1.10.2006
Cinder's Dream
Scene 1. A well-adorned office.
MASTER STEVE: (Seated at desk.) Hmm. (Speaking with a different, older and familiar voice.) Well, this is a pretty pickle, isn’t it? Wouldn’t you say? A pretty… pickle. Indeed. (Puts hands together, fingers form a bridge, leans his chin into it.)
(Cinder remains silent, arms crossed, glaring at the guildmaster.)
MASTER STEVE: So, you think you can do it? Heh heh, I’m sure for a man of your… talents, these things are easy. Just like riding a bicycle. Not a problem. Am I right?
(No response.)
MASTER STEVE: Of course I am. Well, here you go. (Hands five parchments to Cinder. Cinder casually regards them, folds them up, places them in a pouch. Gets up to go.)
MASTER STEVE: Oh! Good luck!
(Exit Cinder.)
…
Scene 2. Cottage interior. Simple. A fire is in the fireplace.
RENWICK: (Warming hands by the fire.) Hoo! What a nigt! I’ll be glad to memorize some spells after that on!
(Marivhon, seated, glares at him. Uncomfortable, changes his seating.)
RENWICK: (Looks at the sleeve of his robe.) Yup, that was some good times. I think I got some dirt on this rob though.
(Marivhon glares again. Pause. Suddenly, Marivhon turns and looks out the window. Stands and moves quickly over to it.)
RENWICK: (Somewhat alarmed.) Hey did you here something? (Stands up, faces window.)
(Cinder becomes visible directly behind Renwick. Pulls out two swords, cuts Renwick’s throat. Renwick crumples to the ground, and Marivhon spins, facing the assassin. Marivhon does a flip in the air, but Cinder turns around, sticks out his swords, and Marivhon lands on them. Falls to the ground. Cinder places a boot on Marivhon’s chest, turns the sword in its place, then slowly, maliciously, pulls out the blade. Looks at audience. Beat. Cinder then pulls out the parchments from his pouch, ruffles through them, and throws two into the fire. Steps outside and closes the door.)
…
Scene 3. Cottage exterior. It is winter.
BROGG: (Entering with Mike the zombie.) Hey Mike, what do you know? The guys got a fire going. Ha ha, all by themselves! (Cue laugh track. Close-up, Mike the zombie’s face, mouth open distorted look of amazement. More laughs.)
BROGG: (Pausing, concerned.) It’s awfully quiet though, wouldn’t you say? (Looks at Mike.) Oh, no wait, sorry, you wouldn’t say… because you’re a zombie! (Laughter.)
(Mike the zombie opens his tote bag and pulls out a spyglass. Looks through the window. Drops spyglass in horror. Points to window frantically, trying to communicate with Brogg.)
BROGG: What is it boy? (Mocking.) Timmy’s in the well? (Laffs.) What? What’s that you say? (Trying to follow Mike’s gestures.) The guys… the guys are… they’re dead… lying in… a pool of blood? (Beat. Zoom-in Brogg. Look of shock.) Wait a sec… (loudly) THE GUYS ARE DEAD?!
(Cinder steps out from behind a tree, slowly. Looks down at his bloody sword. Brogg is stupefied by Mike’s gestures. Mike spots Cinder, and begins gesturing again wildly.)
BROGG: Uh, this isn’t good! What is it this time? Wait, you’re saying, behind me… a man… bad man… (Cinder stalks up slowly, going on tiptoes in an exaggerated manner. Laugh-track.) There’s a bad man behind me who’s going to kill me?
(Brogg turns around, his neck turning along Cinder’s sword. Brogg clutches his throat and recoils, stumbling backwards. Watches the rest of the scene while he sinks to his knees gurgling. Mike the zombie begins to back away. Cinder feints left, feints right, toying with the zombie like a cat with a mouse. Finally, Mike turns and runs, but Cinder trips him. Mike gets to his kness and begins to crawl away, but falls, and turns over onto his back. Cinder pulls out a crossbow and shoots Mike in the leg. Mike clutches his leg in pain. Cinder reloads, walks up, stands over Mike. Mike looks up, close-up of his face, pleading. Pan out, Cinder shoots Mike in the arm. Cinder tosses crossbow aside. Pulls out small hunting knife. Brogg falls over dead in the snow, as red blood forms halo around his body. Cinder kneels over Mike, knife gleaming in the moonlight, zoom out as the skinning begins…)
…
Scene 4. A forest.
DAVE, FIST OF ODIN: (Standing over four grave markers. Blesses them.) Praise be, and may their souls battle eternally in the glorious halls of Valhalla. Except for Brogg, who should probably go hang out with Grisbane.
(Cinder suddenly materializes and stabs him through the chest with both blades.)
DAVE, FIST OF ODIN: (Screaming as he dies.) Oh shit! Odin help me… (Dies.)
(Cinder turns, pulls out parchment out of pouch. Doesn’t notice giant gate opening on stage right, until there’s a clap of thunder and Odin materializes.)
CINDER: Oh shi… (Odin crushes him with a giant hammer.)
(Odin tosses hammer aside, glances around the stage. Nonchalantly, lightly taps Dave Fist of Odin’s body with toe of boot. Shrugs. Looks back at glowing gate, still open. Looks into camera. Begins to smile, adjusts tie.)
ODIN: Huh huh. Hey, did you hear the one about…
(Curtains.)
