Hey, Cinder, I need a thief up here!

Dave, Fist of Odin, you have a torch and a fire kit. How about lighting that puppy up before we get eaten by a Grue?

While I wait for Cinder, I am going to take a good look around those bedrooms, under the cots, in the chamber pots...
Ok, I try to start a fire in the fireplace with whomever is best at helping. I break up the bookshelves in the room and take the curtains to get torches ready if we need them.
I meditate upon the meaning of my new fire.....
  Upstairs And Outside
Marivhon examines the window while Brogg checks upstairs.

Up the stairs is a short hallway with three doors, two of them partially ajar. These two doors are marked 'Guest Room L' and 'Guest Room R', and open into small, sparsely furnished rooms. Each has two simple beds; cots, really. There is a chamberpot under each and one chair in each room.

The third door is marked 'Master Bedroom' and is locked.

The curtains and shutters open traplessly. It seems to be night time as it is pitch black outside. You can't make out anything through the window, almost as if the window itself was painted black. (Which it isn't.) You also can see your own reflection, darkly shaded, in the glass from the light spell.

You figure that you have about five to ten more minutes of light from this spell.
I keep my eyes open and follow whomever is doing something. I would like to open that shuttered window to see if we are above or below ground. I check it for traps 41%, eh I cross my fingers.
Oh oh, I call dibs on the clockwork bird!

Hey, is there a trophy case around here with a fine elvish sword? Hey, that would be great against Leuco!

Grisbane's eyes, where the hell are we?!

Ok, while we have some light, let's check the upstairs. I am ready for anything here...
  A Hole In The Wall
Dave smashes the hollow-sounding wall.

You spend a few minutes smashing away at a wall apparently constructed of plaster and drywall. Quickly you reveal an opening beyond, and take some time to clear it into a passage that you can enter. The light spell reveals a white hallway, of the same plaster color and texture. The hall continues for about forty feet straight, then abruptly turns right, goes for another six feet, and ends.

Presumably you keep tapping the walls, starting at the dead end. You find another hollow-sounding section, although oddly enough, it's not at the end of the corridor. Rather, it's about eight feet before the corridor bends. Regardless, you smash another hole in the drywall.

This time, you reveal what seems to be a sitting room. The construction of this room is very different from before. The walls and floor are of fine wood. There are three bookshelves lining the walls, two of which flank a fireplace and mantle. No books on the shelves. There is what seems to be some furniture, but everything is covered by large white dustclothes- perhaps a table, a loveseat, and three chairs, but their identity is currently masked. A stout door in one wall.

At some point, I'll also presume you open the door. This leads to a small foyer- you are clearly in someone's small, two story house. A wooden staircase steeply rises to a dark hall upstairs. This staircase is paralleled by another that descends into the depths of a cellar. A side door is labeled 'Kitchen'. Another door labeled 'Closet'. A third door, quite grand in construction, is labeled 'The Outside'. Next to that door is a window, shuttered and curtains drawn. The door you have come through is labeled 'Library'.

This house is just as quiet as the strange white hallway that led to it.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I'm summoning my rage, and clobbering the weird-sounding part of the wall with my mace. Part of my rage is directed towards the other priests of Odin, who basically laid down and let the MoP bitches fuck them over. Another part is directed towards the big O himself, 'cuz I've been nothing but a faithful vessel for His stuff, and I'm wondering what's up. In a very angry kind of wondering way, of course. So if Odin's got anything to say to me, I'm going to be right here in this weird white room, banging on the wall with my mace.
sit meditate. the whole Qwigon Jinn thing before he fights the sith ya know. (punctuated somewhat, no caps, very drunk.)
Hmm. Too bad we don't have Mike the Zombie 1k's Continual Light Torch.

Alright, Dave, Fist of Odin, I would like to direct your anger to this part of the wall that seems a bit different.

And, just for the heck of it, I give it a good ol' disbelieve. -The whole lot of it.
  The Walls Of The Room
Dave taps the walls with his mace.

