reads them, skeptically at first. Then re-reads them. Then again, growing redder in the face. "Aah.... AAHH.... What madness has come over this town!?" He grabs another "Antidote" vial conveniently left right there and slams it down. He knocks away the broadswords surrounding you (violently gashing his left hand in the process) and gives you a big manly hug. "Friend! We have mistreated you and your brave companions! Guards! Release these HEROES OF GRITO! AAH MY HAND!"
The Conclusion of "B3: The Secret of Grito" Part II
Basically, Cinder and Brogg are healed a bit thanks to some Potion Guild healing potions. The gnome Apprentice Gerald is not dead despite his horrible amputation, and he's brought around too. The whole Guild is placed under house arrest, but it comes out that Vrill was working alone, with the two other Apprentices (the human's dead) and maybe, the papers indicate, some help in Greyhelm... Vrill in his haste left some incriminating paperwork, showing a conspiracy to create an owlbear legion 'tested' on Grito! And that the town well was regularly dosed with Potions of Friends. That "Antidote" is the antidote to the Potion Master's Friendship Potion! The gnome reveals as much, and reveals what antidote to use to the French poison. He's then hauled off to jail, but first stripped of possessions.
In celebration and thanks for rescuing the town from Vrill's machinations, the mayor throws a nice party and gives you some stuff. First he gives you all your stuff back. (Unfortunately, Mark, the stuff you sold is NOT there! You get back all your potions and griffon piss.) Next he gives you some potions ("if you'll trust to drink them, har har!" he says, clearly drunk on scotch and out of his mind on snuff):
4 Healing Potions
Potion of Polymorph Self
Potion of Invisibility
plus each of you can roll randomly one time (d%).
Then he insists you guys special train in his town for free. So you get a fat 1000 xp for
saving Grito, meaning that Dave you can make 3rd level Cleric, Ed and Zombie Mike can make 3rd level Thieves, and Brogg you get 2nd level Fighter (remember to roll d10 and divide by 2 round down). For special training to 3rd level you get a choice, +2 hp or a bonus non-weapon proficiency.
And yes, what of Zombie Mike? He wasn't there in the Potion Guild halls when the mayor and the guards paraded you out and down to the Griffon's Claw. Later that night, you guys grow suspicious and head back over to the Potion Guild, where out in the back in the dumpster you find Mike's body. You grab him, slap him the next day with a couple Cause Light Wounds, good to go.
But that's not all the mayor gives you! He generously gives each of you 100 gp, and each of you can pick one item off the list of Grito town treasures (no replacement, i.e. items are unique):
Big gem (200 gp value)
Quiver of 10 +1 Arrows
Farmhouse and small tract of land
Rory's Flask of Everfull Ale
Finally, he insists that you keep some items confiscated from the Potion Guild. He gives you that gnome's cloak, which the Guild IDs as being a Cloak of the Unseen Servant. It's +1 Protection because the unseen servant has a buckler and tries to help get you out of jams. Lastly, he gives you Vrill's papers, which contain a revealing document- that one that you initially showed to the mayor to vindicate your story! Here it is:From the Desk of Master (scribbled out) Gregory VrillMaster of the Grito Potion GuildThe Potion Guild: Potions Your Way.PROJECT: GRITOWe must stop them! Only Master Parsifal understands the threat as I do. He has provided me with full assurance that work here can proceed unhindered. I shalt not want for funds. Who knows what horrors the Knights of Armek will rain (crossed out, 'reign', crossed out, 'bring') will bring?April 3, 1024Their armor is said to be inpenetrable! The texts and tests are clear- "+1 or better magic weapons to hit are required." But magic weapons are too hard to make! I have an idea though that Master P. called genius. Fight magic with magic! Werewolves! Werewolves can hit magic creatures and rend through the magic armor of the Knights! I shall research turning the townsfolk here- all of them- into werewolves so as to be ready to defend against the Knights. First I'll need to gain the complete confidence of the mayor, Mayor Broderick... my Potions of Friends shall come in handy! Apprentice Gerald shall be in charge of dosing the well so that our efforts here can proceed smoothly.July 1, 1024Hmm, okay, maybe the werewolf idea isn't so good. Master P can so easily cut to the heart of the matter with his penetrating mind! It would be problematic to ensure that the Knights only attacked on the night of the full moon. Then he looked at me and said "All genius must struggle." It's so true.September 2, 1024.I've been thinking. My initial idea, about needing tough monsters to fight I think is still pretty good. It struck me yesterday in my walk to the woods to see my friends the kobolds. I saw an owl in a tree. Then, not 10 minutes later, I saw a bear in the river. Owls... and bears...There is much to be done.May 1, 1025.I hate adventurers. All our work to prepare the owlbears, to train them and test them- not to mention getting the ill-prepared people of Grito ready for combat- this subtlety is lost in the moronic mind of the would-be hero. I'm sure they felt pretty good about butchering some peaceful kobolds. Way to go. Our work here is in jeapordy (sp? that spelling looks wrong somehow?) and we must act quickly. Of course, there's always "Plan B". As Master Parsifal says, "always have a plan B, Greg".Plan B: Mount Storm. Near Greyhelm, the ancient weather station of the ancients. We shall work there... as their armor is metal, it won't work in the rain! Rust shall save the day.But first, to 'dispatch' some 'unexpected guests' with 'prejudice'. 'Extreme prejudice'!
