6.14.2005
That's The Worst Elemental Plane You Know
Yeah, sorry about that guys. I was at Dave's graduation doing family stuff all weekend. Anyway, back to the story.
Cinder, Vrill rolls his eyes during your story, and says "You finished? Yes? No, please finish." When you're done, he rubs his thumb and index finger together and makes a sad face at you. "Here's the world's smallest violin playing for you, Little Orphan Annie. Yeah. You've had a hard life. So I can understand how'd you want to, you know, bettray your guild, murder some animals and women. That's pretty understandable... you SON OF A BITCH." He's starting to get uppity again. "Have I told you how pissed I am?! Have I?! Huh?! HUH?!" He kind of shoves you. "I'm so utterly and completely mad... 110% enraged, Meefer! I'm like on the Elemental Plane of HATE!" The priests come over and Rupert smacks Vrill on the head with the horse crop.
"Hey! Yeah, well, you get the picture. Chess Club, huh? So you're doubly betraying the guild, you bastard. Well we'll just see about that."
He opens up a little leather, well, it's basically a fanny pack. He pulls out a potion and drinks it, intoning "I summon thee! Messenger from beyond, take my message across these planes!" He waits for a while with arms outstretched. The two priests begin to get interested when nothing immediately happens, start looking at Vrill and looking around. Then this buffalo walks up. Maybe he said 'plains'? Vrill whispers something in its ear, definitely something about you and the Chess Club you think? Then he says "Go! Take my message!" The buffalo slowly trundles off across the, yeah, across the plains. For some reason Vrill points east or something and says "Yes!" as it leaves.
Lady Sarah says "Excuse me, Gregory? I'm not sure we've, you know, got a lot of time budget available for these sorts of enterprises, whatever that was. I think Master Meefer appreciates the depth of your suffering. Maybe we should get to the station, yes?"
Vrill looks at her, Rupert, then back at you and says "Yeah, sure thing. Meefer, I guess it's time to go. No hard feelings, right old pal? That's right... let's be Friends." He gives you a few more potions and away you guys go.
Up to Mt. Storm you go. There's a long winding trail that wraps around it. It's raining pretty good here asa you might expect, the clouds are all overcast, it looks pretty cool. Finally after like a full day of hiking (well Cinder, you're riding the donkey still), you reach the top, and make it to the ancient Dorov weather station!
It looks exactly like the cloud city from Empire Strikes Back, so you know it looks awesome. There's also four large pillars surrounding it, reaching up into the clouds, they're like fucking huge. See, I just saw Empire Strikes Back this weekend, and I thought that it would be a pretty good design for the weather station here. So rather than gloss it over, try and bullshit you, 'appropriate and modify' and all that, here you go: it's exactly like the cloud city. Now you guys know exactly what it's like. Well, okay, not exactly, it's not floating over a gas planet, it's connected to the earth but all surrounded by grey storm clouds just about to burst. No Lando or any of that crap either. So maybe it looks like the CN tower? Except that's kind of lame, so it doesn't. Cloud city. If you're not imagining something totally sweet, you've got it wrong.
Cinder, they knock you out nice and good, so a lot of this is a blur, but the first thing that happens is Vrill unlocks the huge front door, and you guys ride this crazy elevator all the way up. Then there's some guardians, and a couple fights that look pretty tough! It's sort of blurry, but the guardians are these cool all in black robes guys wielding bladed staffs. But big, not like ninjas. Having left the donkey outside, they drag you through the halls and chambers, which are pristine and white. Around and up, and finally, you reach a door "Control Chamber 5", and in you go... Holy shit. Vrill says "Yes... YES! Okay, let's get to work." Sarah says "I sure hope you know what you're doing" with a really worried look on her face. Rupert says quietly "you can find me in da club/ bottle full of bub... Why... where'd I get that song in my head?"
...
Brogg and Dave. How's it going? So you guys are hurrying across the plains. You're almost there to the mountain, camping in a gully so that Vrill and co. won't see you. Anyway, as you break camp, you hear some singing:
Do you believe in heaven above
Do you believe in love
Don't tell me a lie/Don't be false or untrue
It all comes back to you
Open fire on my ogre heart
I've never been lucky in love
It's pretty quiet. You guys pause, concerned, but then you don't hear it for a while, so continue packing up. Right as you're about to leave, the song continues, louder, closer. It's in a really deep voice:
Ogre's get in your eyes
Ogre's making you cry
Don't know what to do/Don't know what to do
Looking for love/Calling heaven above...
Send me an ogre
Send me an Oh-gre
Right now
"Hey there!" calls the deep singer's voice from the top of the little bluff. It's a very big humanoid. He's carrying a big walking staff and a little pack. You guys warily ready your weapons.
"Ho ho! How you doin." says the ogre, walking down the hill towards the camp. "My name's Ogre... Ogre John. How you doin." he says again. "You guys look like you're down on your luck. Wanna know how I know that, huh? I bet you wanna know." He grins wide.
"Because you just met me. Give me your stuff," he says, holding out his hand. "Or, I can smack ya," he says, holding up and out his big staff. Then he kind of moves his hands back and forth, like you're supposed to consider his deal: stuff...staff...stuff...staff.