Dave, after tapping for a few minutes, you think that part of the wall sounds strange, lighter than in other places. A significant portion of the wall, in fact. A thorough search reveals nothing that indicates a secret door or passage however.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I start tapping - gently - on the walls with my mace. For two reasons - one, to search for any secret doors or panels, and two, to give the thinkers in the party some time to do that thing.

I do that for about 15 minutes. Then I spend 10 more minutes getting angry. I mean, filled with rage, and not like the badger. I know how angry that badger is. I mean AN GRY. I'm so far past the anger of the badger, that if the badger's anger was a line, it would look like a dot to me.

After that - well, I have some ideas for after that. But there's 25 minutes of light and shit first, if anyone has something else to do.
  Somewhere Else
Brogg casts Light.

You are in a large white room, about 20 foot square. The walls, ceiling, and floor are all white; they are seemingly made of plaster. There are no doors, windows, or other exits from this room. The room seems to be a perfect cube.

Cinder, you search the room. There is nothing of obvious value. Actually, there is nothing at all in the room except the lot of you.

The nausea begins to fade. The leopard disappears. You have about 30 minutes of Light.
Fuck.I search the room. I also do a hear noise for what it's worth. BR:28%, so the only thing I hear is probably myself cursing Vrill under my breath. Oh, by the way, nice leapard Dave. That is really something.
I could also just sit here in the dark...

This seems wrong. No warehouse? No Vrill? WTF?
I wouldn't bother trying to rewrite history, Marivhon. But, as I see it, we did get through the curtain, and you and Cinder did attack Vrill. But, for some reason that put us in this freaky dark place.

Ok, I guess that I cast Light.

I hope that Mike the Zombie 1k is ok.
OK, I do sometimes use capital letters and I use some punctuation. <-- see. Now I don't drink Gin, I drink Berenbourge when I can get it but mostly you can only get it in Holland, yes it is juniper berry based but it has 72 different flowers and herbs included with the juniper during the fermentation process, hardly a thing to simply call gin, and rarely drank by myself unfortunately. I do post drunk but I would say that at most I am drunk 50% of the time I post, at most. I think that so long as that's cleared up I find no faults in the GM's postings.

Fuck that. I move faster than Vrill and wasn't surprised... I read that he fled the room and through a curtain. I would like to go through that curtain as well. I move much faster than him. After all his shit talking I would hope he could play it straight.

If these actions cannot be realized then I am going to leave and start burning the warehouse down.....
And now for something new.

I predict that at least one or two of you will post here after this, bitching about the results of this round. Let me make a preemptive strike and say: don't bother. You got storylined. Suck it up. You have bigger problems now than to harrass the DM and make revisionist claims about what your character would or would not have done.

With that disclaimer in place, my reading of each of your actions is to rush into the room after Vrill. This includes you Dave, as you'll be moving in with the leopard to cast Aid on Brogg; Aid may be touch range, but even if not, you'll still need line of sight, which means moving past the curtain.

Vrill is apparently not surprised, as he has already fled. Apprentice Steve, of course, is surprised. Mike the zombie decides Vrill's going to be dealt with, or if he isn't, he doesn't want to be around when the fireball goes off, so he goes after APG Steve. Brother Orcsides stays back in the study also, to play defense, and because he's really more of a lover than a fighter.

Cinder and Marivhon get the biggest surprises, when their attacks pass through Vrill himself. Taking stock of the room- you're all now in a big-ass stone basement. All that seems to be in this room is a large piece of glass against the back wall... or maybe it's a mirror...

Vrill winks at you, grins evilly, and disappears. Just like that, he blinks out of existence. With that, there's a blinding white light...

Then nothing...

And you all are in darkness. You each feel ill, nauseated. Brogg and Marivhon, with infravision you can see that each of you four PCs are here, plus one radiant leopard (see below), but nothing else. No Mike, for instance. It is still Silent. Your eyes begin to adjust to the leopard's radiance, and you each see yourselves, of course, and there's a floor and ceiling, but the colors and other walls- if any- are outside the eerie glow of your lawful good friend. The floor is definitely not the stone warehouse floor you were just standing on. After a few more rounds, the leopard winks out of existence, leaving the four of you in darkness. Soon after, the silence wears off, but it is still very quiet here.

