I'll save you, Renwick! It's my two-attack round!
BRs:13,16. That's two connections for 22 points! Praise
Ok, I made that save from a while ago. BR's to hit
miss rnd 1. hit on the fumble ac 4 for 6 hps.
miss rnd 2 ac 6 if hits 3 pts.
miss rnd 3.
if I get to rnd 4 then I hit ac 0 for 9 pts
Gotta Catch At Least One
Okay Renwick, you burn Marivhon's Kuo-Toa for 1 and your Kuo-Toa for 2 hp. It then mancatches you! You cannot move, take 1d3 pts of damage a round, and have a -2 on all checks! You can break out on a ST check at -2, one try per round. Of course, since you only have 1 hp, at the top of the next round, you take 1 hp, putting you at 0. So sorry.
Brogg, you smack the Kuo-Toa on Renwick for 11. He's looking bad, but laughs evilly and continues his magecatching!
Right dex checks. Br's 8 and 17. So a total of 3pts. Save is a nine. I don't even remember if I need high or low saves in 1e.
Alright, I've got another attack for the walking cod
BR:18. That's 11 points. One Fillet O' Fish
Ooh, I hope that we win a fishing pole.
God those mancatchers
Okay Renwick, burned. Yeah, buuuurned
. You burn a Kuo-Toan for 2 hp with your two spells. For each spell, make a DX check at half, and if you make it you can get two Kuo-Toans. If you botch (nat 20), you burn a PC instead. Lemme know how that goes.
But wait, hold on, Kuo-Toans hate mages just like the rest of us. One of them turns on you and mancatches you for... 2 hp! Make a save vs. paralyzation. Go ahead and make those two DX checks first, as that resolves before any mancatching.
Dave FoO, you finish off your Kuo-Toan this round also. Good idea about that bear armor. It might slow your movement rate down though. Not that bears don't move fast, they do
. It's just that coordinating the directed movements of four equidistantly placed bears might be problematic.
Just two more to go... a wounded Kuo-Toan left- note that I'm saying neither Frogman nor Fishman here- on Cinder, and everyone's waiting breathlessly for the battle between Marivhon and the last Kuo-Toan! Actually, I'll say that Renwick burned the one on Marivhon, so by round two, he's no longer exclusively on Marivhon.
Please god just finish this. This arena may be a PCs dream but it's not exactly exacting much of my creative powers. Just as well, really.
Dave, Fist of Odin
P-lyze save? 12. No Problem.
To hit roll? 14. That hits AC 3. If so, I do 7 points damage, and the fish-man - oops, I mean the FROG-man - saves or loses AC. Actually, dude has to do that last round, too.
Rob - do you want me to keep saying 'save or lose AC'? 'Cuz I can, no problem. Actually, never mind. I'm just going to. Even if we're attacking, like, bears, who don't wear armor, and you tell me several times that they don't wear armor - the next time I smack a bear up, I'm still going to mention the armor save. 'Cuz you never know with them bears - they're tricky, and might put on a helmet or some greaves or something between rounds.
I think a bear-based armor system would be pretty rad, actually. That's going to be my next NWP - bear-based armor. It'll involve having several bears that surround me at all times, and if someone gets all up in it with me, the bears'll fuck the dude UP.
Oh. Next round, I roll a 12 to hit - hits AC 5. If so, I do 5 points damage, and there's an armor save. If I need another P-lyze save, it's 16, which makes it handily.
I'm going to blast these frogs with two burning hands. If I can scorch two in one round I will.
Please Buy A Painting
Okay Cinder, you rake up a bit more damage on your Kuo-Toa. Kuo-Toa
. Not fishman. Not like a carp with arms and weapons and stuff. A noble race of aquatic humanoids.
But it's not enough to finish him! Hit with the mancatcher again for 4 hp! Make another save vs. paralyzation, Monkey Man
Brogg, whiff the third round, but you kill the Kuo-Toa on you in the top of the fourth round.
Ha. Another critical. As it should be...as it should be.
So round II:
Hit AC 0 and a miss. That's 4 points of damage.
Critical fumble: miss twice.
"Hey Dave, Fist of Odin! Pass me the Tartar Sauce!" Uh..Cinder doesn't really say that either.
Here's my round III:
Hit once for 6 damage.
Alright, Monitor. BR:12 for my save. That makes it.
