6.06.2005
The Conclusion of “B4: Return to Greyhelm” Part I: Back At The Farm
Reaaaaallly long, so this will be another multi-part post. All these scene transitions and wrap-ups require tons of exposition.
Anyway, we begin in the barn of the Vrill Family Farms. The PCs are backed into the large wooden building, surrounded by dead collies and dead women, plus the occasional dead bear or giant owl. Their opponents are three in number: the courageous, handsome, mute Lord Rupert with a sword made of gold (+2 vs. adventurers apparently), the equally handsome Lady Sarah, and of course, the villain of the story, Master Gregory Vrill of the Potion Guild. Vrill isn’t so handsome, because his frock is stained with tears and vomit. But what he lacks in glamour he makes up for in sheer rage.
And the battle’s just about to get interesting, because it’s an object lesson in why sometimes it’s better to fail a saving throw than make one.
Lady Sarah thrusts forth her still-as-of-yet-unidentified (but see below!) holy symbol, strangely loaf-like, casting Cause Fear on you all (it’s a higher level version so it gets three people). Dave and Cinder stand their ground, unafraid of some god’s wrath. But Brogg begins to feel remorse, perhaps at the death of a half-breed like himself! So Brogg gets the hell out of there. As Brogg turns to leave, Vrill yells at Lady Sarah in disgust: “No! Don’t make them run away goddammit… KILL THEM! AUGH!” Brogg, you don’t take complete leave of your senses though, because that last ‘AUGH’ is the sound Vrill makes when you slice him across the stomach for a solid 9 hp. Leaving the barn, you jump on one of those horses just outside to make your escape! And ride off into the night, trying maybe to catch up with Mike the zombie (who fled previously), but just trying to get the hell away and into the woods behind Vrill’s barn.
Those of you still inside note with some satisfaction that Brogg has just added injury to insult, and totally wrecked Vrill’s Potion Guild Master’s robes. No intestines coming out or anything like that, but it’s a pretty bloody laceration. Here’s also a good place to interject and say yeah Dave, you think that Remove Fear would restore a zombie’s confidence in his manhood.
Cinder, the healing potion is 1d8+2, so you’re healed for 3, up to 8/15. You then levitate on up, much like the bobcat about to be summoned, safely out of reach of Lord Rupert’s sword. Dave, that means the sword will be coming your way.
Vrill then drinks a healing potion and Magic Missiles you Cinder, as partial payback for slaughtering his wife. 3 and 5 hp from two missiles, you take 8, dropping you to exactly to 0. Your unconscious body falls to the ground, and you take 1 hp.
I’ll allow Dave to dump the healing potion down your throat as the bobcat is summoned. Cinder, you bounce back with 8/15 hp again and float back on up! The bobcat lazily floats down, hissing and paws aflurry before it even enters the barn. It floats over to Lady Sarah (to disrupt her spell), bapping her once for 3 hp. She keeps the spell though, although she does look surprised. I guess she’s never faced a beastmaster of ODIN before.
Lord Rupert retaliates for siccing your cat on his ladyfriend, by doing another 10 hp to you Dave. You’re down to 6/22. Lady Sarah then drops some logic… some Dispel Magic logic. Cinder, you crash back to earth for another 1 hp, the silence on Lord Rupert is dispelled, much to his vocal pleasure, but the bobcat grits his teeth and manages to stay on this plane! Lord Rupert says “Yes! Now we see who’s god’s power’s MIGHTIEST!”
Either he’s complementing your bobcat on resisting the spell, or just ignoring that piece of data for his hypothesis. Hard to say.
Back in rotation. Cinder, two daggers at Vrill. One hit, spell lost! And one miss. He takes 2 hp. Vrill cusses at you, yelling: “Damn it Meefer! I should’ve known it was you all along! Why?! Why are you doing this?” He then drinks another potion, and breathes fire on you! 10 hp with the fire breath potion! And you’re down again to –2.
It’s a tough call, Fist of Odin. You’re heavily wounded, in plate mail, and Cinder’s down and dropping. In retrospect, it didn’t really matter so much what you did, and you note with satisfaction that you said fuck it, put your trust in Odin and that crazy bobcat, and bashed Vrill’s sad face in. 8 hp. You fracture his left cheek and give him a hell of a black eye. A black face really, it’s totally nasty, he spits out a couple teeth and a lot of blood. Later, you’ll reminisce about Vrill’s face, in slow motion, being clobbered under the weight of that magic mace and the ‘CRRRUNCH’ of skull and sinus cavity collapsing. Bobcat gets in another hit, but spell is kept.
Lord Rupert then takes a step back and says: “Sir priest… I welcome this challenge. You and your friends have been worthy adversaries, but now the time has come to end this battle. Do not fear, though, I shall not take your life… I take PITY on you.” And it occurs to you just who you’re actually fighting… this is a Paladin of Isaac of the Jug, God of Pity! That loaf-like, turd-like emblem on his untouched tabard is meant to be a JUG! It all kind of makes sense, except for the part where you’re fighting a paladin who’s working with Vrill. Anyway, he attacks to subdue you, slamming the golden hilt of his magic sword into your forehead. And down you go.
