4.02.2007
Some Are Silver, The Others Gold
Nice Entangle there. It does the job.
...
You all board the Airship with the Princess. Theodore, no, what you need is not a d20 roll. Or a freshly baked roll. What you need are the keys. And maybe a couple hundred hours of in-air flight experience.
You guys fumble around for a few rounds. Alonso watches with some concern as you try to hotwire the Airship. He still offers Nestea to any takers.
The control panels, by the way, aren't that complicated- it's sort of like a couple X-box controllers. You do manage to find the radio. You turn it on. Apparently there's a Depeche Mode mixtape in the tape player. But you don't have a ton of time before the Chums show back up.
...
"Hey there guys." The Chums bring dead Dan on board, and help the armless Nameless Warrior get on the ship. He looks pretty bad. He's got an old t-shirt tied around each shoulder stump. In fact, given his wardrobe, he looks a lot like this:
...
Rick kicks you off the controls. "Eh, what you doin', man. Take a seat guys, and don't forget to buckle up!" Rick launches the Airship into the clouds. It's a bumpy takeoff, but kinda crazy, and you all look out the portholes and watch the land shrink away. Hey, there's mini-Gorgos! And Mammon's Point!
The ride smooths out after 20-30 minutes, and the Fasten Seatbelts sign clicks off. Jim and Tom are hanging out with Nameless, giving him some booze for the pain. Jim yells: "Hey Ambassador! Mission Accomplished! Come on down and let's knock back a couple!"
From the First-Class Seating upstairs, comes a familiar face... Ambassador Bekkers! He pauses for a brief moment when he sees the lot of you, but he plays it cool. "Well this is an unexpected... surprise." Hmm. He regards Nameless. "Oh dear me, the poor fellow. Is the Princess alright?" He goes over to where she's sleeping and checks her pulse. "Mm. Good. Very good, well done my friends." He claps Tom and Jim on the shoulders, and smiles at Rick when Rick comes out of the cockpit.
Hmm.
...
I'm... taking a ride... with my best friend...
...
You all board the Airship with the Princess. Theodore, no, what you need is not a d20 roll. Or a freshly baked roll. What you need are the keys. And maybe a couple hundred hours of in-air flight experience.
You guys fumble around for a few rounds. Alonso watches with some concern as you try to hotwire the Airship. He still offers Nestea to any takers.
The control panels, by the way, aren't that complicated- it's sort of like a couple X-box controllers. You do manage to find the radio. You turn it on. Apparently there's a Depeche Mode mixtape in the tape player. But you don't have a ton of time before the Chums show back up.
...
"Hey there guys." The Chums bring dead Dan on board, and help the armless Nameless Warrior get on the ship. He looks pretty bad. He's got an old t-shirt tied around each shoulder stump. In fact, given his wardrobe, he looks a lot like this:
...
Rick kicks you off the controls. "Eh, what you doin', man. Take a seat guys, and don't forget to buckle up!" Rick launches the Airship into the clouds. It's a bumpy takeoff, but kinda crazy, and you all look out the portholes and watch the land shrink away. Hey, there's mini-Gorgos! And Mammon's Point!
The ride smooths out after 20-30 minutes, and the Fasten Seatbelts sign clicks off. Jim and Tom are hanging out with Nameless, giving him some booze for the pain. Jim yells: "Hey Ambassador! Mission Accomplished! Come on down and let's knock back a couple!"
From the First-Class Seating upstairs, comes a familiar face... Ambassador Bekkers! He pauses for a brief moment when he sees the lot of you, but he plays it cool. "Well this is an unexpected... surprise." Hmm. He regards Nameless. "Oh dear me, the poor fellow. Is the Princess alright?" He goes over to where she's sleeping and checks her pulse. "Mm. Good. Very good, well done my friends." He claps Tom and Jim on the shoulders, and smiles at Rick when Rick comes out of the cockpit.
Hmm.
...
I'm... taking a ride... with my best friend...
Labels: airship, ambassador bekkers, chums of charon, depeche mode, mixtape, princess onze, WTF
3.27.2007
You Have Now Enraged Olaf, Son Of Pilaf
The Princess looks up at the weird disembodied voice.
So does the big retarded man, who hefts his club.
The Princess whispers "I really don't know what all's going on here. But some help would be most appreciated." She's still shivering from her skeletal hands thing.