Go.
Cinder, Vrill rolls his eyes during your story, and says "You finished? Yes? No, please finish." When you're done, he rubs his thumb and index finger together and makes a sad face at you. "Here's the world's smallest violin playing for you, Little Orphan Annie. Yeah. You've had a hard life. So I can understand how'd you want to, you know, bettray your guild, murder some animals and women. That's pretty understandable... you SON OF A BITCH." He's starting to get uppity again. "Have I told you how pissed I am?! Have I?! Huh?! HUH?!" He kind of shoves you. "I'm so utterly and completely mad... 110% enraged, Meefer! I'm like on the Elemental Plane of HATE!" The priests come over and Rupert smacks Vrill on the head with the horse crop.
"Hey! Yeah, well, you get the picture. Chess Club, huh? So you're doubly betraying the guild, you bastard. Well we'll just see about that."
He opens up a little leather, well, it's basically a fanny pack. He pulls out a potion and drinks it, intoning "I summon thee! Messenger from beyond, take my message across these planes!" He waits for a while with arms outstretched. The two priests begin to get interested when nothing immediately happens, start looking at Vrill and looking around. Then this buffalo walks up. Maybe he said 'plains'? Vrill whispers something in its ear, definitely something about you and the Chess Club you think? Then he says "Go! Take my message!" The buffalo slowly trundles off across the, yeah, across the plains. For some reason Vrill points east or something and says "Yes!" as it leaves.
Lady Sarah says "Excuse me, Gregory? I'm not sure we've, you know, got a lot of time budget available for these sorts of enterprises, whatever that was. I think Master Meefer appreciates the depth of your suffering. Maybe we should get to the station, yes?"
Vrill looks at her, Rupert, then back at you and says "Yeah, sure thing. Meefer, I guess it's time to go. No hard feelings, right old pal? That's right... let's be Friends." He gives you a few more potions and away you guys go.
Up to Mt. Storm you go. There's a long winding trail that wraps around it. It's raining pretty good here asa you might expect, the clouds are all overcast, it looks pretty cool. Finally after like a full day of hiking (well Cinder, you're riding the donkey still), you reach the top, and make it to the ancient Dorov weather station!
It looks exactly like the cloud city from Empire Strikes Back, so you know it looks awesome. There's also four large pillars surrounding it, reaching up into the clouds, they're like fucking huge. See, I just saw Empire Strikes Back this weekend, and I thought that it would be a pretty good design for the weather station here. So rather than gloss it over, try and bullshit you, 'appropriate and modify' and all that, here you go: it's exactly like the cloud city. Now you guys know exactly what it's like. Well, okay, not exactly, it's not floating over a gas planet, it's connected to the earth but all surrounded by grey storm clouds just about to burst. No Lando or any of that crap either. So maybe it looks like the CN tower? Except that's kind of lame, so it doesn't. Cloud city. If you're not imagining something totally sweet, you've got it wrong.
Cinder, they knock you out nice and good, so a lot of this is a blur, but the first thing that happens is Vrill unlocks the huge front door, and you guys ride this crazy elevator all the way up. Then there's some guardians, and a couple fights that look pretty tough! It's sort of blurry, but the guardians are these cool all in black robes guys wielding bladed staffs. But big, not like ninjas. Having left the donkey outside, they drag you through the halls and chambers, which are pristine and white. Around and up, and finally, you reach a door "Control Chamber 5", and in you go... Holy shit. Vrill says "Yes... YES! Okay, let's get to work." Sarah says "I sure hope you know what you're doing" with a really worried look on her face. Rupert says quietly "you can find me in da club/ bottle full of bub... Why... where'd I get that song in my head?"
...
Brogg and Dave. How's it going? So you guys are hurrying across the plains. You're almost there to the mountain, camping in a gully so that Vrill and co. won't see you. Anyway, as you break camp, you hear some singing:
Do you believe in heaven above
Do you believe in love
Don't tell me a lie/Don't be false or untrue
It all comes back to you
Open fire on my ogre heart
I've never been lucky in love
It's pretty quiet. You guys pause, concerned, but then you don't hear it for a while, so continue packing up. Right as you're about to leave, the song continues, louder, closer. It's in a really deep voice:
Ogre's get in your eyes
Ogre's making you cry
Don't know what to do/Don't know what to do
Looking for love/Calling heaven above...
Send me an ogre
Send me an Oh-gre
Right now
"Hey there!" calls the deep singer's voice from the top of the little bluff. It's a very big humanoid. He's carrying a big walking staff and a little pack. You guys warily ready your weapons.
"Ho ho! How you doin." says the ogre, walking down the hill towards the camp. "My name's Ogre... Ogre John. How you doin." he says again. "You guys look like you're down on your luck. Wanna know how I know that, huh? I bet you wanna know." He grins wide.
"Because you just met me. Give me your stuff," he says, holding out his hand. "Or, I can smack ya," he says, holding up and out his big staff. Then he kind of moves his hands back and forth, like you're supposed to consider his deal: stuff...staff...stuff...staff.
Go.
