Vrill's Got An Important Two O'Clock He Doesn't Want To Miss
Vrill throws his hands up. "Well thank god you guys finally arrived!" he says, meaning the guards. "Look, are we done here?" Vrill says to Brogg and Cinder. "Because, you know, I'm the Burghermeister, and my house was just burnt down, and I've got a lot of stuff to do. This really isn't a great time for me. Thanks." Vrill claps you on the back in a 'hey buddy' kind of way, Cinder.
Grrrr..just let me know when I'm there. I hand Gregolas some of my pipe weed I bought from him. "hey guys are you sure bringing "abbey" is a good idea?" 2 pts for double quotes...
Returning To The Scene Of The Crime: A Good Idea?
Okay Marivhon, hang on. It'll take you a little while to get back to Shady Orchards, whether monk running or on horse. We need to sort out what's going on with Cinder, Brogg, and the town guard first.
Again, we wait for Cinder's move. I'll assume Dave FoO and Gregolas are on the horses, Dave FoO with Steve APG and Gregolas with 'Abbey'. In fact, Marivhon can run about as fast as these horses. It'll take you a few minutes in game time to get back to Shady Orchards- note that that will be several *dozen* rounds, if it comes to rounds. Cinder, you still have some juice left in that potion of polymorph. That should cover the obvious questions. And yes, you're basically going to ride right through a crowd of confused and exicted peasants. We're talking on the order of 100, if not upwards of 300, with roughly a 15:1 serf:guard ratio. Recall that most of Greyhelm migrated to Grito.
As you ride, Gregolas says "Hey. Yeah, I got a question. What the frick is goin' on, dudes? A giant bird? What's up with all the bird crap? For bein' stone cold killers, you guys sure do things crazy. Call it my half-elven stoner intuition, but I got a feeling this just got a lot messier."
Well. However it happens when I get back to shady orchards I break this guys fucking neck.
If the guards try to stop me. I try and sob a little and say "wait he's my father" I walk up to him give him a hug and snap his neck.
Then I put on my "fathers" rings.
I fly back to Mike the Zombie and perch on his shoulder.
Mike Votes With His Stomach
Okay Cinder, you pick Vrill's pocket. I mean, the guy has 0 hp, covered in blood, you've had hands and swords to his neck, and you just saw him cry. Are you really worried about him catching you stealing from him?
Anyway, you deftly reach into his pouch. You find a keyring with two keys, 6 pp, 2 gp, and another one of Vrill's business cards. This one is a little more professional and reads:Gregory Vrill, Burghermeister of GritoFormer Guildmaster, Grito Potion GuildCEO of Vrill and Co. Owlbears Etc.Senior Partner, Church of Grisbane Grito Development Project
Mike the zombie looks at Vrill and gives a weird, creepy grin. "Brains..." drones Mike 1K.
"Wait, what?" says Vrill, horrified. "You're letting a zombie cast a deciding vote on a man's life? Hey, there's a lot of villagers right over there. Maybe we should have a trial by jury or something at least."
The Grito guard walks up. No no, that's not the one single guard who patrols all of Grito. It's actually about fifteen guys with weapons drawn. "NICE DAY, CITIZEN," he says. "DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND STEP AWAY FROM THE BURGHERMEISTER."
While Vrill is engrossed in this admittedly tense moment, Cinder picks his pockets. Lookin for items over coins here.
BR:11 Hell yeah.
And after he's done, Cinder whispers to Vrill. "By the way bitch, we're moving back into Shady Orchards. Don't get any ideas that this is just over if my buddy says to let you live. I'm imposing some motherfucking conditions on your ass. You know what my vote is
"Tell me quickly friend Mike the Zombie, before the crowd arrives. We have captured Vrill, who once killed you and is now pleading for his life. It is your vote that decided if he lives or dies. What is your answer?"
Cinder waits with swords drawn.
Apparently He Doesn't Have A Great Dental Plan
Hmm, okay, Cinder the roc picks up Vrill and flies low over the skies back to Shady Orchards. It is safe to say that the peasant mob is completely amazed by this and heads back to the farm to see WTF is going on.