Something has gone wrong.

(After that prolonged introduction, I'd like to welcome you all to C3: Against Yourselves!, a module for characters of any level as it turns out.)
  Radiant Leopard
Radiant Leopard (Pantherinae Panthera leopardus)
Frequency: Uncommon
No. Appearing: 1
AC: 7
HD: 3+3
% In Lair: 10%
Treasure Type: Nil
Movement: 15"
# Attacks: 3
Damage: 1d6+1/1d6+1/2d6 (claw/claw/bite)
Special Abilities: radiation, rake claws
Intelligence: Animal
Alignment: Lawful good
Size: Small
Psionic Ability: Nil

The radiant leopard is your friend. He glows with an inner goodness. He would be your AA buddy for example. Similar to crazy bobcats, radiant leopards fall from the sky. Unlike the bobcat, though, the leopard doesn't float but rather lands on its feet, ready to radiate action. If both claws hit, the radiant leopard can rake for an additional automatic 1d4 damage. The radiant leopard's most fearsome ability is its intrinsic radiation: each attack that succeeds has a 1% cumulative chance of causing cancer in the target, who must make a save vs. poison or die in 3d20 years. Because of its alignment, this really breaks the leopard's heart. For this reason, radiant leopards tend to be solitary, tumor-infested creatures.
Vrill tries to flee?

Well fuck that. I backstab his ass. Does he just get to get away or do I get an attack since the room is small and we suprised him.

Well here it is anyway. I'll attack at the first opportunity.

"Your time's up bitch!" Cinder shouts (silently) as he plunges his sword into Vrill.

BR:17 after modifications (I'm giving my sword +2 since I know full well that Vrill is an 'Adventurer.'

Damage = Get this, maximum roll of 8 on a d8 motherfuckers. that's 10 points with the sword bonus x3 = 30 points of damage on that motherfucker. I pray to Odin that he doesn't have some cheesy stoneskin or something.

I then chug another potion of invisibility for this round and rinse and repeat next round.

One important thing here. Cinder's got running too, and he's not letting Vrill get away. If drinking that potion is gonna slow me down i'll skip it, cause I'm staying in Melee with Vrill no matter what. I'll be damned if I let him fireball me with his cheesy "I can shape fireballs into triangles if that's what I have to do to get the entire party and not myself" shit.
fuck it. I'm wicked fast and well hopefully that will be enough.

I run after him. I move at 16 now so I don't think he's gettin too far. I also have acrobatics as NWP and a 17 dex. BR to hit the fuck cause he ain't out running me, and I have the Silence spell on me so I got's to keep up. BR 16 to hit him as I get in front of him damage 1...I smile and say something in the silence.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I figure Vrill's gonna try to run. So we need something wicked fast, and wicked tough. Well - the leopard, she's tough. No-one's arguing that, right? I mean, bitch be CRAZY angry and shit - you thought the badger was angry? The badger looks fucking MEDICATED compared to the Radiant Leopard.

And she's not just a leopard - she's a Radiant Leopard. So she's, like, made out of LIGHT and shit. Nothing's faster than light.

Plus, my man Brogg be all Aided up on Vrill's ass. That bitch be going down.
Alright, I am after Vrill!

I silently shout something about the Glory of Grisbane.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
First off, a Third circle summon - a Radiant Leopard. Let's see what he's got. He goes after Vrill.

Then, and Aid on Brogg.

Then - if things move too quickly, and I don't post, and no-one's hurt, an angry badger.

That ouughta do it for the nonce.
  Against The Vrill, Round 0
Okay, let's do this thing.

Marivhon and Cinder, check, you guys are attempting to hide. Marivhon, Silent, and Cinder, invisible. I'll assume everyone is within 15' of Marivhon unless I hear otherwise.

