4.20.2007
  And There Was A Midget, In The Closet
We cut to a scene of R. KELLY sitting in an EXECUTIVE-STYLE CHAIR in a dark room. He's watching the events of DiD on a BIG-SCREEN TV. He narrates this encounter through a SLOW-JAM...


R. KELLY: He looks around the office, and says "Something is really weird"
PCs says "Why do you say that?" He says "cos you keep tryin' to get me outta here"
He says "Ever since I been in this house your face has went from white to red
and remember when I first walked through the door you acted like you had seen a ghost from the dead"

Then he says "PCs if you hidin' something i'm gonna be so mad"
Then he hears something fallin he says "What the fuck was that?"
PCs says "It sound like it came from upstairs, sounds like the plumbing"
He said "That sound did not come from upstairs, I'll be damned if you're not up to something"

"The sound that i just heard, it came from this office," and then he looks over by the desk
While PCs easin' over by the window and then he walks over to the desk and pushes it back,
And then he looks in their faces, looks like they about to have a heart-attack, then he notices the pie on the desk
One slice is missing, now the stories gettin' scary, cos he comes to realize that the Princess is allergic to cherry.

Then he slowly looks up at em and now they faces is red as hell, he's breathing real hard,
movin' closer, they says "Son you don't look so well"
And then he says "move"
They says "no"
He says "move"
They says "no"
"BITCHES MOVE!!!" PCs move, and then he looks at the closet,
He walks to the closet, he's close to the closet, now he's opening the closet.
Now pause the movie cos what i'm about to say to ya'll is so damn twisted,
Not only is there a man in his closet, but the man... is a MIDGET!

...

KT: Az healed up to 1 hp. Thren healed up to 9 hp.

Guard Captain rushes Thren and Dag with sword. Dag gets one hit in. Guard Captain hits Thren once for 12 hp, back down to -3 hp.

...

Princess Theodore rushes out of the closet. Uh, let's see who believes it. Two guards do.

Okay Theo, two guards chase after you. Where you goin'?

...

R. KELLY: Now the midget jumps outta the closet and stomps the policemen on his toe
The policemen hoppin around on one leg screamin "son of bitch" while he runs under the table
He yells ''freeze'' dives over the table and lands on the midget...while the midget is kickin
real fast screamin out "Princess, Princess!"
She yells "darlin don't hurt em'"
He says "Princess get yo' ass back..." then he continue to ruff up the midget as if the midget was under attack...

Then Princess runs up to her room, goes in her purse and pulls a number out...
The police puts him on the table and yells "Man, what the hell you doin' in my house?!"
He whips cherry pie crust off his mouth and says "Man, i was paid not to tell you"
Then the police pulls his gun out and yells "Trespassin man I got the right to shoot you."
The midget says "Mister, the man that payed me to do this would kill me if i tell"
He points the gun in his face, the midget say ''God i think i just shitted on myself''

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