Yeah - shit's pretty fucked up right here. I say we take the princess to the airship. I pick her up, ask the man with the mule what he wants to do, and head to the ride.
I ALSO say we get the hell out of dodge, if we can figure out how to fly the thing. I'm pretty smart, and so is TK, and KT is good with machines, and we've got a couple of priests to help out on the figuring-things-out. I don't say any of this, of course, but my winks-and-nods should convey the information.
Plus, a Byakhee? Damn. That's hard-core. The safety of the princess is paramount, maybe, and I don't trust . . . well, anyone, except these folks who've backed my plays.
Is anyone on the field a lycanthrope? This is the third time I'm checking out what's going on for that.
These things are pretty diesel. I avoid eye contact with anyone and head to the airship as quietly and discretely as possible.
Bye Bye Byakhee
Rick says: "Hey, if you guys are backing down, could you do us a favor? Take Princess Droopy to our ride? Just help her inside. Leave the mule. Hang out, have some Nestea if you want. Hey Alonso, get these kids some Nestea."
With or without the Princess, you leave melee. Theo, you get to the Airship. Are the rest of you joining?
The combat commences. Just to move things along, I'll describe what happens over many rounds. The Daughters kill Dan or Tom or one of the Chums.
The Chums then kill one of the daughters, and severely beat on the other two. As she dies, she swears an oath to some black power, and a Byakhee shows up.
The Byakhee considers the Nameless Warrior.
The Byakhee yells NOOOOOOOOOOOOO and grabs the Nameless Warrior by both arms and pulls.
Rip. Off come the Nameless Warrior's arms.
The Nameless Warrior takes: 57 points of damage. The Nameless Warrior falls over.
The Byakhee flies into the clouds, still carrying the dripping arms.
Flap flap. Bye bye, Byakhee.
Labels: look for the byakhee on google image search if you want to know more about it
I don't think we can beat these Chums. -I'm not even sure that we should.
I get off the mule.
I whisper to my friends about me: "Mr. Dag, Azoth, Ms. Threnody, go get King Tut and meet me at the Airship
-Still invisible, I run to the airship. I am launching this puppy, ASAP.
Labels: go time
So... should we trust these guys or what? We could always just steal the princess while they're fighitng these moon maidens or whatever. I say we do that. There's a 1/100 chance I can make a 00 BR to sumon Apollo, who could probably own Charon, since he's just a demigod or something. I'm pretty sure he's from the MM2, not even Deities and Demigods.
Labels: I'm still here, just a little bit confused
Pair Of Threes, Jack High, Is What You Guys Got
That's all you guys got, huh?
Rick makes it easy for you. "Hey kids, why doncha just load that Princess onto our ship, hmm? Help some brothers out. We'll even give you a lift wherever you wanna go afterwards, and sign your baseball cards or whatever."
Rick sniffs. "Cuz, you know, kinda looks like you're gettin in the way of our mission here now. And I'm sure you ain't want to be doing that. We'll just finish off these bitches and soon we'll all be on our way. 'Kay?"
The Princess finally faints. Not because she's a wilting flower or whatever the expression is. More probably because she just inadvertently killed a guy with crazy spontaneous magic power. One charge/day apparently.
The Chums all move a leeetle
Labels: just a leeetle bit
"These aren't the droids you're looking for"
"You don't need to see our identification."
Dude, I am invisible. -I sit tight.
Is the princess on the mule?
If she is, I try to get on too. Climb Mules, BR: 63.
Labels: back that ass up
'Rekidnap the princess'? Hunh. I thought the princess was asking for help. I thought I was asking her what help she required. How did you get 'kidnapping' out of that? Is that what aid she requires? Being kidnapped?
"Uh... pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."
The Princess is getting freaked out by all the attention. As Thren and Dag also approach the mule and try to re-re-kidnap the Princess, the combat stops.
Everyone turns and looks at you guys.
Rick says: "Uh, no."
Momentary pause. Anyone?