Theo, you begin to lead away the mule. Given that the retarded man has one charge: don't let anyone touch that damn mule, he sees someone hefting the reins and taking his mule.
He attacks. Swing and a miss. Next time, you mightn't be so lucky.
...
Thaka II walks down the hill. She Dancing Lights some message about hating all NPCs, they're the source of all the universe's problems, and that it's time to smash the patriarchy. She draws her sword and runs into combat.
She manages to last a few rounds before the Chums finish her off. Jim falls to the ground, dead, after a weak attack, and as Thaka turns to attack Tom, Jim stands back up and runs her through with a broadsword from behind. "What the hell was that?" Rick looks over at you guys. "What the fuck are you doing? Where'd all these crazy bitches come from?"
Alonso, the Chums' biographer who's sitting on a portable stool off to the side, sipping a Nestea, writes:
A surprise attack from another one of the Moon Queen's slaves caught our heroes off-guard! Jim began to sweat. "G-guys, there's too many of 'em! We're outnumbered!" Only a cunning riposte by Tom's blade saved the day! "Now don'tn't you worry Jimbo. I gotcher back." He disarmed the new foe, taking a blow to the shoulder in exchange before the she-witch was knocked out. The evil of the Moon Queen was exceeded only by the Chums' bravado.
So does the big retarded man, who hefts his club.
The Princess whispers "I really don't know what all's going on here. But some help would be most appreciated." She's still shivering from her skeletal hands thing.
Theo, you begin to lead away the mule. Given that the retarded man has one charge: don't let anyone touch that damn mule, he sees someone hefting the reins and taking his mule.
He attacks. Swing and a miss. Next time, you mightn't be so lucky.
...
Thaka II walks down the hill. She Dancing Lights some message about hating all NPCs, they're the source of all the universe's problems, and that it's time to smash the patriarchy. She draws her sword and runs into combat.
She manages to last a few rounds before the Chums finish her off. Jim falls to the ground, dead, after a weak attack, and as Thaka turns to attack Tom, Jim stands back up and runs her through with a broadsword from behind. "What the hell was that?" Rick looks over at you guys. "What the fuck are you doing? Where'd all these crazy bitches come from?"
Alonso, the Chums' biographer who's sitting on a portable stool off to the side, sipping a Nestea, writes:
A surprise attack from another one of the Moon Queen's slaves caught our heroes off-guard! Jim began to sweat. "G-guys, there's too many of 'em! We're outnumbered!" Only a cunning riposte by Tom's blade saved the day! "Now don'tn't you worry Jimbo. I gotcher back." He disarmed the new foe, taking a blow to the shoulder in exchange before the she-witch was knocked out. The evil of the Moon Queen was exceeded only by the Chums' bravado.
Labels: can you lead a mule to water if you can't make him drink?, chums of charon, i have no idea what nestea tastes like- is it good?, olaf son of pilaf, princess onze, Thaka
3.24.2007
The Original Four Chums Of Charon Met The Nameless Warrior In Huzzek's Abyssal Fortress Where He Was Chained To An Evil Sentient Sword Named Skylerz
Okay, you sail off towards Mammon's Point on the big island. Avoiding Gorgos, you get there. The Church, however, is closed and sealed. The massive stone doors resist your attempts to open them.
Just when you're about to feel storyline surrounding these doors, just before you take drastic measures like scaling the entire cathedral or grappling up the cliffs or something retarded like that... that's when you see the airship.
It's the unmistakable golden blimp of the Chums of Charon, immortalized in comic books loved the world 'round.
You see it descending a few miles away. Where's there's smoke... you recall the TV show you watched- the Chums were going to save the Princess too! You run all the way (10 miles) and get there to see an interesting scene.
...
In a sunny meadow, the dirigible has descended. You run down a hill as a the Chums exit their skyship: Rick, Jim, Tom, Dan, and the Nameless Warrior. They all wear Izod shirts of different colors. Except for the Nameless Warrior, who only wears a big cloak and a huge helmet.
The Chums rush out and assume their pre-battle pose. Battle? Indeed, friends.
For down in the meadow below are the mercenaries and the Princess.
...
The mercenaries happen to be three. No, four. Looks like three Daughters of Hecate- nasty bitches loaded with weapons. Plus a tall retarded man leading a donkey, and on the donkey is the Princess!
The Daughters size you all up. The retard takes the donkey over to a tree for shelter away from the impending battle.
