Threnody I step up on stage. I've been talking to the sound guy, giving him some coin (I think I had a little coin...) and getting ready to step up.

But, you know, I wait my turn. Now? Is it . . . nope. Okay, that's cool. Now? Yeah?

The music goes down to just a throbbing kind of hum. There's me, my bow and a mic, and one spot. If I can get the chanting or the piano, all the better - but if not, I got something slow and low.

There's a pause to let the audience settle down.

(The following three lines are taken directly from Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats", and is sung as such without permission. Suck it, Andy.)

Memories
All alone in the moonlight
Has the moon lost her memories...

Memories..... (The beat comes up)

Memories! (Getting louder now...)

MEMORIES! (Full on scratching, bass, maybe a guitar track, even)

I remember the time I was outta this place
Cuttin' bass, in yo' face, and we winnin' the race
Other elves be too snotty so I left that joint
Met some fighters mages priests, a cavalier on point
But th' shit went down, we got fucked by the crown
And now we kick it old school in J-Ro's town.

That's right - WHAT? - I hear you fuckin' say.
You not callin' him or fightin'? You just givin' it away?
That's what I'm sayin to ya, and I'll say it twice,
This motherfuckin' city is the opposite of nice.

Now all y'all in Twilos feel what I'm layin' down?
No dinero mio Dios and we wearin' the frown
To the chicas and hermanos livin' small and livin' too close
J-Ro's a clown in a gown and he's frontin' the mos'

I mean really. I look around the city
None of us got anything and this place ain't pretty
You there sister - when the last you saw a flower?
The only time I seen one's on an homie's bower
After we put the dude down. It's a hard-knock town.
We gettin' shitty every hour and that's our reknown.

Now brother - yeah you with the bling
I ain't knockin' you man 'cuz you doin' the thing
You gettin paid, make it through
Gettin' laid, do the do
But I made me a to-do
And J-Ro I'm talkin' to you
Me and mine are gettin' out and you oughtta do too.

I mean look at us here - we livin' poor, just gettin' by
But gettin through in crappy Twilos shows our skilz be fly
I'm talkin' dope-ass, man and we got crazy ways
So why the hell we put up with the wage this place pays?

Now look at them drow
They showed us how
They got armor they got steel and they on the now
Why ain't that us? 'Cuz we ain't no scrubs
We wanna be boss in a place that wears us down to nubs?

What I'm talkin', J-Ro is you might be boss here
And my way isn't hatin', you rhymz go loud and clear
But is this the place we wanna call home?
Just 'cuz you got homies it ain't no crib, J-Rome

I ain't pretty over here. My style be kinda wack.
You want the rhymes? Look at K-Tut and the gnome-from-the-back
You want someone up here gonna make us feel nice?
Then we all as bad as the rats and the mice.
That's what I'm layin' down and I hope you comprehend
That this ugly, scarred bitch ain't gonna pretend

You say you're boss of Twilos and we been through the shit
I say hey hey that's not legit
You all restin, you all all sittin', you look 'bout to quit
I'm gonna hit it gonna quit it got somewhere to get

I look out at y'all
Poverty like a wall
Twilos makes us and it breaks us - we gonna keep bein' small?
Maybe there's another way
Maybe gonna get some pay
And Twilos ain't killed us
So we gonna find a way

So we gotta find a way....

So we gotta.....

(Classic rock guitar sample!)

We gotta get outta this place
We gotta get outta this motherfuckin' place
Twilos ain't killed us yet and we still got face
All us rude gels and boys get OUTTA THIS PLACE!

I remember fresh water, I remember trees
And the birds and the bees - all the shit's at it's ease
Are you sick of scrapin' by? Are you done on your knees?
Sister please, don't tease, we gotta fight that disease

My memories fuck me up and they keep me alive
And this bad-ass elf bitch keeps her eyes on the prize
So J-Ro you can have it take this shit hole off my hands
'Cuz you got stuck here but I'm off to other lands
Bring some fans, shake our cans, cut our way out with knives

Yeah I remember other times, does anyone else?
Just 'cuz I'm an elf don't mean my rhymes cast Melfs

And if what I'm layin' down makes you frown, gets you down
You gotta look at where you at, sugar - you in Twilos town
And since you made it here, you be good anywhere
Breathe fresh air, wash your hair....

Shit!

(The beat's slowing down back to where it started...)

My memories fuck me up.
All alone in the moonlight
And smilin' alone
I remember a time
I knew what happiness was

And look a new day
And look the DJ
And this MC's way (passing the mic...)

HAS BEGUN!  ¶ 10:26 PM