9.18.2006
Dave, Fist of Odin
Hey Brogg - nice moves there, but your presentation could use a little work. Check this out:
To hit: BR 20. Aww Yeah!
Dex check: BR 4.
INT check: BR 8. I see what's up with that shield.
Cha check: BR 10. Just barely!
And what the hell - Wis check 14.
Here's what happens.
I kind of lumber over to Queenie in my heavy armor and all, looking a little tired, maybe, from the weight of the world and the gear and all the casting that's gone on. Like, I look a little resigned to some clobbering, I guess, but maybe it's getting old.
Don't worry - it's just part of the act. I still love to clobber!
When I get to her I stop and say, "Do you remember what your aunt used to do to you? In the middle of the night, when you were too scared to scream?" (that's the WIS check). Then when she's off balance, I spring into action. I bring my shield up so the edge of it is even with her face, and bring my mace hand around the back of her head to push her face right into it. 'Cuz of her shield thing, see - I'm all out of Lazguns, so I'm getting creative. Yup, that's the crit. Her rotten face gets clocked right into the edge of the shield, and gets a double whammy of inertia (that's the INT check).
Then as I'm pulling my weapons out of her shield, my mace hands RIPS OFF HER EAR. That's the Dex.
Finally, I spin around in a Michael Jackson kind of move, grabbing myself a little, and say, "That's how we roll it Odin-style, bitch - Fist to Queen's motherfucking ear - CHECK, douchebag." Sure, not the best line, but I only just barely made the CHA.
Oh - and BR 2 for damage. That's ... let's see. 2+1 (mace) +1 (STR) +1 (clobbering) +2 (magic) = 7, x2 for the crit for 14 points of damage. Not my best work, but it'll do.
Next round? BR 1. Ah, well - I guess I shouldn't strike a pose and shit, but just go in and jack some bitch in the face.
To hit: BR 20. Aww Yeah!
Dex check: BR 4.
INT check: BR 8. I see what's up with that shield.
Cha check: BR 10. Just barely!
And what the hell - Wis check 14.
Here's what happens.
I kind of lumber over to Queenie in my heavy armor and all, looking a little tired, maybe, from the weight of the world and the gear and all the casting that's gone on. Like, I look a little resigned to some clobbering, I guess, but maybe it's getting old.
Don't worry - it's just part of the act. I still love to clobber!
When I get to her I stop and say, "Do you remember what your aunt used to do to you? In the middle of the night, when you were too scared to scream?" (that's the WIS check). Then when she's off balance, I spring into action. I bring my shield up so the edge of it is even with her face, and bring my mace hand around the back of her head to push her face right into it. 'Cuz of her shield thing, see - I'm all out of Lazguns, so I'm getting creative. Yup, that's the crit. Her rotten face gets clocked right into the edge of the shield, and gets a double whammy of inertia (that's the INT check).
Then as I'm pulling my weapons out of her shield, my mace hands RIPS OFF HER EAR. That's the Dex.
Finally, I spin around in a Michael Jackson kind of move, grabbing myself a little, and say, "That's how we roll it Odin-style, bitch - Fist to Queen's motherfucking ear - CHECK, douchebag." Sure, not the best line, but I only just barely made the CHA.
Oh - and BR 2 for damage. That's ... let's see. 2+1 (mace) +1 (STR) +1 (clobbering) +2 (magic) = 7, x2 for the crit for 14 points of damage. Not my best work, but it'll do.
Next round? BR 1. Ah, well - I guess I shouldn't strike a pose and shit, but just go in and jack some bitch in the face.
