Vrill> "...and I’m going to use all my money, friends, and powers- that you didn’t rape from me that is- to destroy your family, your Guild, and your friends.”
Cinder spits. "My family is dead you fuck. I still recall the night I awoke to the sounds of my family being slaughtered in the dead of the night. I slipped out the window with no place to go, -nothing to do but learn my trade on the streets" eyes narrowing on Rupert, "and adventure
"And as for my guild, I just have to laugh. Not only is the DuMont Chess Club more powerful than you could imagine, but their numbers are many. Tis true that there is no honor among thieves, and while they may not avenge my death, you will certainly never
"And my friends. The ones you had jailed. Who escaped your jail and left a path of destruction in their wake. Whom you killed, only to return from death to exact revenge. You say you will destroy them. I tell you, you will get one more chance, and it will be your last one..."
Holy Crap, Mother of Grisbane.
Brogg does take a toke off of Ralph's spliff this time around.
Ok, Dave, Fist of Odin, Mike the Zombie, and... uh, Abbey, we have got a job to do. That job is kicking Vrill's Ass and getting Cinder Back. Well, I guess that is actually two jobs. Ok, we have two jobs to do. Let's get those jobs done. Screw shopping.
Mount Storm, here we come!
BTW, check out the new links.
INTERLUDE: BEST SERVED COLD- In The Name Of The Father
A change of pace… Hey, read the following four posts before reading this one, and it'll make more sense, okay? Yeah, FOUR fucking posts. Lots to be said. Thanks.
THE GREAT GREYHELM ZOO
Three figures stood shivering in the night air before the massive gate.
“My feet hurt” said Jerry, to no one in particular.
Barney looked over at the gnome and rolled his eyes. “Then git yerself some new boots there fella.”
The gnome shot back sharply “Actually, what I’d like to ‘git’ is the plan. What are we doing here, and what does it have to do with me CASTING SPELLS again? This place stinks like, well, like that jail you freed me from.”
The young lad shushed him, looking up from the Dragonlance novel he was about half-way through, and said “Shut up Apprentice. We’ve got one more hour until the guard changes. Then we can implement My Father’s Plan. You’ll see once we ‘git’ inside. Now stay quiet, and be on the lookout for that tall guy with the halberd.”
A quiet hush fell over the woods. Not a creature stirred. Mike the zombie looked up from his resting spot, alerted by the sudden quiet hush falling over the woods. “Uh oh” he said to the dead girl’s head in his lap. He made a zombie. “You’ll be safe in Grito with the others” he said, shaking the zombie’s hand, giving it a couple coins for the road, and wishing it well. He then laid back to await whatever was coming.
Two women approached. One woman, clearly freaked out of her mind, trailed behind the commanding presence of the other woman, whose face was covered in a black veil. The veiled one approached the zombie, and lifting her veil, revealed what lay beneath. Mike said “Oh shit.”
“Zombie who was once known as Mike the Nine Fingered, who once walked these paths in life, who now lives in the shadow realm between Elysium and The Abyss. Hear my command. Your companions, where are they going?”
“Uh, to this weather station place.”
“You will take this disk of bone so that we may follow and exact our revenge on those who hurt us. Your death will come quickly at the end. You will not speak a word of this, nor show them the disk of bone. Your treachery will be repaid with the dust of your flesh.”
The two women then moved back into the dark woods.
“Aw shit” said Mike, hanging his head in fear and shame. “Sorry guys. Don’t I get a save?” he asked into the night where the women once were.
Slowly, the forest voices began to creep back. Mike made a few more zombies to keep him company, and then sent them north like all the others. He curled up and hoped his friends would never find him.
The Conclusion of “B4: Return to Greyhelm” Part I: Back At The Farm
Reaaaaallly long, so this will be another multi-part post. All these scene transitions and wrap-ups require tons of exposition.