The Conclusion of "B3: The Secret of Grito" Part III
Last part, I promise.
So the mayor doesn't really understand what all that means, other than that he and the rest of Grito was duped. Knights of Armek? Mount Storm? Never heard of that stuff. Turning townsfolk into werewolves, yeah, bad, so Vrill's clearly out of his mind. "Between you and me, I think all those Potion Guild guys are a little cracked
, yes? A little funny
, no?" Then he does like a "nudge nudge wink wink" thing that you're not sure how to interpret. Anyway, he's heard of this "Master Parsifal"- supposedly the Master Guildmaster of the Potion Guild of Greyhelm! If he's involved, says the mayor, then something strange is certainly afoot!
After you guys finish training the mayor has some wanted posters made up with Vrill's face on them. "Reward: 2000 gp, 1000 xp" it says, not a bad deal for a guy who only gets two magic missiles per pop.
"If you're up to the challenge, good master adventurers, good friends of Grito... you might consider looking more into this matter. In any case, Vrill has much to answer for, be he mad or just really stupid. Go! Fight the good fight!" etc he rambles on with some more platitudes before clapping you on the backs and wishing you well and basically telling you in as friendly as a possible way to get the hell out of Grito.
This concludes "B3: The Secret of Grito"! Wrap up, divvy up loot, train as you will. Stay tuned for "B4: Return to Greyhelm".
I have a 4 for next initiative:
I sneer at the wounded guard and swing with my bolt, -a 15! That hits if a hand held bolt is close enough to a dagger...Rob?
As I stick the bolt in him I hiss "Blackwall Thiefs 4evr!"
That's 1x2= 2 damage. Feel that.
BTW Rob, that picture of the bobcat may be one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time. I don't know why but I lose it every time I see it.
Still clobbering the guards, here.
Hey - are there any other exits from here, besides the one past Master Vrill?
A Short Dumb Round
Not "mummies" dumb, but almost.
Ed, swing and a miss.
Dave, swing and a hit, 3 hp on the wounded guard. He's still up and looking bad.
Ed, guard # 1 missed. Dave, guard #2 hit. 4 hp, down to 4.
Cinder: -1 CN again. Brogg, down to -2 hp and dropping.
You think you hear Master Vrill's voice down the hall: "Apprentice Gerald, why is there a zombie in the hallway?"
I have one bolt left. Probably better to use it as a dagger then fire it and be weaponless...
I have at the gaurd with my bolt. The more wounded one first. My AC is 9 with my sort of armor, -1 for Dex remember Rob.
I roll a 1 for initiative and a 3 to hit. I guess that's what happens when you wade into combat with a suit of leather half on.
This is some bad bad shit
So, just to recap - there are some guards, that we can probably take down.
And on that tip - I want to grab something heavy - a broadsword? a chamberpot? a brick? I don't particularly care - and in my rage and fury smash the guard that's wounded bad, and then the guard that's not wounded so much.
But then - Brogg's down. Zombie Mike is elsewhere, and probably down. Cinder's poisoned, and going down. I'm fine-ish, but geez! We've got to get out of here! And I've got pants and no spells...
After the guards go down I'll bandage Brogg. Let me know what happens. I miss my plate mail.
