Pull Up, Hop Out, All In One Motion
Here is a map of the GMI's Subsea Station A. If you want more info about this place, just look back to posts at the end of November 2006 or do a blogger search for GMI or something. You're smart people, you'll get it.

1) you are downstairs in the lighthouse, but
2) you don't have to cross Ezekiel's line to leave.

Hope that clears shit up. You woke up on the floor of the weird metal Experiment room, again.


Letter sent to Kottke. I dunno, I don't think he'll post this though.

Static on the CB. Huh.

The chainmail is hobbit, large. Either of you could wear it. I don't really care, but you'll need to ask who will benefit more I guess... or whatever. Figure it out.

Bone wand looks like a one foot long wooden dowel, 'cept it's clearly made of bone. No markings or runes. No chips neither.

The book is a Magic-User book. Threnody, knock yessef out.

Ezekiel passes on the food Dag, with a polite holding-up of his hand and a shake of his head. "Nope, none for me thanks. I eat babies, remember? Toddlers, tykes, little whipper-snappers, Daddy's Big Boy, Little Precious... line 'em up. If you had a baby, we'd talk business. As is, sorry."

Up you go. Raining like crazy outside. Damn. In the chill wind, you curse your luck- no boats or nothing. Then...

Then you spy, bobbing up and down in the waves, at the end of the dock, a metal hatch in the water.

Fuckin A, looks like someone's left a sub here.


The map:


Imagination? Am I mistaken? I must have misunderstood where we are. Are we in the downstairs level of the main building? or are we out in the room underwater past Ezekiel?

Nevermind about getting past Ezekiel... I still offer some of the food, but I'm with Theo. Up we go.


  Theodore Koppel
Damn, it's a wizard book. 8 first circle, 4 second, and 2 third. You roll em, Thren.

What's the story with this bone wand? I give it a good look over. Then I give Azoth a good buggering. -That boy's been quiet.

What's up with the chainmail? Can I not physically pull it over my head? Or does it just feel wrong? I can't imagine it would make my HD any worse. Oh well.

Hey KT, does that CB get wireless? -Let me see it for a minute. I have a grand idea. I happened to notice that Bekker's subscribes to Jason Kottke's Twitter feed. Perhaps we can get Mr. Kottke to warn the Ambassador and the Princess that the Evil Bekkers is on their tail.

I dispatch the following message:

Dear Mr. Kottke,

Big fan of Kottke.org. I've always regarded your Blog as a wonderful distilling of cultural gems. Please have no doubt in your mind that I could elaborate on this topic without preparation. However, due to the present circumstances, I fear to waste (spend?! -SRY) time doing so.

You see, the illustrious Ambassador Bekkers, envoy to the Royal Family of Onze, has descended deep into Twilos with the aim of hiding the hapless Princess sideways in time. Yes, I know what you are thinking... She is only 15, and he's like what, 45? But, I give you my word, his intentions are completely honorable.

Ok, they are more or less honorable. Shit. Maybe they aren't honorable at all. Nonetheless, I do know that Bekkers is working to spare the young Princess the same 'juicing' fate that befell her inauspicious brother.

So, Mr. Kottke, if you'll forgive my manners, I'll cut-to-the-chase, as it were.

It is my sincerest belief that you could greatly improve the chances of the noble Lady's survival if you might Twitter the following:

bgn msg-

"Mr. Bekkers, please continue sideways in time with all due haste. EVIL BEKRS IS ON OUR TAIL. We have been framed! Now @ GMI. -SNCRLY, TK."

-end msg

Thank you so kindly for you help in advance!


Theodore Koppel

p.s. It is only right that you might suspect such a cry to be a hoax. I assure, this is no hoax! Please refer to this neutral account of the events if you feel (so rightfully) hesitant.

Dag, you seem to be captured by your imagination.

I head to the elevator. -Let's go upstairs guys.
"Ah Ha!!! I knew I couldn't slip one by YOU Ezekiel. You wanna shed some light on how we got down here? And I don't suppose you would 'look the other way' and let us scram outta here would ya?"

Rob, I flip through all of the books looking for any notations, loose papers, or anything hidden in the pages. Anything special about the Iron Bracer? Let me know when I can cast detect magic. Something in here is magical... not that I want to fight Ezekiel, I'm just hoping there is something in here we could trade him or use to gain safe passage outta here.

If nobody else speaks up in the next little while, I nab the rations and start eating. Near death experiences really give a man an appetite, you know? Let's just say I start with my portion of the rations... and I offer some up to the others, including Thaka and Zeke, but if there are no takers, I eat like a long haul truck driver at the Hometown Buffet.