Anyway, we begin in the barn of the Vrill Family Farms. The PCs are backed into the large wooden building, surrounded by dead collies and dead women, plus the occasional dead bear or giant owl. Their opponents are three in number: the courageous, handsome, mute Lord Rupert with a sword made of gold (+2 vs. adventurers apparently), the equally handsome Lady Sarah, and of course, the villain of the story, Master Gregory Vrill of the Potion Guild. Vrill isn’t so handsome, because his frock is stained with tears and vomit. But what he lacks in glamour he makes up for in sheer rage.
And the battle’s just about to get interesting, because it’s an object lesson in why sometimes it’s better to fail a saving throw than make one.
Lady Sarah thrusts forth her still-as-of-yet-unidentified (but see below!) holy symbol, strangely loaf-like, casting Cause Fear on you all (it’s a higher level version so it gets three people). Dave and Cinder stand their ground, unafraid of some god’s wrath. But Brogg begins to feel remorse, perhaps at the death of a half-breed like himself! So Brogg gets the hell out of there. As Brogg turns to leave, Vrill yells at Lady Sarah in disgust: “No! Don’t make them run away goddammit… KILL THEM! AUGH!” Brogg, you don’t take complete leave of your senses though, because that last ‘AUGH’ is the sound Vrill makes when you slice him across the stomach for a solid 9 hp. Leaving the barn, you jump on one of those horses just outside to make your escape! And ride off into the night, trying maybe to catch up with Mike the zombie (who fled previously), but just trying to get the hell away and into the woods behind Vrill’s barn.
Those of you still inside note with some satisfaction that Brogg has just added injury to insult, and totally wrecked Vrill’s Potion Guild Master’s robes. No intestines coming out or anything like that, but it’s a pretty bloody laceration. Here’s also a good place to interject and say yeah Dave, you think that Remove Fear would restore a zombie’s confidence in his manhood.
Cinder, the healing potion is 1d8+2, so you’re healed for 3, up to 8/15. You then levitate on up, much like the bobcat about to be summoned, safely out of reach of Lord Rupert’s sword. Dave, that means the sword will be coming your way.
Vrill then drinks a healing potion and Magic Missiles you Cinder, as partial payback for slaughtering his wife. 3 and 5 hp from two missiles, you take 8, dropping you to exactly to 0. Your unconscious body falls to the ground, and you take 1 hp.
I’ll allow Dave to dump the healing potion down your throat as the bobcat is summoned. Cinder, you bounce back with 8/15 hp again and float back on up! The bobcat lazily floats down, hissing and paws aflurry before it even enters the barn. It floats over to Lady Sarah (to disrupt her spell), bapping her once for 3 hp. She keeps the spell though, although she does look surprised. I guess she’s never faced a beastmaster of ODIN before.
Lord Rupert retaliates for siccing your cat on his ladyfriend, by doing another 10 hp to you Dave. You’re down to 6/22. Lady Sarah then drops some logic… some Dispel Magic logic. Cinder, you crash back to earth for another 1 hp, the silence on Lord Rupert is dispelled, much to his vocal pleasure, but the bobcat grits his teeth and manages to stay on this plane! Lord Rupert says “Yes! Now we see who’s god’s power’s MIGHTIEST!”
Either he’s complementing your bobcat on resisting the spell, or just ignoring that piece of data for his hypothesis. Hard to say.
Back in rotation. Cinder, two daggers at Vrill. One hit, spell lost! And one miss. He takes 2 hp. Vrill cusses at you, yelling: “Damn it Meefer! I should’ve known it was you all along! Why?! Why are you doing this?” He then drinks another potion, and breathes fire on you! 10 hp with the fire breath potion! And you’re down again to –2.
It’s a tough call, Fist of Odin. You’re heavily wounded, in plate mail, and Cinder’s down and dropping. In retrospect, it didn’t really matter so much what you did, and you note with satisfaction that you said fuck it, put your trust in Odin and that crazy bobcat, and bashed Vrill’s sad face in. 8 hp. You fracture his left cheek and give him a hell of a black eye. A black face really, it’s totally nasty, he spits out a couple teeth and a lot of blood. Later, you’ll reminisce about Vrill’s face, in slow motion, being clobbered under the weight of that magic mace and the ‘CRRRUNCH’ of skull and sinus cavity collapsing. Bobcat gets in another hit, but spell is kept.