No traps as you open the door. Marching order isn't really important, but feel free to chime in and tell me where you are in relation to things; it's possible that geometry may be important here. If I don't hear from you by the time things happen, I'll just decide where you are, reasonably of course. Orcsides comes on down, Gregolas will hang out outside Warehouse 713 and 'keep watch'. He lights up a spliff and says something Silently, raising his joint to you in a weird sort of 'toast'.

In you go. Light provided by Mike's torch. Big empty warehouse, well not totally empty, there are some crates. Searching for a few minutes reveals a trapdoor in the floor.

The trapdoor is locked and trapped, and Mike the zombie takes care of it (just for the sake of moving the story along here). Opens to reveal a rickety, steep, wooden staircase down.

Down you go. Short hall, door. Listening at the door... nothing. A bit of light from beneath it. You push it open...

It opens into a smallish room which seems to be a sort of living room cum workspace. There is a table covered in papers and a couple books. There's a sofa against the wall, and a curtain covering an exit out, directly across from you.

Sitting on the sofa is a young male; Cinder, you recognize this guy as the apprentice from the Potion Guild who came up to you at the science fair! He's reading a comic book and his eyes and mouth open in surprise.

He's not the only one. Standing over the table, pouring over the papers, is the one and only Master Gregory Vrill, ex-MPG. He also opens his mouth in surprise, realizes that there's a Silence going on, and flees the room into the curtain beyond...

Come on y'all... this is what you've been waiting for. Post soon.
Marivhon, what language is that?

Anyhow, let's do this. I open the door. Yes, I did. I will give you a d20 roll, just in case. BR:12.

Ok, assuming I don't explode or something, I tell Gregolas to chill out here. -Just in case Vrill is out getting his morning cup of joe. Orcsides, your coming with us.

Broadsword in hand, let's go.
find traps 30....elf vision on.....ms 68 (silenced) hs 20. bazooka...fuck.
d6 a 2. I guesss I walk in through the unlocked door.....BR 8 for whatever you want it to be for.
Cinder chugs a potion of invisibility and prepares to sneak in. He is kickin his Alertness skill and Blind fighting if need be as well.

  Warehouse 713
Mike down 2,
Marivhon down 3, and
Cinder down 4.

So, okay Marivhon, you scout around the warehouse. No obvious other exits... no windows or doors, and the walls look pretty sturdy. Roll a d6 to search for secret doors if you want.

You come back around eventually and Dave casts silence on you. Next?
Maybe we should check around quite like for an escape route first? Or ask the Blackwalls if their not far if they have any info on the area or can help contain the area....We did just get a fair amount of cash from the Caruthers and I'd hate to see Vrill get away again.
This seems like a convienent setup and the guy always has an escape......
Silence might not last so long.
I would like it though when it comes up.
I have acrobatics and move 16 so I should be able to get to him. I have 3 less hit points from a firebrand, if someone would heal that first I'd be happier. I would like to stress to the Caruthers the following. "you know why Vrill hired us right? That his daughters floating head. We could have killed you so maybe you should just say you were robbed and that you didn't see the intruders, because if you say you saw us......well you'll see us again." I menacingly ask the youngest child "do you have a girlfriend?" I wink at mr. Cauthers and look at Abby. "have a nice night"
Ok I'm set to go.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
I cast silence on Marivohn, if he wants it. His job will then be to stay really, really close to Vrill.

Silence lasts for awhile. I stay 13 feet away from Marivohn, so I'm quiet sneaking in, but can step back to summon some buddies.

Hey Rob - hit point check?
  Modus OperaYAWN
And I bet Cinder's plan of attack involves the building of suspense...

Mike the zombie decides not to wait around for other monks and thieves to check the weblog. He pulls out his good ol thieves tools and puts those zombie thief skills to work! 12%! Hot damn, zombie Mike opens the lock! Of course, he sets off the poison needle trap, takes two hp dmg, but being immune to poison, he smiles broadly and tells you that he was just the right zombie for the job!

"I... was... was... yes... got... it. Oops."

