7.10.2005
Quest Time
So here's the deals.
Cinder, you asked about fencing Lord Rupert's sword of gold. Sure, the Thiefs are pretty excited to get their paws on it, and they'll pay you 5000 gp! On the other hand, if you'd prefer, for 30 gp they can paint over it with steel paint, give you a new scabbard, wrap the hilt in black leather, and no one would be the wiser if you'd rather keep it. The Thiefs will tell you where they think some other magic weapons can be found, free of cost, because they figure you'll fence some of that shit anyway.
Apparently there's a new order of monks in town. No one really knows where they are, but they're pretty rich. They've got some urns and tapestries and stuff that the Blackwalls would love to get ahold of, and according to rumor, they're stockpiling magic weapons for some reason. No one really gets that one, because don't monks, you know, use karate and stuff? Anyway, they're called the Monks of Progress, and they were pretty visible about a month before you arrived, but now they've gone into hiding, or built a monestary or something. Find the monks, get their stuff, and the Blackwall Thiefs will pay you premium. In particular, if you can get their illustrated prayerbook, the Thiefs estimate it at 5000 gp. Pretty sweet.
Dave, the temple of Odin is a little concerned because usually Grunna the Valkyrie flies down every month to party at the main temple. They haven't seen her for the last couple months, but you know, some stuff has been coming up, so no one's gotten around to finding her and reminding her of the parties? Or maybe something bad has happened. Anyway, her lodge is up on a bluff, about two days north of town right where the Bjornen Fjord meets the Sjornskjeld Fjord. There's no reward or anything but hey, party with a valkyrie of Odin yo.
Brogg, at the end of your training, you finally are called before Grettin and Shettin. Two attractive half-orc maidens accompany you into the main hall. Then, two half-ogres, a half-gnoll, and a half-giant walk out carrying a large pillar. Atop the pillar is seated the great Grettin and Shettin! Grettin and Shettin are a half-ettin. Literally, but just the top half. It's pretty fucked up, and make a WI check to avoid saying "What the fuck?!"
It's true. Grettin and Shettin are only half an ettin, just two heads, two arms, and a torso. They're wearing an elegant, expensive robe, and Shettin has a nice haircut, little spectacles, good teeth for an ettin, and a sharp, incisive look of the great High Priest of Grisbane. Grettin, on the other hand, well, Grettin has a Gameboy. And seems pretty wrapped up in it, not really paying attention to you, just trying to play the Gameboy with the arm under his control, with kind of a dopey, glassy-eyed look. Actually, on an IQ or Knowledge:History check, you'll remember a rumor that you heard, that the High Priest of Grisbane has a Gameboy +2! Although, although you're not really sure what that means... +2 fun? +2 lives? +2 Mario?
Every now and then Shettin will help Grettin hold the Gameboy with sort of a sad, disgusted look towards him. But mostly, his attention is focused on you.
"Welcome, Brogg, Champion of Grisbane, to the House of Turf Bleeding. I congratulate you on your Pact of Genocide and we here in the House have heard tremendous things of your successes against the monsters who would assail the walls of the house of Grisbane. Uh, no, not like that (to Grettin), use the heart on the Ghoulmaster. Yeah, good, now you got it."
"Yes Brother Brogg. I knew your father, Brogg Geraldo, a strong orc warrior and man of great faith in Gruumsh. I see that the courage and spirit that coursed through his veins course in yours as well."
"You have many questions I am sure. You will find that most answers come on the end of your blade, as befits the Champion. You have questions, but I have a quest. Yes Brogg, new troubles assail us here in the Great House. You see, it has come to our attention that Jean-Pierre GodHoof, god of the unicorns, was recently slain in a battle with Quetzlcoatl, god of the Aztecs. The unicorns, distraught, came to us for protection, claiming themselves to be half-breeds, spawned of the union 'twixt horses and narwhales. However, the Council argued at length over this matter, but our decision rested on two pieces of incontrovertible evidence: 1) there are no mention of unicorns in The Book, and 2) unicorns can't swim."
"Andicorn, leader of the unicorns, repaid our decision of exclusion with violence, and slew two of our priests, Juniper Halfling and Rolo, Half-Ogre. The unicorns, usually reclusive, harmless cave dwelling animals, have become barbaric and deranged."
"Thus as Champion, Brogg, defender of the Brech-Turf Covenant, I issue unto you this challenge. Go, find Andicorn, slay him, and as many unicorns as you can. Grisbane shall bless your struggles, and if you make a paste out of the Unicorn King's horn, you will be granted +1 WI. That's right, +1 WI, a step along the way to Big Level Spells. Now go." And with that, he's led out of the audience hall, as are you.