Lord Rupert then takes a step back and says: “Sir priest… I welcome this challenge. You and your friends have been worthy adversaries, but now the time has come to end this battle. Do not fear, though, I shall not take your life… I take PITY on you.” And it occurs to you just who you’re actually fighting… this is a Paladin of Isaac of the Jug, God of Pity! That loaf-like, turd-like emblem on his untouched tabard is meant to be a JUG! It all kind of makes sense, except for the part where you’re fighting a paladin who’s working with Vrill. Anyway, he attacks to subdue you, slamming the golden hilt of his magic sword into your forehead. And down you go.
The Conclusion of “B4: Return to Greyhelm” Part II: Of Gods And Men. And Half-Men.
We’ll do this in parts.
Brogg first. Brogg, pretty soon the spell wears off. You find yourself in the woods, actually not too far from where Arvid’s camp is. You wonder where the hell Mike got off to, but say to hell with him, you need to get back to the fight!
Just as you turn your horse around, you hear a mighty
That’s the sound of a longbow firing twice, into your horse, which cries out in pain, and falls over. You struggle to get out from under your horse, when you see a massive figure step out of the darkness into a little bit of light coming from a break in the tree cover where the moon has some light still there for you to see this. It’s Leuco! He just killed your horse!
As you begin to stand, the enormous supposedly-just-half-a-troll says: “Well met in Grisbane, friend Brogg. I see you have made your choice, to kill the chimerical constructs and rid this land, and Grisbane’s domain, of what you consider impure. So be it. I’ll be taking those mittens now. Now is not the time for us to fight; when next we meet though, I shall not spare your life.”
Leuco then kicks your ass. We could play it out over the next couple days, rolling this and rolling that, but I’ll come to the point. He kicks your ass.
“Hey there buddy… can you hear me? You alright?” You hear a familiar voice, faintly… opening your eyes, it’s light out, and you see AAHG OH MY GOD oh no, nevermind, it’s just Ralph’s huge head. You’re lying on the ground, but not where you were before. No dead horse. You’re back at Arvid’s camp! Arvid and Ralph are there looking at you.
“Hey,” says Arvid. “You look like shit. What’s going on?” You tell Arvid what transpired, hurridly, and that you must get back to your friends. “Well, it’s been a couple days, Brogg. So hang on a second, because I think you could use my help right now.” You calm down, but check your possessions. Sure enough, the Mittens of Friendship are missing, as are all your Owlbear Protection potions. Everything else is intact though, oddly enough.
Back at the farm, Dave and Cinder, you guys come to! They didn’t kill you apparently. You’re both tied up, gagged and bound, stripped and feeling like shit. Still in the barn, apparently it’s still night. Vrill is arguing with the Priests of Isaac what to do with you…
“They… they killed MY WIFE! AND MY DAUGHTER! How can you let them live! They deserve to die!” screams an understandably upset Vrill.
“Only God in his Infinite Wisdom” and pause, they both bow their heads for a second, smiling benignly like Jesus does when you see pictures of Jesus, looking at each other in love before Lady Sarah continues, “Only God dictates how one man lives and dies.”
“No, no… NO!” yells Vrill. “You, with your sword, you decide when you kill a guy! These guys are criminals and murderers! That one, he’s just a terrible drunkard priest! And that one, Meefer, he’s… he’s a traitor to the Guild!” Cinder, you kind of wake up a little more when you hear Vrill say that. Huh? Apparently that was a hell of a disguise you had. “These guys hate me… if you leave them alive, they’ll just come back. Haven’t you read those stories!? These guys ALWAYS COME BACK. KILL THEM NOW!!!”
There’s a bit more discussion, but the gist is this. Dave, you’ll be ransomed back to the Clergy of Odin in Greyhelm. Apparently that’s what priests do when they fight each other. Cinder… they have something else in mind for you.
Rupert says “Good Master Gregory, didn’t you say you needed a, mm, how do I say, subject, for activation of the ancient weather device?” He points at you Cinder and says “Rather than risk that fat but well-meaning apprentice of yours, why not this louse?”
