4.26.2005
Sleep is the most cheap-ass spell...
...and when you wake up in your dank little cell, you remember why...
But first, okay Dave, sure you cast a cure light wounds. I mean, everything's easy when you have a time machine and stuff, why not cast a bless while you're at it? Please remember to deduct your savings from 5 gp, 7 sp to 5 sp as previously mentioned in the good annals of this weblog.
Then those guys from the Potion Guild show up with their kobold buddies. Ed and Dave, okay you're going pretty fast. I guess you heard them coming down the stairs. Mark manages to go even faster at 17, I guess Brogg brought 'Wired Reflexes 2' during his special training? Uh huh... 1d10 is fine guys. Mark, you swing low and cut off both legs from kobold #1. He momentarily looks in horror at his leg stumps as he falls the 0.5 m to the ground and flails around. His last action on, er, your planet, is to grab his severed legs with like a sad little look in his eye.
Ed, you backstab. It looks like you've got a doppleganger, who heads back into paradox world and does some stuff in there. While I'm being a tightass, I'll say that I found some stuff posted on your new blog- nice color scheme by the way, really- and I'm not sure if that's meant to be "in-game" or whatever? You stick the gnome pretty good though, for 8 hp and he's down; he yells "Jerry!" (or maybe "Jelly"?) and looks at the human magic user next to him.
For future notice, either you can roll for hide in shadows, or you can tell me what you rolled, or we can go back and forth. Doesn't really matter so much- that applies to all rolls for all players. And you don't have to use Mark's html thing even though he probably worked pretty hard on it guys. Throwing chalk at the blackboard is a legitmate form of randomization. Well, at least as legitimate as anything else here.
Then it kind of goes to shit. The other Potion Guild guy casts Sleep. He rolls pretty good too, 6 HD of sleep. Mark, Dave, and Ed, you guys go down. No save. We can take a minute here if you'd like to consult your Player's Handbooks to confirm this cheap ass lack of saving throw.
It looks like Mike must save the day!
But he doesn't. The other two kobolds kick him in the groin and he's down.
You wake up some time later... have hours passed? Days? Sunlight streams in through a window blocked with bars. You guys are in separate cells, bound and gagged, basically with all your stuff missing, and feeling like hell.
After a while, the only door opens and... Master Vrill enters, with the human and the gnome from the temple! The gnome looks pretty pissed and has a bandage on his head. His "Ask Me About Potions" button is a bit tarnished. Master Vrill is holding one of the scrolls from the temple that Brogg sold him! Strangely, the door behind those three closes- apparently of its own volition!
Gregory Vrill speaks. "I bet you guys think you're pretty cool, killing some kobolds and owlbears, saving the day and everything. Well, you're not. You don't even know what's going on. I'm the one saving the day." His two pals nod.
He continues "I bet you think I'm just fucking around here. Well I'm not fucking around. I bet you don't even know about the Knights of Armek, huh? Huh?"
The gnome says "Yeah!"
Vrill nods and says "That's right. Well I'm through fucking around. I'm pretty seriously pissed off now. Let me show you how much I'm fucking around." He holds up the scroll!
Vrill looks around and... (rolling a d4) walks to Mike's cell. He then stares deep into Mike's eyes and... Magic Missiles the hell out of Mike. Imagine the scene with the Emperor and Luke and Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi, but without Darth Vader. And with two sets of two magic missiles instead of lightning. That's 4d4+4, no save, and with Mike at 1 hp... sorry buddy...
Mike is dead.
Vrill then laughs and holds up the scroll... "I command the power of life after death! I command the undead!" He reads the scroll and turns Mike into a zombie. Mike stands up and slowly in a zombie voice says "How's... it... going... everybody?"
Master Vrill kind of blinks and commands Mike to join him. Mike sits back down.
Vrill shakes his head and turns to the human- "Apprentice Gerald, prepare my wagon. Afterwards, get rid of these assholes. I must report to Greyhelm." They all leave.
So there you go. Mike, you're now a zombie. You can do stuff, just, well, it's just that you're a zombie now. You all get the feeling that the Potion Guild apprentices will be back shortly... you're bound and gagged (except Mike's not gagged because the magic missiles blew the gag apart).