Labels: cosmic rex is classic
I accompany Thren up to the princess, and say to the big guy:
"Hey buddy. This is your mule. No one wants to take it away. You are doing a great job! here, you've been working hard. Have a lemonade. You keep on taking good care of that mule. You're the best, buddy!"
I attempt to remove the princess from the mule.
Labels: I bet he swings on me next...
I approach the princess. "Princess - what's going on? We'd like to help you; what help do you require? This shit seems pretty fucked up right here. Is this guy," pointing to the short-bus-mule-keeper, "with you?"
I don't know about the chums or the amazons - they both seem a little too hard-core for me. Maybe they've lost sight of the important stuff - keeping princesses all princessy and not juiced or in danger - in their quests for glory or what-not.
Is anyone here a lycanthrope?
Labels: lycanthrope, Princess in trouble, short-bus
You Have Now Enraged Olaf, Son Of Pilaf
The Princess looks up at the weird disembodied voice.
So does the big retarded man, who hefts his club.
The Princess whispers "I really don't know what all's going on here. But some help would be most appreciated." She's still shivering from her skeletal hands thing.
Theo, you begin to lead away the mule. Given that the retarded man has one charge: don't let anyone touch that damn mule, he sees someone hefting the reins and taking his mule.
He attacks. Swing and a miss. Next time, you mightn't be so lucky.
Thaka II walks down the hill. She Dancing Lights some message about hating all NPCs, they're the source of all the universe's problems, and that it's time to smash the patriarchy. She draws her sword and runs into combat.
She manages to last a few rounds before the Chums finish her off. Jim falls to the ground, dead, after a weak attack, and as Thaka turns to attack Tom, Jim stands back up and runs her through with a broadsword from behind. "What the hell was that?" Rick looks over at you guys. "What the fuck are you doing? Where'd all these crazy bitches come from?"
Alonso, the Chums' biographer who's sitting on a portable stool off to the side, sipping a Nestea, writes:A surprise attack from another one of the Moon Queen's slaves caught our heroes off-guard! Jim began to sweat. "G-guys, there's too many of 'em! We're outnumbered!" Only a cunning riposte by Tom's blade saved the day! "Now don'tn't you worry Jimbo. I gotcher back." He disarmed the new foe, taking a blow to the shoulder in exchange before the she-witch was knocked out. The evil of the Moon Queen was exceeded only by the Chums' bravado.
Labels: can you lead a mule to water if you can't make him drink?, chums of charon, i have no idea what nestea tastes like- is it good?, olaf son of pilaf, princess onze, Thaka
That's some mighty fine lemonade. I'm going to make some with Daughter's tears.
"Check itGhost ridin' subsRing of double zeroesChums of Charoniz my heroezThe Daughters are castin'but my Glock is blastin'The Metal Druid watchezas the chums kill them byatchezSo I'd like to make a toastto the Chumz wit the mostSomething big is goin downAnd I'm glad Vanilli is safe in townMaking me some mon-ayLike that French artistHe painted dotz and stuffWTF, like that's tuff??Anywayz, back to them taxezDocuments, W-2s, billz and faxezKT flashes them gang signzWhile he kixx back and relaxez."
I flash the Chums a thumbs-up. "Hook it up, y'all."
I climb up a tree near the Princess. BR: 82, -barely.Hello, My Lady, my name is T. Koppel.Up here in the tree, -that's right, up top'ple.My words shouldn't scare, but only assuage youMy name is Ted Koppel, and I'm here to save you.I suggest while these bitches and chums still fightYou follow my lead and we get out of sightYou see, nearby I have a ship and a crewAnd we'll take you to Onze, if it so pleases youI do this 'cause T. Koppel feels great obligationTo always do right by ladies of your stationSo please allow me to lead you and your muleAnd we'll have you at sea before the end of this duel
I climb down, and try to lead her mule away.
It's Really Unfair
One of the Daughters, a scary woman with metal hair and visible black veins on her face and arms, yells: "Leave us be or..."
