8.23.2005
I Dedicate This Post To "Italics". Thanks For All You've Done
You... I mean... c'mon, be nice now. Sister Brenda worked really hard to get where she is. Skillpoints, gps, xps, tears, sweat, and blood have all been lost. Those sais were a gift from her famous grandmother, forged by a one-eyed dwarven smith who once had the power to speak to the ores beneath Mount Kumi.
Do you really want to hear her story? That's what I thought.
Anyway, backing up, we have Dave doing serious amounts of damage to Brenda. Two good mace bashes, and you guys better be hoping that janitor is next to come through that door. Seriously, it's fucking gross. Bren's dead, and that means... Shi Jukka got the power.
As he rides the Quickening though, the door behind you bursts open! In comes... well, in shuffles Grunna with a pitcher of Nestea. Seeing all the dead monks, she looks confused and just sort of stands there unattractively. Don't get me wrong, Grunna's a valkyrie, so she's hot shit, the CHA to awe, if you get me. But even the hottest woman, standing in a burlap sack, holding limply a pitcher of Nestea, with her mouth sort of open, slack-jawed... If People magazine were to run the photos, you'd be sure they'd be getting a cease/desist letter from Odin's lawyers.
But that's not all! The other door bursts open, right as Shi Jukka is about to launch into that speech. You know the one he was about to give. It's like the moment all NPCs wait for. When they get to make their speech about revenge, and victory, and destroying the PCs, and they're doing it for all the right reasons, like at the end of Star Wars Episode Three where Ben Kenobi's all like "You're evil!" And Anakin says: "But from my point of view, you're evil!" Which if you ask me is totally lame. The bad guy's not really going to say 'from my point of view'. One, it goes without saying. Two, it totally undermines the idea that he's really acting from conviction, right? That even though he did all those bad things, he did it for love.
Anyway, Shi's like right there. He's so ready to give his speech, that on a WI check you'll notice a flicker, just the merest, most meager- let's make that a WI check with a -3 penalty- just the smallest indication that he's sort of disappointed he didn't get to say it.
But in fly two more monks! And one, well, two, really... they're sort of these shaped things? Like a cube and a, a cylinder in monk robes.
Uh, let me start over.
Okay, all monks are dead but Shi Jukka. It's about to come back around, but three more guys enter the room. Only two of them aren't really 'guys', not in the Sister Brenda way, but in the sense that they're not human or humanoid at all... oh fuck it, I'll just tell you. It's a master monk and two modron pals. Remember 'modrons' from MM2? Two of 'em. One of them is also dressed in monk robes and does some of that awesome 'wire-fu' flipping grand entrance stuff. He's the hexagonal cylinder kind of modron in a bulky yellow robe with an awesome Japanese headband on- the red rising sun on a white background, think 'Karate Kid'. The human monk is an old man! He's got a long flowing white beard and moustache, and leaps over your heads.
He lands, and it's so great, check it out- he lands, and balances on one foot, on a single, upright mah-jongg piece that fell to the floor. Balancing, he smiles and says: "Shi Jukka! Nice to see you! Stand back while Moby Ru and I tidy up in here! And then we might enjoy some more Nestea and mah-jongg!" No weapons on the old guy. He just stands in some martial arts pose. 'Moby Ru', you guess, is the 6 armed modron. The old man regards all of you and says "I am Don Katsu, Imperial Master of the White Tearoom. I hope your fighting skills are worth rousing an old man from his nap!"
Shi kind of steps off to the side near the entrance door. I mentioned that there were two modrons. The other one is kind of small, just a spherical body with a pair of crappy, but apparently functional, wings. It flies into the room, and lands next to Shi, and hangs out, not part of the combat either.
Shi says: "Hey 5, how's it going?"
Modron 5 says: "Eh, you know. Workin' hard, hardly workin."
Shi grunts and nods.
5: "Looks bad. Who're these guys?"
Shi: "Some adventurers who hate mah-jongg and monks, I guess. I don't really know though." Shi pauses thoughtfully for a moment, and continues: "It's actually pretty bad. Dong and Bren are dead." He points to their bloody corpses around the lounge.
5: "Ooh... sucky sucky."
Shi frowns. "Don't be a racist."
5: "Oh, no, sorry... didn't mean it like that."