The padlock is off, the doors remain closed. It's almost dawn.
Wow, Marivhon is a genius.

A rusty padlock?! I think my man Cinder knows what to do.
  Accounting Error
Oh right, sorry Brogg, I forgot that Accounting NWP. Well, it was a code disguised as accounting, so you probably were all like "What?! These numbers just don't add up! Something funny is going on here!" And then Marivhon was like "Well, if you look at the frequency distribution of the numbers, and bootstrap to correct for the small sample size, it matches the frequency distribution of characters in natural language, so I'm guessing it's probably some sort of elementary substituition cypher. Certain patterns, such as single symbols and double symbols, can only be such-and-such characters, so we can start to narrow down the possible coding scheme etc"

Now that we got that taken care of, okay, you guys tie up Caruthers and Sons, head out, grab Dave, and head to the Warehouse District of Greyhelm, down by Lake Greyhelm. You find warehouse 713. There's a big-ass rusty padlock. Command, squires?
Wow, I am pretty bummed that I missed that accounting thing, seeing as I have a NWP in accounting...

But, alright, let's do this. Everyone is full, and we all have our spells. Let's go to Warehouse 713 before morning.

Caruthers, thanks for all of your help. The sandwiches were great. You do realize that we are going to have to tie you up now, don't you? -Nothing personal.

We use our rope to tie Willowby and his boys up and put them in the foyer. I make sure to gag them, and tie them to something heavy so that they can't roll about, maybe the banister.

Anyway, with that, we leave and go get Dave, Fist of Odin, and Aaron Orcsides and Gregolas. Were off to the docks!
  A Secret Code From Gregory Vrill!
Yeah hi sorry, I was in MI visiting Kristin. Sorry Mark and Ed, didn't come down to Rochester, really just needed some quiet time with the ladyfriend.

Anyway, let's see what's going on here.

Okay Dave, great checks! Of course, you're nowhere near any important documents or rooms to be searched. A for effort though.

Cinder, Mike the zombie sighs and pulls out a handful of jewels and a big sack of coins, and sets them on the table to Caruthers' obvious surprise.

You guys pass around the beer and sandwiches. Marivhon, you threaten to turn Caruthers into Abby's boyfriend and that's the last straw, that straw you know that broke the camel's toe? I mean, back, camel's back? He urges you to hand him some documents, but in his nervousness, he can't seem to find what he's looking for. He describes a warehouse ledger sheet with some inventory numbers on it. Marivhon, you make your IQ check and figure out what he's talking about- an accounting sheet that has some numbers on it that don't quite add up! No sir.

Instead it's a secret code from Gregory Vrill! I don't really want to get into it, that's why you just made an IQ check. Let's just say you figure out the code, and find out that Vrill is living underneath warehouse 713 in the Greyhelm docks! Caruthers swears to you that he never figured out that code, that was just a last resort document in case he had to find Vrill.

"So, uh, good luck with that. In case you ever need legal counsel, you um, know where to go. Heh heh." Maybe not a very sincere laugh.

Onto 713?
Hey Marv, could you heat my sandwich up for just about 30 seconds? Yeah, that's great. Mmm, roast beef.
I pat Cinder on the shoulder, pour Brogg a beer, wipe some blood on mikes shirt, and check out Dave through the window. Sit down, watch some reruns of Sanford and Sons. Check out whats in the fridge, hey cold roast beef! I make some sandwiches for everybody, then take a nap.
  Dave, Fist of Odin
Them plans, they sound good to me. Odin's not really one for the torture or sneakiness and shit, so I'll leave that to the monk and thieves.

Now Loki - there's the go-to-guy for the sneakiness and torture. That motherfucker. Don't get me started on Loki!

Anyway. IN check? a ONE. WS check? a 15. That make's 'em both. d6 roll? 2.