  The Companion Volume Is "Ohio:The Buckeye State: The Decline and Fall: 1970-1985"
Sorry Koppel, as an Illusionist Thief you can't wear the chainmail. You take 10 gp and the wand, and sit around waiting for someone to roll a d4. If you don't know what I mean by that, re-read the damn posts.

Dag, you rake it in: chainmail, one gem, mace, dagger, bracer, prayer beads, and holy symbol. You can cast spells as a cleric once you rest and re-memorize... you don't need a crappy book like the mages do. You don't really need that holy symbol either, unless you want to convert to worshipping the halfling goddess, which would be fine.

Thren, I'll assume you're taking the bow and arrows, and you're also waiting for the roll of that d4. Really guys, once you roll, roll up the spells too. I'm letting it all come to PC chance. If you don't roll, there ain't no spells! LOL.

Dag, you also take the three books. Exceedingly dry stuff:
1) "Currents and Eddies: A Guide to Deep Sea Sailing"
2) "Ohio: The Buckeye State: The Golden Years: 1945-1970"
3) "Non-Magic Missiles, Or What To Do When The DM's Screwed You Out Of Spells Again (written by and for low-level magic-users)"


Dag, Ezekiel responds quietly to your query. "I'd first consider the assumptions underlying that question, son."


I'll nab one of the two gems, the mace, iron bracer, boot knife, prayer beads, and the three other books. Any word on what they are? I also examine the holy symbol. Did you say I can't cast?

And if the chainmail is bigger than TK, I'll get in line for it.

"So Zeke... how did we get down here? I mean... c'mon, some one had to have crossed your line to haul our mugs in here."


  Theodore Koppel
Is that halfling-sized chainmail? If so, I put it on.

I also take 10gps and the bone wand. What's the deal with the Spellbook? Wizard or Illusion?

I wait for my pals to suit up.
  The Gorgos Meteorological Institute, Take 3
You remember the general layout of the place, right? There's the living quarters and odd machinery, where you just woke up. Down the metal hallway, is the elevator back up to the lighthouse. Forming a 'T-intersection' is the weird transparent glass sea tunnel leading to the other part of the station. You haven't been there yet, because there's a small line of blue runes, and Ezekiel's job, at least that he told you, is to guard that tunnel.


Ezekiel the demon grins. "Hey there. Long time, no see."

He looks down at the corpses. "Yeah, well, you know adventurers. They just didn't listen. Look, you guys know the score- enter my tunnel, cross that blue line, and I gotta try to kill you. It's just business. Sad sacks didn't even have a magic weapon..."

He laughs to himself. "Or at least, they didn't think they did. Deal still holds by the way, so if you're looking to add to the 'redecoration'," he indicates the carnage, "then come on down."


Ezekiel doesn't seem to mind you looting these 'sad sacks' though. "Here, lemme help ya." He kicks one of the bodies that was in the sea tunnel back over the blue line to your side, so that you can strip all three corpses of their stuff.


Suit of plate mail, banged up
Shield with a apple tree on it
Long sword
Long bow
Quiver of 20 arrows
Flint and tinder
Iron bracer
Pouch of 50 gp

Suit of chainmail
Holy symbol of Yolanda Littlefoot, goddess of halflings
Prayer beads
Bag of rations

Pack of three other books
Vial of gold dust
Pouch of 10 gp and two gems
Bone wand


As for the spellbook, well let's be fair. Someone roll a d4: on a 1, it's an Illusionist book, otherwise it's Magic-User.

Contains 1d6+3 1st circle spells, 1d4+1 2nd circle spells, and 1d3 3rd circle spells. Roll off chart randomly.
This is bloddy-well the best day of my life.

"I could rightwell use a bacon cheeseburger... and a beer! I've never felt so alive."

I hug everyone... well except for Zeke... and not Thaka either... I do extend my hand to her though, and I show her my Tatoo. I start ransacking bodies for food and equipment. Please tell me they left me my prized belt. I have already removed it from my sheet, but would be glad to bring it back.


Well, fuck. Okay - "oh, hey there, Zeke, how're things? You kill these guys?"

I look for a spellbook and a bow.
"Zeke what's going on dude? Why'd you kill these guys? What's been happening?

I'd give you some food but I was sold into captivity so I got nothing. Life has been kind of shitty lately, what's your 411."
  I1: The Deep Freeze (Part 2)
[Don't forget to read the longer post below guys.]

[In fact, go read that right now. Don't worry, this post will wait for you.]


Theodore, you quickly find the light switch. CLICK.