Vrill looks at you Cinder and pauses, his mouth kind of half open, with a gleam in his eye. “Well… okay… I guess we can take him along. But I don’t have to be nice to him, do I?”
“Why don’t you try being nice. I think that would be a good effort for you.” Rupert and Sarah seem to agree about this.
“But not, you know, EXTRA nice,” says Vrill, looking back at them.
“No, not EXTRA nice.”
“Let’s do it.”
The rest of it goes by pretty quickly. Dave, they march you back into town (Cinder is knocked out and dragged along), and back to the temple. Bjorn Bjornenson is drunk as hell, and accepts their demands:
1) You cannot leave the temple for a week
2) They get all your stuff
3) You are Geased (Quested really) so that you may not EVER harm a devotee of Isaac of the Jug or anyone under their protection. Namely, Vrill.
In short, it sucks. They leave you at the temple, Lord Rupert taking your plate mail and mace and commenting as he goes that he has an idea for these foul unholy relics. They take Cinder too. Lord Bjornenson claps you on the back and congratulates you for your victory, in complete earnestness, and then passes out on the table.
The Conclusion of “B4: Return to Greyhelm” Part III: Well, That Sure Sucked.
But as it says in the Book of Grisbane, everything only half sucks.
Back to Brogg.
Arvid has a long talk with you. You’ve been out for a while, he cured you when Ralph found you, but Ralph couldn’t drag you back to camp by himself, and then when Ralph got back to camp, he forgot where you were, so Arvid Spoke With Some Animals and found you, took you back, and cured you to full, where you are right now. As mentioned in Part II, it’s been two days since the fight in the barn though.
“Anyway Brogg, there’s a lot I want to say. First off, about your friends. Don’t worry. Your zombie pal is off in the woods about an hour away. I was going to destroy him, but then I remembered your previous visit and thought he might be your friend. He looks pretty shaken up, poor guy, so when you leave here, you should go try to help him out. As for the other priest, Hand of Odin or whoever, he’s alive also, and he’s in town at the Temple of Odin. The other guy? Dunno. Sorry.”
“But hang on, before you go racing after revenge. I just wanted to say that I think you made the right decision regarding the owlbears and stuff. Total support here. I mean, it sucks you had to be put in that decision. That’s the Council of Grisbane for you though. But I sincerely doubt that owlbears really respect Grisbane, much less pray or spend time in quiet repose. Grisbane ain’t about the power, might, and overwhelming dominion over all creatures. Look at Ralph over there. That’s what Grisbane’s about. He’s the god of us who the rest of the world took a big dump on. We’re just trying to get by, make a living, read a book, smoke some weed, contemplate nature and shit. Owlbears, chimeras, golems, all them… basically badass monsters. You and me and Ralph, we’re not monsters, and that’s the point. You might think about that a little when you’re thinking about how to deal with this Potion Guild dork. The Man, he might see a half-orc and say ‘That’s an orc! A monster in a 10x10 room with a chest! Time to die!’ But we know better.”
“Anyway, I know you got a lot going on, so I’m not trying to dump anything else on your lap, but if you ever find yourself around Durth, you might want to meet with some of the Council. In particular, you might want to talk to the Oracle of Gryss up in the mountains there. Get another perspective, do a holy quest, crap like that. Leuco’s a dick, and he’ll be back, like it or not. So you gotta be ready, and the Oracle can help. Here take this scroll.” He hands you a Scroll of Flame Strike. “This is an ancient Grisbane scroll. Very powerful magicks there, lost of most of the Grisbane clergy, so don’t go Flame Striking every damn wearbear or whatever you run into. It’s big guns son. Even so, it might not be all you need to stop Leuco or this Potion Guild guy. It’s 6d8, which sounds like a lot, but you never know. Trolls and fire don’t mix, but Potion Guild guys I have on good authority have a lot of protection from fire stuff because of lab explosions or whatever.”
“Finally, the ancient weather station on Mt. Storm? The mountain is about a week west-northwest of here… just go across the Brushfire Plains until you see one lonely mountain. That’s where it is. Good luck son. Oh yeah, one last thing… you’ve, uh, got some mail?” He hands you a small scroll tube. “Just arrived yesterday, I guess from somebody in Grito. I didn’t read it though, but it’s not trapped so don’t worry.” He smiles and you pocket the strange small package.