Shi and 5 stand back while Don Katsu and Moby Ru prepare to kick your asses. Moby Ru concentrates for a second, while Don Katsu seems to be giving you the first move... "What are you waiting for, me to die of natural causes? It is time for a demonstration of your fighting skills!"
It is time for a demonstration of your fighting skills.
Do you really want to hear her story? That's what I thought.
Anyway, backing up, we have Dave doing serious amounts of damage to Brenda. Two good mace bashes, and you guys better be hoping that janitor is next to come through that door. Seriously, it's fucking gross. Bren's dead, and that means... Shi Jukka got the power.
As he rides the Quickening though, the door behind you bursts open! In comes... well, in shuffles Grunna with a pitcher of Nestea. Seeing all the dead monks, she looks confused and just sort of stands there unattractively. Don't get me wrong, Grunna's a valkyrie, so she's hot shit, the CHA to awe, if you get me. But even the hottest woman, standing in a burlap sack, holding limply a pitcher of Nestea, with her mouth sort of open, slack-jawed... If People magazine were to run the photos, you'd be sure they'd be getting a cease/desist letter from Odin's lawyers.
But that's not all! The other door bursts open, right as Shi Jukka is about to launch into that speech. You know the one he was about to give. It's like the moment all NPCs wait for. When they get to make their speech about revenge, and victory, and destroying the PCs, and they're doing it for all the right reasons, like at the end of Star Wars Episode Three where Ben Kenobi's all like "You're evil!" And Anakin says: "But from my point of view, you're evil!" Which if you ask me is totally lame. The bad guy's not really going to say 'from my point of view'. One, it goes without saying. Two, it totally undermines the idea that he's really acting from conviction, right? That even though he did all those bad things, he did it for love.
Anyway, Shi's like right there. He's so ready to give his speech, that on a WI check you'll notice a flicker, just the merest, most meager- let's make that a WI check with a -3 penalty- just the smallest indication that he's sort of disappointed he didn't get to say it.
But in fly two more monks! And one, well, two, really... they're sort of these shaped things? Like a cube and a, a cylinder in monk robes.
Uh, let me start over.
Okay, all monks are dead but Shi Jukka. It's about to come back around, but three more guys enter the room. Only two of them aren't really 'guys', not in the Sister Brenda way, but in the sense that they're not human or humanoid at all... oh fuck it, I'll just tell you. It's a master monk and two modron pals. Remember 'modrons' from MM2? Two of 'em. One of them is also dressed in monk robes and does some of that awesome 'wire-fu' flipping grand entrance stuff. He's the hexagonal cylinder kind of modron in a bulky yellow robe with an awesome Japanese headband on- the red rising sun on a white background, think 'Karate Kid'. The human monk is an old man! He's got a long flowing white beard and moustache, and leaps over your heads.
He lands, and it's so great, check it out- he lands, and balances on one foot, on a single, upright mah-jongg piece that fell to the floor. Balancing, he smiles and says: "Shi Jukka! Nice to see you! Stand back while Moby Ru and I tidy up in here! And then we might enjoy some more Nestea and mah-jongg!" No weapons on the old guy. He just stands in some martial arts pose. 'Moby Ru', you guess, is the 6 armed modron. The old man regards all of you and says "I am Don Katsu, Imperial Master of the White Tearoom. I hope your fighting skills are worth rousing an old man from his nap!"
Shi kind of steps off to the side near the entrance door. I mentioned that there were two modrons. The other one is kind of small, just a spherical body with a pair of crappy, but apparently functional, wings. It flies into the room, and lands next to Shi, and hangs out, not part of the combat either.
Shi says: "Hey 5, how's it going?"
Modron 5 says: "Eh, you know. Workin' hard, hardly workin."
Shi grunts and nods.
5: "Looks bad. Who're these guys?"
Shi: "Some adventurers who hate mah-jongg and monks, I guess. I don't really know though." Shi pauses thoughtfully for a moment, and continues: "It's actually pretty bad. Dong and Bren are dead." He points to their bloody corpses around the lounge.
5: "Ooh... sucky sucky."
Shi frowns. "Don't be a racist."
5: "Oh, no, sorry... didn't mean it like that."
Shi and 5 stand back while Don Katsu and Moby Ru prepare to kick your asses. Moby Ru concentrates for a second, while Don Katsu seems to be giving you the first move... "What are you waiting for, me to die of natural causes? It is time for a demonstration of your fighting skills!"
It is time for a demonstration of your fighting skills.