There are two horses, the one Dave FoO came on, and the one Abbey and Steve APG came on. Just to make it clear, there's no way anyone but Brogg (and obviously Cinder) can make it to the farm before the mob gets there. The tail end of the mob is basically already there at the farmhouse, as several gawkers and city guardsmen are standing around watching it smoulder. Remember, this ain't just any house... this was the house of the Grito Potion Guild Guildmaster, now Burghermeister of Grito, and there's always been weird stuff going on here, so naturally people are very curious as to the latest hijinx.
Alright Cinder, you've landed back in the orchards, where Mike the zombie seems to be 'working' at his new 'job' of scarecrow. He's tethered to a stake in the ground in a modest tomato patch.
"How's... it... going... Cinder?" he intones. A maggot falls out of his mouth.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Umm . . . .
Okay - back to Shady Acres we go. Isn't the mob that direction?
How many horses are here? Brogg can fly - but we need to get Gregolas, Abbey, Apprentice Steve, Marivhon, and me there. I'll take Abbey, I guess. Marivohn - can you ride Apprentice Steve there? Is there another horse for Gregolas?
"Hate doesn't equal murder, huh Vrill? Tell that to our friend Mike whom you killed in the coldest blood possible. He was defensless in a cell. And don't give me this 'oh he's better off now bullshit.' That wasn't your intention. You reanimated him to enslave him to yourself. In fact, we need one more vote to decide your fate, and I believe it should be his, -the man you killed."
With that, Cinder morphs into a Roc, grabs Vrill, and takes to the air for Shady Orchards to find Mike the Zombie (but he flies kind of low in case the Polymorph potion wears off, cause I think the duration is in turns, but you never know...)
That's Not Possible!!
Marivhon, Vrill strains his neck just a little in a failed attempt to look up at you. He says: "Marivhon, my lad. Did you ever wonder... about your... father
"You're a half-elf. Did you know your dad- your real
dad? Did you ever wonder where you got that high IQ but low WI? Where your human blood came from? Your love of border collies
? And why I never attacked you? You were completely untouched by my powerful Fireball."
"That's right, Marivhon. It's true. I hesitated to tell you, as you seemed happy with your surrogate family and your career choice. But it's time I told you this. I, Gregory Vrill, I am... your father.
Now you need to decide if you're the kind of son... who can commit... patricide
. I'm sure you'll make the right choice... son
Gregolas Ain't Your Sandra Day
Marivhon forces Vrill back into the snow. "Oof," he says, one of his wounds re-opening. He bleeds a bit more on the ground. You tell him to take off his rings. He glares, rolls his eyes, and slides two nice rings off. One is gold, the other platinum. "My wedding ring," he sighs. "I guess I don't need that anymore anyway."
And speak of the devil.
Gregolas shows up, looking worried. "Hey dudes, everything chill? Oh... whoa. No, I guess shit ain't chilled here."
You quickly explain the situation, and ask Gregolas if he wants to cast a vote. "Who me? Oh no, I'm not gonna make that kind of decision. Bro, I really can't handle that kind of pressure. I mean, that guy is a total prick, I'm not going to cry in my oatmeal if he bites it. But I'm not your Sandra Day O'Connor, dig? I'm down with your whole Dirty Harry shit, but I ain't no Dirty Harry. I'm just Gregolas Half-Elven, in serious need of a serious bowl."
"Oh yeah," he continues. "I forgot what I came here to tell you. Look, whatever you're gonna do, you better do it soon before you have a big audience. The shit at Shady's, you know, the house burning and everything? Well there's sort of a big crowd now, and there's like a million serfs and villagers about to follow your tracks right here like I did."
Sure enough, Brogg, with your eagle eyes, you spot a large crowd of people over the hill and leaving Grito. They'll be here in probably five or ten minutes.
Vrill says "Oh, well, why don't you wait then? I mean, that's what you want, right? To be the big heroes and kill the evil wizard. Why don't you hang me in the middle of town or something if you're going to kill me? Then all of Grito can see what big heroes you are. Maybe there will be some princesses to marry you too, and a zombie princess for your good pal Mike the zombie."
Sensing that didn't help his case, Vrill tries to bribe you. "Look, can I just give you something? You want those two rings? There you go. How about Greetles getting his job back as mayor? How about that? Or how about some nice, lovable, courageous fighting collies? You guys adventure
, so you claim, perhaps some warrior pups or even an owlbear might do you some good? Huh, what do you say that?"
I sit his ass back down, and tighten up a little bit on my neck lock.
"You move again, I'll kill you. You may choose to keep talking. If you stop talking I'll take that as a sign you are ready to die."