Broadsword to his gulliver
! BR:5. Damn it.
Okay, next round: BRs:18,4. That's a hit for 14 points of damage! Prepare to meet Blibdoolpoolp
You know, this arena is sort of a PC's dream: 10'x10' room, Orc and a treasure chest.
The Fishmen Will Feast On YOU
Brogg misses. Cinder hits for a bit, but the kuo-toa looks okay. Dave FoO hits for a lot, but you don't amputate, because the kuo-toa is still up and running! Bleeding badly though.
Next round. (Still have Marivhon, Marivhon on the critical fumble, and Renwick for Round 1.)
Brogg hits the monitor, but he still looks okay. The monitor smacks you back twice, for a total of 6 more hp dmg! Plus make another save vs. paralyzation against his stunning strike!
Cinder, god damn it, another fucking critical fumble, that is so weak, blogroll stinks.
Dave FoO, hit, make a save vs. paralyzation and you also take 6.
Marivhon hit, make a save vs. paralyzation and you take a massive 1 hp dmg.FEAST ON YOU.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Actually, I am kinda hungry for some frog legs, so if Cinder isn't saying it, I will.
Yum! I forgot the batter, so we'll just have 'em fried in whiskey.
Save, BR 10 - makes it. Clerics have good saves.
To hit, BR 20. Damage, BR 5, for 16 points.
I'd like to amputate with that roll, if I can. Cleanly, so as not to spoil the meat.
"Who's in the mood for froglegs?" Cinder asks as he draws his swords and attacks. He doesn't really say that.
Hit AC:7 and negative something. Well, The hit is for 6 points of damage.
I get 2000 copper. That's it. I throw it up in the air and yell Yay
A Monitor Kuo-Toa
BR:13 for my save. Ha! That totally makes it!
Make a save vs. broadsword, Tuna
Ok, next round, BRs:4,14. That's one hit for 14 points.
Level IV Fishman Battle... Begin!
Okay Brogg, in the chest are:
80% chance of 1d6 X 1000 copper
60% chance of 1d6 X 1000 silver
50% chance of 1d4 X 1000 gold
20% chance of 1d4 X 1000 electrum
10% chance of 1d4 X 1000 platinum
5% chance of 1d10 gems
Have fun with 12 blogrolls.
The trident summons Kuo-Toa! Everyone's in again, I suppose. That equals four kuo-toa, including one kuo-toan monitor who's a badass in green and black monk robes. The other three kuo-toa carry mancatchers.
Brogg, since you started this off, the monitor goes for you. One hit for 6 hp, make a save vs. paralyzation.
Cinder, Dave FoO, and Marivhon, mancatchers on you all. Marivhon critical fumble. Dave FoO hit! You take 3 hp and also make a save vs. paralyzation!
Alright, I take the wooden chest. What's in it?
Time for the Trident
! That's statue IV. Bring it Fightmaster!
Level I Treasure
Okay, Marivhon you grab the halberd. Later, you attack the orc and miss. Whatever the halberd is, it doesn't grant you +4 to hit I guess.
Brogg, you disintegrate the last orc. The Fightmaster announces that the combat is over.
Three things again appear on the altar. You can have one. A small wooden chest, a small burlap sack, and a large leather pouch.
You then take another day to rest up, heal to full, and recover all spells. Cross off that extra day of food.
So I suppose that there is one wounded Orc
He tastes my two-attack round. BRs:16,11. That's two hits for 20 points of damage.
I do a cool spin move.
Then I Cure Light Renwick for 6.
Alright now, if there is something that Renwick can use, let's get it for him.
Well, I guess I take the nifty Halberd and then attack an orc with it. hit ac 10 for 3 plus any bonii.
Orc To Go
Okay Dave FoO, you take down your orc this round, and kill Renwick's next round.
What can Marivhon do?
Dave, Fist of Odin
BR 15, hits AC 3. BR 4 for 7 points damage.
I vote we take the halberd, but you know, I've got my mace and my armor and I'm like fonzie with that.
And if there is a next round, I BR an 11, which hits AC 6. BR 3 for 6 points damage, if it comes up.
Before I Blow This Bitch Like We Down In Waco
Brogg decimates his orc.
Cinder knocks out his orc.
Renwick preps with Mage Armor, drops his staff on the ground, and gets stuck for 6 hp, putting him down to -3 and dropping. That's the way we roll.