MASTER STEVE: (Seated at desk.) Hmm. (Speaking with a different, older and familiar voice.) Well, this is a pretty pickle, isn’t it? Wouldn’t you say? A pretty… pickle. Indeed. (Puts hands together, fingers form a bridge, leans his chin into it.)
(Cinder remains silent, arms crossed, glaring at the guildmaster.)
MASTER STEVE: So, you think you can do it? Heh heh, I’m sure for a man of your… talents, these things are easy. Just like riding a bicycle. Not a problem. Am I right?
(No response.)
MASTER STEVE: Of course I am. Well, here you go. (Hands five parchments to Cinder. Cinder casually regards them, folds them up, places them in a pouch. Gets up to go.)
MASTER STEVE: Oh! Good luck!
(Exit Cinder.)
…
Scene 2. Cottage interior. Simple. A fire is in the fireplace.
RENWICK: (Warming hands by the fire.) Hoo! What a nigt! I’ll be glad to memorize some spells after that on!
(Marivhon, seated, glares at him. Uncomfortable, changes his seating.)
RENWICK: (Looks at the sleeve of his robe.) Yup, that was some good times. I think I got some dirt on this rob though.
(Marivhon glares again. Pause. Suddenly, Marivhon turns and looks out the window. Stands and moves quickly over to it.)
RENWICK: (Somewhat alarmed.) Hey did you here something? (Stands up, faces window.)
(Cinder becomes visible directly behind Renwick. Pulls out two swords, cuts Renwick’s throat. Renwick crumples to the ground, and Marivhon spins, facing the assassin. Marivhon does a flip in the air, but Cinder turns around, sticks out his swords, and Marivhon lands on them. Falls to the ground. Cinder places a boot on Marivhon’s chest, turns the sword in its place, then slowly, maliciously, pulls out the blade. Looks at audience. Beat. Cinder then pulls out the parchments from his pouch, ruffles through them, and throws two into the fire. Steps outside and closes the door.)
…
Scene 3. Cottage exterior. It is winter.
BROGG: (Entering with Mike the zombie.) Hey Mike, what do you know? The guys got a fire going. Ha ha, all by themselves! (Cue laugh track. Close-up, Mike the zombie’s face, mouth open distorted look of amazement. More laughs.)
BROGG: (Pausing, concerned.) It’s awfully quiet though, wouldn’t you say? (Looks at Mike.) Oh, no wait, sorry, you wouldn’t say… because you’re a zombie! (Laughter.)
(Mike the zombie opens his tote bag and pulls out a spyglass. Looks through the window. Drops spyglass in horror. Points to window frantically, trying to communicate with Brogg.)
BROGG: What is it boy? (Mocking.) Timmy’s in the well? (Laffs.) What? What’s that you say? (Trying to follow Mike’s gestures.) The guys… the guys are… they’re dead… lying in… a pool of blood? (Beat. Zoom-in Brogg. Look of shock.) Wait a sec… (loudly) THE GUYS ARE DEAD?!
(Cinder steps out from behind a tree, slowly. Looks down at his bloody sword. Brogg is stupefied by Mike’s gestures. Mike spots Cinder, and begins gesturing again wildly.)
BROGG: Uh, this isn’t good! What is it this time? Wait, you’re saying, behind me… a man… bad man… (Cinder stalks up slowly, going on tiptoes in an exaggerated manner. Laugh-track.) There’s a bad man behind me who’s going to kill me?
(Brogg turns around, his neck turning along Cinder’s sword. Brogg clutches his throat and recoils, stumbling backwards. Watches the rest of the scene while he sinks to his knees gurgling. Mike the zombie begins to back away. Cinder feints left, feints right, toying with the zombie like a cat with a mouse. Finally, Mike turns and runs, but Cinder trips him. Mike gets to his kness and begins to crawl away, but falls, and turns over onto his back. Cinder pulls out a crossbow and shoots Mike in the leg. Mike clutches his leg in pain. Cinder reloads, walks up, stands over Mike. Mike looks up, close-up of his face, pleading. Pan out, Cinder shoots Mike in the arm. Cinder tosses crossbow aside. Pulls out small hunting knife. Brogg falls over dead in the snow, as red blood forms halo around his body. Cinder kneels over Mike, knife gleaming in the moonlight, zoom out as the skinning begins…)
…
Scene 4. A forest.
DAVE, FIST OF ODIN: (Standing over four grave markers. Blesses them.) Praise be, and may their souls battle eternally in the glorious halls of Valhalla. Except for Brogg, who should probably go hang out with Grisbane.
(Cinder suddenly materializes and stabs him through the chest with both blades.)
DAVE, FIST OF ODIN: (Screaming as he dies.) Oh shit! Odin help me… (Dies.)
(Cinder turns, pulls out parchment out of pouch. Doesn’t notice giant gate opening on stage right, until there’s a clap of thunder and Odin materializes.)
CINDER: Oh shi… (Odin crushes him with a giant hammer.)
(Odin tosses hammer aside, glances around the stage. Nonchalantly, lightly taps Dave Fist of Odin’s body with toe of boot. Shrugs. Looks back at glowing gate, still open. Looks into camera. Begins to smile, adjusts tie.)
ODIN: Huh huh. Hey, did you hear the one about…
(Curtains.)