With that, he and Ralph send you off.
You make your way through the woods until, sure enough, you find Mike. Actually, Speak With Animals probably helps you do that, because if you’ve ever tried to find a zombie in the woods, you know it’s not easy.
Mike the zombie looks very sad. He’s sitting on the ground in a fetal position, still clutching the head of that little girl! You approach him and try to cheer him up: “Hey, we’re not all dead! I mean, not that being dead is a bad thing” you try and cover your initial faux pas
. “Hey I know! Why don’t we make some zombies, go get Dave, save Cinder, and kill Vrill!”
Mike looks up at you and says “Make… zombies. Hmm.” He then looks at his ring, and looks at the dead girl’s head, and says “Make… nice… zombie!” He closes his eyes tight in concentration, grits his teeth, and says louder with more confidence “Make… NICE… ZOMBIE!”
And sure enough, holy shit, it’s wrong on at least a couple different levels, but the head’s eyes slowly open and the mouth opens too, intoning “DAAA-DEEE”. Both Mike and the head of Abby look at you. The black jewel in Mike’s zombie ring turns to dust. I guess that’s it for the zombies. Mike stands, and fuckin’ A, the head floats up beside him. You shrug, turn to go, Mike walks alongside you and the head floats along too.
Well, there you go.
Brogg, you and your two dead friends head back to Greyhelm. You decide to wait a couple hours until it gets dark to enter town, just to be on the safe side. Mike walking around was one thing, but a floating head? Might raise the eyebrows of a rent-a-guard or two. Anyway, you get to the Temple of Odin.
Back to Dave. Well Dave, try as you might, the temple guards won’t let you leave. So for the first day, it’s just you, some rather mute guards (think Ultima IV), and Lord Bjorn who’s still passed out. You find some cards and play solitaire, summon a bobcat or two and play some angry fetch.
On the second day, Winnifred, Maid of Mead, shows up. She looks a little harried, but smiles when she sees you. “Hey Dave, sorry about all this. I’ve been over at the Temple of Isaac of the Jug all day trying to sort this situation out. Here’s the deal.”
She sits down, pours herself a tall one, and continues. “First off, don’t worry about the whole ransoming thing. Happens all the time. I gotta give you credit, going up against those fuckwads,” and yes, she uses the word fuckwads, “those fuckwads OF THE JUG” she says sarcastically. “That was Lord and Lady Rupert and Sarah DeVaunet. They’re married, and totally Of The Jug, and not in a good way” she says, toasting you, indicating her flagon.
“Anyway, you don’t have to stay here all week. Just give it one more day, let the shit cool down, then you can take off. Those Of The Jug and that Potion Guild guy, they just left town like ten minutes ago from what I can tell. Headed to some mountain or something, I don’t know the details? But they stopped off at the Guild, then went to the Blacksmiths Guild for a while, then they split. They still have your friend, that human, took him with them for some reason.”
“As for the Geas, well, I can’t do anything about that. But,” she says, leaning closer, “you can. You know that jug thing Lady Sarah has? All her Geases go in there. So if you can get that and destroy it, bam, no more Geas, and you’re free to inflict bodily harm as Odin commands. Of course, you yourself can’t directly get the jug away from her, so you’ll have to figure something out. But that’s also as Odin commands, because he’s the God of Getting Shit Done For Yourself Or Failing That Making Your Friends Do It For You.”
“Failing that, though, you still got options. Ever hear of The Hall of Grunna? Grunna’s this Valkyrie chick who lives up in the mountains around Durth somewhere. If you can’t get the jug, so find Grunna and she might be able to help you. Hell,” she shrugs, taking a long drink, “you might want to go look her up just cuz. Odin’s got a lot of shit going on and Grunna might tell you what you can do to help.”