"You killed 2 men working for you at Shady Orchards, You tried to kill me...so let's talk about something other than ethics for a while...ok. If you had me in this position I'd be dead already."
"If you live or die isn't up to me. It's up to you, well not really it's up to my friends here. We have a tie on votes to kill you. Maybe you can break that tie, but you haven't done it yet, and you almost got your neck broken when you tried to stand up so don't do that again. Then again maybe Gregolas would like to cast a vote."
To Abbey "I don't know who the fuck you are so stay back, unless you want to vote for Vrill to die."
Seriously Rob, I will break his neck if he get's too shifty. I am a monk so I should be able to keep him held in a neatral posture pretty well. Does Vrill have any rings? If so "Hey take your rings off too."
A Wonderful Magical Jewel
Apprentice Steve blogrolls a 6, is Held, and promptly falls off the horse. You tie him up and gag him for good measure.
Dave FoO, you aren't sure if 'Abbey' recognizes you or not. Now that you think more about it, wasn't the original Abbey a half-elf? This girl doesn't look half-elven; no pointy ears. She's acting sort of creepy though- I guess that's a point in favor of her really being 'Abbey'.
Odin also doesn't tell you jack. You're the Fist of Odin, not his ethical mouthpiece. You decide what Odin's law is, and carry it out.
You ask Vrill some more questions.
"The Knights of Armek? Come on, what, were you living in a cave? Oh wait..." Vrill thinks for a second. "Maybe, yeah, okay, maybe you don't know, since I sent you away. I can't believe you escaped from that, frankly, your DM sucks. Anyway, no one knows who... or what
... the Knights of Armek are, or what they want. All we know is that they killed a lot of people and destroyed Greyhelm. I know a few secrets about them, but you know what? I'm not going to tell you, because if I tell you, then you'll just kill me. If you want to learn the secrets, you have to let me live! Let me walk out of here and I'll drop the spell on Brogg when I'm safe in the owlbear factory. Sponsored by your
church, Brogg, I'll have you know. Yes, it's true. The Church of Grisbane has accepted owlbears into their faith, and is now based out of my owlbear factory! I bet you want to know the story behind that, heh heh."
"I really don't know where I sent you guys. All I know is that the mirror was supposed to send you far away and put you to sleep for thousands of years. The Oracle, huh? Well isn't that interesting. And I have no idea what the 'Crystal G' is. Sounds like a wonderful magical jewel or something. I'd offer to take a look at it for you if I wasn't at 0 hp, on my knees, with a monk about to rip my head off, and if I didn't hate you back equally."
Vrill is quick to addend that last part. "But come on! Hate doesn't equal murder! I bet you guys hate all sorts of things, do you really have to murder everything you hate? That's not a very nice philosophy. Not very ethical, huh Dave and Brogg, is it? Unless you worship the god of murder, which I know you don't."
"Now, I'd appreciate it if you'd untie my apprentice, let me up, and let me, my daughter, and my apprentice take our horse and get out of here. You have my word I won't try to hurt or kill you unless you come after me first. I'm just going to hole up at the Vrill and Co. Owlbear Factory and Church of Grisbane. Maybe someday, we can even attend a Grito social event at the same location, or let you work with me to defeat the Knights of Armek. Maybe. How about it?" Vrill tries, weakly, to remove Marivhon's hands from his neck and to stand up.
Dave, Fist of Odin
So, it seems like we're at a standoff. I mean, me and Brogg are voting for letting Vrill the ChoadSmoker (coming soon to a theatre near you! Gregory Vrill is: The Choad Smoker.) . . . .
Ummm . . . oh. Brogg and DFoF are in favor of letting Vrill live, Cinder and Marivhon vote thumbs down. Seems like a tie, there.
And I tell you what, Vrill - begging like a little girl (no offense, Abbey) isn't particularly helping your case with me. You know what I'm saying? Why should we let you live?
Apprentice Steve - you stay the hell out of this for now. As a matter of fact: Hold Person on Apprentice Steve, just to be sure. Then I'll tie him up.
But what to do about Vrill? Rob - I take a moment to look deep, deep within my faith, and ask myself What Would Odin Do? But knowing Odin - and if anyone knows Odin, it's me - he's not going to answer that. Hmmm.