That Gnome Got a Bum Deal
As you'll see below gentle readers. You guys think anyone else has ever read our blog thing?
Anyway, good work guys. This combat's going a little better than last time. I guess you figured out their strategy pretty good.
Johannan 3 attacks twice, pawing at the human caster. One, two hits! He's pawed for 1+2 = 3 hp... but loses his spell. The guy drinks a potion and his bobcat wounds magically disappear...
Dave you cast Cure Light Wounds on Brogg for 7. Plus 0 for 1st edition rules equals 7 hp back to you Brogg. Dave, as far as weapons go, the guard has some boots, and there's a chamberpot and a tooth in your cell. Nothing that really screams 'Odin' I guess. And it's probably a good thing, because the last time something screamed 'Odin', he made you destroy a magic statue.
Brogg, the Wilford Brimley-lookin' guy is Mayor Broderick, the mayor of Grito, and he's not in your field of view. You swing at the gnome for 6 hp. He doesn't lose his spell, but he loses his arm at the elbow and drops to the ground screaming "Oh god no! No please! Oh god oh my god my arm!" so it amounts to the same thing, practically speaking. It's kind of weird though, you feel like you had to swing against an invisible shield or something...
Cinder, you shoot the other Potion Guild apprentice with the crossbow (the one the bobcat went nuts on). 6 hp and he's down with a bolt in his left eye. He yells "Augh!" and clutches the bolt but that's probably exactly the wrong thing to do when you've been shot in the eye. You probably just want to sit and wait calmly for the medics I suppose. Not an option here.
With both mages down, the threat of Sleep is over... but the threat of dos long swords has just begun. Brogg, there's a hit for... maximum. 8+1 = 9 hp, and you're down at -1 and droppping. The other guard is stunned this round but he recovers when he sees the carnage of blood around him, and steadies his blade.
Finally, the bobcat comes up again in rotation and... double damages with a side order of whiff. 3x2 = 6 points of damage, the bobcat breaks one of the guard's ribs with a well-placed paw. The 'cat then looks around in anger and flies back up to the sky from whence it came.
Cinder and Dave- two guards, one heavily wounded, one lightly beaned. Better make it work...
Descent into Depths!
I'm aiming at the mage that cast sleep last time. I suggest we all go for him...
I roll a 6 for initiative, and a 19 to hit (+1 for dex = 20). I rolled a 3 for damage x2 = 6.
Take that bitch!
Oh - for my cure on Brogg, I rolled a '7'. Is that a d8 plus level, or plus one, or just straight?
I trust my angry bobcat. I trust his judgement. He truly is a worldly manifestation of my faith - a crazy-mad feline that falls from the sky and fucks shit up. I love my job.
Brogg tells Cinder that it is 'guard', not gaurd'.
Although Grisbane is my light, the sight of that bobcat has done much to increase my respect for the mighty Odin.
Dave, that cure will also increase my respect for the mighty Odin.
Ok, I recall someone looking like Wilford Brimley. If he is one of these two humans, I gut him with my new broadsword. If Mr. Brimley is not present, I will gouge the gnome. Blogroll: 12. Taste the wrath of Grisbane, you griffon piss pushing con men! (Try to say that 3 times, quickly.)
Hunh - I have another spell? A cure on me, a cure on Cinder - yeah, okay. I drop a cure on Brogg when I get a chance.
After the crazy Bobcat from the sky messes up those casters, that is! Rraugh! He's so angry!
That's a great picture, too. The bobcat's so angry he just looks bored - falling angrily from the sky is all part of his day, I think. It's surprising for all concerned, but he's come to accept that as his lot in life. I will name him Mortimer Snerd Johannan III - he comes from a long and angry line of Johannan Bobcats.
I'd kinda like to find a weapon, too - after the bobcat and the cure.
Oh - and I roll an '8' on the blogroller - 10 hp for Mortimer Snerd Johannan III! 10 angry hit points!
Maybe It'll Go Better This Time, Wounded, Mikeless, and Without Equipment
Okay Brogg, you lift the guard's broadsword and ready your rock.
Dave, you get ready to bring a crazy bobcat on-line- please see description below. You'll have to roll for hp, 1d8+2, and note that it has two attacks per round, with a THACO of 19. Fury, worked, check.
