Ice Storm Is No Save, BTW
Well, seeing the clay golem pop into being, the death knight sighs and says: "Whatever. Let's keep your doughboy busy while we dance.
" He gates in a Type II demon, I'm not kidding you, and the demon and the golem get on down. (Renwick still gets a round.)
Okay Marivhon, you toss the wand to the dog. The dog runs off with it, momentarily confusing Rodger the Ranger. Rodger the Ranger is unfazed however, and yells "En garde!" while attacking Lord Roderick Skullbones. BR:5 doesn't cut the mustard.
Bear comes in. 11, that's a Polar Bear, which is good choice. The bear gets a claw and a bite in on the death knight to match Cinder for 10 more hp. Wow, you guys have actually wounded Lord Skullbones, who's starting to get pissed.
Cinder, you hit the death knight hard, but fumble on him again. The death knight strikes you for 16 hp, dropping you right to 0 hp. He kind of laughs at that. Then he Ice Storms, and everyone in melee takes 21 more hp. This shuts down Marivhon and Rodger the Ranger and seriously wounds Brogg and Dave FoO, although Marivhon you get your action before you get shot to -4 and dropping (throwing the wand to the dog doesn't count). Oddly, Polar Bears aren't immune to Ice Storm, because most of that damage is from getting pelted by huge chunks of ice. Bears hate that too.
Keep on people, we can wrap this in a few more posts if you just keep on...
BR:1 (Again? WTF?!) and 20 on Skullboner next round. I do 10 points of damage and bend over for the crit.
Whoa, Death Knight.
I summon a Clay Golem and tell him to kick Lord Skullbones' ass.
Then I drop an Invisibility to Undead on myself.
Renwick, Lord Skullbones stares you down and says: "Et toi, Magic-User?
" Without even looking at Dave FoO, he smacks the priest for 8 hp (11 - 3 soak) with his evil black sword
Dave, Fist of Odin
God damn it. I try to talk to the guys, and end up having to clobber.
On second thought, I'm much better at the one than at the other. See! BR 1. Ummm,
Yeah. Next round I bring in a bear.
gently plucks it out my hand my ass.
Dex check to avoid him BR 3!.
I don't think so.
But I'll take the opportunity to toss it to the dog "fetch boy, and run!"
I ready my polearm. When I get to attack I get an 8, ah well.
He's A Real Gentleman Like That
Okay Cinder, the death knight sighs on your critical fumble, and draws his sword.
," he says. "Let's just do this, if you insist. Now that I think about it, I guess it is high time I took my revenge on you.
" He clears his throat and takes a more formal manner with you. "Allow me to introduce myself,
" he says, taking a swing on your fumble and hitting you for 10 hp, "I'm Lord Roderick Skullbones, servant of Orcus, and I expect to kill you all. You killed my wife and my horse, and you'll pay in flesh, blood, and pain.
Marivhon, you grab the wand, a long, ornate shard of bone, and point it at Lord Skullbones, gritting your teeth and shaking it a little. "You really have no idea what you're doing, do you?
" Skullbones says, giving you a quizzical look. He gently plucks it out of your hand. "Best leave that up to the professionals. If you're ready to be fireballed, why don't you go stand over there with your friends? Else I'll just kill them, then Power Word: Kill you and make your heart explode. But the first way is cleaner.
Rodger the Ranger and Abercrombie leap into action! Abercrombie misses, but Rodger hits the death knight for 3 hp! "You have to be kidding me,
" says Lord Skullbones incredulously. "Who the hell is this guy? A dog? You're having a 10 gp guard dog attack a death knight? Is this the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons comedy hour or something?
" Quietly to himself, Lord Skullbones still can't believe it: "A guard dog attacking a death knight... That just ain't right.
Lord Skullbones politely waits for everyone else to post before taking his action.
ok, I hope he goes for his sword and attacks Cinder, because this death knight put down the wand he was using in the ritual. I do a fast jump/roll and grab the wand. I point it at the death knight.
"you might want to think very hard about what you do next mr. Knight."