“Finally, I couldn’t get your mace or flask back or anything. Sorry, like I said, Those Of The Jug are serious dicks. But here’s some stuff, it’s what I could get at the last moment. Chain mail, shield, mace, sling and 20 bullets if you’re into that, 3 flasks of oil, 1 week rations, Potion of Healing, Potion of Heroic Rage, and a Prayer Bead of Summoning Doubling. I know you’ve got a thing about the Potion Guild, so don’t worry, these potions are all home-brewed. And the Bead does just what you might think it does, times two across the board so use it wisely. It’s some pretty hefty Wotan Magic, brother Dave. So let’s chill out for a few hours, and then you can get out of here. Oh yeah, here’s 500 gp. Took up a collection at the bar. You play mah-jong?”
After a couple hours of mah-jong, Brogg, Mike, and the Head of Abby walk/stumble/float up to the temple. There’s some handshakes and discussion about what to do. You guys might want to go around town to buy some stuff, let me know in your replies, but I’m assuming the final verdict is fuck yeah, go after Vrill, the Priests, and Cinder. Hey, you’ve got one of the keys, some new gear, and a big chip on your shoulder. Except Abby, who doesn’t really have shoulders.
Do what you want around town- except, unfortunately, train, because there’s no time! (One week/level training.) By the way, you get 1000 xp apiece. That includes you Cinder.
And speaking of Cinder…
The Conclusion of “B4: Return to Greyhelm” Part IV: Enemy Mine.
Cinder, you come to every now and then, but then Vrill takes delight in knocking you back out. You’ve been stripped of all gear except pants again, tied up and draped over a horse. Because Vrill knows some of your tricks though, he’s giving you liberal doses of Potions of Friends and Potions of Stupor, so you’re generally in a cheerful mood, in a Down’s syndrome kind of way, while Vrill passively-aggressively insults you every chance he gets. Also, he still thinks you’re Master Yves Meifer, come from Durth to steal his secrets.
“So, I should’ve known it was you all along, Meefer” Vrill leers at you. “You son of a bitch. It wasn’t enough to kill my kobold friends. Or kill my owlbears. Or dismember my apprentice. Or wreck my plans for Grito. Or kill my dogs. Or infiltrate the Science Fair… by the way, why the hell did you give me good marks? Oh yes, that was BECAUSE I FRIENDSED YOU. One point for me, Master Meefer. Anyway, where was I. Or kill my Growlbear! Or COME TO MY HOME! KILL MY WIFE AND DAUGHTER BEFORE MY EYES! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!” He’s sweating now, red in the face, while you’re still grinning and drooling, juuust a little bit.
He calms down when the Lord and Lady raise eyebrows at his language. “You dirty mother fucker. Well I got my funding. And I want you to know, Meefer,” every time he says it he tries to say it all sarcastically, “I want you to know that it’s over. I don’t care anymore about the Knights of Armek or owlbears or IRRELEVANT SHIT LIKE THAT. You’re going to die in the ancient weather station, and I’m going to use all my money, friends, and powers- that you didn’t rape from me that is- to destroy your family, your Guild, and your friends.” He kicks you in the balls and you pass out from the pain.
Eventually, you apparently leave town. The trek through the countryside takes several days, you think? You’re still retarded. Finally, you make it to a lone mountain and head on up… you think you can make out a structure at the top, amongst the clouds!
“Hey, Master Gregory. So, we’ve got one of the keys, but not the other key.”
“Sigh… that’s right. Those FUC… those bad people must’ve taken the other one. You know, not to criticize your methods or anything, but you really should’ve killed those guys. They’ve got the key, we’ve got their friend, they’ll be coming after us. At least they don’t really know where we’re going. I mean, it took me three years of research to find this place, so I figure we’ve got a pretty good head start. They don’t have a ranger as far as I know. But anyway, next time? Please just kill them. I’ll PAY you. Hell, I’ll join your GODDAMN temple.”
“Sure thing Greg!” Rupert and Sarah smile, kiss, and holding hands, begin the journey up Mt. Storm.