Jim says: "Yeah yeah spacebar spacebar. Do you know how many damn speeches we've heard? 'This is your last chance for surrender!' 'Don't interfere or you'll pay the price!' 'One more step and I cut off his nads!' Et cet-ra, et blah blah blah."
Dan says: "You know what I'd rather hear? Hey Nameless, hook up that jambox and play us some Wild Pitch. I fuckin
' love that song! Yeah!"
Rick looks at you guys. "Heh heh, don't worry kids. We clean up the language for the 'official version' of events."
The Nameless Warrior goes and gets a small jambox. He puts in a mixtape and presses play. As the battle begins, you hear some scratching and synth-brass over a stripped down, tight downtempo beat...
Yo look, you're in my way, I'm tellin you to back up
You think this is a game, so I'll commence to rack up
Points like the pro that I know that I am
Break on the mic, then go for the slam
You can't slow me down, talk about stop me
The best that you can do is try to copy
The rhythm of the stylish rapper on the Wild Pitch label
I'm able to bust a fat cable
Kids can't cope, you call it a rope
Lookin straight in my face yet the image is kaleidoscope
Due to the drugs you're takin your brain is fakin
Stop and take note of the mistakes you're makin
Rakin the floor for a pebble
Callin me brother but you're not on my level
I'm too much in effect, too much self-respect
I'm too live to ever drive my life to a wreck
I break necks, cash checks, have sex and plex
Do a battle in a flash then ask who's next
I'm a survivor kickin liver than a Memorex
Stompin out competition like Tyranosaurus Rex
I'm master-educatin, you masturbatin
Traps for weak raps, you need to be slapped
You suck, don’t leave the ghetto in your baseball cap
From now on wear a beanie, stop chasin the genie
I’d rather chase a cutie in a teenie bikini
Sip martinis on the rocks to keep it cold
Then chase it down with a quart of Olde Gold
The Chill will fill you with the weapon of wisdom
I master creation, never plagiarism
Offer me a blast, you must be jokin
Let my posse find out, your butt will really be smokin
This cat is courageous, outrageous, contagious
Most DJ's say they can't wait to play this
On a plate or platter made from wax
You wanna hear me chit-chatter, then pay the tax
Even on cassette I make suckers sweat
And the wack are afraid of me cause I'm a threat
Yes, you're all wet, caught up in my net
But I'll let you go, there's no need to fret
It's time to rewind, so go head, flick the switch
It's fat, catch it - Wild Pitch
Doesn't stop the Daughters from starting to cast. The battle is joined!
Sip. That's actually some damn good lemonade. You look at the bottle. It's Snapple. Why is it so good? You look at the label. "Made with fresh lemons and mermaid tears."
Mermaid tears? No wonder it's so good! Good thing you grabbed a few bottles of this stuff.
Down below, you see something crazy happen. One of the Chums, Rick or Jim or whatever, manages to make his way over to the Princess! He grabs her- she resists- and he pulls her off the horse, onto the ground. She struggles against his strength, and so he slaps her in the face, cutting her lip. A few drops of blood fall on the ground.
The world seems to freeze and the sky darkens. The Princess goes sheet-white and starts convulsing. Jim makes a 'WTF?' face. Skeletal hands reach up from the ground and grab Jim's legs, pulling him into the earth.
The combat momentarily stops while everyone takes this in. Rick yells 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' and then he yells 'Charon!' and burns a charge on his Ring of 00s.
Rick blogrolls a 00.
Charon shows up and sighs. "It's not your time... again." Jim comes back from the dead! The Ferryman sort of shakes his head sadly and disappears back to the banks of the River Styx.
The Daughters all look at each other. "That... is total BULLSHIT." One of them quickly texts something to her blog about how unfair it is.
Combat is rejoined!
Theo, the retarded man helps the Princess back onto her feet. He looks tense but is eating an apple. It smells good. It sounds crisp. It's a Red Delicious.