The Chums regard you. "Hullo!" shouts Rick. "Nice day for an adventure, wouldn't ya say?!"
Tom says "Locked and loaded, Chums. Got the sun at our backs!"
Jim says to you guys "Sorry folks, but you'll have to wait to get autographs until we've cleaned up this little mess here. Just stand back and you won't get nicked... Better keep clear, I smell some big explosions in this one! Ha ha!"
Dan says to the Chums "We got margaritas and those Italian chicks waiting back on the Paradise Island boys. Let's do this thing... Chum style!"
The Nameless Warrior does not speak.
...
Actions?
Just when you're about to feel storyline surrounding these doors, just before you take drastic measures like scaling the entire cathedral or grappling up the cliffs or something retarded like that... that's when you see the airship.
It's the unmistakable golden blimp of the Chums of Charon, immortalized in comic books loved the world 'round.
You see it descending a few miles away. Where's there's smoke... you recall the TV show you watched- the Chums were going to save the Princess too! You run all the way (10 miles) and get there to see an interesting scene.
...
In a sunny meadow, the dirigible has descended. You run down a hill as a the Chums exit their skyship: Rick, Jim, Tom, Dan, and the Nameless Warrior. They all wear Izod shirts of different colors. Except for the Nameless Warrior, who only wears a big cloak and a huge helmet.
The Chums rush out and assume their pre-battle pose. Battle? Indeed, friends.
For down in the meadow below are the mercenaries and the Princess.
...
The mercenaries happen to be three. No, four. Looks like three Daughters of Hecate- nasty bitches loaded with weapons. Plus a tall retarded man leading a donkey, and on the donkey is the Princess!
The Daughters size you all up. The retard takes the donkey over to a tree for shelter away from the impending battle.
The Chums regard you. "Hullo!" shouts Rick. "Nice day for an adventure, wouldn't ya say?!"
Tom says "Locked and loaded, Chums. Got the sun at our backs!"
Jim says to you guys "Sorry folks, but you'll have to wait to get autographs until we've cleaned up this little mess here. Just stand back and you won't get nicked... Better keep clear, I smell some big explosions in this one! Ha ha!"
Dan says to the Chums "We got margaritas and those Italian chicks waiting back on the Paradise Island boys. Let's do this thing... Chum style!"
The Nameless Warrior does not speak.
...
Actions?
Labels: chums of charon, princess onze
3.16.2007
Info Comes
Okay Azoth, you talk to the Blue Knight.
BK: G'DAY GOVERNOR. NICE DAY INNIT? WELCOME BACK, BLOODY FINE BEAUT OF A RIG YOU GOT THERE NOW.
You ask him what's going on.
BK: OH NOT MUCH YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
You ask him who he is. He looks confused.
BK: EH, BEEN OFF THE FIRM FOR A BIT NOW SQUIRE? WELL LET ME HAVE THE PLEASURE OF MAKING YOUR ACQUAINTANCE AGAIN. NAME'S DODGETT. HEH HEH, NOT DODGE-EY, DODGE-ETT. MICK DODGETT, PRIVATE FIRST CLASS IN TH' BLUE KNIGHTS. OL' STRABO'S SECURITY FORCE, CAN'T COMPLAIN, CAN'T COMPLAIN. KEEPS THE DRAUGHTS FULL AND THE WIFE FAT AND QUIET, EH GOV'NR? HEH HEH.
Huh?
You go for the door.
BK: LET ME GET THAT FOR YA, BRUV.
He opens the door. Looks like this guy is a cop, in metallic blue full plate mail with a dragon emblem on the breastplate.
Inside, you see a little reception area has been set up. The guy's got a card table and a plasma-screen TV. On the TV is a breaking news report.
The local news is showing footage taken by a cellphone camera of a young girl abducted by three strangers. The little girl is Princess Onze! The news says that the Princess has just been kidnapped by three mercenaries near Tzalbourg, on the main island across from Gorgos. On the bottom is a scrolling news flash:
ROYAL FAMILY ISSUES REWARD FOR RETURN OF PRINCESS ONEZ: 20,000 GP
It then cuts to footage of a large dirigible landing in a field, and five cool guys get out... it's the Chums of Charon! A message on the screen says 'LIVE FROM THE PARADISE FAIRY ISLAND... THE CHUMS OF CHARO!'.
A reporter interviews them, and the Chums say that they're off to save the Princess. Fans can read all about it in the next comic book, ha ha. They get back in their airship and fly off.