Meanwhile, like I said, Brogg and Dave, do whatcha like in town. You’ll have to buy a couple weeks of food, so subtract 15 gp each. You then head out, following the directions given to you by Arvid, leaving Greyhelm and venturing into the Brushfire Plains. After five days and a couple Speak With Animals, which is turning out to be like the most useful spell you know, you get oriented correctly, and see the lonely mountain on the horizon! Cinder, every now and then you are conscious and cogent, so if you want to try something or talk shit, feel free to chime in.
This concludes “B4: Return to Greyhelm”. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the B Cycle with “B5: The Ancient Weather Station of Dorov”! (Not to worry, there’s some C series modules after that.)
Jesus. I mean Loki. BR:19 on that save. I gulp a potion of healing and a potion of levitation and float on up. BR:1 on that healing potion. Shit. Next round I am going to toss a couple of daggers at the casters to (try to) ruin their spells for the round. If only one person is casting between Sarah and Vrill, then two at the caster. Otherwise one each. "And to think I gave you straight A's on your poster you sonofabitch!"
My last reply posted to the reference page once again. Rob, can you view it there? Mark, can nab it and toss it here? I tried, but no go. Ugh. Vrill must have cast Maze on my Blog.
Dave, Fist of Odin
Ummm . . . I'm really not sure that a half-elf chick and a 10-year-old girl are what I had in mind for the holding and the death, but whatever. Odin smiles upon carnage.
My save? Why, I BR a 19. With my WIS bonus that's a motherfucking 22 and shit. Hi Point check? Next thing is the Bobcat, you know, and then some healing - a potion for me in the bobcat round, if I need it, and then a cure light on Cinder. Then the clobbering!
Hey - If Mike, Our Zombie Friend is turned, will a remove fear help against that? Just for future reference.
Whatever else happens, we RUINED Vrill. Umm, by killing a little girl, but still.
Oh, and in the clobbering round, I BR a 13. With my magic mace that hits AC 6, and if that's enough to clobber Vrill I do (BR 5) 8 points.
Oh my god, Mike is a Zombie Master.
My save, BR: 14. Crap, that I need a 15 to save vs. Spell. Dave, Fist of Odin, you are the only one with a wisdom bonus, and that's +3, just so you know. I'll update DID Reference.
Well, assuming that I still can, Grisbane willing, I am going to cut Vrill down. BR: 12. That hits AC: 7. BR: 8, 9 points of Damage, yes! (maybe) C'mon you foul prestidigitator!
The Plot Thickens
Thiriouthly, it geth pretty thick here.
Dave, potion drank and hp healed. You prep a spell, as the collie farm backup begins to arrive and combat begins anew. I'm doing some rolling here just to move things along a little.
You see two figures come into the light and step into the barn. Both female, one is an elven woman, the other, a small half-elven girl. The woman is dressed in a robe, and before you get to act, she gasps in horror at the dog butchery and Magic Missiles you Dave, one missile coming at you for 3 hp. For an elven sorceress, she’s not really ravishing as you might expect. She’s not unattractive, just sort of older, looking a bit sleepy and scared, hair unbrushed. Kind of hot in a ‘soccer mom’ kind of way if you’re into that, but she’s certainly no beautiful elven maiden. Anyway, she just Magic Missiled you and that kind of sucks.
Before she gets much further though, Dave drops the Hold Person. A 1st level mage and small child don't have the greatest saves, and sure enough, they're both held.
Cinder, you then backstab the hell out of her. 18 to hit, 7 hp times two is 14 and you drive the broadsword right through her neck so that the end of the blade, black with elf blood, sticks out of her mouth, a gobbly bit of tongue flesh stuck on the side.
The little half-elven girl can’t be more than 10 or 11 years old. She’s clutching a little toy bear… no, a little wooden toy owlbear, looks like the wings are pose-able! Pretty nice. She screams in fear and shock at seeing what you’ve done to her farm friends. The scream catches in her throat as the Hold Person goes off and the zombies tag-team her. The first zombie, not-Mike, grabs her around the waist, squeezing so tight you can hear a couple ribs snap. He then gouges a bit of her flesh out with his teeth and eats it. The second not-Mike zombie grabs her left leg and bites the toes clean off. Disgustingly, he can’t get it all down, and a little toe dribbles out of his mouth when he stands back up, landing in the girl’s hair. The Mike zombie then wraps his dead hands around her neck and twists. There’s a sickening POP as her neck snaps. With undead strength, he then keeps twisting, and her head comes clean off. He beheads the girl as she screams, her scream trailing off to just an open-mouthed gasp of extreme terror as her dying eyes gaze down at what remains of her zombie-bitten body.
“NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” yells Vrill as he races into the barn. With him are the two priest-like people, Lord Rupert and Lady Sarah, quickly dismounting from horses that now stand grazing just outside the barn. Vrill collapses to his knees, horrified by the scene. “SAMANTHA!!” he yells, looking first to the elven woman to his right. Cinder, his wide reddened eyes meet yours as he looks first to the woman, the sword sticking out of her mouth, and then to her killer, you, behind her.
“Oh god… GOD NO! ABBY!!!” he screams, beginning to cry, as he looks to his left, where the zombies stand over the body of the little girl.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Vrill falls to his knees as Rupert and Sarah enter the barn. Sarah forcefully presents her holy symbol; something that appears to be a, mm, small ceramic loaf of bread? Hard to say just what it is, but whatever it is, she Turns Undead without even rolling! The two not-Mike zombies go POOF, turning into dust. Mike the zombie screams “Noooooo….” and flees from her in undead fear, running out of the barn, still carrying the head of the little girl ‘Abby’.
Rupert draws his longsword, a beautiful sword made of gold. That’s right, made of gold. He turns his head to watch Mike run off, saying “Uh, honey, why didn’t that zombie turn to dust?” The woman shakes her head and says “Maybe he’s a zombie master?” He shrugs and beckons you forward with one hand, gives you all a stern smile, and says “Let’s finish this” in a deep, heroic voice.
Vrill throws up.
Brogg, you can't get to Master Vrill despite your efforts as Lord Rupert interposes. Swing and a hit as your sword just barely gets through the banded mail. BR: 15 there buddy. It's 5 for damage, which ain't great, you only scratch him with that.
Dave, Silence goes off... it's still not going your way as Lady Sarah and Vrill make their saves with a pair of 16s. For what it's worth, Lord Rupert is struck dumb and mouths something strange at you.
Cinder, you pull your broadsword out of 'Samantha', and her body drops to the ground with a dull thud. In slow motion, her elven head bounces off the dirt floor, just once, before settling in a pool of thick throat blood leaking rapidly out of her mouth. It's a swing and a miss against your pal Rupert. He looks at your feeble attempt (BR: 6) and gives you a small shake of his head. In trade, he swings the sword of gold
at you, silently cursing as he misses. Then Lady Sarah says "Hon, you always forget... your sword is +2 vs. adventurers
!" The realization hits his face, lighting up, and the sword goes through your armor just a little more, hitting you for a whopping 10 hp, slicing your left forearm down to the bone.
Vrill's still kneeling and screaming in disbelief at all the death around him. He takes this round to mourn some more, and then staggers slowly back to his feet, looking utterly pissed. He says in a low, totally serious tone "My god... what have you done." His voice rising back to a yell: "I... you killed my FAMILY. My WIFE and DAUGHTER! GOD I HATE YOU
!" Looks like he's going to shut up and get back to the magic soon...
But before that, Lady Sarah presents her brown oval symbol to the lot of you, casting. Make saves vs. spells, everyone. It's mental, so add WI bonus if any. Good luck there.
Dave, Fist of Odin
I too drink a healing potion, so as not to give away our position by casting. BR: 5. I think that puts me at 21/22, yes? Then I get ready to cast Hold Person on any damn people who come into this barn.
Then, in case things are moving quickly and I'm a slack-ass at posting, I'll cast Silence on any spellcasters who aren't held, and then bring an angry Bobcat into the fray, and then (unless someone's hella wounded) start clobbering with my mace.
Please note that I continue to take Cause Light Wounds so that I can cure Mike, Our Zombie Friend.
And Geez - that new zombie DOES look familiar! Hmmm - is it someone we killed? We kill a lot of people, you know, so they all get muddled together.