I try to us the wand on mr 20d6 fireball.
Dave, FoO, I notice that you talked shit to the Death Knight, then failed to attack. Please remedy that.
This is how you do it:
"The only Power Word you'll be castin is Power Word 'Mommy' pal."
BR:1 and 6
Well, you get the idea. You speak, and then follow it up with an attack. Uh, yeah.
Dave, Fist of Odin
"Hmmm . . . Sir, you look familiar to us as well. Have we met in battle before, either with steel or with rhymz? No, I would remember a battle with a voice such as yours - it must be the battle then.
But, that zombie is our friend and boon companion, and I would not see him hurt. Ummm, you know, more then zombies generally are. How you doin' there, Mike?"
I'm using the +1 Dwarven shield, unless anyone else wants dibs or it's weird to use a Dwarven god's shield as a priest of Odin. I mean, I'm pretty sure Odin's down with that - plunder and spolis of war and such - but just flyin' that flag up.
Power Word: Own
Well, that does it then. Brogg, you go all Equus on the nightmare and stab it through the eye. The horse convulses for a while, then dies. You quaff a potion and heal to full.
The Piccolo Grave stands before you.
In you go. The Grave is an ancient ossuary. You pull open the massive stone door revealing a small chapel, lit faintly by a couple braziers in the back. You seem to have interrupted a ritual; the black knight is doing something foul over the motionless body of M1K on the black stone altar. Imagines of undead and demons and stuff fill the chapel, cover the pillars, you get the idea.
The black knight looks up at you, his eyes burning with the black flame of hate. He puts down some weird wand and sighs in disgust.
," he says. "I'm a death knight. A god-damned Death Knight. Do you know what that means? Do you kids even read the fucking Fiend Folio anymore?
" He shakes his helmed head despairingly.
"I've got shit to do. I don't have time for your Mickey Mouse 3rd level adventure crap. Go fight a wraith or something. Don't make me 20d6 fireball your asses. Get the hell out of here before I Power Word: Own you.
He looks down to get back to his work, but then does a double take, removing his helmet. "Hey... you guys look familiar... do I know you from somewhere?
" His hand reaches down towards the hilt of his evil sword.
Damned Donkey of Death!
That fumble was the last mistake you'll ever make! BR:7.
AC:5? Hmm. 8 points if so.
And for my
round, BR:20! Ha Hah ha ha ahahaa ha! You're Undead glue, buddy! You are Zombie Dog food! Ha! 18 points of damage!
Oh, and I chug a Potion of X-tra Healing for 15. Wow, how nice.
Okay Cinder, you smack the nightmare. Brogg, hit, but on the critial fumble, you get hooved for 6. The nightmare stays on you! Whiff. Rodger the Ranger and Abercrombie tag-team the evil horse, getting in a pair of hits the first round for 8 more, but then failing to connect the next round. Brogg, more horse attacks. Hit and a fumble, you take 5 more dmg.
We're into round four. Nightmare has init, Brogg, 4 more dmg, you've taken 15 so far this combat. Rodger the Ranger and his dog get a pair of deuces. Everybody dance.
OMFG! That apple orchard is a bitch. I got between the house and one of those trees, and next thing I know, my icon is just shaking all freaky like. I tried to jump, and shift+Z, but no good. It wasn't until I scrolled through my equipment that I got unstuck.
Anyway... A Nightmare!? I vanquish this equine perversion! BR:5. Hmm.
Well, next round he faces twice the fury! BRs:13,1. Huh. Well, the 13 is a solid hit for 13 points of Grisbanic Wrath! -No death-throw fumbles, eh?
Yey there, sorry that I havn't been around.
Someone used their security features to keep me from piggy backing on their signal. Bastards.
I'll throw a dart at that pony. Br 3.... Next round the same Br 13.
That's some nice initiative that horse has! Maybe I wanted to set my dagger to the charge...
Well an 8 makes the dex, so I take only 4.
Cinder's about to use his 'animal handling' skill if you know what he means haha.