Cinder, you begin to remove the guard's armor. Yeah, he gives you some guff, as would any man if another man attempts to violently disrobe him. His sight comes back and he exclaims "You would seize my goods as well as my life? Have you no GWKTHWCKCKSSSH" is the sound of you stabbing him in the mouth, severing his larynx or jugular or something and ending his life. I'll rule that you can get the armor halfway on (+1, not +2 to AC) in the round.
Hp check: Brogg, 1 hp, 1 spell left (PFE I think). Dave, 8 hp, 2 spells left (Summon and something). Ed, 6 hp. It's looking pretty rough. And it's just about to get rougher.
Finally the reinforcements arrive. But not for you. It's those two Potion Guild guys again, with two other guards! They've got broadswords out and ready in the front. The two mages look pretty surprised to see you guys out of the cells and to see the other guard dead on the ground. The gnome says "Holy shit!"
Dave, you drop a Summon Animal I and get a crazy bobcat. That little guy goes point blank and can attack this round- direct as you will. Both casters are casting...
Brogg, you lop the cobblestone at guard one's head. He's tonked for 1 hp but momentarily stunned.
Cinder, do whatcha like. Note that poison is a bit faster than advertised... you lose another CN point. CN 12 and dropping buddy.
No. Appearing: 1
% In Lair: 0%
Treasure Type: nil
# Attacks: 2
Damage: 1d4 per paw
Special Abilities: crazy, flies
Alignment: Chaotic neutral
Psionic Ability: nil
This furious forest critter is mad as hell. The bobcat relentlessly attacks any comers with two paws in your face non stop. A particularly surprising ability of the bobcat is dropping suddenly out of the sky. This ability seems to be as much a surprise to the bobcat as to its target, perhaps contributing to the seething rage of this small temperate-dwelling cat.
I take the bolt I plunged into the gaurd and um, the one in me as well and stand near the back of the party ready to fire on the gaurds as they walk in. I take the gaurds armor as well and begin to put it on if I have time.
If the gaurd gives me any guff, I'll just stab him again with that bolt and have Brogg join in with the broadsword. In fact, I'll just do him while he's scribbling in is notebook. The French may call it Slow Death, but Cinder only speaks common...
Cinder says to Dave: "Friend...I am feeling weaker...I believe we must find an antidote the poison in my veins...can Great Odin aid me?"
Brogg - we're on the same page. The Crazy Bobcat page, that is - I'm prepping the summon spell for as soon as someone comes into range, to mazimize the duration.
Cinder - how you doing? Strong enough to fire some bolts into some guards?
I begin working myself up into a righteous fury, the better to smite some dudes.
Brogg remembers the Alamo:
Sweet picture, Ed.
I thank my rodent friend and tell him that as soon as the situation is under control, I will obtain his meat.
Rob, I grab the guard's broadsword, which is also my weapon of choice.
Standing ready, I hurl the cobblestone at the first person that comes through the door!
Dave, Fist of Odin, this might be a good time for a crazy bobcat.
Le Zombi Est Perdu
You're pretty sure you hear the sound of one zombie falling.
Okay Ed, looks like you rolled... 4. Not bad, times two is 8 hp. The guard grunts and slides down the wall, dropping his broadsword and clutching his stomach where you stabbed him. The bolt's still in him. Ed... you begin not to feel so good. You lose 1 CN. It's getting worse. The guard spits up and says "Yes my friend. Now you feel it. This poison slowly ebbs away our mortal coil. The French called it 'Le Mort Lentement'... the 'Slow Death'. We have just minutes to make our peace." He goes quiet and looks thoughtful and pulls out a notebook.
Mark, the rat grabs the keys from the slouching guard and comes over to you. You unlock your cell and escape. The rat says: "Remember. Meat. We had a deal. Unless you want some plague, son."
Dave, your potential animal summons for level 1 are the following:
1) celestial fox
2) giant rat
3) tired badger
4) big owl
5) small mule
6) crazy bobcat
7) half an ox
8) beautiful bear cub
Dave, in your cell you see... some fungus on the wall, a chamberpot, and a tooth. There's no one else in the prison with you. I'll just assume Mark lets Dave out of his cell. You hear people coming... you guess you each have one round to prepare...
