Day 1, Evening: The Carbuncle's Battle Okay Brogg, you buy the crystals. (There's only one set of those.) Here are four 'healthy' slaves, take your pick:

El Greco the centaur (1st level ranger)
Bartleby the bugbear (1st level barbarian)
Slath Slathar the lizard man (1st level fighter)
Raistlin (!) Crenshaw, the human (1st level bard)

Some good choices there I think.

You can't just apply the crystals, now you have to find a magic blacksmith to upgrade your weapon.

...

Back in real time...

The first lizard man:
Don't call me lizard man one
Got a backstory five pages long
You'll listen up til I done
When I'm done with this song

Here's my shield, my broadsword
And my THACO roll, son.
Uh never you mind, pass the mic
Cause I just rolled a 1.

Lizard man 2:
Uh I'm L-Dogg the gangsta
Rockin a big ass harpoon
Rippin rhymes, robbin banks-ta
Finance this tune.

Load it up and it's hot
I'm the d20 sage
Roll a 12 and I shot
Your retarded mage.

That's 8 point bro, a lot
And you be tied on to my gun
Make a ST check? Or not
An now you can't run
L.M!

Carlos L.M.:
Get my drink on, a potion
And I heal for six
A free action, in motion
Cause I'm wearin' phat kicks

My keen spear is berserking
Spears gone wild! Out of control!
Rolled another 18, yup!
I said, that's how I roll.

Now your thief takes another
12 hp this time
I fuckin got your mortal coil
Wrapped up in my rhyme.

The carbuncle sighs happily. "Oh noes! You guys really just shouldn't be fighting over my little, very valuable ruby!"  ¶ 3:00 PM