Oh, sorry. Missed Brogg's 20 in there too. Uh, that's a fuckload of damage, enough to send DK on down.
It is done. Nice work team. You run Don Katsu through and through, slitting open his stomach, bathing the lounge floor in blood and intestinal fluid. Shi Jukka steadies himself, looking very alarmed, until he notices Don Katsu clutching something small in his right hand.
Hmm, it’s a small, well-made, tin tuning fork. Don Katsu, with his last, dying move, strikes it once, softly on the ground. A perfect middle ‘C’ rings out, growing louder and louder…
Those in the know, know what this means. The sound opens a gate! I could go through lots of flavor text, describing the glowing portal and stuff, but let me just cut through the crap and tell you: it opens a gate. Out steps a simple man, dressed in simple black clothes, wearing a billowing black cloak, with the hood pulled low so you can’t see his face!
He surveys the carnage in the room silently and regards the lot of you. No… it can’t be… but yes… it must be… this is: THE MYSTERIOUS X.
“Yes,” he says. “I am the Mysterious X. And you must be the ones making all this trouble in our monastery. Well, okay, here I am. Let’s finish this.”
He pauses for a second- is he serious? You’re not sure. He continues unfazed- “But first, there’s something I want you to understand. I am the Grand Master of Flowers. This means I am a 17th level monk. Regardez, s’il-vous plait.”
With that, he turns, just ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly, towards the middle of the room… and the mah-jongg table breaks instantly in half! The Mysterious X broke the table without even lifting a finger! And he did it speaking perfect French.
“I just want you to be fully cognizant of what you’d be getting into. My AC is –6, for what it’s worth. Quivering Palm, etc, I won’t bore you with the details. But here is my offer. If you want to fight, let’s fight. Let’s do this thing. But…
“I offer you one chance to walk away.” Mysterious X gestures out the door, up the stairs from whence you came. “But if you’d prefer, we can do battle. In the interest of fairness, I will turn my back and give you the opportunity to strike first. You may prepare as you wish. I sense some of you are priests. Cast what spells you will, if you think it useful, before we begin.”
“But I will not spare you, once we start. So instead, please, walk away. Leave our shrine in peace, with your lives, but without treasure. Without honor. Without xp.”
He lets those final words sink it. “You know what this means- you will have failed in your quest, and failed your god. But you will survive. In fact, I will send Shi Jukka out with you, to make sure you get back to Durth without encountering any wandering monsters on the road back home.”
Shi raises an eyebrow at this but remains silent.
“The choice is yours. Life or death, honor or dishonor, god or no. Mm.” Without another word then, Mysterious X turns his back on you and awaits your decision.
The little spherical modron 5 lights up another Primus.
5: “Damn, Shi! Ol’ dirty Mysterious is one intense guy!”
Shi: “Well, he is the Grand Master of Flowers, you know.”
5: “So what do you say… 10 gps say that those guys go for it! Of course, they’ll get their asses kicked so hard. You in?”
Shi: “Well, 5 my friend, you know I’m not the gambling sort. But… damn. ‘Fight the GMF, or walk away without xp.’” Shi considers this, shaking his head.
5: “Totally a lose-lose situation.”
Shi: “Yeah. Mysterious X is very powerful. Still…”
5: “’Still’? Still, what? What do you mean, ‘still…’?”
Shi: “Huh? Oh nothing.”
5: “Don’t give me that oh nothing bullshit. You said ‘still’. I’m a goddamn modron, Jukka. You calling me a liar? I’m Lawful-frickin-Neutral.”
Shi: “Yeah, okay, fine. I said ‘still…’. But I’m always doubting everything, myself, reality, Mysterious X. It’s just… well, it’s just how it is.” Shi took another cigarette from 5, lit it, and continued. “You ever hear the story about the monk Laredo?”
5 groaned. “Oh please, not another monk story.”
Shi: “Look, if you want to know why I said what I said, you got to hear me out.”
5: “Fine. ‘Please, Initiate Jukka, impart unto me your wisdom. I entreat you to tell me the story of the monk Laredo.’”
Shi: “Okay. So there was this monk named Laredo. One day, he left the shrine to fill the bucket with water from the stream. Upon filling it, he finds the bridge has collapsed and he cannot return to the shrine. Laredo thought to himself, ‘Hmm. I see that the bridge has collapsed. This is peculiar, because I recall the story of the monk Hirudo. Hirudo, an elderly monk, heads out of the shrine to fill the bucket with water from the stream. Upon filling it, he finds the bridge has collapsed and he cannot return to the shrine. Hirudo walked a ways down the stream until he found a dead turtle laying in the river. Using the turtle's shell as a stepping stone, Hirudo crossed the river and made his way back to the shrine. Perhaps if I sit by the river, a solution will occur to me.’ Laredo sat by the river for many days, in quiet contemplation. Sure enough, after four days, a large turtle walked up to him. The turtle said: ‘Hello good monk. I see you are waiting by the river.’ Laredo said: ‘Good day to you, turtle-san. Yes, I have come to the river to fill my bucket, but the bridge has collapsed.’ The turtle thought about this for a moment and said: ‘Perhaps I can…’ and at that moment, Laredo was enlightened. Before the old tortoise could utter another word, Laredo grabbed its head, twisted hard, and snapped its neck. The turtle convulsed a few times and fell over dead. Laredo then threw it in the river, and used it as a stepping stone, and returned to the shrine.”
The little modron’s jaw dropped in amazement, and the cigarette fell out of his mouth. He stared at Shi, stunned, for a second. He then picked his cigarette back up, took a drag.
5: “That’s a really fucked up story. Uh… what’s the, you know… is there like a moral or something? Is that some kind of analogy?”
Shi shrugged. “Actually, I’m not sure what it has to do with anything, now that I think about it. Just seemed sort of appropriate.”
5: “Anyway.”
Shi: “Right.”
5: “Well, 10 gp still says the boys fight, and the boys die.”
Shi considered it. “Okay, you’re on.”
The monk and his modron pal went silent, and turned to watch… the conclusion of C2: Against the Grand Master of Flowers!
(Please guys, be careful. He broke that table without lifting a finger. We ain't fucking around right about now.)