Well, I'd like to know who the Knights of Armek are. And I'd like Vrill to dispel the Polymorph on Brogg, but I don't know if he can. And I'd like to know more about that weird dimension place we went to, with the spooky house and the Oracle and Crystal G.
And mostly I'd like to know from Vrill what his plans are - why we should let him walk away from this?
And hey - when I asked Abbey how she's doing, did she answer me, or seem to recognize me, or anything? She's freaking me out a little bit.
He's Assistant Secretary In The Union Now Too
Vrill seems shocked. "Mike the zombie? What about when you guys killed my wife and daughter? Not to mention all my dogs... Jesus! I mean, come on! At least Mike the zombie is now a functioning, productive member of normal society. Before that, what was he? A low-level THIEF! A THIEF! Now he's got a job
, he's part of a workforce
. Or he was until you wrecked my farm. Again. And is Mike really that different from before? Have you ever asked Mike if maybe, just maybe, he's happier this way? On the right
side of the law? Have you ever asked yourself if maybe, just maybe, you're on the wrong
side? Besides, now you know it's true. The Knights of Armek came, just I like I told you, and just like I was trying to fix, until you guys came along. Now I'm the only one with the knowledge, the power, and the foresight... I'm the only one who can stop them. Kill me, and doom the world, go ahead you sick bastards! No, wait... don't go ahead. Please, please, please don't kill me!"
"Damn straight, Brogg. Damn straight."
Craw Skreek Skreek, Craw Craw Craw, Craw Skreek, Craw, Craw Skreek Craw, Skreek Skreek, Skreek Craw Skreek Skreek, Skreek Craw Skreek Skreek, Skreek Skreek Skreek Craw, Skreek Craw Skreek, Skreek Skreek, Skreek Craw Skreek Skreek, Skreek Craw Skreek Skreek, Craw Skreek Craw, Craw Skreek, Skreek Skreek, Craw Craw Skreek, Skreek Skreek Skreek Skreek, Craw, Skreek Skreek Skreek, Craw Craw Craw, Skreek Skreek Craw Skreek, Skreek Craw, Skreek Craw Skreek, Craw Craw, Skreek, Craw Skreek Craw!
Cinder shifts back into himself and draws his swords.
"You're gonna have to do better than that Vrill. Why don't you explain to your young apprentice and daughter exactly how our friend Mike died. Then after you do that, you can try and change my mind. Start talking...unless, of course, you've said all it is you want to say."
Cinder looks at Dave, FoO.
"I think Apprentice Steve may need to be pwned. Not killed, mind you. But definitely some pwnage is called for. You saw his blog, right?"
It's Getting Tense
Vrill begins to cry.
He sobs and says "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE OH GOD NO!"
Apprentice Steve yells "DON'T DO IT GUYS!!!!"
'Abbey' stands there motionless, eyes wide.
That's Eagle for: Freedom isn't free.
I land on Vrill's head, and as much as an Eagle can, I stay Marivhon's hand.
I grap Vrill's head and get read to twist.....
There's Something About Abbey
Something that's not quite right at least.
The girl walks from the horse until she's about fifteen yards away from you guys. But it's not Abbey, really. Well, it's hard to say. The girl you murdered in Vrill's barn, you only saw for a little bit, a long time ago, in the dark. Then her rotting head floated around with you. But you think that the Abbey you killed, who was in your party, had medium-length wavy brown hair, while this Abbey has long, straight blonde hair. And the eyes and nose are different. Yeah, you're pretty sure this isn't the same girl you killed. Which, a priori, makes a lot of sense.
She's also not reacting the way you'd expect a daughter to react when her father is mortally wounded and surrounded by four potential murderers. In fact, she's oddly without affect, just sort of staring, expressionless, at the lot of you. Sure, it's a strange sight, sort of Disney-gone-horribly-wrong, with an eagle, owlbear, half-elf, and priest. But there you have it.
Apprentice Steve, however, sure is the same guy. He comes to his senses and yells: "MASTERVRILL!!! NOO!!!!"
I vote he's toast. He isn't a good guy. Neither are we.
"Abbey... come give your father a hug goodbye."
Dave, Fist of Odin
I'm a bit amazed. I'll give Cinder a potion so he can join the discussion. BR 5, so Cinder's at 6.
Ummm . . . I dunno, guys. I'm willing to live-n-let-live here - I mean, we've really fucked Vrill over pretty hard-core, all in all, and I think we're kinda the bad-guys here.