What do you do?
But first, okay Dave, sure you cast a cure light wounds. I mean, everything's easy when you have a time machine and stuff, why not cast a bless while you're at it? Please remember to deduct your savings from 5 gp, 7 sp to 5 sp as previously mentioned in the good annals of this weblog.
Then those guys from the Potion Guild show up with their kobold buddies. Ed and Dave, okay you're going pretty fast. I guess you heard them coming down the stairs. Mark manages to go even faster at 17, I guess Brogg brought 'Wired Reflexes 2' during his special training? Uh huh... 1d10 is fine guys. Mark, you swing low and cut off both legs from kobold #1. He momentarily looks in horror at his leg stumps as he falls the 0.5 m to the ground and flails around. His last action on, er, your planet, is to grab his severed legs with like a sad little look in his eye.
Ed, you backstab. It looks like you've got a doppleganger, who heads back into paradox world and does some stuff in there. While I'm being a tightass, I'll say that I found some stuff posted on your new blog- nice color scheme by the way, really- and I'm not sure if that's meant to be "in-game" or whatever? You stick the gnome pretty good though, for 8 hp and he's down; he yells "Jerry!" (or maybe "Jelly"?) and looks at the human magic user next to him.
For future notice, either you can roll for hide in shadows, or you can tell me what you rolled, or we can go back and forth. Doesn't really matter so much- that applies to all rolls for all players. And you don't have to use Mark's html thing even though he probably worked pretty hard on it guys. Throwing chalk at the blackboard is a legitmate form of randomization. Well, at least as legitimate as anything else here.
Then it kind of goes to shit. The other Potion Guild guy casts Sleep. He rolls pretty good too, 6 HD of sleep. Mark, Dave, and Ed, you guys go down. No save. We can take a minute here if you'd like to consult your Player's Handbooks to confirm this cheap ass lack of saving throw.
It looks like Mike must save the day!
But he doesn't. The other two kobolds kick him in the groin and he's down.
You wake up some time later... have hours passed? Days? Sunlight streams in through a window blocked with bars. You guys are in separate cells, bound and gagged, basically with all your stuff missing, and feeling like hell.
After a while, the only door opens and... Master Vrill enters, with the human and the gnome from the temple! The gnome looks pretty pissed and has a bandage on his head. His "Ask Me About Potions" button is a bit tarnished. Master Vrill is holding one of the scrolls from the temple that Brogg sold him! Strangely, the door behind those three closes- apparently of its own volition!
Gregory Vrill speaks. "I bet you guys think you're pretty cool, killing some kobolds and owlbears, saving the day and everything. Well, you're not. You don't even know what's going on. I'm the one saving the day." His two pals nod.
He continues "I bet you think I'm just fucking around here. Well I'm not fucking around. I bet you don't even know about the Knights of Armek, huh? Huh?"
The gnome says "Yeah!"
Vrill nods and says "That's right. Well I'm through fucking around. I'm pretty seriously pissed off now. Let me show you how much I'm fucking around." He holds up the scroll!
Vrill looks around and... (rolling a d4) walks to Mike's cell. He then stares deep into Mike's eyes and... Magic Missiles the hell out of Mike. Imagine the scene with the Emperor and Luke and Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi, but without Darth Vader. And with two sets of two magic missiles instead of lightning. That's 4d4+4, no save, and with Mike at 1 hp... sorry buddy...
Mike is dead.
Vrill then laughs and holds up the scroll... "I command the power of life after death! I command the undead!" He reads the scroll and turns Mike into a zombie. Mike stands up and slowly in a zombie voice says "How's... it... going... everybody?"
Master Vrill kind of blinks and commands Mike to join him. Mike sits back down.
Vrill shakes his head and turns to the human- "Apprentice Gerald, prepare my wagon. Afterwards, get rid of these assholes. I must report to Greyhelm." They all leave.
So there you go. Mike, you're now a zombie. You can do stuff, just, well, it's just that you're a zombie now. You all get the feeling that the Potion Guild apprentices will be back shortly... you're bound and gagged (except Mike's not gagged because the magic missiles blew the gag apart).
What do you do?
