6.28.2005
INTERLUDE- BEST SERVED COLD (Conclusion)
Jerry's stump ached. He looked up apprehensively at the weather station. He and Jacobo were the only ones to escape the station intact once the controls were destroyed. Crouching behind a rock, he whispered: "Do you see them coming yet?"
Jacobo told him to shut up, but then said: "No, not yet. But when they come out, I'm totally going to sling the first guy in the eye." Jerry and Jacobo agreed to ambush the survivors, leaving the tower, and positioned themselves quite far away down the mountain trail, you know, just in case there happened to be a lot of survivors.
Jerry shook his head incredulously. "Well I'm no good. And speaking of things that are no good, your plan sucked. I need more monkeys next time."
Jacobo took it in stride: "Yeah, I can't believe the lightning struck the little guy. Now be quiet, it sounds like something is happening..."
The entrance door slammed shut, and the whole tower began to shake. Cold, hard rain plummeted on the boy and the gnome cripple, as storm clouds gathered around them. "This sucks so bad" moaned Jerry, as he rubbed his stump.
Then, silently, the observation dome at the top of the station broke off from the support tower, with a massive shake and impressive display of blue flashes.
"What the fu..." said Jerry in a quiet voice, watching the weather station collapse and fall down the mountain. A huge crash shook the countryside, knocking the two allies to the ground. Smoke curled up from a distance where the weather station must've fallen.
"Oh my" said Jacobo, standing up. The boy slowly walked over to help Jerry to his feet, both of them gazing, unblinkingly, up at the ruins of the ancient station. They stood together in silence for several minutes, in shock. Then, Jacobo uttered a single word.
"Owned."
Jerry nodded slowly, and said "Hell yeah. Totally owned."
...
As the two survivors walked slowly back down the mountain path in the pouring rain, Jacobo turned to the gnome and said:
"You know, my father wrote a three part treatise on the seventeen human emotions. Regarding revenge, he concluded that it ultimately left the slighted party unsatisfied at best, in horrible anguish at worst."
Jerry listened and nodded his head. "Yeah, I think I heard that. So?"
"So," said the boy, "you know what? I think... I think my father was wrong. Completely wrong. I feel pretty darn good." He smiled and looked back at the tower. "Yeah, you know? Ha ha! Those guys didn't just bite it, they bit it harder than I ever could imagine. That was fucking sweet!"
Jerry himself laughed: "Heh heh, that was pretty crazy."
"I think I'd like to see that on a t-shirt or something, know what I mean?"
Jerry concurred, saying: "Wow, really, is all I can say. Well, that, and, next time, I think I'm going to bring a bonus monkey or two, you know, just in case." Jacobo agreed that was a good idea, mages are always such targets. Jerry exclaimed: "You know what I could use right now is a tall beer. Yeah, a nice draft on-tap of whatever. Pisser light or make it a Guiness, I don't care, just give me a goddamn beer! A ha!"
Jacobo: "Yeah, and one for me too!"
Jerry didn't think that was such a good idea. "I mean, you're like what, twelve years old? How about a nice milkshake or something."
"Fuck that, I like double damaged an evil priest. I survived the destruction of the goddamn dungeon. Give me a fucking beeeeer!" Jacobo and Jerry bust out laughing so hard they had to stop their descent down the mountain. "Whoo hoo!" yelled the gnome cripple, splashing in the mud, "Give the lad his fucking beeeeeeer!"
...
One week later, at the Griffon's Claw.
"You know what?" said Jerry to his young friend over two tall foam-drenched glasses. "Whass that?" slurred Jacobo.
"Revenge is kind of like beer. They're both..."
Jacobo told him to shut up, but then said: "No, not yet. But when they come out, I'm totally going to sling the first guy in the eye." Jerry and Jacobo agreed to ambush the survivors, leaving the tower, and positioned themselves quite far away down the mountain trail, you know, just in case there happened to be a lot of survivors.
Jerry shook his head incredulously. "Well I'm no good. And speaking of things that are no good, your plan sucked. I need more monkeys next time."
Jacobo took it in stride: "Yeah, I can't believe the lightning struck the little guy. Now be quiet, it sounds like something is happening..."
The entrance door slammed shut, and the whole tower began to shake. Cold, hard rain plummeted on the boy and the gnome cripple, as storm clouds gathered around them. "This sucks so bad" moaned Jerry, as he rubbed his stump.
Then, silently, the observation dome at the top of the station broke off from the support tower, with a massive shake and impressive display of blue flashes.
"What the fu..." said Jerry in a quiet voice, watching the weather station collapse and fall down the mountain. A huge crash shook the countryside, knocking the two allies to the ground. Smoke curled up from a distance where the weather station must've fallen.
"Oh my" said Jacobo, standing up. The boy slowly walked over to help Jerry to his feet, both of them gazing, unblinkingly, up at the ruins of the ancient station. They stood together in silence for several minutes, in shock. Then, Jacobo uttered a single word.
"Owned."
Jerry nodded slowly, and said "Hell yeah. Totally owned."
...
As the two survivors walked slowly back down the mountain path in the pouring rain, Jacobo turned to the gnome and said:
"You know, my father wrote a three part treatise on the seventeen human emotions. Regarding revenge, he concluded that it ultimately left the slighted party unsatisfied at best, in horrible anguish at worst."
Jerry listened and nodded his head. "Yeah, I think I heard that. So?"
"So," said the boy, "you know what? I think... I think my father was wrong. Completely wrong. I feel pretty darn good." He smiled and looked back at the tower. "Yeah, you know? Ha ha! Those guys didn't just bite it, they bit it harder than I ever could imagine. That was fucking sweet!"
Jerry himself laughed: "Heh heh, that was pretty crazy."
"I think I'd like to see that on a t-shirt or something, know what I mean?"
Jerry concurred, saying: "Wow, really, is all I can say. Well, that, and, next time, I think I'm going to bring a bonus monkey or two, you know, just in case." Jacobo agreed that was a good idea, mages are always such targets. Jerry exclaimed: "You know what I could use right now is a tall beer. Yeah, a nice draft on-tap of whatever. Pisser light or make it a Guiness, I don't care, just give me a goddamn beer! A ha!"
Jacobo: "Yeah, and one for me too!"
Jerry didn't think that was such a good idea. "I mean, you're like what, twelve years old? How about a nice milkshake or something."
"Fuck that, I like double damaged an evil priest. I survived the destruction of the goddamn dungeon. Give me a fucking beeeeer!" Jacobo and Jerry bust out laughing so hard they had to stop their descent down the mountain. "Whoo hoo!" yelled the gnome cripple, splashing in the mud, "Give the lad his fucking beeeeeeer!"
...
One week later, at the Griffon's Claw.
"You know what?" said Jerry to his young friend over two tall foam-drenched glasses. "Whass that?" slurred Jacobo.
"Revenge is kind of like beer. They're both..."