I've got no problem with that, being, you know, the Fist of Odin, and not the Bleeding-Heart of Odin (and really, aren't you glad? I mean - eew!) But still.
"Hey Abbey - how are you? What's going on?"
Oh - but apprentice Steve, I say we hurt him. I say we hurt him bad.
The Thrilling Climax!
It's come to this... You have to make an important choice here. What will you do?
Okay, given the init rolls and beyond, here's what happens:
First off, you notice coming down the road towards you, from the direction Vrill was heading in, a single horse galloping at high speed. On it are two individuals... you recognize Apprentice Steve, and on the back is a young girl!
Anyway, Dave FoO wins init and casts Aid. Cinder double claws Vrill, hurting him severely; down to 0 hp! Vrill swigs a potion and steps back from the owlbear, screaming at you so bad that spittle froth lands on your powerful fur. "IT ENDS HERE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU DIRTY LITTLE FUCK!" Raving, he magic missiles you for 14 hp. Way I've counted, that brings you down to exactly 0 hp also.
As he prepares another spell, the combined might of Dave FoO and Brogg the Eagle knock Vrill back down to 0.
Out of potions, Vrill's sort of stuck there; casting would drop him to -1 anyway. That's when Apprentice Steve and the girl get within hearing range. The girl shouts "Daddy!"
In the snow and dirt of the new road to the old temple of Zelba, Gregory Vrill is down on his knees before you. Bleeding badly out of a gut wound, a mace wound, and a claw scrape below his left eye, the once-mighty Guildmaster of the Grito Potion Guild and Burghermeister of Grito has been humbled before you. Vrill says "Stay back Abbey! You don't want to see this!"
Vrill then looks at each of you and says "So what's it gonna be? Are you going to murder me here, in front of my daughter, in cold blood?"
Apprentice Steve stares in disbelief, mouth wide open, still in the saddle. Abbey leaps off the horse to the ground, looks around, and says quietly "I knew this was the place.
And so, the January snow beginning to fall all around you, an owlbear, an eagle, and a fist of Odin (and maybe a monk) surround Gregory Vrill, ex-MPG, and must decide whether or not to take his life.
What will you do?
Dave, Fist of Odin
I charge Vrill - Aided and all, swinging my mace in his motherfuckin' face.
Maybe I should save such l33t rhymz for our victory raps.
Anyway - here's a BR: 14, plus one for the AID, which hits AC 3. BR damage says 5, which is 8 points (Aid's just a bless and temp HP, right? So no damage or init bonuses? That's how it rolls with Odin, but I just want to make sure. I also get that sweet +1 vs. fear effects!)
Upshot - if Vrill is AC 3 or worse, he's taking 8 points (and I tied him on init).
For the next round, I roll a 6 for init, a 13 to hit (AC 4), and BR 2 for damage (5 more points).
Let me know how things play out. I really hate this cocksucker Vrill.
Jeez already. I roll a 5, +1 for dex. Man, I just posted yesterday.
Now check this out everybody, cause it could be sweet depending on how I roll.
Potion of polymorph lets me change forms as many times as I like for the duration of the potion (It's in the DMG, I already checked).
Cinder yanks his sword out of Vrills gut and walks around to face him. "Sorry Greg. I got two claws and a bite that say it all ends here." With that, Cinder transforms himself into the shape of an Owlbear, and...
BR:18, BR:15 BR:4(damn. bite missed)
Damage:= 1 and 2. That's 3 total.
Hmm. I hope that's enough to drop him. That's the problem with one-liners. They kind of suck if you don't follow it up with the goods. I typed the speech first and told myself I wouldn't erase it no matter how I rolled. Either way, Vrill's still got a fuckin owl-bear up on his jock.
Hurry Up And Wait
Okay, we'll give Cinder a couple of days here to roll init and go. If he's a no-show, we'll just assume he lost initiative and proceed accordingly.
I'm not sure whats going on...I'm in my roomates room and he wants it back. If I'm there I attack. Br 6. If I miss out on the nest round let's just say I attack. Br 8. ok thats that.
Skreeeek! Skreeee! Caaaaaaaw!
That's Eagle for: I dive on Vrill, claw out his eyes and bite his nose.
MM2 says that I get 1-2/1-2/1-2. BRs:13,4,8. That 13 hits AC:5, for 1 point of damage. Claw to the eye!