Let me know if I need to do anything else. Otherwise I'll guard and rhyme, rhymin and guardin,

My name's Dave, Fist of Odin
I'm a bad motherfucker
I'm all rhymin and guardin
And I'm a mad prankster

Well as the 40s go down
And the nighttime progresses
I go from skilz to a clown
And I'm getting disrespective

Ummm - anyway. How are you?
IQ 14.
I ask the boys on the side if they have seen a man, I describe Vrill to the best of my abilities. Wis to see if they have any signs of acknowledgement 15. I sit around and wait.....I drink a Bass. "Hey Mr. Caruthers our floating head could really use a boyfriend, you might want to try and be a bit more useful."
IQ check for the papers: 13. Nope. WI check and d6 for the loot:2 on WI and 3 on the dice. But before he grabs anything, Cinder pulls Zombie Mike aside and whispers
"Hey there friend, I'm thinkin that maybe on this joint, we should lay off the looting. It's a legal office, and these places just have a way of coming back to haunt ya. Plus, I generally like to do most of my looting at places where the victims are either dead, or haven't seen our faces for a good half hour or so. What do ya say? Just a thought."
If Zombie Mike is down with puttin the shit back and refraining on this one then cool. Cinder will do the same. But otherwise, he's gonna grab whatever that 2 WI doth spy.
Hey, thanks Mr. Caruthers. I really appreciate your candor. I bet your sons appreciate it as well. They look like some nice kids. You must be proud.

I love Bass, yeah that would be great. I ask Mike the Zombie 1k to bring up a few brewskies. I offer one to Willowby.

Ok, I take Mr. Caruthers with me over to the cabinet. And ask him if he might help us find those papers that refer to Vrill. My IQ check:19. I am of no use. Geez, if they were ledgers or something... all this legalese is confusing.

Anyway, I tell Mr. Caruthers that if we can't find the right papers, we are just going to have to take as many of them as we can. So, it would probably be in his best interest to help us sort them out.

Assuming we get the papers, I suggest that we get out of here. I ask Willowby if he has any appointments tomorrow. I think that we are going to have to tie and gag these three, and leave them to be discovered tomorrow.
  Clear As Fricking Day
Cinder, first off, Caruthers has only two sons. That third guy? The third son? That's actually Marivhon, half-elven monk of Grisbane, and he'd appreciate not being tied up, thanks.

Mike the zombie has been looting pretty extensively while you guys have been fuckin' around. But there's still some stuff. A bottle of fine wine, two small portraits of the boys, and roll WI and a d6.

No correspondence from Vrill, nothing on the Knights of Armek, Armeck, Merck, or Amtrak.

Brogg sez:

How long have you known Mr. Gregory Vrill?
Who? Never heard of the chap. Honestly!

Where is Mr. Vrill now?
I really have no idea what you're talking about.

Where are the papers concerning Mr. Vrill's case against us?
Oh, uh, right. Right. That Mr. Vrill. Sorry, you see, I'm not really used to ruffians breaking into my home and holding my boys hostage. Um, Mr., this Vrill chap as you say, I represent him in court. You know, to handle certain matters and procedures. All the papers are kept over in the cabinet in the next room. Here's the key, help yourself.

Where are all of the papers you have concerning Mr. Vrill?
Um, what? Like I said, over there in the cabinet. (What an odd fellow.)

Have you heard of the Knights of Armek? If so, what do you know about them?
Can't say that I have.

Have you ever heard of the Oracle of Gryss? If so, what do you know about him?
Can't say that I have.

Have you ever heard of the Monks of Progress? If so, what do you know about them?
Can't say that I have.

And finally,Do you have any beer?
Can't say that I have. Oh no, wait, there's some in the fridge. Help yourselves. Hope you like Bass.

Sure enough, there are a shitload of legal documents in the cabinet. IQ checks for all to find out what they mean, because they sure aren't clear as fricking day.
Also, if the firm is corresponding with Vrill via mail that Vrill is sending to them, we can track Vrill by the postmark on anything he sent to them as well, so look for letters to the firm from Vrill too.

Man, is Cinder tempted to just start looting. He looks around...is anything of, you know, really high value around?
Descent into Depths is an old school 1st Edition AD&D adventure run by the Infinity Group.

What type of dice? How many dice?

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