Two PCs left, three orcs still alive. Mike the zombie gets back to his book.
I cast mage armor the round before we bring the orcs.
The only way I'm gonna one round an orc is if I blog roll a 20 so here goes. I attack BR 1 critical fumble. Awsome.I'm a mage
not a fighter or theif
Hand to hand combat
brings the pain and the greif
If they put me down
I'll only feel relief
caus mages ain't for brawlin
these orcs will leave me maudlin
Bonus prize for doing it in one round? Sorry guys. I'm a thief, not a fighter.
Anyway, here are my attacks for round 1, including my orc's criticle fumble.
Miss and hit AC 1 for 6 damage, and the crit attacks hits for 2 more damage. That's 8 total.You come swingin on my homies, each one individual
That's when you critical
Retaliation for this will not be minimal
I stick 'em, flip 'em, trick 'em
and they be slippin in tha blood spill
from the path I chose
I cut ya from ya step-child grin to ya toes
Steal ya clothes
Check ya purse, -gimme those
What? No GPs? You an Orc for sure bro!
Alright, I chop my Orc, BR:20. No shit. That's 22 points of damage, chummer
Taste the Fury of Grisbane!!
Wait A Sec... No, Nevermind, Let's Just Go
Remember that you don't get to divvy up these items. The entire party gets one item from the altar, total. One item total per fight. That's the scenario. Whoever picks first, the two other objects disintegrate.
While you guys are deciding about the magic item, let's just go ahead and take care of the Level I fight. It's orcs! One orc per combatant. I'll assume everyone's in, with each to their orc.
So here's some orc attacks.
Brogg, hit for 3 hp.
Cinder, critical fumble.
Marivhon, hit for 4 hp.
Beautiful. I predict good things for this combat. Can you guys do it in one round? If you can, there's a bonus prize. How 'bout that.
Ok, my spells are updated.
Who took what item?
Alright, after we all have a good rest, I bring the Fightmaster
the simple spear. That's statue I. Let's see if we can't get something that Renwick can use.
I'd try the spellbook, but that's VIII. The VI ninjas
almost did us in...
Okay Marivhon, you kill the final ninja. Dave FoO's last badger disappears, and the Fightmaster says some stuff. Three weapons appear on the altar: a pair of nunchuks, a halberd, and a ring. Pick one.
Why don't we say three days pass and everyone's healed to full? Pick new spells y'all. And take 600 xp each. Everyone cross off three days food and water. Because you remembered to buy that, right?
I hit ac -1 for 6 hps and next round I hit ac 1 for 5 points of damage all with the Halberd.
Ninja Cleanup On Aisle Two
Cinder, the ninja continues his thief ruination by doing 12 hp dmg to you this round. That puts you down to -1 by my count. Oof!
Brogg: -4 hp out of 27 hp
Cinder: -1 out of 26 hp
Dave FoO: 27 out of 39 hp
Marivhon: 7 out of 17 hp
Mike 1K: doin good
Renwick: not so good (-9 hp out of 3)
Badger team: one badger left
The last ninja: still truckin. Turns to Marivhon to clean up that mess before finally focusing on the FoO.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Well, I guess I've been having a conversation with Mike for the last couple of rounds.
If I had it to do over, I would give Brogg a 2d8+3 potion, and CLW on Renwick, and then attack a ninja - but, you know. What the hell.
So anyway. I attack the last ninja. Huzzah! BR 16, hits AC 1. BR 5, doing 8 points damage.
Then I attack again, BR 12, hitting AC 5. If that hits, I BR 2 for 5 more points.
That oughta hold me for a bit.
Cinder stands up over Renwick's body and draws both swords, charging the last ninja.
BR: 7 and 3.
Well, Renwick Didn't Die
Okay Marivhon and Cinder, you guys hit the last ninja pretty hard. Then Cinder bandages Renwick at -9 hp. The ninja gets two rounds, and decides that Cinder's backstab wasn't too cool. Ninja misses, then gets a hit when you do the bandaging... he ninja-tos you for 5 hp!
Can you guys finish him off?
I slap a Ninja...
"wake up buddy!" CNTRL+ALT+DEL. HRM. repeat.
Gurrgle... Gurrgle... Gasp......... Wheeze.......................
Next round I'm gonna bandage Renwick. Don't want him turning into a black cloud...