2.01.2006
The Return Of...
Right as Brogg and John Romeo are battling it out, one of the judges stands up with the microphone, and begins to say:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce that the winner of this showdown is..."
But right then, right at that key moment, the building begins to shake. Everyone looks around confused... what is going on? A rumbling sound grows louder and louder, until finally there's a huge crash, and the back wall splits open! Through the crowd, and the smoke, and debris, this Radio Flyer red wagon hurtles towards the stage at high velocity. It loses some speed, hits a bump, sending its cargo flying into the center of the room.
There's a large lump of something covered in cloth.
A hush falls over the crowd. John Romeo stares in disbelief.
The cloth comes to life, turning into... a flag, no, a cloak, no... a strange shimmering evening gown. And standing in the middle of the floor is a tall woman... made of crystal!
Stepping out of the wagon to join her side is none other than...
The crystal diva begins to sing in a beautiful, beautiful voice.
Who be the one they call Crystal De-lite? It’s the G man
Who be the one that I call every night? G man
Who be the one that will win every fight? G man
Who be the one that hold me so tight? G man
Listen, mmm…. he’s got a smooth style
I’m preparing to watch all the ladies go wild
For my man the unbreakable, unfatigueable G
So put em up for the hero of this epic story
Then of course we have another:
I need no introdunction For your flava-free dys-function
Just a mic For col’ mic rockin Rhyme a-jockin up this junction
My gumption is quite somethin’ Bumpin’ humpin’ while I’m thumpin
Plump-n-pouty hos a-go-gos Yo’s I get this party jumpin’.
In-a case-a you forgetta I’m the one who make ya sweat-a
With my rhymes-a like Rosetta They the keystone for ya pleash-a
Fresh-n-tasty like pro-shetta or some feta, make it betta
So-a fella Fuck vendetta Just-a listen to my yella.
Crystal G if you plee thass wha yo lady call me
And I’m imparting for free Jus some knowl you might nee
Waive your fee so you see It is me who be he
Not for crowns or gps but smooth trooths for puss-ee.
When you listen to me You lose your virginity
You wan this rhyme’s baby An pay me Beaucoup gp
Yo’ lady sex me fo free Turn her over my knee
Hit it smack in the back Til she goin cray-zee
You may call me Crys G, Ph-D, The mi-tee
Take a sea- over there in the back by Heidi
My Ass Class comes to pass so start shakin boo-tee
Com-fee? Then bon nuit, Listen up to the G.
I’ve returned from the future with an unassailable rhyme
With flavor so young and so fresh in forty states it’s a crime
And now you may wonder why I’ve come back in time
I gotta clean up the streets and get you suckas in line
This con-test just a test of my patience and thirst
For some real rhyme jocks who can step up, and first,
Rock a party complete, from yo head to yo feet
And two, do what I do, like I do, hella sweet.
I’m like the tornado rippin down your rhyme trailer
Hurricane G they call me, Your rap judge and your jailor
Science produced my new flavor Shit I’m rap’s fucking savior
Studied booty behavior So read my thesis, ‘k? Later.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce that the winner of this showdown is..."
But right then, right at that key moment, the building begins to shake. Everyone looks around confused... what is going on? A rumbling sound grows louder and louder, until finally there's a huge crash, and the back wall splits open! Through the crowd, and the smoke, and debris, this Radio Flyer red wagon hurtles towards the stage at high velocity. It loses some speed, hits a bump, sending its cargo flying into the center of the room.
There's a large lump of something covered in cloth.
A hush falls over the crowd. John Romeo stares in disbelief.
The cloth comes to life, turning into... a flag, no, a cloak, no... a strange shimmering evening gown. And standing in the middle of the floor is a tall woman... made of crystal!
Stepping out of the wagon to join her side is none other than...
The crystal diva begins to sing in a beautiful, beautiful voice.
Who be the one they call Crystal De-lite? It’s the G man
Who be the one that I call every night? G man
Who be the one that will win every fight? G man
Who be the one that hold me so tight? G man
Listen, mmm…. he’s got a smooth style
I’m preparing to watch all the ladies go wild
For my man the unbreakable, unfatigueable G
So put em up for the hero of this epic story
Then of course we have another:
I need no introdunction For your flava-free dys-function
Just a mic For col’ mic rockin Rhyme a-jockin up this junction
My gumption is quite somethin’ Bumpin’ humpin’ while I’m thumpin
Plump-n-pouty hos a-go-gos Yo’s I get this party jumpin’.
In-a case-a you forgetta I’m the one who make ya sweat-a
With my rhymes-a like Rosetta They the keystone for ya pleash-a
Fresh-n-tasty like pro-shetta or some feta, make it betta
So-a fella Fuck vendetta Just-a listen to my yella.
Crystal G if you plee thass wha yo lady call me
And I’m imparting for free Jus some knowl you might nee
Waive your fee so you see It is me who be he
Not for crowns or gps but smooth trooths for puss-ee.
When you listen to me You lose your virginity
You wan this rhyme’s baby An pay me Beaucoup gp
Yo’ lady sex me fo free Turn her over my knee
Hit it smack in the back Til she goin cray-zee
You may call me Crys G, Ph-D, The mi-tee
Take a sea- over there in the back by Heidi
My Ass Class comes to pass so start shakin boo-tee
Com-fee? Then bon nuit, Listen up to the G.
I’ve returned from the future with an unassailable rhyme
With flavor so young and so fresh in forty states it’s a crime
And now you may wonder why I’ve come back in time
I gotta clean up the streets and get you suckas in line
This con-test just a test of my patience and thirst
For some real rhyme jocks who can step up, and first,
Rock a party complete, from yo head to yo feet
And two, do what I do, like I do, hella sweet.
I’m like the tornado rippin down your rhyme trailer
Hurricane G they call me, Your rap judge and your jailor
Science produced my new flavor Shit I’m rap’s fucking savior
Studied booty behavior So read my thesis, ‘k? Later.