BK: OH THOSE CHUMS, RUDDY GOOD WORK, INNIT? RUDDY GOOD. DID YOU READ THE LAST ISSUE, 'THE CHUMS OF CHARON AND THE DARING ESCAPE FROM THE MINES OF TITAN!'? FANTASTIC WORK, THAT.
...
Anyway, a large albatross circles overhead a few times before landing, clumsily. It's got a huge helmet on, with all sorts of wires and antennae. KT, it drops something in your hand. It's a package and a note.
Dear the Mr Boss,
Hello from the smely caves!! It is me Mr Stavos Vanilli with my latest new inversion. It is something I think you will be find the liking of this. It is not this bird fellow ha ha!!!! He is the previous new latest best inversion. But the new best is the.... CB!!! You please will find the bird has a CB from you. CB!!!! It stands for 'communications, baby!'!!!!!!!!! Yup!! It is so that I can keep you CB'd of all the latest new developings and informations here in the Twilos Factory. Yes please take the joy out of the CB. I hope you and your wife are doing the best.
Cheers,
Mr. Stavos Vanilli
Sure enough the bird gives you a CB radio and flies away.
BK: G'DAY GOVERNOR. NICE DAY INNIT? WELCOME BACK, BLOODY FINE BEAUT OF A RIG YOU GOT THERE NOW.
You ask him what's going on.
BK: OH NOT MUCH YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?
You ask him who he is. He looks confused.
BK: EH, BEEN OFF THE FIRM FOR A BIT NOW SQUIRE? WELL LET ME HAVE THE PLEASURE OF MAKING YOUR ACQUAINTANCE AGAIN. NAME'S DODGETT. HEH HEH, NOT DODGE-EY, DODGE-ETT. MICK DODGETT, PRIVATE FIRST CLASS IN TH' BLUE KNIGHTS. OL' STRABO'S SECURITY FORCE, CAN'T COMPLAIN, CAN'T COMPLAIN. KEEPS THE DRAUGHTS FULL AND THE WIFE FAT AND QUIET, EH GOV'NR? HEH HEH.
Huh?
You go for the door.
BK: LET ME GET THAT FOR YA, BRUV.
He opens the door. Looks like this guy is a cop, in metallic blue full plate mail with a dragon emblem on the breastplate.
Inside, you see a little reception area has been set up. The guy's got a card table and a plasma-screen TV. On the TV is a breaking news report.
The local news is showing footage taken by a cellphone camera of a young girl abducted by three strangers. The little girl is Princess Onze! The news says that the Princess has just been kidnapped by three mercenaries near Tzalbourg, on the main island across from Gorgos. On the bottom is a scrolling news flash:
ROYAL FAMILY ISSUES REWARD FOR RETURN OF PRINCESS ONEZ: 20,000 GP
It then cuts to footage of a large dirigible landing in a field, and five cool guys get out... it's the Chums of Charon! A message on the screen says 'LIVE FROM THE PARADISE FAIRY ISLAND... THE CHUMS OF CHARO!'.
A reporter interviews them, and the Chums say that they're off to save the Princess. Fans can read all about it in the next comic book, ha ha. They get back in their airship and fly off.
BK: OH THOSE CHUMS, RUDDY GOOD WORK, INNIT? RUDDY GOOD. DID YOU READ THE LAST ISSUE, 'THE CHUMS OF CHARON AND THE DARING ESCAPE FROM THE MINES OF TITAN!'? FANTASTIC WORK, THAT.
...
Anyway, a large albatross circles overhead a few times before landing, clumsily. It's got a huge helmet on, with all sorts of wires and antennae. KT, it drops something in your hand. It's a package and a note.
Dear the Mr Boss,
Hello from the smely caves!! It is me Mr Stavos Vanilli with my latest new inversion. It is something I think you will be find the liking of this. It is not this bird fellow ha ha!!!! He is the previous new latest best inversion. But the new best is the.... CB!!! You please will find the bird has a CB from you. CB!!!! It stands for 'communications, baby!'!!!!!!!!! Yup!! It is so that I can keep you CB'd of all the latest new developings and informations here in the Twilos Factory. Yes please take the joy out of the CB. I hope you and your wife are doing the best.
Cheers,
Mr. Stavos Vanilli
Sure enough the bird gives you a CB radio and flies away.
Labels: blue knight, charo, chums of charon, princess onze, strabo