You're all here. Oddly, that includes Thaka Laba Dula, again. You're all lying on the floor (except now for Theo), without any of your equipment (go ahead and erase it all), dressed only in odd red robes.

You've seen this place, and these robes before. The logo on the breast gives it away. The metal walls of the room give it away. Stepping outside into the hallway, and seeing Ezekiel the guardian demon certainly gives it away.

You're back at the GMI, in the underwater level.

The place is in horrible disarray, like it was recently ransacked.

In the hall near where Zeke hangs out, there are three corpses, that look about a week old. Clearly somebody was loving the cliches, as there's the body of a priest, a wizard, and a knight. Judging from the looks of it, Ezekiel must've killed them.

Ezekiel looks at you, and a big, shit-eating toothy grin emerges over his demon's face.


Well, you don't have any stuff. You're all out of spells. You're at full hp. Again, weirdly, Paul's character is hanging out here.

The Princess and Ambassador Bekkers are nowhere to be seen. Please remove your pretty princess levels.

On the plus side, there's some stuff in the hallway- those NPCs probably won't be needing it anytime soon- and Ezekiel still isn't trying to kill you.



  Theodore Koppel
You remember Theodore, valiantly fending off tons of Bugbears and more awful illusion magic with his 1 hp and awful illusions of his own, to no avail. He was rendered unconscious. You remember the bitching of the PCs after this pseudo-storylining, although the bitching was not quite as fierce as when Paul was an active player. -ROFL

I start feeling around. Any heat sources but us?
  I1: The Deep Freeze
It is cold, and dark. But where there is sensation, there is life; where life, there is memory, or maybe dreams?


You recall the fight at the ice cream factory. You recall King Tut failing to roll his two saving throws vs. spells, so the DM used the first two blogroll'd d20 result in combat, which alas, failed the save. King Tut was held paralyzed by the magicks of the evil gnome Illusionist Barnabas Frye, enemy of the people, and former enemy of, well, you.

You remember Theodore, valiantly fending off tons of Bugbears and more awful illusion magic with his 1 hp and awful illusions of his own, to no avail. He was rendered unconscious. You remember the bitching of the PCs after this pseudo-storylining, although the bitching was not quite as fierce as when Paul was an active player.

You remember waking, bound, captive again. Shit.

You remember Barnabas Frye cackling in glee, counting his monies like a miser, as he sold you to slavers, a Captain Tom Frick, 100 gp a head. Barnabas waved and gave you the finger as you were led off in chains and gags. He was especially happy to have recovered a few of the famed '31 Flavours' illusions. Which you took from him before of course.

You recall cold nights and sweaty days, bound in the cargo hold, while Tom Frick and his crew of slavers sailed off to parts unknown, although it was clear there was something special in store for you sorry lot.

Your last memory is the strangest; that of being bound still, but questioned by Frick and his orcish henchman, at the edge of sharp knives and a hot iron. No, 'twas not Frick doing the questioning, but Ambassador Bekkers, looking suddenly healthy, sane, and dapper.

"So," says the Ambassador, stentorian rather than slurred, "I'm to understand that our beloved Princess, along with that... ahem, evil twin of mine, have moved sideways in time? What the hell does that even mean?"

No answer you had.

The Ambassador, cross, begins anew, when interrupted by the Captain, banging the side of an old B&W television, trying to get reception despite the storm outside. "Uh, WTF?" said that Captain, this one more slurred than stentor'd.

On the television, pictures of you. Pictures of you, being led off a ship, a different ship with a different crew, you in different dress. Pictures of you, captives of the Chums of Charon, being handed off to the 'proper authorities' of Onze. News broadcast. Headline is "Princess's Kidnappers Finally Brought to Justice... CoCs Surrounded by Adoring 16 Yr Old Girls"

The Ambassador looks confused and disturbed. You're tortured into sweet oblivion.


Cold and dark. But together, alone, unbound, unequipped, spell-less but fully healthy.


Wait, Dag is dead? Why can't he stabilize with a berry? Can I roll one to him as a free action and he can eat it himself to stop bleeding?
  Theodore Koppel
Big mistake Bugbear.

Now that stink guy's out of melee, I step back and plug him twice!

BRs:12,17. Hell yeah. That's AC:7 for 4 and 3 points, respectively.

Next round, I shoot Barnabas. BRs:13,12. ACs:6 and 7 for 1 and 5.

Bring it!!!

Well, that was fun... thanks for the grilled cheese. -7 is where Dag steps into the great unknown.

"Dag's dead baby... Dag's dead."


