King Tut
Screw that, even the gnome admitted that he had been kicked in the nuts. The incident is past-tense now, my friend of the bruised nut. I Fairie Fire the gnome's nuts. "Have a good time at the rave, you undersized Shit McNugget."
Then I'll follow him so he can get all cracked up.
I like the sound of the druidic samurai pirate.