Oh, that's a 3 for initiative.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Okay. I roll a 5 for initiative. I chug another healing potion - and let me go ahead and roll these hp:
BR 2 for 3 (earlier) and BR 6 for 7(this round) for 10 hp. I believe that now I'm at 10.
Then as I charge over I give myself AIDS. Oops - I mean, an Aid spell - BR 5 for 7 more hp, plus that bless.
He's going down so hard.
And here I was, logging on to give the update given Brogg's and Dave FoO's posts, about to have the PCs head back to Shady Orchards.
Okay Brogg and Dave FoO, you guys begin to head back, when all of a sudden, you see tree roots climb up from the road and drag Vrill's horse down. Vrill himself tumbles off the horse, cursing violently, and begins to stand up and cast when Cinder backstabs the hell out of him again.
It's safe to say that Gregory Vrill is getting pretty damn sick and tired of being backstabbed for X3 damage.
He shrieks like a girl as Cinder's blade comes out of his stomach. Vrill's no wimp though. Hurt bad, he's still alive, and whirls around, screaming: "Okay you sick dirty bitch! Okay then, initiative! BITE ME!"
We'll roll initiative, as 1) it's been problematic in the past, and 2) this is likely to be a very important round. Roll a d6 and add DX if applicable. Vrill has a 4. Beat that and go.
Cinder's got a few rounds here. The reason you don't know what's up is cause he's invisible! Just read the posts.
So here it is.
When Cinder spots Vrill taking off on his horse, Cinder reaches into his pack, pulls out his potion of polymorph (kind of ironic, since that happened to Brogg), and chugs it, healing 1d12. BR:10. Nice.
Originally, Cinder was gonna morph into a crow and overtake Vrill, but upon seeing Brogg as an eagle, Cinder chooses that instead, for solidarity (albeit an invisible eagle). Now, unless I am mistaken, Vrill only really had maybe one round on Cinder cause Cinder was actively looking for Vrill. Cinder's plan is to fly over to Vrill, land invisibly on the back of his horse, and morph back into Cinder for the suprise backstab of all time. Let me know if I need to make a dex check or something to land. BR:13 if I do.
Can I do this before he gets to the Collie Farm?
And a stab in the back: BR:16 before magic and invisible bonuses.
Damage = 7x3 = 21.
"Take that fucker."
P.S. I refuse to be storylined talking to Gregolas. I'm invisible, so that wouldn't even happen, and Brogg is in chase too as we speak. Don't cheese me on this. But if I do lose a couple of rounds from not posting, then I do have a backup plan. It is to chug the potion of plant control first, making the grass and brush trip and grab the horse's feet, and same with Vrill when he falls and to hold him there, in order to buy a bit of time to then do the above action. If the range is too far, then I'll just fly over to catch up just enough, then do the plant control and proceed from there.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Hmm. Well, perhaps Brogg no longer speaks human, or maybe he's just messing with the poor, easily confused Fist of Odin. 'Screech twice for yes, let's get him?' I ask, as Brogg the Eagle flies back to the farm. Dave, Fist of Odin handles mixed messages poorly, you know. "So, umm . . . what?"
Well, fuck it. Ahem . . . .
Yeah I'm Dave
Odin's motherfucking Fist
And I'm here to tell you
That we just got dissed
Vrill's getting paid
He's got mad game
Even though in the day
He's been hella lame
Brogg used to be a half-orc
And a priest of Grisbane
But now he's an eagle
Soaring high, feeling pain
And there's Marivhon
He's the monk who could
Now he's lootin, now he's sellin'
Now he's back in the hood
Yo - what happened to you?
You were passing out the damage
Now you're watching Scooby Do?
Well me, I'm riding
But I'm here all alone
So I'm gonna go back
To where we used to call home
We came we saw we conquered
You know we beat Vrill's trap
But I guess I could use
Some cold 40s and a nap
What's my name?
Fist of Odin!
Yeah I'm Dave, Fist of Odin
But I'm tired and I'm thirsty
So Vrill can go get pissed.
Skreeeeek! Skreeeeeeeek! Crawwwww! Skreeeeek! Skreeeeee!
I fly back to Shady Orchards and perch on Zombie Mike the Scarecrow.
I then quietly appreciate the irony.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Hmmm. No, I'm afraid I don't speak Eagle.
