Burgle
Dave, okay, you head outside and start handing out drinks, busting rhymes, generally trying to distract the guards from the obvious breakin going on down the street. It basically works.
Marivhon, nice dodge. You roll into the room. There are a lot of potential weapons, things like the lantern on the table, a chair next to the bed, but nothing that looks like a +1 lance or anything. Just an old lawyer with a crossbow. Seeing you tumble into the room he freaks out, and runs out of the room into a small hallway, shouting: "Help! Oh by the gods, there's burglars!"