There you have it.
Cinder, you asked about fencing Lord Rupert's sword of gold. Sure, the Thiefs are pretty excited to get their paws on it, and they'll pay you 5000 gp! On the other hand, if you'd prefer, for 30 gp they can paint over it with steel paint, give you a new scabbard, wrap the hilt in black leather, and no one would be the wiser if you'd rather keep it. The Thiefs will tell you where they think some other magic weapons can be found, free of cost, because they figure you'll fence some of that shit anyway.
Apparently there's a new order of monks in town. No one really knows where they are, but they're pretty rich. They've got some urns and tapestries and stuff that the Blackwalls would love to get ahold of, and according to rumor, they're stockpiling magic weapons for some reason. No one really gets that one, because don't monks, you know, use karate and stuff? Anyway, they're called the Monks of Progress, and they were pretty visible about a month before you arrived, but now they've gone into hiding, or built a monestary or something. Find the monks, get their stuff, and the Blackwall Thiefs will pay you premium. In particular, if you can get their illustrated prayerbook, the Thiefs estimate it at 5000 gp. Pretty sweet.
Dave, the temple of Odin is a little concerned because usually Grunna the Valkyrie flies down every month to party at the main temple. They haven't seen her for the last couple months, but you know, some stuff has been coming up, so no one's gotten around to finding her and reminding her of the parties? Or maybe something bad has happened. Anyway, her lodge is up on a bluff, about two days north of town right where the Bjornen Fjord meets the Sjornskjeld Fjord. There's no reward or anything but hey, party with a valkyrie of Odin yo.
Brogg, at the end of your training, you finally are called before Grettin and Shettin. Two attractive half-orc maidens accompany you into the main hall. Then, two half-ogres, a half-gnoll, and a half-giant walk out carrying a large pillar. Atop the pillar is seated the great Grettin and Shettin! Grettin and Shettin are a half-ettin. Literally, but just the top half. It's pretty fucked up, and make a WI check to avoid saying "What the fuck?!"
It's true. Grettin and Shettin are only half an ettin, just two heads, two arms, and a torso. They're wearing an elegant, expensive robe, and Shettin has a nice haircut, little spectacles, good teeth for an ettin, and a sharp, incisive look of the great High Priest of Grisbane. Grettin, on the other hand, well, Grettin has a Gameboy. And seems pretty wrapped up in it, not really paying attention to you, just trying to play the Gameboy with the arm under his control, with kind of a dopey, glassy-eyed look. Actually, on an IQ or Knowledge:History check, you'll remember a rumor that you heard, that the High Priest of Grisbane has a Gameboy +2! Although, although you're not really sure what that means... +2 fun? +2 lives? +2 Mario?
Every now and then Shettin will help Grettin hold the Gameboy with sort of a sad, disgusted look towards him. But mostly, his attention is focused on you.
"Welcome, Brogg, Champion of Grisbane, to the House of Turf Bleeding. I congratulate you on your Pact of Genocide and we here in the House have heard tremendous things of your successes against the monsters who would assail the walls of the house of Grisbane. Uh, no, not like that (to Grettin), use the heart on the Ghoulmaster. Yeah, good, now you got it."
"Yes Brother Brogg. I knew your father, Brogg Geraldo, a strong orc warrior and man of great faith in Gruumsh. I see that the courage and spirit that coursed through his veins course in yours as well."
"You have many questions I am sure. You will find that most answers come on the end of your blade, as befits the Champion. You have questions, but I have a quest. Yes Brogg, new troubles assail us here in the Great House. You see, it has come to our attention that Jean-Pierre GodHoof, god of the unicorns, was recently slain in a battle with Quetzlcoatl, god of the Aztecs. The unicorns, distraught, came to us for protection, claiming themselves to be half-breeds, spawned of the union 'twixt horses and narwhales. However, the Council argued at length over this matter, but our decision rested on two pieces of incontrovertible evidence: 1) there are no mention of unicorns in The Book, and 2) unicorns can't swim."
"Andicorn, leader of the unicorns, repaid our decision of exclusion with violence, and slew two of our priests, Juniper Halfling and Rolo, Half-Ogre. The unicorns, usually reclusive, harmless cave dwelling animals, have become barbaric and deranged."
"Thus as Champion, Brogg, defender of the Brech-Turf Covenant, I issue unto you this challenge. Go, find Andicorn, slay him, and as many unicorns as you can. Grisbane shall bless your struggles, and if you make a paste out of the Unicorn King's horn, you will be granted +1 WI. That's right, +1 WI, a step along the way to Big Level Spells. Now go." And with that, he's led out of the audience hall, as are you.
There you have it.