"What? Ummm . . . should we get him? How about - screech twice for yes, once for no."
"Oh - and whatever happens, I'll get a dispel magic again tomorrow, so if you want to change back, umm . . . well, I don't know if that'll work, actually. But Dave, Fist of Odin is nothing if not optimistic!"
I fly over an land on Dave, Fist of Odin's horse.
Skreeeeek! Craaaw. Skreeeeeek!
I hope that he knows what that means...
Dave, Fist of Odin
Let's take stock of Dave, Fist of Odin's life and how things are going for him.
Half his party has skedaddled - including the person who was most effective against Vrill (invis and double damages - the ass-kick awards goes to Cinder).
His one companion is now a no-spell-casting eagle. A big eagle, sure, but not, say, a half-orc priest.
Vrill has proven to have fourth circle spells. Maybe he's down to only firsts and seconds, sure, but maybe not. DFoF has only firsts and seconds - and no more cures.
Speaking of cures, DFoF has 2+1 potion worth of HP. That's not very many, especially when his buddy is a giant eagle - not so good with, say, pouring a potion down someone's throat.
His armor is slightlly broken and in need of repair.
The last time he went up against some guy like this, one of his own party members fire-breathed him into unconciousness.
You know what? Normally, Dave, Fist of Odin would go charging right in. But what the hell. I look to the skies, to see the Eagle, and I look back to see if there's a monk or a thief charging behind to say stop, and I'm leaving this decision up to the party. Giant Eagle, Cinder, Marivhon?
But, ummm - give me a couple of rounds to drink a couple healing potions if we're going in, okay?
Oh, right, sorry, forgot to mention that sure enough, in the barn, you find four horses.
You might be needing those, too, because don't forget- training takes not only time but $$ also. You'll need 300 gp for 3rd level, plus 400 gp for 4th level, plus 150 gp and/or 200 gp for special training for 3rd and 4th. That's a total of 1050 gp for it all, and given your CON, I'd strongly suggest getting the cash for the special training.
(Cinder, at least, has a shitload of cash, so you can maybe borrow some from him or something.)
You find your flask and shuriken. Gregolas takes the pipe. "Heh heh. Let's find out what that old fart was into." He first pulls out a Han-D-Wipe and wipes the pipe thoroughly clean. "Yeah kid, I found a stash of potions. There's like eight potions in here. We'll get the 411 in Durth I guess. It's kind of weird... wasn't Vrill kicked out of the Potion Guild? For a guy who got locked out, he's still really into potions. That guy was like the canonical creepy SOB. Canonical
," he says again for emphasis.
No shit. 2 and a 1. got my stuff back. Rob I take everything. I load it up on horses, which you didn't mention me finding any more of, are there any?. I give Vrills pipe to Gregolas. d6 for other stuff and will check. 5 and an 8. Ah well. "Hey Greg see if you can find anything else laying around." I'll be leaving soon....
Oh Yeah, And...
Let's wait to get you right in Durth until we know more about what the rest of the party is doing. Rather than just fastforward two months in Marivhon's life while the others are still going round-for-round...
Gregolas Has A Lot On His Mind
Okay, Marivhon heads back to the farm. It's easy to find your way back; one, there's now a trail, and two, there's some smoke. You can find your ninja star and flask on a WI check or a 1-2 on a d6 for each.
Returning to the farmhouse, you pass Greetles, who's outside, just staring at the smouldering remains. You invite him to Durth, but he seems in shock. Doesn't look at you, just stares straight ahead, and shakes his head 'no'.
Inside the house, Gregolas has already begun the process of looting. You find on the Blackwalls a total of two sets of leather armor, two daggers, two short swords, two sets of thieves tools, one flask of poison, one potion, and change: 56 gp, 45 sp, and 3 cp.
There's some other stuff to be had, depending on how much stuff you want to carry on the trek to Durth. There's Vrill's fine china. There's a nice statuette of an owl. There's a smoking jacket and Vrill's pipe. And go ahead and roll a d6 and make a WI check to find other stuff.
You gather up the five border collies that didn't flee.