Anyway, we begin in the barn of the Vrill Family Farms. The PCs are backed into the large wooden building, surrounded by dead collies and dead women, plus the occasional dead bear or giant owl. Their opponents are three in number: the courageous, handsome, mute Lord Rupert with a sword made of gold (+2 vs. adventurers apparently), the equally handsome Lady Sarah, and of course, the villain of the story, Master Gregory Vrill of the Potion Guild. Vrill isn’t so handsome, because his frock is stained with tears and vomit. But what he lacks in glamour he makes up for in sheer rage.
And the battle’s just about to get interesting, because it’s an object lesson in why sometimes it’s better to fail a saving throw than make one.
Lady Sarah thrusts forth her still-as-of-yet-unidentified (but see below!) holy symbol, strangely loaf-like, casting Cause Fear on you all (it’s a higher level version so it gets three people). Dave and Cinder stand their ground, unafraid of some god’s wrath. But Brogg begins to feel remorse, perhaps at the death of a half-breed like himself! So Brogg gets the hell out of there. As Brogg turns to leave, Vrill yells at Lady Sarah in disgust: “No! Don’t make them run away goddammit… KILL THEM! AUGH!” Brogg, you don’t take complete leave of your senses though, because that last ‘AUGH’ is the sound Vrill makes when you slice him across the stomach for a solid 9 hp. Leaving the barn, you jump on one of those horses just outside to make your escape! And ride off into the night, trying maybe to catch up with Mike the zombie (who fled previously), but just trying to get the hell away and into the woods behind Vrill’s barn.
Those of you still inside note with some satisfaction that Brogg has just added injury to insult, and totally wrecked Vrill’s Potion Guild Master’s robes. No intestines coming out or anything like that, but it’s a pretty bloody laceration. Here’s also a good place to interject and say yeah Dave, you think that Remove Fear would restore a zombie’s confidence in his manhood.
Cinder, the healing potion is 1d8+2, so you’re healed for 3, up to 8/15. You then levitate on up, much like the bobcat about to be summoned, safely out of reach of Lord Rupert’s sword. Dave, that means the sword will be coming your way.
Vrill then drinks a healing potion and Magic Missiles you Cinder, as partial payback for slaughtering his wife. 3 and 5 hp from two missiles, you take 8, dropping you to exactly to 0. Your unconscious body falls to the ground, and you take 1 hp.
I’ll allow Dave to dump the healing potion down your throat as the bobcat is summoned. Cinder, you bounce back with 8/15 hp again and float back on up! The bobcat lazily floats down, hissing and paws aflurry before it even enters the barn. It floats over to Lady Sarah (to disrupt her spell), bapping her once for 3 hp. She keeps the spell though, although she does look surprised. I guess she’s never faced a beastmaster of ODIN before.
Lord Rupert retaliates for siccing your cat on his ladyfriend, by doing another 10 hp to you Dave. You’re down to 6/22. Lady Sarah then drops some logic… some Dispel Magic logic. Cinder, you crash back to earth for another 1 hp, the silence on Lord Rupert is dispelled, much to his vocal pleasure, but the bobcat grits his teeth and manages to stay on this plane! Lord Rupert says “Yes! Now we see who’s god’s power’s MIGHTIEST!”
Either he’s complementing your bobcat on resisting the spell, or just ignoring that piece of data for his hypothesis. Hard to say.
Back in rotation. Cinder, two daggers at Vrill. One hit, spell lost! And one miss. He takes 2 hp. Vrill cusses at you, yelling: “Damn it Meefer! I should’ve known it was you all along! Why?! Why are you doing this?” He then drinks another potion, and breathes fire on you! 10 hp with the fire breath potion! And you’re down again to –2.
It’s a tough call, Fist of Odin. You’re heavily wounded, in plate mail, and Cinder’s down and dropping. In retrospect, it didn’t really matter so much what you did, and you note with satisfaction that you said fuck it, put your trust in Odin and that crazy bobcat, and bashed Vrill’s sad face in. 8 hp. You fracture his left cheek and give him a hell of a black eye. A black face really, it’s totally nasty, he spits out a couple teeth and a lot of blood. Later, you’ll reminisce about Vrill’s face, in slow motion, being clobbered under the weight of that magic mace and the ‘CRRRUNCH’ of skull and sinus cavity collapsing. Bobcat gets in another hit, but spell is kept.
Lord Rupert then takes a step back and says: “Sir priest… I welcome this challenge. You and your friends have been worthy adversaries, but now the time has come to end this battle. Do not fear, though, I shall not take your life… I take PITY on you.” And it occurs to you just who you’re actually fighting… this is a Paladin of Isaac of the Jug, God of Pity! That loaf-like, turd-like emblem on his untouched tabard is meant to be a JUG! It all kind of makes sense, except for the part where you’re fighting a paladin who’s working with Vrill. Anyway, he attacks to subdue you, slamming the golden hilt of his magic sword into your forehead. And down you go.