Things are looking bad for Our Heroes. Except for Zombie Mike, of course, who seems to be doing some biz over there. What kind of monsters are on my summon list? Anything that could help break a couple of clerics out of their jail cells?
Are there any other prisoners in here?
Hey - and I want a brick, too. Besides my pants, anything good in this cell?
If nothing else, I keep bashing my door. I roll an '82' on percentage, and my strength is 15. Let me know if anything happens - or if there's something better to do.
Hmm... I guess that the list of cleric spells on the web was 2nd Edition.
Anyway, then meat it is my friend! Fresh-off-the-dog if you can fetch me those keys!
These guards are quite verbose.
The End of My Ugh
That's a sweet ass picture. +50 xp. You know
that guy has "short sword, leather armor, high soft boots, thieves tools" written on his character sheet.
Okay Cinder, you fail your saving throw against poison. Nothing seems to immediately happen. However, the guard laughs and says "A ha! I sense that I have struck you with my poisoned bolt. You see my friend, we are in the Potion Guild. They are the ones who have provided me with the poison, come to put you all to the Sleep of Nephas, Queen of the Underworld. I treat you again to return to your cell and await your quiet doom. Do not seek it on the end of my UGH" you stick him with the crossbow bolt. Roll for damage, 1d4 x2 for backstab. 12, pretty good, but the guard fails his save. A knowing fear blossoms in his blind eyes.
Brogg, you cast Speak With Animals. Actually, that's a Druid spell not a Cleric spell, and you can only multiclass Druid if you're like a half-elf. It's okay though. Grisbane God of Halfbreeds will grant it to you as your, uh, "speciality spell" for worshipping him and serving him good. Anyway, the rat kind of looks at you funny and says "Um, are you sure now is a good time to chat? I mean I'd love to talk, but you and your friends look a little busy. Sure pal, I'll try to get those keys for you but only if they're about yay-high off the ground. And I want some meat. God-damn fresh-off-the-dog meat. No cheese. Do I look like a fucking MOUSE to you? Do I?" He runs off, towards the guard that Cinder stabbed.
Outside, a zombie screams.
Telling the gaurd that that was a nice speach, I cast Speak with Poisoned Bolt on that gaurd and swing again.
But I think I have a saving throw to make first...hmm...an 8. I'm not sure what the fallout for that is yet, so if I'm in a position to do so, I take another swing on that guard with my bolt. I roll a 19! Sweet. I hope that actually happens.
Brogg is not "Blog" misspelled! or, I'll show you how weird Speak with Animals is!
Excellent! Crouching down next to my little cell mate, I Speak with Animals with the rat. I tell him that if he were simply to get me the keys to this cell, then, I swear to Grisbane, that I would reward him with more cheese and bread than he has ever seen!
I put my trust in you, little friend.
I will also take that cobblestone out, Rob.
This Is What He Was Waiting For All His Life
Okay Cinder, you snatch up the poisoned bolt and, fumble.
There's one law of gaming- critical fumbles kill PCs. Seen it happen time and time again. Cinder, the guard says "A ha!" and shoots you point blank in the gut with the crossbow. 15 will hit you. You're lucky, 1 hp, so you're not dead but... make a save.
Out of poisoned bolts and now in melee, he pulls out his standard issue guard broadsword and... 8, whiff. From down the hall you hear "Aah! Zombies!"
The guard then says "Surrender criminals or you shall taste my blade. The town of Grito is a peaceful, quiet place, and we like to keep it that way... free from the likes of you. Maybe if you'd just stay put we could work something out, talk with the Durth Mining College, see if they need some slaves. But alas, you spew curses from ancient gods and make me fire at you with my crossbow. The other guards shall soon be here, and it's unlikely you'll make it out of here alive. And if so, what then? Have a drink at the tavern? Steal a purse from a wealthy merchant? No, the townsfolk too shall shun you. Have at thee!"
Brogg, in your cell there's a loose cobblestone, a rat, and some graffiti "Blackwall Thiefs 4evr".
Check it- "blogger" will spell check your posts. Although it's almost like Chris was here too- wipes a single tear- with all the "wierd gaurds" hanging around. I wonder if they have the stengh to ware there roabs?
Seriously though, adding your name in the title of your post may be a good idea. Especially if you post something like "Rob, 12, did I hit?" I guess I could check the posting log though.