You ask Gregolas if he wants to go to Durth. "Sure thing dude, as long as I don't have to wash any more fucking dishes. Been meaning to go for a while now. Durth is kind of wack nowadays, with the whole Monks of Progress, giving us Grisbanes shit, all that, so we might have to play it cool. Anyway, I gotta swing by Electronics Boutique when we're there. I ordered this crazy import game like... shit, like almost a year ago. Christmas gift from me to me, know what I'm saying? It's called Holocaust Selector
. It's this fucked-up Korean import. You play a DJ... pretty cool, huh? Anyway, you're a DJ and you go around rocking parties and killing zombies, because North Korea- wherever that is- dropped all these atomic zombie bombs and turned 99% of the world into zombies. It's like you go to a store to upgrade your turntables or sneakers, spin fat mixes, totally kick some zombie ass. It's like Parappa the Rapper
or something. I've been waiting to hook it up for-ever
now. But that prick Vrill took away the Gamecube and Charmed me, made me his dish-washing bitch. It totally fucking sucked. Can you comprehend how fucking sucky that was? It was beyond sucking, it was like the utter fucking Black Hole of sucking. He was all like 'We don't have time to play Gamecube with the Knights of Martek around! I can't concentrate with all those bleeps and bloops and studies say games rot your mind and promote violence, blah blah.' And then, you know what? Check this out, it's unbelieveable. So check it out, right? I'm supposed to deliver the morning coffee to this fucker. And I walk in on him. He's totally playing Animal Crossing
on the Gamecube. Mother-fricking Animal Crossing
. The guy is a total, gross pay before tax, total faggot. I mean, of course I don't have anything against gay dudes- you want to be gay? Cool man, go be gay
. Do that thing. I used to buy from this gay dude, he was alright. I mean, it ain't my thing, right? But I'm not like 'down with homosexuals' and stuff. But Vrill is just a fucking faggot. You can be gay and not be a fucking faggot, know what I mean? Anyway, yeah, I'm good to go. Uh, you sure got a lot of dogs there, yo. 'Let's hit the fucking road!'
Shit that was a good movie. I'm totally psyched to hook up the Holocaust Selector
Off you go.
Btw, I'm heading there to train. If Ronald Greetles wants to come he's welcome to. Please excuse the spelling errors in the previous post.
Fine screw it. I go back to Shady Orchards loot the dead Blackwalls for everything they've got, as well as anything else I can take. Be it paintings or boxes of Collie food. If there are leases then I take his dogs too if I can. I loot the farm as thouroughly as I can. I take as many horses as possible along with Gregolas if he wants to hit the road and chill. I pick up my flask and ninja star if I can find them both. I smoke some Gregolas special blend and listen to the birds sing on my way to Durth with all the treasure I can carry on as many horses and I can get away with. I tell the party they can follow me or I'll meet them at a place of their appointment.
Second Verse, Same As The First
Okay, you run, ride, and fly after Gregory Vrill.
But maybe not all of you. Gregolas comes out on the porch, stretches, sighs, nods his head. "Yup Cinder, it's been one of those days bro." He sits down on a rocker next to Cinder and considers the setting sun. Pulls out some rolling papers and carefully, thoughtfully, rolls a fat spliff. Takes a toke and passes it to Cinder. "You know what would really just make this? I mean, you know, fucking make this
"Hot dogs. Hot dogs dude. And a cold one. After a hard day of work, it's cool just to kick back with a brew, sit on your porch, you know, just chill. Chillax
, as they say. I know you're feeling me here Cinder my man."
Cinder and Gregolas enjoy the remains of the day on their rockers.
Meanwhile, the PCs hurtle into the wilderness after their arch-nemesis! The direction you're taking begins to look familiar... sure enough, you seem to be headed back to the Temple of Zelba where this all began! After about ten minutes of chasing Vrill along a fresh trail, you see a sign up ahead.Vrill and Co. Owlbear FarmsWe make owlbears right.1 km on the right, tours M-F 10-4
You are apparently headed back to Vrill's new owlbear factory unless you can stop him first!
Now the question is, do you really want to fight Vrill and lots of owlbears? That would probably not go so well, and probably make Marivhon even angrier that he's fighting not just a 4th circle wizard but lots of 5+2 HD creatures to boot. And no one wants some more angry Marivhon posts, do they? And you know, in general, your general plan of "Follow Vrill wherever he goes!" hasn't been overly successful in the past now, has it? I mean, if Gregory Vrill jumped off a bridge would you do it too? Huh? Would you?Gregory Vrill is about to jump off that bridge. That owlbear bridge.
That's Eagle for: I fly after Vrill.