And the horse, of course, (again, ha) takes 9 points from my longsword. Ah, sweet d12. Don't forget that Roger the ranger is (was) on this horse too.
And here's next round to boot.
Uh, two misses.
Two misses again. Can I get a witness?
Okay Cinder, you race off to the bar. Maybe it's your lucky night or something, but one of the friends of a guy you know says "Hi Cinder, nice to meet you. I'm Rodger the Ranger. I'm a 3rd level Ranger. Let's do this thing. I'll bill you Thiefs later." You, Rodger the Ranger, and Rodger the Ranger's dog Abercrombie all head back to Shady Orchards.
When you return, Marivhon and Abbey are gone. As you head into the night, Greetles returns with three horses.
So it's Cinder and Rodger the Ranger on one horse, Renwick and Brogg on the second horse, and Dave FoO alone on the third. Flint Fireforge refuses to get on a horse and will walk, because everyone knows that dwarves and horses don't mix!!!
Marivhon, okay, this asshole's sure riding a ways. Failed CN check, you can't keep up. Failed WI check, you can't intuit where he's going. But successful IQ check... You stop and catch your breath. "Think, damn it, think!" you think to yourself. There's nothing from Grito in this direction... where could the rider be going with M1k? Nothing in this direction... nothing, that is, except for Piccolo Grave, the ancient shrine of Orcus! But there's been no activity from the Grave in decades... Perhaps the sleeping evil has finally awakened? You nod somberly and begin the march off towards Piccolo.
As you near the rocky bluff that the Grave looms on top of, like a bitter gargoyle or buzzard perched on a gnarled tree, your friends show up. You get on Dave FoO's horse and continue the journey on a horse.
Up the bluff, you see the black rider's black horse! The rider is nowhere to be seen... perhaps he is already inside the stony vaults of the macabre shrine before you. The horse attacks! It charges Cinder and Rodger the Ranger's horse, hitting, killing that horse dead. Cinder, you take 8 hp from the charge, half damage if you make a DX check. The horse readies a second charge...
Cinder emerges from shadows!
...and sees Mike 1K being carried off. Hmm.
"You know Marivhon, zombies are pretty stinky."
Are there any tracking dogs in town? Grito's population has kind of exploded due to the mass exodus.
"Be right back"
Cinder trots over to where he and the other Blackwalls drink.
"Hey guys, I need to get my hands on a tracking dog quick. Know anybody? Mike 1K just got speared through the gut and carried off by a mysterious black rider, and we gotta track his ass."
Cinder then heads back to Marivhon.
"Hey Abbey. Can you find him? Do you even care to?"
Alone in the woods Marivhon thinks dark thoughts.
I hope my friends are ok.
I hope I'm ok.
I hope thats not poison ivy I just ran through.
Okay Marivhon, you dash off into the night. Unfortunately, your 'friends' seem to be caught in server lag. Cinder is turning little circles, Brogg seems to be caught on the pixels of a tree, Renwick just logged off, and Dave FoO is getting smacked by a troglodyte in a baseball cap who keeps publicing "N3WB 1 PWND U!!!!! I JUST PWNED YR A$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We'll take a short station break while the news sinks in.
con 13 nope, int 7 yep, wis 12 nope. The flames coming off the horses hoofs don't radiate heat! What foul magic is this?
Get It? Neigh-Boring. Say It Slow.
Okay Marivhon, you sprint off into the night. Let's see, make a CN check, an IQ check, and a WI check. By the way, with half-elf infravision? Neither horse, nor rider, nor M1K glow, so you can't rely on that for following.
Gregolas is all like "Whoa dudes... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Uh, I'm kinda baked right about now? Don't know if I can handle this right about now."
Greetles goes to round up some horses from neighboring farms.
Abbey murmurs something, nods her head, and walks into the shadows.
I run, I run as fast as this fast little monk can after that guy yelling all sorts of insults and obscenities.
"I knew you were still alive you damn coward!"
"get off your flaming horse and fight me!"
run little monk run.