Master Gregory Vrill MPG, Guildmaster of the Grito/Greyhelm Potion Guild, Lord of the Dreamworld, PC KILLER
Wait a sec D)ick M)uncher. I'm only abiding by the rules YOU outlined. I'M ONLY trying to STAY ALIVE. Then you go and change the rules on me? God I wish I could just fireball YOU.
And wait, so because Renwick's not logging on, I can't target him either with spells? He just gets a free pass through the combat, skipping sweetly down the godamn yellowbrick road while I FIGHT FOR MY LIFE??!!! That is 100% UNFAIR.
Well let me take a free action, which otherwise might have been consumed with something like DRINKING A POTION EXCEPT WHOOPS THE LAWS OF PHYSICS CHANGE FROM ONE COMBAT ROUND TO ANOTHER JUST BECAUSE BROGG HAS A HISSY FIT AND SHITS HIS DRAWERS.
I proclaim the following words to the PCs as a sort of eulogy for their sad lives.
"
Because you took advantage of an Alchemistbecause you took advantagebecause you took my magic itemsbecause you took advantage of my disadvantage . . .when I stood at 4th level in Gritobefore Greyhelm law and all its singing starsBecause you took advantage of my daughterwhen owlbears were helpless moulting moist and tenderhoping for the bestdreaming of selling border collies to the Grito guardaye of a litter of half-elf AbbeysBecause you took advantage of my inneressential innocencebecause you cheated meBecause you cheated me of my redemptionbecause you killedowlbearsand destroyed a weather station anda little downy girl still wearing poppiesstill eating popcorn in the colored gloamwhere tawny kobolds took paid coppersbecause you stole herfrom her wax-browed and dignified magic-user protectorspitting into his heavy-lidded eyeripping his flavid toga and at dawnleaving the mage to roll upon his new discomfortthe awfulness of love and potionsremorse despair while youtook a little half-elf oracular girl to piecesand threw her body awaybecause of all you didbecause of all I did notYOU HAVE TO DIE"
...Wait a sec. So if Renwick just doesn't post, he drops out... he can't be MADE to do anything, and he can't be attacked? Well I see then. That's actually very interesting.