6.15.2006
Second Edition Was So Lame, It Was Like, "There Aren't Any Demons Any More, They're Called 'Tanar'ri Fiends'" 400% RETARDED
Ya, gimme some time here to get the fourth circle summon list up and running. For those of you playing along at home, expect temporary delays for the next couple of days, but I'll post when I can.
Aid and a badger coming right up. The badger hits the ground running, as badgers do, and totally fucks up the giant's shit. Fucks it up for 3 hp. God I'd be lost without the italics tag. Badger gets in another smack the next round for 4 hp. That's 4 hp LARGE. He's all fur and fangs everywhere, around the giant's ankle.
Schmektor misses on round 2. Hey, you're 1st level, no one expects that much.
The giant takes his third round to drop a boulder on the badger. So ends the saga of the badger. Nasty badger juice leaks out from under the boulder. The giant laughs.
"Ho ho, did you hear the one about the... what was that, some kinda dog? The one about the dog a giant dropped a boulder on? His name was Stew."
Brogg, you're up to 9 hp with a +1 to hit from that Aid. From ZELBA. Dave FoO, I'll assume you CLW Brogg, for 6 more, putting Brogg at 15 hp. The giant in round 4 then swings at you... BR 3 is a miss.
Marivhon, damage accrued. The giant's not looking all that great.
Coming into round 5- do all you want, peoples- Dave FoO, the giant takes his club and slams it down so hard on your foot. You take 10 hp and GOD does it sting. You know how like your toes just kill when you bang them on a table leg? Imagine a giant BANGED THE TABLE LEG ON YOU. That's gotta hurt. You retaliate with 7 more hp, skinning the giant's knee with your mace.
...
By the way, yeah sure, Clerics can use staff slings, another great Unearthed Arcana cheesy-as-hell weapon. And Negotiations is a fine NWP, although you won't probably get much use out of it on this module. Because it's fuckin D3: Fight the Giant, not D3: Let's All Talk About Our Feelings and Try to Work It Out With the Giant. That's a second edition module.
Tard Card makes me laugh. And okay, it's a walled, barred cart. A big ass mule pulls it.
'Free Grettin Card' also is good. I mean, shit. You're an ettin, and you're forever living in the same body with your retarded twin brother. Wouldn't you want to be free too? So Free Grettin is super rare, because the Church of Grisbane officially banned it, too sensitive a topic.
Finally, sigh. Alright, for the love of... last time people, so listen up. THERE IS NO JUG FUCKING IN THIS CAMPAIGN. Are we clear?
NO JUG FUCKING HERE. Maybe try Mark's haiku blog, just two doors down. Or Scraps Ahoy: www.scrapsahoy.com. Tons of jug fucking there, kids. SRSLY.
Aid and a badger coming right up. The badger hits the ground running, as badgers do, and totally fucks up the giant's shit. Fucks it up for 3 hp. God I'd be lost without the italics tag. Badger gets in another smack the next round for 4 hp. That's 4 hp LARGE. He's all fur and fangs everywhere, around the giant's ankle.
Schmektor misses on round 2. Hey, you're 1st level, no one expects that much.
The giant takes his third round to drop a boulder on the badger. So ends the saga of the badger. Nasty badger juice leaks out from under the boulder. The giant laughs.
"Ho ho, did you hear the one about the... what was that, some kinda dog? The one about the dog a giant dropped a boulder on? His name was Stew."
Brogg, you're up to 9 hp with a +1 to hit from that Aid. From ZELBA. Dave FoO, I'll assume you CLW Brogg, for 6 more, putting Brogg at 15 hp. The giant in round 4 then swings at you... BR 3 is a miss.
Marivhon, damage accrued. The giant's not looking all that great.
Coming into round 5- do all you want, peoples- Dave FoO, the giant takes his club and slams it down so hard on your foot. You take 10 hp and GOD does it sting. You know how like your toes just kill when you bang them on a table leg? Imagine a giant BANGED THE TABLE LEG ON YOU. That's gotta hurt. You retaliate with 7 more hp, skinning the giant's knee with your mace.
...
By the way, yeah sure, Clerics can use staff slings, another great Unearthed Arcana cheesy-as-hell weapon. And Negotiations is a fine NWP, although you won't probably get much use out of it on this module. Because it's fuckin D3: Fight the Giant, not D3: Let's All Talk About Our Feelings and Try to Work It Out With the Giant. That's a second edition module.
Tard Card makes me laugh. And okay, it's a walled, barred cart. A big ass mule pulls it.
'Free Grettin Card' also is good. I mean, shit. You're an ettin, and you're forever living in the same body with your retarded twin brother. Wouldn't you want to be free too? So Free Grettin is super rare, because the Church of Grisbane officially banned it, too sensitive a topic.
Finally, sigh. Alright, for the love of... last time people, so listen up. THERE IS NO JUG FUCKING IN THIS CAMPAIGN. Are we clear?
NO JUG FUCKING HERE. Maybe try Mark's haiku blog, just two doors down. Or Scraps Ahoy: www.scrapsahoy.com. Tons of jug fucking there, kids. SRSLY.
