5.09.2005
  St. Cuthbert Is Sort of an Uptight Prick About Those Things
Brogg, swoosh.

I remember when I was eight years old, third grade I think, on a T-ball team. We watched this girl swing, swing, swing at that T-ball and she just couldn't hit it. All us eight year olds kept slowly moving closer and closer in a semicircle around her because we just couldn't believe it, just swing, whiff, swing, whiff, swing whiff, just staring quietly at her, looking at each other, mouths open. I think that it was the first time the emotion of 'incredulous' registered with me. I mean, zombie, dude. Grisbane kind of looks away and shakes his head juust a bit.

Ed, twang. I assume you're using the shortbow? 2 attacks/round with bows. 3 points into the zombie's thigh.

Dave, donk. You actually only do 7 hp dmg because 15 ST is not +1 damage under 1st ed rules. Anyway, 10 to the zombie is NOT enough to drop him! The zombie retaliates on you Dave, swinging the mace at you for 4 hp.

One more round... I'll just roll for you guys if you don't mind. Mark, I can't believe it. I've been rolling that damn blogroll thing for a while now and you got the first double damage I've seen. Well okay, I retract that whole 'swings like a girl' T-ball story, sorry. A whopping 16 hp damage! You hit the zombie so hard it explodes in a burst of dead bones and organs ALL OVER the crypt. Totally nasty. Zombie Mike kind of frowns and sighs a little.

With the zombie dead, you see that his mace is pretty old and nasty also. If this is the magic treasure, damn was this whole thing underwhelming. The frescoes depict this high priest like guy swinging this huge mace bashing in guys' faces, beaning them in their helms and stuff like that. He's larger than life, kind of like a super hero almost because he's all chin and grinning with a big-ass cape. The last fresco shows him with a big frown though because St. Cuthbert is casting him out of the temple for his greed and womanizing and it says:

HERE LIES DWAYNE REDDINGS, CURSED OF CUTHBERT, DAMNED FOR HIS AVARICE AND LECHERY. WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE HELPED THE POOR AND INNOCENT, HE WAS FIGHTING AND WHORING. DAMNED AS WELL ARE THOSE WHO DEFILE THIS UNHOLY TOMB.

Anyway, Cinder, good thinking to search because you find a poison needle trap on the lid of the sarcophagus. You give it the old college try but you can't disarm it! What do you do?
 
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