3 rounds from KTizzle

me: BR2, 10. 8 pts of dmg.
spidey: BR8, BR3 for 7(x2).

BR 19, 3. 3 pts. sigh.
spidey: BR 16, 6. 4(x2).

me: BR 2, 14 for 7pts.
spidey: BR 17, 19 for 3(x2) and 4(x2).
  It's Looking Rough
Threnody, there's a good reason why your parley failed. I guess you missed that IQ check. However, fortunately you succeed in your IQ check against the Anacondabear, and disbelieve in it. Bugbear dropped, and you dispel one Illusionist Mirror Image and get a hit on the bastard with the last arrow.

Theo, sadly the Bugbear has more than 6 hp. You do yer best and hurt him bad. He... misses you though. He pens a wistful letter and posts it anonymously.

With no other victims in sight, the Anacondabear finally disappears.

Threnody, given that you're the missile fire threat, Bugbears turn on you. Namely, Dag's and Az's Bugbears, who now have nothing better to do. 20 and 8 is one hit for 10 total, oof, and down you go too.

Next round, Theo Mirror Images. Bugbears could care less and all turn on Tut. Two hits for 12 total...


Az: CON 5/14, hp -8/15
Dag: -7/36 hp
KT: 9/36 hp
Theo: CON 1/10, hp 1/18
Threnody: -3/15 hp


  Theodore Koppel
I'll take that crit, BR:7.

Ok... I've got 1hp and two attacks. I bring it! BRs:10,20.

DOUBLE DAMAGE!!!!! For... 6 points. Take it BB!

If that drops that Bugbear, I Mirror Image myself. Is Barnabas still in sight?


  The Mindflayer

Yes this is The Mindflayer broadcasting directly into your brain from within my satellite. I’m orbiting the dogstar cause I’m serious and direct braincasting is serious business. I’m on a direct rendezvous for the moon of Saturn and I am completely undefeatable.

Now let me tell you a little something.

Rockin this business seven days a the week

My eyes on the end and I’m feelin fatique

Get outta work, to the crib I will sneak

Lookin for ladies, a right propa freak

It’s Friday night an I just got pizzaid

Goin to the club lookin just to get laid

My style’s explosive like Osama’s grenade

Rollin up to the club in an 08 Escalade

New hat, new threads, new kicks on my feet

My outfit is sweet and elite and complete

Clips fulla hunneds, cuff links bring the heat

And I’ll be hittin those bitches like my name is Rose Pete

Kickin brannew MJs, didn’t take the tag off

Gittin tipsy on 40s and a shot of Smirnoff

Party’s turned on and the beeper’s turned off

Tactics is gettin racked bitches vis-à-vis Hasselhoff

Leanin back at the bar, just walked in the door

Spy a spry filly bootyrockin the floor

Bending on over, oh shit she bend more!

She the canonic’ example of the bitches j’adore.

Beat’s hella thumpin and I’m chattin up she

Come on little mama have a drink on me

Bouncer’s my homeboy, drink tickets is free

Let’s take this here party all up V.I.P.

My rhymes will persuade you

My footwork will amaze you

My b.a. will surprise you

With all the things I will buy you

Maneuvas in place for the enda the chase

I’m sizin up honey all uppa en face

But o shit when she smile the game was debased!

Her teeth hella nasty rockin big metal brace!

I said “O shit! O I’m sorry! Shit lookit the time!”

An I made a fast exit from the scena the crime

But thass the life of Mind Flaya, True Playa n prime

Another day, nother dollar, more bitches, new rhyme.


IQ check vs. Anaconowlbear? 14. Makes it handily.

I have a bugbear on me? I believe I have two rounds to catch up, and then I'll post two more rounds.

My plan is to fire on my bugbear until he or she drops, and then on that illusionist. It sounds like we tried to parlay and were denied, so now I've got some stuff to do.

BR 7, 12, 8, 19. Those all hit AC 5 in close combat, AC 6 to illusionist range. (BR 2, 5, 3, 5) for 4, 7, 5, and 7 points of damage.

I'm pretty sure that drops a bugbear somewhere, and then further hits are to the illusionist.

And here's two more rounds - BR 3, 16, 9, 13. Probably three hits: (BR 6, 1, 5) for 8, 3, and 7 more points of damage. If the illusionist goes down or does something tricky, I fire at other bugbears.

BUT - if any foes go invisible, I cast detect invis and keep shooting.
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

What type of dice? How many dice?

3 Sided

4 Sided

5 Sided

6 Sided

8 Sided

10 Sided

12 Sided

20 Sided

30 Sided

100 Sided











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